Easy Love

by K. Alice Compeau

  “He’s doing great. And you were right, he was fast to train. He’s my smart boy.”

  “I told ya. I could tell he was smart by the way he conned us into feeding him half of our egg rolls. It’s something in the eyes of a dog. You can tell if they’ve got a lot of thoughts churning behind them or not. I’d like to see him again.”

  “I think he’d like that, too.” Lottie’s cheeks flushed. She turned her head to look out the window to avoid him noticing the pink in her cheeks as he backed the truck out of the parking space.

  Grant drove directly to the White Buffalo and ordered her two espressos and a large White Buffalo Mocha. “That’s bound to get you through the rest of the afternoon.” He handed her the first espresso and put the other drinks in homemade, wooden cup holders.

  Lottie removed the lid of the first espresso and blew on it as he drove to Fat Daddy’s. She took little sips and tried to balance the liquid in the cup every time they hit a bump.

  “Why don’t I go in and order for us while you enjoy your coffee?” Grant said as he pulled in.

  “Sure, thanks.” Lottie fumbled through her purse with one hand while holding the espresso in the other.

  He held up his hands. “My treat.”

  “But you paid for my coffee. I can’t let you get my lunch, too.”

  “Sure, you can. It’ll be my way of paying you back for being my first friend at the school and putting up with having lunch with me that first week.”

  Lottie smiled.

  “What can I get you?”

  Lottie had enough of healthy eating lately and didn’t have the will to pretend to eat like a skinny supermodel. “A bacon cheeseburger and a side of fries.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll be right back.” Grant climbed out of the truck and went inside.

  Lottie sipped her coffee and once again snuck a peek at his butt as he walked in. He stopped and smiled at her before pulling the door open and going inside. She wasn’t sure David had ever done a look back. A pain hit her stomach that was hotter than the espresso. Instantly, she knew she’d made the wrong choice.

  With David, she was always trying to prove that she belonged with him. With Grant, she just knew that she did. Burning tears filled her eyes. Her chance was blown. Grant could have been hers. She knew it. But now he belonged to Tiffany, and knowing the way that she felt when Veronica interfered in her relationship, she’d never do that to Tiffany. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t been together long; she wasn’t going to do that to anyone—ever.

  Lottie sighed and leaned her head against the truck window, glancing over at the keys hanging from the ignition, radio on, air conditioning cooling her face. David always took the keys and left her in silence, not thinking of her comfort, no matter how hot it was.

  “You can always feel the truth. Ignore the words,” she muttered. That was the advice her grandma had given her when she was dating David, unsure of whether he loved her. She didn’t understand then what her grandma was trying to tell her. Never one to interfere, her grandma wouldn’t have said if she thought David wasn’t right for her. It was clear now. Everything Grant did showed he cared for her. Everything with David was her trying to earn his love and approval.

  Tears slid down Lottie’s cheeks. She tried to suck in deep breaths to clear out the aching feeling, but they hitched in her chest, causing more to spill tears over the rims.

  As Grant emerged from the restaurant with the bags in his hands and a smile painted across his face, Lottie desperately tried to wipe away her tears, fearful that half of her makeup would end up on her shirt.

  Grant’s face sunk when he pulled open the door and looked at her. “Lottie, what’s wrong?”

  He set the bags on the seat between them and climbed inside, turning to her and placing his hand on her shoulder.

  The touch of his hand sent another wave of tears pouring out and breaths hitching. She couldn’t speak. She could only shrug and shake her head.

  He squeezed her shoulder and held onto her. “Take as long as you need.” He fumbled through the Fat Daddy’s sack and pulled out some napkins, handing her one.

  She wiped her cheeks and nose. “I’m sorry. I’m okay. I’ll be okay. We better drive back, or we won’t have time to eat.” Lottie forced a smile and pulled free the hair that was tucked behind her ear to cover her face.

  “Okay. Mind if I come to your room to eat? You don’t have to talk about it, but you seem like you could use a friend right now.”

