Through Lemons & Peaches

by Shivangi Ruperee

  I couldn’t wait, “Guys! I’ll see you later… I have to congratulate Nisha!”, I made my way through the crowd to reach the backstage. I saw her overjoyed surrounded by many. The guy who won with her - Rishi was a second-year Electronics & Communication student, there were along with him his many other girl pals I was seeing for the first time & there were other popular ones too I guessed as I saw Aman congratulating Rishi with a hug. They all belonged to the same close-knit friend circle I inferred. I was really happy for Nisha as she found her mates the way I did today and I decided to leave without intruding.

  Later that night, when she came back to the hostel, me along with her other friends threw her a surprise party. I asked Aarav to congratulate her as well as I thought what could be a better way to introduce him to my roommate? It seemed everything was finally falling into place. Who knew! Even I could have such a strong social life? Preeti & Anushka became like my sisters and they were roommates at B Wing and as Nisha rarely stayed in the room I started to spend most of the time with them, only coming back to sleep at night. Sleep! Ah, they say an engineering student can only have two things out of the three at a time - Academics, Social Life, Sleep and I had become a night owl but felt it was worth the pain as we entered February, 2012. It was Valentine’s month, & I was excited! Like the couples I used to look at & daydream while roaming around with my parents, even I was about to be one! But we had a new format this year for only our batch, the second semester internal assessment tests, which weighed 30 % of the total grade. They were scheduled during Valentine’s Week, with the last one being on 14th February, 9:00 am.

  *No worries, I’ll wait. Let’s go out for lunch on 14th, we’ll be back before the curfew time. I want to take you to my favorite restaurant* my phone shined with Aarav’s text while I was studying in the library with Pankaj, Preeti & Anushka. “Nice! Are you sure you would be safe? None of us would be there to keep an eye outside the campus”, said Pankaj. “Come on! Yes! It’s just lunch for heaven’s sake”, I said as I laughed. “Okay, as you say!”, none of them looked convinced and I thought they were overthinking out of care. “Let’s solve this numerical, guys!”, I said and diverted the topic. *Can’t wait! * I replied to Aarav.

  Days passed as usual and it was 13th February! I came back to the hostel at around noon after taking a test and had the last one tomorrow morning. I had to start preparing but I kept looking at the red floral dress I had bought & kept safely for tomorrow. * I am so looking forward to tomorrow! Hope your exam went well today* I texted Aarav, and after 60 mins I was desperately waiting for him to respond. That whole afternoon I sent him many many texts, called him multiple times to which I didn’t get a response. I was scared, what if something had gone wrong? But didn’t know the names of any of his friends to contact. I was flustered. “He must have lost his phone, I am telling you! What else can it be?”, said Anushka. “You focus on tomorrow’s test, that’s more important… he will reach out soon”, added Preeti who then smiled at me and played my favorite song. I tried doing what she said but wasn’t feeling contented.

  Next morning, I was pacing up & down in front of the examination hall while looking at my phone. I was restless, I had called him up many times in the morning as well but nothing came from that end. “Exam is about to start, come inside now”, said Pankaj as he handed me a pen. I kept my phone inside the bag hastily, threw my bag at one corner near the teacher’s desk and went on my assigned place to start the 60 mins exam. After ten minutes into it, I started to hear my phone ringing, then the *cling* of the texts. Pankaj turned towards me and gave me a stern look. I knew what he meant, he wanted me to attentively appear for the exam and not stagger. I looked back at the question paper, and there! I was blank. I had totally lost my concentration, all I was thinking was if Aarav was fine. I just wrote the little I could recall for ten more minutes and then I couldn’t take the stress. I handed over my answer sheet, grabbed my bag and ran outside.

  3 missed calls - 1 text message - *I don’t think we should speak with each other anymore Shivangi. I think we aren’t compatible. You are sweet and I wish you the best, but I am blocking your number as I don’t want to hear from you going forward *. I was thunderstruck and I couldn’t move. Why?? was the biggest question in my head. It had almost been 3 months that we were speaking with each other well, never was I clingy, never did we fight! I was baffled and sat on a bench wearing the red floral dress. The sound of the bell pulled me out of my thoughts and I started to walk downstairs before I had to face any of my friends as students started to disperse.

