ACER final

by Hargrove, A.

  “Right. HIPAA and all. What if he wants to file charges?” I asked.

  “That’s a different story then, but we’ll have to wait.”

  “When can I see him?”

  “I’m afraid you can’t. He doesn’t want any visitors.”

  My heart exploded into a million shards. “Oh, God.” I fell to my knees and for the first time since right after his disappearance, I sobbed uncontrollably. I was pregnant and wanted to share this news with him. I could no longer hide it and Gemini had guessed. She’d been my support during this.

  Dr. Gordon said, “I’m so sorry. Sometimes it takes a while after something like this. Give him time. His family is on the way. Maybe they can help.”

  Not long after that, his parents rushed in. “Isla, thank God you found him.”

  My eyes were swollen from crying. I swiped the tears away and said, “It was Drex and Gemini’s team. You should thank them.”

  “How is he?” Mr. Kent asked.

  “I don’t really know. He won’t see me. He’s been through a lot. Maybe you can check in on him.”

  They went to his room, and not much longer returned. His mother was weeping.

  “He’s alive and I’m thankful for that, but he wanted nothing to do with us either. The doctor said a psychiatrist is coming in soon to talk to him. I hope he can help,” Dana said.

  “Dana, he has a long road ahead, but I refuse to give up on him.” We hugged each other.

  “I’m happy you’re so strong, Isla.”

  “I’m not so sure about that, but I’m trying.” The only thing I wanted now, I couldn’t have. Holding Acer in my arms was out of reach and the sadness that cocooned me was debilitating. I had imagined a completely different scenario than this. But that was ridiculous. Knowing he’d been held in captivity should’ve clued me in.

  It was late, past midnight, when Drex showed up.

  “How is he?”

  “He won’t see us,” I informed him. Then I introduced him to Dana and Brian, Acer’s parents. They thanked Drex over and over.

  “It was a team effort. And we were all happy to find him.”

  I relayed the information about the psychiatrist, but was realistic enough to know it wouldn’t be until the next day, due to the time.

  “I’ve booked us rooms at a hotel nearby. Why don’t we go and try to get a good night’s sleep? Tomorrow we can look at this in a new light. You’re exhausted, Isla, and sleep might do you some good.”

  “You’re right, Drex. Dana, Brian, how does that sound?”

  Brian nodded. “As much as I hate to leave him, there’s nothing we can do except sit out here.”

  We knew it would be a while before Acer would talk, so we left with Drex.

  Sleep was another issue. I tossed and turned, but all I saw was the hopelessly frightened state of him and the way his eyes begged me not to touch him. They haunted me all night long. At the crack of dawn, I showered and went to the lobby to grab some coffee.

  Back in my room, I googled the different types of PTSD and how best to treat them. It was the wrong thing to do because some cases were resistant to treatment. I prayed his wasn’t that way. In the past few months, I’d never prayed or begged God so much for help. But Acer had to push through this. He just had to. If he didn’t, I would quit everything and dedicate myself to helping him get better.

  My phone buzzed later that morning and we all planned to meet downstairs for breakfast. After we finished, we went to the hospital. I prayed for good news. When we arrived, the nurse said the psychiatrist had visited that morning and he wanted to speak with Acer’s parents.

  They called the number he’d left, and afterward we talked about it.

  “The doctor wants to hospitalize him for addiction first, and once they get that stabilized and controlled, he believes Acer needs long term care. He said that Acer would barely speak to him, except when it concerned his drug use,” Brian told us.

  “Does he have any idea how long Acer will be in this despondent state?” I asked.

  “No. He only said that once they can get the addiction under control, they can start him on other medication to help. That was why he wanted him to remain an inpatient. He wants to move him to a psychiatric facility.”

  My hands covered my mouth as I sucked in my breath. I had a terrible image of a mental hospital, like the kind you see in the movies. “Oh, no.”

  Brian patted my shoulder. “I had that same reaction, but Dr. Sheldon said he would send him to a very nice place, one of the best places in the country. It’s near here, so it would be an easy transition.”

  “Does Acer know?”

  “He said he did, but was not very reactive. He doesn’t think he believes he’s safe yet.”

  “God, that must be a terrible feeling.” I hugged my stomach as I thought about what he must be going through. Dana was crying again.

  Brian put his arm around her and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll do everything in my power to get our son back.”

  “I will too. I’m on that train with you, no matter what.”

  “But what if he’s too damaged to come back to us?” Dana asked.

  “He’s not. He’s a Kent and we’re much sturdier than that. You have to believe in him as much as we do.”

  The sound of her crying hit me in the gut, so I walked away. Drex followed and asked, “You okay?”

  I scoffed. “No. I won’t be okay until Acer wants to see me again and then I won’t be a hundred percent until he’s back.”

  “I understand, but in the meantime, we still have work to do.”

  “You’re right. But right now, I only have one thing on my mind.”

