Liner Notes

by Madden, A. M.

  My chest constricted painfully from the raw emotions stabbing at my heart. I should have proved him wrong, admitted he was probably right, or even begged him to understand my issues. I didn’t. I simply sat and seethed over his accusations, over Jen’s threat, over my continuing to fuck up.

  And I continued to seethe as he walked to the door, yanked it open, and walked out. Like a sick joke, my phone began buzzing from where I had thrown it earlier. Once I accepted her call, I said, “Everything has gone to shit, Lei.”

  “What happened?” she asked.

  With a lump the size of a golf ball lodged in my throat, I managed to relay it all to Leila as she sat quietly on her end. “She assigned him a junior agent, Lei. The kid has enough experience to fill a thimble, yet there he is representing LRV’s biggest rising star. And she did it just to keep me from my happiness.”

  “What a bitch,” she finally said once I was done.

  “I’m sorry I always defended her to you. But you were right all along.” I hadn’t even realized I’d been pacing the whole time until I jabbed my shin on the corner of my coffee table and flinched.

  “The best of us have gotten burned by that ruthless woman, and I totally understand why you were so quick to concede. Part of me doesn’t think Louis would have a problem with you and Cannon as long as it doesn’t interfere with his success. Having said that, it all depends on how Jen spins it to him.”

  “Exactly. I have to buy some time. Cannon gave up on me, and for his sake I need him to be mad. It’ll keep him at a distance until I figure out my options.”

  “When does Cannon leave?”

  “A week from Wednesday. Wanting to send him off properly, his family is due to arrive in LA for Thanksgiving in a few days…” An event I looked forward to. Well, that wouldn’t happen. First off, I doubt he’d want me there, but even if he did, I’d need to decline.

  Reading my mind, my friend predictably said, “Fly to us for the holiday.”

  “I can’t, Lei. Thank you, though.” I needed to stay put for now.

  “If you change your mind, we’re here.” God, I loved her. “How long is his contract?”

  “Renegotiation will occur after his tour. Cannon’s lawyer insisted on it.”

  “That’s good. Until then, play along and do your job. We’ll figure this out, Lor. I promise.”

  Chapter 33

  Cannon

  I wonder if I could shove an entire apple in his mouth? I bet it’d fit. If Liam was here and dared me I’d do it. Glancing at the half of a sandwich that remained on my plate—maybe that would fit better. His mouth kind of had a joker thing happening, the way it spread from side to side may be better suited for a triangular-shaped object than a round one.

  While he went on and on, I stared at him, bored out of my fucking mind. No disrespect to Seth, and except for the fact I constantly imagined shutting him up in creative ways, he was a decent guy… a bit too eager for me, but whatever. I wasn’t sure anyone in his position would impress me. The dude really didn’t have the cards stacked in his favor when he got me as a client.

  These past ten or so days I had gone from being furious to feeling helpless to becoming acquiescent. As Liam had pointed out, what was I supposed to do, quit? I needed to play my ass off and make my mark. Sure, I talked a great game now. No doubt, in fifteen minutes I’d be back to being furious. That was how it’d been every hour that dragged by, going full circle.

  “Okay, that’s it.” Seth pushed a thick envelope across the table and grinned. “Here are all the receipts showing your rent is paid up until May and your truck is stored in a private garage. All your mail will come to me, and I’ll sort and deliver anything you need while you’re away. Is there anything else you want me to handle?”

  Yes. Get yourself a muzzle.

  “Nope. You got it all taken care of. Thanks, Seth.”

  “That’s my job,” he touted proudly. As he threw his dorky messenger bag over his shoulder and stood, relief that this meeting was finished settled over me before he went and ruined it by adding, “I’m heading over to Lori’s place now.” Fuck, I should’ve gone with the apple. “I’ll let her know I pushed up your flight to tomorrow instead of Wednesday.”

  “Thanks.” I had asked Seth to go directly to Dylan at LRV for that request. It wasn’t anyone’s business why I wanted out of LA as soon as possible.

  Opening night in New York City had been something I’d visualized since day one, and in my little daydream a certain redhead was front and center. Part of me hoped she’d come, surprise me maybe, but with each day that went by without communication that wish seemed more and more far-fetched.