  Lottie nodded.

  The drive back to the school was quiet. Lottie pointed the vent at her face and let the cool air dry her cheeks. Could she really sit and eat with Grant without explaining her meltdown? She refused to tell him it’s because she knew she blew her chances with him and wanted to go back to their first week together. Go back to their date before David swept in and ruined it. There was no way to tell him that she felt like a fool for writing David every day and sucking his cock before he left. All the energy she spent on David never got her anything in return. And yet something in her hoped he’d want her. She still wanted him to want her. Nothing about her relationship with David made any sense. What would she say? “I’m crying because I want David to want me to move to Hawaii to be with him, but I also want you to want me and spend time with me and not be with Tiffany. I want everything and nothing. I want never to have been born. I want to disappear.”

  They pulled into the parking lot, and Grant carried the sacks and extra coffees inside. Lottie followed him, looking up at the clock in her classroom as they sat at the desk. Only ten minutes to eat. She could avoid the topic for ten minutes.

  Grant placed her food in front of her and unwrapped his burger and took a bite. Although she now didn’t feel like eating, she pulled her burger to her lips and took a big bite. The bacon and burger tasted like junk food magic, lifting her spirits, and she smiled.

  “Good, huh?” Grant winked.

  “Really good,” she mumbled around her bite. Concentrating on her burger and fries, she enjoyed the comfortable silence with Grant.

  After eating, he cleaned up their papers, stuffing them into the Fat Daddy’s sack, and stood. He bent over and kissed Lottie on the top of head. “If you ever need me, don’t hesitate to stop by or give me a call.” He took the garbage with him and walked out the door and back to his room.

  Lottie stared at the door, resisting the urge to run across the hall and throw herself into his arms. The students began to flow in from their lunch and recess, arguing over who kicked the ball the farthest during their game of kickball. She sucked down the remaining—but now too cold—espresso and forced a smile, feeling a bit refreshed and determined to get through to the end of the day.

  When the final bell rang, Lottie scooped up her stuff and scuttled down the hall to Beth’s room. She collapsed into one of the seats in the back and stared up at Beth, who was erasing the board. Turning around, Beth jumped. “I thought I was alone. How long have you been there? Did you hear my fart?”

  “No.” Lottie crinkled her face. “Stay over there then so I don’t have to smell it.”

  “Okay, but you’re missing out. Smells like rotten eggs. You know, I hear about pregnant women getting morning sickness and shit, but I have the worse farts of my life. And I want to fart all the time. I crop-dusted a few of the kids today. It’s coming in quite handy. When they’re not doing their work, it shuts the little chatterboxes right up.”

  “I’m so glad you’re not my teacher.” Lottie shook her head.

  “Oh, stop. I’m amazing. And don’t pretend that you don’t have a few kids whose faces you haven’t wanted to fill with fart from time to time.”

  Lottie tilted her head and tapped her chin. “I suppose.” She grinned. “So, I had lunch with Grant today.”

  “Oh?” Beth’s eyes widened. “How was that?”

  “Horrible. And wonderful.”

  Beth’s eyebrows knitted together. She put the eraser in the tray, walked over, and sat on the desk in front o
f Lottie. “More info.”

  “It was so good to be with him. But I started crying. I didn’t tell him why and he didn’t ask, but I didn’t want the lunch to end, even though we were eating and not talking.”

  “Tell him you want him.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I already wrote David and told him I’d like to get back together. And I think I do want that. But I also want to be with Grant. But I’m not going to do to Tiffany what Veronica did to me. And he seems happy with her anyway, so I don’t know if he even wants me anyway. I just feel so confused. I’m an idiot.” Lottie laid her head on the desk.

  Beth stroked Lottie’s hair. “You’re not an idiot. And I doubt Grant and Tiffany are serious yet. Did you ask him about it?”

  “No way!” Lottie sat straight up.

  “Do you want me to ask him?”