  While walking towards the hostel under the scorching sun. I was still perplexed and felt all this was a weird joke but then I saw Aarav at the Gazebo. He was picking up two milkshakes from the beverage counter. I knew he was bluffing! He knows I love milkshakes… wanted to surprise me obviously! I walked faster towards him. “Thanks, sweetheart!”, said Nisha as she hugged him. Till now I was shocked but now I was heartbroken. As he turned around, he saw me and moved away from her. Nisha turned around as well, looked me in the eye, held his hand and pulled him closer to her while he was uncomfortably looking at me. That was it! I felt disgusted. I looked away and the whole picture was in front of me. She started talking to him behind my back the day I had asked him to congratulate her because of which she subconsciously couldn’t be in the same room with me like she used to be. She had just won Ms. CVIT and had every guy’s attention but she wanted the one who wasn’t stealing glances at her but at someone else. I was disappointed with Aarav. Yes, Nisha was pretty and had just gained popularity but he was the one who had the authority to make the final call. I quickly walked ahead and once they had lost my sight started to run as fast as I could with my face down… I felt humiliated being in that situation… I felt betrayed by a friend… I felt I failed to choose the right guy … I felt I lacked the art of judgement.

  “Stop Shivangi, don’t run! You’ll hurt yourself!”, I bumped into Pankaj and he held me. Running behind me came Preeti & Anushka. As I saw their faces, I cried. They didn’t ask me a word. Pankaj bought me a juice and a brownie as we sat in the park. “You haven’t lost anything, this was a 30 % weightage exam, just for one subject, rest you did well I am sure, if you buck up before April you’ll be through”, said Pankaj. “That’s not why I cried”, I said. “We know, we saw them too”, Anushka said as she held my hand. “Stay with us, our room was anyways a three-person room which they converted to two. You got a 9-point score last semester and according to the hostel rules, you get one chance to change your room”, added Preeti. I got up to do exactly what they said. I thanked Pankaj and then went with Preeti to get the approval from our warden and started to shift swiftly before evening. “It’s okay! Don’t be so sad… in our college itself, there’s a ratio of 300 guys to 1 girl! Imagine how many of them are in this world waiting for you!”, said Anushka. I smiled softly.

  Three girls can surely conquer the world! We shifted all my things in two hours so efficiently that my bed, my desk and everything else, was as it was but now in their room and only a few things were left to be arranged in the cupboard, by evening it was done too. We freshened up, went for dinner and came back to the room. “Now this room feels complete, happy Valentine’s Day babe!”, said Preeti as she took out her party speakers and we all chuckled.

  It occurred to me that I hadn’t looked at my phone since a while and it might worry my parents and yes, I had 10 missed calls. I called them up and told that I shifted with my friends and also that I screwed up the exam today. “It wasn’t the final one! Relax, do it well next time”, said my mom. I felt way better. “Connect your phone with this speaker, you have better songs!”, Anushka took my phone. *Bing* - 1 text message - *I feel horrible, please forgive me. She came on to me persistently and I made a terrible mistake. I have decided to cut her off from my life as she tried to ruin us. I want us back, give me a chance to make it right*. “What the hell man! How dare he?”, exclaimed Anushka as we all read it together. “Give me the ph
one”, I said. She handed it over to me and looked at Preeti with doubts. “Atta Girl!!” We all cracked up as I blocked him.

