Through Lemons & Peaches

by Shivangi Ruperee

  Many burnt circuits & all-nighters later, it was the summer of May 2013, the second year was over for us with flying colors which of course meant that we had officially become the third-year students but for me, it meant more, I had to tolerate the casual bullying by the fourth-year girls for just one more year! The same day was Pankaj’s birthday. We were celebrating at the Gazebo when the gang of those forth year girls arrived but they weren’t alone and had some guy friends along. They sat on the next table, I overheard their conversation and it was someone’s birthday in their group too. I felt relaxed because in the back of my mind, I thought they had come to throw shade at me all together for the first time outside the hostel. Twenty minutes later when Pankaj went to get us our drinks, “Some girls are so shameless I tell you! They woo a committed guy, ruin his relationship & still move on thick-skinned to become a topper. Characterless”, one of the girls said loudly. Preeti & Anushka looked at me with sadness in their eyes but I didn’t feel a thing because in front of their boys the comment was cleaner than the ones they threw in the hostel. “Look behind you before speaking, Prerna”, in a deep stern voice we heard this from one of the guys at their table. We were inquisitive & looked where he had pointed. Rishi was kissing a kiddish looking first-year girl. I was amused and started to smile while Preeti & Anushka were trying to conceal their grin. I got the courage to look at all the fourth-year girls and I went for it. The girls were embarrassed as they realized that the guy who they had thought to be innocent might have had the frivolous side in my case as well. The entire group had their eyes down and couldn’t make an eye contact with me except one, Aman Raghuvanshi who I realized took a stand to clear it up. We gently smiled at each other for a few seconds and I realized that even the picture everyone painted of him was terribly wrong, he was a gentleman.

  My life had now become much simpler but the third year of engineering is the time when most of the students realize that just after one year, they have to compete in a race. General aptitude mockups arrive and all of a sudden becomes way more important than specialization courses because if you don’t clear them you will anyway not have a chance to showcase your technical acumen. While some start preparing for a Master’s degree, I chose to go for campus placements as I was really excited to gain work experience. We devised a strategy to prepare as a group, I was in charge for quantitative aptitude, Pankaj taught us all logical reasoning, Anushka took up verbal ability while Preeti was responsible for preparing all of us for group discussion topics. We worked as an A team that year and it turned out to be the most successful year in terms of grades as well. The seniors had their farewell in February 2014 and many had broken hearts as their crushes were no longer be around. For us, the time had come to see how successful our preparation plan was, as we became the final years and the war was about to start in a month’s time. Two weeks before the anticipated day, Pankaj met with a tragedy, he lost his father. It was unbelievable and we were as shocked as he was, he went to his home immediately and returned back on the placement kick start day itself. We wondered how he would cope up with it. The placement process was combined with the other campus in Vellore which had 5 times our strength. In a batch of 7200 students, placements were already an emotionally draining process as no matter how good you were, a lot depended on luck as well. “Pankaj, sit only for those companies you like, don’t go for all”, I said. I was scared as there was a minimum of four rounds for every company and on clearing each round successfully after you reach the final interview, the ratio of conversion generally was 5:1 - which meant five times one has to clear all these rounds to reach that final deciding stage and out of those five times, one is likely to fetch you a job offer. The probabilities were unrealistic, group discussions were a circus and it was really a game of destiny. “Don’t worry, I am fine”, said Pankaj.

  Normally there was a notion that 9 pointers were easily hired and got placed early, which was not at all the case in 2014. Toppers were being seen as people who have high expectations, unrealistic pride and would eventually leave for higher studies. Companies were choosing everyone but 9 pointers and our entire group were one of them. We four struggled for months together, clearing rounds all the time reaching final interviews and getting judged wrongly by our high grades. It was November 2014, we had already surpassed the general ratio of 5:1 by almost double. I had a break down after my 10th attempt as I got suffocated with the archetype they had put me into after which I decided to take a break from it and stop applying for companies, as it became too painful. My parents supported my decision.

  One day in the library, “People who get grades are not always intelligent. What was the benefit of studying so hard and being a topper when they can’t even get a job!” said Nisha Srivastav who was trying to take a dig at us. I looked at Pankaj and for the first time in my life, I saw a tear rolling down his eyes. He was hands down the best in coding at our campus and along with the topper stereotype, he was also struggling with nervousness as he fumbled at times during interviews. After the unfortunate incident according to Hindu religious belief, he had his head shaven, every interviewer asked him about it and as soon as they did he couldn’t keep up his mask of being fine, made mistakes which he never did. Preeti & Anushka were consoling him and I just couldn’t tolerate that he was crying because of that girl.

  I was agitated. The library had a silence rule but she didn’t respect it! so I got up from my table and went to Nisha. I hadn’t spoken to her ever since her immature action. “Nisha! I know you have had some problems with me. You wanted to say that I am a fool because I didn’t get placed, yet right? According to you, you are the smart one! So, have the guts and not pass random comments when I am sitting with my friends. Look me in the eye and say that I am an Idiot. Go ahead “. She was stunned. “Say it now… say that I am an imbecile to be a consistent topper of our batch”, I said. She couldn’t speak a word. I heard a clap and immediately the whole floor echoed with cheers, she got up and left, looking ashamed. I went back and hugged Pankaj while he cried his heart out. We didn’t stop him either as it was his important first step towards healing. After a few days, he tried for a super dream company - the ones offering the highest salaries and finally achieved what he deserved. We all cried with him that day.