  “No! It’s not like he won’t know why you’re asking, and I’m not sure I want to know. What if he says yes?”

  “At least you’ll know.” Beth shrugged.

  “Just promise me you won’t. I’m married to David. If he wants to start over with me, I owe him that.” Lottie sighed.

  Beth shook her head. “You don’t owe him anything. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? Michael has a night flight. We can talk.”

  Lottie shrugged.

  “Yes, you’re doing it. We’ll go to spin and then have some dinner.”

  “Spin?” Lottie shook her head and scowled.

  Beth giggled. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. I’ll fart and we’ll both pretend we don’t smell it and watch everyone else’s faces.”

  Lottie laughed and shook her head. “You’re sick, you know that?”

  “I know.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Grant

  Grant climbed into his truck, looking over the empty space that Lottie had occupied earlier in the day. The tears streaming down her face filled his mind. He ached to know what was wrong, but it was obvious that she wasn’t ready to tell him. His stomach pinched, and he chastised himself for hoping that she was upset about David. He should be wishing for her happiness, and in a way, he was, but the wish was that she would find happiness with him.

  He headed home, hoping not to find Tiffany waiting for him. He liked seeing her, but her friendship with Nana made him far too accessible to her. Perhaps if he had time to miss her, he would. As he drove by his street, he noticed her Vespa parked outside, and he quickly aborted the right-hand turn. He kept driving. Before he spent any time with Tiffany, he needed to get Lottie off his mind, or he knew he’d treat her with contempt that she didn’t deserve.

  Without purpose, he wound through the streets of town until he ended up at the animal shelter. He parked and walked toward the front door. A woman chain smoked beside it. “You here to find a friend?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Go on back. I’ll be in in a few.”

  Grant nodded and pushed his way inside. He followed the sign for ‘dogs.’ The moment the door was open, dogs barked and jumped, begging for his attention. He walked down the rows until he stopped in front of the cage of a sad-looking blond border collie huddled in the back corner who didn’t give him a second glance or even a first. Her hair was shorter than it should be, and she was emaciated.

  “Came in yesterday. Still on stray hold.” A raspy, cigarette-coated voice drifted over his shoulder on stale, smoky breath. “Ain’t moved from that corner. Won’t even eat.”

  His face sank. The way the dog looked on the outside matched the way he felt on the inside—trapped and lonely. “Mind if I hang out with her a while?”

  “Well, I don’t feel comfortable letting you inside with her. She ain’t been temper tested yet. But you can hang out in here. I’m sure the others will calm their barking after bit.” She waved and pushed out through the door.

  Grant sat down on the floor and leaned on the gate. “I understand,” he muttered, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. His eyes fluttered open when a fuzzy chin made its way through the chain link and rested on top his hand. Turning his head, he found the Border collie’s soft, amber eyes connecting with him. He didn’t dare move. While she didn’t look completely comfortable, she looked as though she desperately needed to connect with another creature. He needed it, too.

  Would he ever be happy? One thing he did know, he was going to make life happy for this dog while he could. He decided then and there that if she was still here when her stray hold was up, he was going to take her home. He’d been missing Brutus for far too long. Heck, he even missed Pickles. It had been nice to have a dog ride in the cab of his truck again.

  Grant stayed and told the blond pup all about Lottie and Tiffany, her eyes rising and softening as though she understood every word. When the raspy, walking chimney popped back in to check on them, she was surprised that the dog had approached Grant and had given him a bowl of food to try to get her to eat.

  She’d eat one morsel at a time, and he sat there, feeding her the whole dish, one by one, even staying half an hour after the shelter closed.

  “I’ll be back to see you tomorrow.” He rubbed the dog’s furry snout through the fence and looked up to the woman who told him he either had to go or get locked in for the night. “Is it okay if I come back tomorrow to check on her?’