  “Just say the word when you’re ready. You will be, you know. Sitting around and waiting isn’t your thing. You can help him by getting back on track. If we shut down this ring, how many more are out there? And we still need to dig deeper into what Thomas’s activities are.”

  “I know. Give me a few days, will you?”

  “Sure. Just let me know, like I said.”

  “Thanks, Drex. I don’t know how we would’ve found him without you all.”

  “You wouldn’t have. That’s not me being a jackass; it’s just the truth. Law enforcement doesn’t use the tactics we do, as you saw. That’s why we have all our clients sign an NDA.”

  Thank heavens he did or we never would’ve found Acer. And I ask myself if he would’ve made it if we hadn’t.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  ACER

  Days passed, but I wasn’t sure how many. At times my body perspired profusely, at others, I couldn’t get enough blankets on me. I alternated between throwing up and not being aware of my existence.

  One day, the haze broke and I surfaced from its murky depths. I sat up and took in my surroundings. I was in a hospital room. Where, I couldn’t say. My arms were covered in scratches, some healing, others fairly new. The past hung over me, creating an ugly darkness in my soul.

  A nurse came in and smiled. She appeared to be my mom’s age.

  “Acer, how are you feeling? This is the first day you’ve sat up.”

  “Um, a little weird.” My voice was hoarse.

  “That’s to be expected.”

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  She frowned. “First off, my name is Sandy and as for what happened, let me call in your doctor so he can explain.”

  She placed a large container of ice water on my tray. I sipped away at it. It helped to ease my scratchy and dry throat.

  After she checked my IV, she left and a little while later, a man walked in.

  “Acer, I’m Dr. Sheldon. It’s so nice to see you’re awake.”

  “How long have I been here?”

  “Ten days. You came in addicted to heroin and we’re weaning you off. The first week wasn’t so great, as you can see by your arms.”

  “Yeah, I remember feeling sick, but why don’t I remember coming in?”

  He took a seat and said, “Because you’d
been drugged. You’re fortunate you didn’t overdose. Whoever had been dosing you knew exactly what they were doing.”

  When those words hit me, the shaking returned. I vigorously rubbed my arms, trying to make it stop.

  “Acer, can you tell me what happened so I can help?”

  “No.”

  “You have to talk about it sometime.”

  I violently shook my head. “No. I c-can’t.”

  “If you take small steps, I can help you process it.”

  “No! I won’t!”

  He held out his hands. “Okay. How about I tell you how you came to be here then?”

  I huddled under the blanket, as though it would shield me from whatever he was going to say.

  “Your girlfriend, Isla, never gave up on finding you. After you were located, the police came in. They still want to ask you some questions.”

  My girlfriend. “Not my girlfriend anymore.”

  “You’ll have to tell her then, because she hasn’t left this place. She’s been by your side since, as have your parents.”

  “My parents.” It wasn’t a question. I’d have to let them go too. I didn’t deserve them in my life anymore, being as filthy as I was.

  “Apparently, your brothers, Raiden and Cruze, hired a PI firm and along with Isla, they worked tirelessly to find you. They never gave up hope.”

  Hope. It was a word that didn’t exist for me. I was dead inside, even if my body functioned.

  “When they found you, they took you to the hospital, but it was discovered you needed to be detoxed. That’s why you’re here, under my care. I’m a psychiatrist who specializes in patients with abuse issues along with PTSD. That’s what you’re suffering from. I can help you, but you have to let me in. At the very least, you’ll have to talk to the police.”

  My head swiveled from side to side. I’d never reveal to anyone what happened to me. I’d been debased, humiliated, defiled, prostituted, abused, and had things done to me no one should ever have to hear about. Talking about it was never going to happen.

  Dr. Sheldon leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “I’ve helped men and women both who’ve been trafficked. I’ve heard terrible stories, Acer. I can’t imagine what you’ve experienced, but I can help you get through this. Will you ever be the Acer you were before? No. That’s not possible. But what is possible is for you to come out of the darkness and help others who have been through what you have. I won’t push, but I want you to think about something. Do you want to live the rest of your life like you are now? Because if you do, then you’ll let them win.”

  He didn’t say anything as I processed what he said. I didn’t want to be like this forever—huddled under a blanket, afraid of my own shadow. Yet, facing the realities of what happened seemed too daunting. It was over my head right now.

  Dr. Sheldon stood and said, “If you need to talk, just let the nurses know. They know where to find me, any time of day. But if you’re okay with it, I’m going to send in the officer who is here to question you.”

  “Now?”

  “Acer, I can’t hold him off any longer.”

  Officer Bryant came in and was friendly. He asked me so many questions I couldn’t answer, but some I could. Some of the things he asked triggered memories, especially the one where I saw Paulie. I told him about that, the container I’d been held in, and most of what I could remember. I didn’t reveal any of the humiliation I had experienced.”

  He took notes and told me he’d call if there was anything further. Then he was gone.

  For two days, I thought of nothing except what Dr. Sheldon said. I couldn’t lay in bed forever, so I asked to see him again.