  Since walking out of her condo, I had heard from her once. She’d texted me to say that based on my popularity status LRV had decided to go ahead and give me security at each tour stop and not just the major cities. Apparently that had been a problem when Devil’s Lair had started out, and the label didn’t want to make the same mistake taking my rise in fame for granted.

  Knowing she was alone for Thanksgiving, I had then texted her with one last attempt to have her come for dinner. She’d simply written back:

  I don’t think that’s a good idea. Give everyone my best.

  My family bought the excuse she was extremely busy getting ready for the tour. We managed to enjoy a nice dinner, mainly because I faked my way through it. Once they left for Arizona, I asked Seth to get me on LRV’s jet as soon as possible. I wanted away from all the reminders that wouldn’t stop haunting me. I’d rather sit in a hotel room alone than smell her perfume that lingered in my apartment, remember her naked body in my shower, my bed, on my fucking kitchen table. Everywhere I turned, I saw her.

  The best Seth could do was to get me out a day sooner than scheduled.

  Before she’d dumped me, Lori had said Jack and Leila wanted so badly to be at my opening night. Unfortunately they had headed out on tour earlier than scheduled. From what Lori said, Jen was behind the shift, claiming it was better for the band to tour sooner than later. It seemed many shit-shows under LRV’s umbrella had Jen’s name written in the credits.

  But once Jen had finally convinced them and all was confirmed, DL’s bass player, Trey, had left rehab and taken off without a word. He’d since communicated he was fine but not ready to return to the band. Jack and Leila have been dealing with their own problems, so having them away when I arrived was probably for the best. I could picture myself squatting in their apartment pleading for help in getting Red back.

  “Have a good flight. I’ll meet you at Galaxy headquarters before your radio interview on Friday. Call me with anything you need,” Seth said, as his brows lifted dramatically on the word anything.

  “Thanks,” I repeated robotically.

  He took two steps and then turned around. Christ, get lost. “And don’t forget to leave your key under the mat. I’ll grab it sometime tomorrow morning.”

  “Yep.”

  I watched him walk out of Baked Goods, waited ten full minutes for good measure, and only then headed back to my apartment. The last thing I needed was Seth remembering yet another thing he needed to share and staying for hours because he never knew when to shut the hell up.

  Having taken only a few steps from the café, I saw a group of girls giggling as they approached. One of them looked my way, stopped, and gawked just as I slipped around the corner. I kept looking back to be sure it hadn’t clicked who I was yet before sprinting into my building like my ass was on fire. This new mind-set of being famous was hard to get used to. Last thing I needed was to have my address plastered all over the internet.

  Opening my door, I threw my keys on the table with a sigh. One more night and then I’d be gone. Liam had planned a huge thing later, although he wouldn’t tell me what it was. All he’d said was to be sure to take a nap, which wasn’t a good sign.

  Aimlessly, I drifted into my room. Even with the distinct odor of cleaning solutions, I could still smell her now-faint scent. Lori didn’t wear perfume
, but the smell of coconut from the hair products she used turned me on more than if she had. Shit, anything she did turned me on, especially when we fought. That led to reliving the last time we fucked. Christ, that night was one I’d never forget. And the more I envisioned it, the harder I got.

  Basically, I had nothing to do with myself. My bags were packed, and my apartment was cleaned out for my long absence. Therefore jerking off to Red it was. But before I could unbutton my jeans, my cell buzzed in my pocket.

  With a groan, I retrieved it and saw Chris’s name. I could’ve easily let it go to voice mail, but I hadn’t spoken to him since my trip back home, and something told me to answer his call.

  “Hey, man. How are you?” I asked, dreading this conversation. If Holly hadn’t told him what she’d admitted to me, as promised, then I’d be forced to.

  “I know you’re leaving and probably busy as fuck, but do you have time to talk?”

  “Of course.” I plopped onto my bed, waiting for what I knew would come. “You okay?”

  “Not really. Holly told me she spoke to you.”

  Playing dumb would be dumb, so I acknowledged what he referred to by saying, “I don’t feel the same, Chris.”