  4

  My college life started to revolve around lectures, exhaustive electrical engineering lab sessions & my favorite place became the library. I somehow managed to keep my Student Council position that semester with a very narrow margin. Months passed while I consistently kept my attention on the things which really mattered - academics & friendships. The School of Electrical & Electronics Engineering planned for us a lot of industrial visits in that period. We all as a batch boarded multiple college busses and went around Chennai to witness the theories taught in class. The faculties were amazed by the success of this initiative. But the real reason why we always had a full attendance for these trips was Mr. Donald’s Burger Place! where they would always stop during lunchtime. As our college was in the outskirts we didn’t have access to fast food chains. It was tough to travel so far with our schedules & come back before the campus curfew time so these escapades felt like picnics. With the engine’s ignition started the songs we sang ourselves while we all knew what was to come next - live onboard entertainment - a group of boisterous lads acting like females, dancing hilariously all around. The professors accompanying us always tried to control them but most of the times couldn’t conceal their laughter for long.

  During the winter vacations in December, I was in Delhi, where my parents had recently moved. I was helping them decorate our new place but then I came across something unusual. I got a friend request from this year’s Mr. CVIT - Rishi Arora on my social media account. Almost all the people in my friend circle were either my batchmates or seniors from the student council, but he was one of the popular ones. Ah! What harm could it bring? I accepted his request, minutes later - *Hey! How is the summer treating you? * - he texted. I started to contemplate if I should respond. After the Aarav incident, I didn’t want to text people I didn’t know well personally. These days Pankaj was busy organizing his cousin’s wedding, Anushka had gone for a holiday with her family and Preeti was learning to drive. We spoke with each other less frequently, which made me feel really bored at times. On one such day, it became worse because of a power cut! no television & poor data speed for streaming, I finally ended up replying to his text. *It took you 4 days to think about it! Haha… anyways I have seen you reading a book almost every time I have been to the library. Any recommendations? * texted Rishi. Our conversation kept becoming interesting and funnier. We both had the same sense of humor. He was a great storyteller and over the next few days, he told me about his childhood mischiefs, how he ended up in CVIT & how stupid was his first crush.

  We started to text each other every day and each day he narrated a new hilarious incident from his life, even I started opening up a little. It felt like I had found a great friend. A few days later I got a call from an unknown number, it was him! “Hey! wanted to hear your voice. I was done with the emoji’s”, said Rishi, who then told me that he got my number from one of his student council friends and wanted to surprise me. That day we spoke for an hour and laughed our hearts out. He was outgoing, cheerful and grounded. His popularity hadn’t gone to his head and It felt refreshing.

  I found his friendship to be harmless until the day I sensed he was trying to flirt with me, “I hope you are joking and not hitting on me!”, I said. “What if I was?”. After an unexpectedly long pause, I added, “I can’t afford distractions. I think I told you that I haven’t had a good experience with these things “. Rishi replied immediately, “I know you like talking to me and if flirting is making you uncomfortable then I won’t initiate it. But I do like you. At least keep an open perception towards it, then meet me after college reopens & decide. You never told me what bad experience you had but why are you giving it so much of importance by letting that one thing change you?”. I concluded that conversation quickly by saying I needed time to think about it. I was confused. I didn’t want to share my conundrum with my friends, as I thought they would judge me for going on the same path yet again. I couldn’t sleep that night.

  Next day, for the first time I dialed Rishi’s number, “Yes I would like to meet you. We have had great conversations and it would be unfair to judge without meeting you in person. As the college is reopening next week, let’s meet where you noticed me, at the library! It’s my regular place and random students share a table all the time. If we meet there it will look natural and won’t raise eyebrows. I won’t come with a plan but if my feelings come naturally, I won’t hold myself back “. In my head, I knew there was a possibility that I liked him too, otherwise why would I have spoken with him for hours? but this time I wanted to be careful and not be overexcited. Rishi agreed. We went ahead and planned the day and time.

  A week later we had entered the year 2013. I landed at the Chennai International Airport at 11 am took a taxi as fast as I could and reached the hostel in an hour. Preeti & Anushka were yet to arrive from Varanasi as they both had their families based out of there. I kept my luggage, picked up an issued book from my room and texted *Will be there in 15 minutes*. *Already here! Come soon*. I walked briskly into the Library and saw him. We smiled at each other and It felt nice to finally meet the one I had been talking to about life, since a month. I sat next to him.