  “Sure. I’ll do some temper testing on her in the morning, and if everything’s fine, you can help me brush her and pick all those ticks off of her. I gotta admit, it’s the one job that always gives me the heebie jeebies. I gave her a coating with some tick powder, so hopefully most of them will drop off tonight.” She began hacking.

  Grant tried not to crinkle up his lip as all the tar in her lungs seemed determined to free itself at that very moment. Instead, he spread on smile and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Both of you.” He smiled at the dog, his heart tugging as he began to walk out, as though she were holding it.

  It would be a good time to get a dog, he told himself as he climbed in his truck. The school year was almost out, and he’d have time to train her. There was no way Nana was going to be able to train and walk a dog who weighed half her body weight.

  His brows knitted together; would Nana be opposed to the idea of getting a dog? She would be good protection for her when she was home alone, he’d tell her. Especially once he started a job in the fire house come fall. He knew Nana liked dogs. She’d always had rough collies when he was growing up, one after the next all named Lassie.

  True, this dog wasn’t a rough collie but a border collie. That had to be close enough. All the way home, he’d gone over the argument he’d give in his mind and thought about the best time to bring up the subject. No sense in getting Nana’s hopes up about the dog if someone claimed her before her stray hold was up, but he had five days to prime Nana about the idea.

  Grant grinned when he turned onto the street and saw that Tiffany’s Vespa was gone. As he pulled into the driveway, he noticed the grin that was stretched across his lips. He shouldn’t be so pleased with the fact that his girlfriend was gone. But the truth was that Tiffany could only make him smile that way for being gone, and Lottie could make him smile that way just thinking of her. And being with Lottie lit him up on the inside like the City of Altus’s Christmas in the Park.

  As he pushed his way in the unlocked door, he rolled his eyes and groaned. Tiffany should have known to lock the door when she left. “Nana?”

  “In the dining room, honey. I’m just setting the table. Be a good boy and come help your nana. You just missed Tiffany. She left here about twenty minutes ago.”

  “Oh, bummer,” Grant mumbled as he kicked off his shoes.

  “Oh, goodness, never mind.” Nana crinkled up her nose and waved her hand in front of it. “You stink like cigarettes. Did you go to a bar or something after work?”

  Not wanting to tell Nana about the dog yet, he shook his head. “Just a quick drink with some folks
from work. School’s almost out, so we decided to go for a drink. We won’t be seeing each other much after that.”

  “Well, I wish you had called. Tiffany was awfully disappointed that you didn’t come home. She sent you messages, but I guess your phone was off?”

  Grant reached into his pocket and looked at his phone. Tiffany had left five messages. He fought hard to keep his eyes from rolling. “I forgot to turn it on after classes.”

  “Well, I’ll finish setting the table by myself. Please do me a favor and go take a quick shower and put on some fresh clothes. Just throw those straight into the washing machine when you come out.”

  “Yes, Nana.” Grant spun on his heels and padded into his room. He tossed his cell on his bed and headed out again and slipped into the bathroom.

  Placing his hands on the sink, he sighed and studied his face in the mirror. “What are you doing?” The pit of his stomach was hollow, and it ached. He knew he had to break it off with Tiffany. Even if he could never have Lottie, he knew Tiffany wasn’t going to make him happy, and he cared about her enough not to want to ruin her chances for happiness with someone else.

  A groan escaped him. After his shower, he would talk it over with Nana, who he knew would be just as disappointed as Tiffany. It was as though he’d have to break up with her twice. He pulled off his smoky clothes and threw them into the corner of the bathroom, turned on the water, and climbed inside once the water reached the perfect temperature.

  Thoughts of freeing himself from Tiffany soon turned to thoughts of possibly being with Lottie. And thoughts of being with Lottie led him back to thoughts of kissing her. The water raced down his body as his mind did with images of her hands on him. His body reacted. Lathering up his hands with soap, they slid down his body to his cock. He closed his eyes and let the thoughts of Lottie lead him to a great release. Opening his eyes, he longed more than ever to be with Lottie and no one else.