  Next month was winter break, we went to our hometowns. Preeti & Anushka decided to change their original plan and appear for GFRE - An examination for pursuing a master’s degree abroad. In the first attempt, they both cleared it with a high score and started applying to universities. “Please Take GFRE, Shivangi and let’s all three of us go together!”, Anushka started to convince me over a conference call. “You won’t regret it, these universities have exceptional courses & great scholarships”, added Preeti. I was really happy for them but I decided to stick with my initial goal. I knew I needed to regain all my energy and try again. My parents motivated me and I felt inspired by Pankaj. I decided to start applying for January 2015 placements and went on the portal to be surprised. *You have been shortlisted for an interview on Saturday: 17th January 2015 *. Among various screening tests that I had appeared for, I took an online test for a super dream company in September 2014 after which they never came back for the process until now. The company was one of the famous unicorns of the IT industry. I decided to focus all my attention on clearing this one.

  The day came and for the interview, I had to travel to the Vellore campus. The interview process started at 8:00 am for which the college bus for Chennai candidates was to leave at 4:00 am. “Make us proud”, and I waved back at Pankaj, Anushka and Preeti as the bus started. We were 20 from Chennai campus dressed in formals at 4:00 am without getting any sleep travelling 140 kms in a non-AC vehicle through the dusty roads and were competing with 120 from Vellore campus who could easily reach the venue from their hostels with a fresh face and in uncreased attire. I somehow managed to distract my brain from this thought and started to read the notes I had made on the way, what other option did I have? The bus dropped us at the
Vellore campus gate at 7:50 am and we were panicking. It was a 250-acre huge campus and we had to now navigate in 10 minutes. “Guys! Don’t worry. Luckily auto-rickshaws are allowed inside. Let’s take 5, 4 in each and as the drivers know the campus well they will take us to the academic block number 5”, I said. The strategy worked and we reached just in time, asked the students there where the lift was, ran towards the lift, packed ourselves in them and reached our floor. We got out, fixed ourselves to look presentable and fidgeted our way to the interview panels as we hardly had time to think, the rounds had begun.

  Four hours later I got down from the lift to see Pankaj, Anushka & Preeti waiting for me at the entrance of the building. I knew they must have taken a private bus to reach here two hours after I had left. They saw me as well. We ran towards each other. It was one of those moments when I just couldn’t hold back and I started to sob like a baby, they hugged me. “You made it girl! You reached your destiny “. “We all did”, I said as we all cried together.

  5

  June 2015, I reached India’s technology capital - Bengaluru, along with my parents. We hunted for an apartment and finally found a beautiful 2 bhk flat which was near my workplace as well. My dad had to leave for Delhi in a week as he held a crucial position & was needed to join back while my mom stayed with me to give me company till I settle well at my first job. I & my mom started to explore the city, we went to exquisite salons & shopped till we dropped for the apartment as well as for ourselves. We were really excited about my new journey. Two weeks later, Pankaj flew down all by himself as his job location was the same as mine. Preeti & Anushka both got into the same university in Chicago and had already left. I wanted my mom to meet my best friend. We called him for lunch at our new place. He did drop by but I could easily notice that he was still recovering from the loss. He had to take up a lot of responsibilities back at his house and was not the cheerful bubbly guy he used to be. We had sometime before the joining date, I decided that I will help uplift his spirits. We planned a city tour, not even leaving the amusement parks. Sometimes my mom accompanied us too. “It feels like he is my son, your little brother”, she told me one day when we came back after dropping him to his house and we laughed.

  Soon after was my first day at work. It wasn’t just an office, it was a huge campus which looked just like a dream. Amazing lawns & facilities, employees cycling around inside the campus. The feeling was fabulous. For the first time, they had ventured into fresh graduate hiring and 100 new engineers from all around India were joining the organization along with me that day. Once we all had completed the paperwork, a Human Resource Professional took us on a detailed tour. The corridor walls were full of successful international patents filed by the employees who worked there. It was inspiring. The next day onwards they had planned for us an entire month of campus to corporate training, full of team building activities through which they wanted to teach us lessons of effective business conduct. That one month was what is called pure bliss. An extremely experienced learning & development trainer had come all the way from California. She was extremely dynamic & we did learn a lot about ethics and behavioral best practices, but along with that, we had a lot of fun with each other. All of us were really impressed by the organization’s moral standards and felt we were at the right place. On the last day of our training, we were invited to a huge party at one of the premium five-star hotels with all the top executives and as engineering freshers, we were all blown away!