  When he showed up, I blurted, “I want to see my parents, but I’m afraid.”

  “Why?”

  I explained about my past.

  “First things first. Your parents love you and will support you no matter what. They’ve been here every day, hoping you’d ask for them. All they want is for you to be healthy again.”

  “What will I say to them? ‘Hi Mom and Dad’ seems pretty fucking lame.”

  “I think those things have a way of working themselves out.”

  “Dr. Sheldon, what if they ask me questions about what happened?”

  “If you want, answer them. If you don’t, just say you can’t talk about it.”

  “Okay.” I sat there waiting for them, feeling like a five-year-old. How would they react when they saw me? When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, the person who had stared back was thin, had long hair, and a prominent jawbone. I had once been muscular, but no more. It would be a long time before I’d look at that image again.

  The door opened and in they came. Mom rushed to my side and hugged me. I cringed at her touch and she instantly let me go.

  “Honey, I’m sorry. I only want to hold you like I used to.”

  My lips pressed together as I nodded. I couldn’t bear the thought of looking at them, of seeing what was in their eyes as they looked back into mine.

  “Son, it’s okay.”

  “No, Dad, it will never be okay.”

  “That’s not what I meant. It’s okay not to want your mother to hold you. Don’t feel guilty about that. We’re just so thankful they found you and that you’re alive.”

  My head jerked up. “Are you? Because I’m not so sure I’d agree with you.”

  Mom began to cry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but it was the truth. Dying would’ve been better. I could’ve left that world behind and not faced this one.

  “Son, I’ll never agree with you on that. I’d take you back any way I can have you.”

  “Dad, that’s easy for you to say. You weren’t tortured the way I was.”

  “I know. But you’re my son and losing you would be losing a part of me.”

  Mom was sobbing by this point.

  “Then consider it lost already, because the Acer you once knew is dead. He’ll never be back.”

  They left shortly after I destroyed them. I hadn’t meant to, but I did, nevertheless. It was what I’d always done though, so what was the difference? I’d always been worthless. Maybe this was payback for all the stupid shit I’d done in my life.

  My hands dug through my hair. The thing was, if I could end my life I would. But I was a chicken shit about doing it. I wasn’t even man enough for that.

  Dr. Sheldon came by later that day and asked about my visit.

  “They’ll be calling you up for your services, I’m sure.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  I explained.

  “Don’t you think that was a bit harsh?”

  “Reality is harsh. Maybe if I’d been prepared for it, I wouldn’t be this fucked up.”

  He was sitting in that stupid chair again. “Acer, no one could’ve been prepared for what you went through.”

  I stared pointedly at him. It was meant to make him uneasy, yet the man never flinched. “You have no idea what I went through.”

  “Yes, I do. You’re not the first patient I’ve treated that was used, abused, drugged, and trafficked. Want me to continue?”

  If he thought he was so fucking smart, why not? “Sure.”

  “At first, you didn’t know what they’d given you, only that it made things better. Until you needed more. Had to have more. Until you’d do anything for it. That’s how the control began. Then came the abuse. Yeah, you were beaten before, but not sexually. That was worse than you could’ve ever imagined, even in your worst nightmares. They did things to you no one should have to endure. Should I continue?”

  “N-no. I’ve heard enough.” Flashbacks hit me at light speed. My second owner was cruel beyond belief and I didn’t care to remember. Only my brain wouldn’t listen.

  “What are you seeing?”

  “Nothing!”

  “Tell me. I can help.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “That’s the only way you’ll be able to deal with it. Please, trus
t me.”

  Trust no one. Trust no one. Trust no one.

  “Don’t ever use that word around me again. I’ll never trust anyone. It only gets you destroyed in the end.”

  “I won’t destroy you, I swear.”

  “How do I know that? Because you have that title, doctor, in front of your name? That means nothing to me.”

  “No, that’s not it. Trust me because I know what you’re experiencing!”

  “You can’t!”

  “Yes, I can! I was a victim too!”

  By this time we were both yelling.

  The words I was about to say vanished from my lips like a wisp of smoke. He’d been a victim.

  “They stole me from a shopping center parking lot when I was thirteen. I was held for almost two years. But my parents, like yours, never gave up, even after the police assumed I was dead. They took me out of the country. I ended up in Thailand. My parents spent all their money searching for me. They hired a private investigation team that comprised of former army rangers to get me out. I was addicted to opiates too. I barely remembered my family by that time. But my family didn’t give up. I was sent to a facility similar to this and put through rehab and intense therapy. It took a while, but I did get better, but only after I talked to the experts and shared what happened. There were other kids there like me who’d been rescued. That’s how I ended up being a psychiatrist. I knew I could help others who’d been through it.”

  Jesus, he’d only been thirteen. He hadn’t known the ways of the world yet. How had he survived?

  “How did you do it?” I asked.

  “Do what?”

  “Come out of the darkness.”