  I was yet to explore what exactly I felt. “Hey, Shivangi! You are looking really pretty. Black suits you”, he said. I was about to thank him just when two girls came to our table and stood near Rishi. “She’s here, on your right!”, they said. We all looked together. There was a girl in a pink dress crying at the next table. She looked at us and ran outside. “I’ll be back, wait here”, Rishi said as he went outside with the other two girls. In a few minutes, I got up too and followed them.

  “How could you do this to me, Rishi?”, she said as she kept crying but this time it had become louder. At that moment I was perplexed & was still trying to comprehend what was happening, “Go to her! Don’t act nice”, the girl said as she ran past me. The two other girls followed her. I was taken aback by all this as I stood there & saw them until I lost their sight. “Hey! I know you must be feeling weird. Give me just two minutes, I’ll tell you everything” Rishi said as he came beside me. “Was she your girlfriend?”, I asked. “Umm… you can say that we went out for a while”, he answered while his face clearly showed that he wasn’t being completely truthful. “Sigh!”, I started to go back to the hostel. “Wait! I know our plan got spoilt, let’s go for a coffee and I’ll tell you the rest of it there”. I turned towards him and looked him in the eye, “Seriously? a coffee after someone just broke down for you? You know what? I think I don’t know you at all and I don’t speak to strangers”. I knew the pain that girl must have felt as It had happened with me too & without wasting another minute, I walked away.

  I went to the hostel and finally met Anushka & Preeti. We hugged each other and they both told me their vacation stories. It was time I disclosed mine but I didn’t know how to break it to them.” Let’s go to the gazebo, I want to tell you guys something over lemonade, I’ll call Pankaj too”. 30 minutes later. I was staring at them for a reaction. They were silently looking at each other, seconds after which they all cracked up. “What? You guys are laughing!!”. “Why do you get yourself in such situations every time, Shivangi? If you would have told me earlier, I would have told you about his relationship” said Pankaj as he chuckled. “We three are from Computer Science girl! so is Rishi! Everyone knows about his girlfriend” Anushka added.” Her name is Kritika Rana, they are well known to be one of the cutest senior couples from our stream or maybe I should say were”, Preeti said while their phones started beeping all together. *Oh, your friend from Electrical & Electronics is the home wrecker? How did she do it? * - * So, is she and Rishi now together? * - *When did it start? *. As texts poured in from everywhere, it was wildfire. What a mess I had become a part of! Without even asking for it.

  I gazed across & everyone there had their eyes on me. “Let’s get out of h
ere. Come let’s go to the room”, said Preeti. We started quickly and were being stared at all along. We were about to unlock our room but then we saw a group of ten second-year girls, including the two who had come to the library, standing behind us. They were wordlessly conveying hate with their eyes as they came closer. We were scared, what if someone loses it and breaks the anti-ragging rule by hitting. That girl will definitely be expelled later but the harm would have been done. “Come inside quickly!” said Anushka and we three rushed & locked the door from inside.

  “We can’t afford to look timid at all, else you’ll get harassed for sure. You haven’t done anything at all in this but no matter how much you’ll try to explain, they won’t understand”, Anushka looked worried.” Be brave and channel confidence. That intimidates people”, Preeti held my hand. We were waiting for them to disperse, kept checking in every 10 minutes through the keyhole. Eventually, our warden came to know about senior girls entering our wing and her along with some female security guards came and confronted them. They were instructed to leave and not be in our proximity strictly. We felt a little relieved but how effective were these warnings really? Anyways we had to take the first step out. Over the next few months, I did get slapped a hundred times but with horrific taunts. They restricted their act to the common hostel areas - pathways, mess & gardens. Initially, I felt really humiliated and cried every time in solitude but my friends gave me the strength to become numb to it. The senior girls were not the only ones, the entire college had formed an image for me. Some of them were logical enough to ask me my side of the story but I knew no matter how much I explained to them, they still had skepticism. Ultimately, I gave up attempting to make anyone understand me at all and had to go on with my own regular life to avoid having all this impact my academic performance.