  I used to meet Pankaj every weekend and we either tried out one of the most popular restaurants or went for a movie. I could see that although slowly, he was regaining his smile. On one such outing we were at a really beautiful Mexican restaurant, “Do you know when was the first time I saw you?”, he said. “Of course, at the orientation!”, I replied laughing. “No, it was at the Jaipur International Airport when we were on the way to Chennai to attend the counselling “. I was surprised. “Really? Then you must have noticed my nervous face at the counselling as well”, I replied energetically. “Yeah, I did, I had got an admission and saw that you were still waiting for your turn. I made some lame excuse and told my parents to wait. I didn’t leave until I saw you come out and hug your parents with the admission envelope in your hand”, he gently looked at me and smiled. He had turned pink and couldn’t look at me. “It was always in my imagination to be with you at a place like this, whenever I saw couples hanging out “. I was astounded and I couldn’t drink another sip of my mocktail. “I liked you the moment I saw you and as I got to know you over the years I fell for you. I just didn’t know how to express it. Since we have started to be with each other on our own, I just can’t hold back and I want to confess… “. I knew where he was going with it and he was looking like a cute little boy dressed up like cotton candy for Halloween. I had no idea about what I wanted to do so before he could complete I said, “Pankaj! Why did you never tell me about this airport & counselling incident? Anyways, even I feel that these weekend plans we make are so refreshing. Let’s try out the new pizza place near my house next time”. Pankaj looked a little disappointed, “Ah! Okay done. Next Saturday”, he added while I looked at him with an unnaturally happy face.

  Next week at work we were introduced to our reporting managers and our teams. I was mesmerized as all of them were such high achievers and felt blessed to be having an opportunity to work with them. We were undergoing rigorous technical trainings now and they were exceptional. I was on cloud nine. On Friday, that week, after work, I decided to discuss my dilemma and I made a call. “Look, what happened when you chose a guy yourself?”, said Anushka. “Do you feel an attachment towards him? Okay imagine this, can you be happy the same way if he isn’t there in your life anymore?”, asked Preeti. “Of course, I want him to be in my life, Preeti. He has been with me through lows & highs. I have so many memories attached with him”, I said. “I think he was always the right one for you and now if it’s about to happen I think you should stop making the wrong choice. He knows you so well. Who can be a better partner than him?”, said Anushka. “I have seen so much concern in his eyes and now I realize that he really loves you, Shivangi!”, added Preeti. “Thanks, guys! I’ll carefully think about it”, I said as I concluded our conversation. I went to my mom, she was reading a book, “Mom! I think Pankaj likes me”, I said. My mom was amused. “Do you like him back?”, she asked. “I don’t know”, I hugged her. “Think about it, do only what your heart says. He’s not a bad guy that’s all I can say, but it’s for you to decide”, she smiled. Later that night I was prancing up & down the house without a pinch of sleep, we were to meet tomorrow. By any chance, I didn’t want to lose him neither I knew if the attachment I felt was love. My eyes fell on the book my mom was reading and I took it up to distract myself. I began with the first chapter and a few lines caught my attention, “You are happy in a relationship when you are with someone who loves you, rather than being with someone you run after to feel loved “. It felt like the universe’s cue.

  The next day when I reached the restaurant I saw him with a teddy bear & a bunch of roses. My heart just melted. I hugged him and accepted his proposal. He officially became my first boyfriend in the eyes of the world but our relationship was still the same, just the label had changed. I loved to see him smile but, in my heart, I knew that this love for him was based out of our deep friendship & was platonic. At times when he wanted to be like a real lover, I used to back off and we started having fights. After a few arguments, it felt like he wasn’t the guy he used to be in college. He had become extremely pessimistic regarding life and was sarcastic all the time. No matter how much I tried to bring some positivity, it lasted just for a few moments. For the memories we had together, I kept giving it a chance every time. I met Pankaj only on holidays, half of which was spent by me trying somehow to balance his apprehensions. We used to fight like siblings at times, over small things & my mother had to be the peacemaker. I was unhappy in my personal life because no matter what I did, Pankaj had de
veloped a habit of complaining. No matter wherever we went, he always came back bickering over something or the other. He had forgotten to enjoy but I hadn’t, that year my real happiness came from elsewhere, I was at the peak of my career and I kept most of my focus there. My mom kept travelling in between Delhi & Bengaluru.

  A senior executive at work, Mr. Shekhar Chaudhary was the one who had hired me from CVIT and two other freshers from other colleges in his team. He was like a father figure for us and he mentored us with a lot of sensitivity & honesty. Under his leadership, our team ended up performing really well that year and in September 2016, he was promoted as the department head. We all were really happy for him and it was well deserved. But as he got promoted, the employees were now reshuffled and after the drastic rearrangement I was still under him but now had a completely new team and a new immediate manager who was internally hired from another department, Mrs. Pranathi Mistry. This was the first time we had female representation in management in our department and as a girl I looked upon her. Excited, I shifted my cubicle. My new team had some of the most well-known professionals at our company- the most experienced one was Mr. Deepak Gupta, one was bought by Mrs. Pranathi from her older department, his name was Mr. Lala Prakash, one was Samrat Banerjee who joined with me as a fresher & some were newly hired. We had our first meeting and I realized I was the only girl! I thanked the time I managed to cope up an entire semester in that Machine Design class with Mechanical Engineering guys as now I had no discomfort.