  “I know. And she claims she loves me, too, but I just can’t continue with her knowing she still loves you. I know it’s fucking hypocritical based on the fact I started our relationship as a sloppy-seconds boyfriend to begin with.” His breaths came hard and heavy over the phone, but I remained silent. “Obviously after being with you for three years she’d still have some feelings, but to admit she was still in love with you is a hard limit.”

  “So what are you gonna do?”

  “I already did it. It’s over.”

  “I’m really sorry, man.” Guilt flashed, knowing they’d probably still be together if I hadn’t given Holly an ultimatum… but that wouldn’t be fair to Chris. “I know you cared for her.”

  “It is what it is.” More silence came, and then he said, “So… I’m flying to New York on Thursday. You have a ticket for me? I’d like to see my best friend on his opening night.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Yep… you just need to get me in. I know your family is attending the Tucson show, so if you don’t mind me making a fool out of myself, I’d like to play the best friend card and ride the wave with you.”

  “Shit, dude. That means a lot to me.” Damn, I hadn’t expected that. Not until that moment had I realized how awesome it would be having someone who knew me as well as Chris did attending. “Call me when you land.”

  “Will do. And Cannon… thanks for having my back, man.”

  “Always.”

  Liam had chosen The Green Rabbit for my farewell party. I could hear the music thumping from inside the cab a block away. Layered on top of that was the noise that came from a crowd of rambunctious partiers. Despite how loud they were, no doubt Bobby ruled them all with an iron fist.

  “Dude, I can’t get arrested tonight.” Even from where we sat at a red light, people kept filing in through the door.

  Liam glanced my way with a smirk. “I have bail money. Chill.”

  “Hilarious.”

  The cab pulled up in front of the bar, and as Liam slid his credit card through the reader, I got out and came face-to-face with Oliver. This fucker again? With his hands shoved into the pockets of his designer black slacks, he glanced down at the tears in my jeans that exposed my knees.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  An arrogant smirk spread over his lips at my immature outburst. “I was having dinner with Blake, and he said to drop him off here for your farewell party.”

  At that moment, Liam came to stand beside me on the sidewalk. “Hey, Mr. Steiner,” he said awkwardly before cutting his eyes toward me.

  “Liam,” the asshole said with a nod. “Your buddy is inside.”

  Taking the hint that the prickhead dangled, Liam clapped me on the back. “I’ll head in and go find him.”

  Meanwhile, my gaze drilled into Oliver’s face. “Blake said you’re leaving tomorrow. Good luck to you, son.”

  Don’t call me son sat bitterly on my tongue. “Thanks.”

  “I saw my friend Louis just yesterday. He has high hopes for you and is thrilled with your success. Lori definitely deserved that promotion.” Promotion? My blood simmered when he added, “Lori’s too driven to spend her days on a tour bus doing grunt work, and we both know how temptingly beautiful she is. Jen made the right call assigning that new kid as your agent.”

  The motherfucker knew. Jen had filled him in, and this was his pathetic attempt to rile me up. Well, mission accomplished. While he raked over me condescendingly, it took every fiber of my being to not punch the shit-eating grin off his face.

  “She’s meant to be cherished and adored… and she’s destined for a prosperous life.” The blood simmering in my veins turned into a full rolling boil. During my internal fury, Oliver clamped a hand on my shoulder, and I promptly shrugged it off to which he chuckled. “You’re about to be a star. Go play your guitar and take advantage of the wet pussies that will chase you from city to city. It’s more your style.”

  I got right into his face and hissed “Blow me” before walking away and ignoring another arrogant chuckle. Before I could disappear into the bar, the heavy wooden door flew open, revealing a bright-eyed blonde with a body made for sin.

  “Hi. I’m Tabitha.” She sidled up beside me and slipped her arm under mine. “Your friend Liam sent me out to look for you. Are you ready to party?”

  “I sure am, sweetheart,” I said, smiling down at her as we headed inside. One more glance over my shoulder, and there was prickhead staring at me like the cat that swallowed the canary.

  Chapter 34

  Cannon

  Note to self. Never get piss drunk before flying across the country. Not fun. Somewhere over Utah I puked my brains out. It was when we reached Nebraska that I passed out in the jet’s private bedroom. And the part that was still fuzzy was exactly why I drunk texted:

  i fucked up red but you shouldn’t have left me.

  Once I got to the hotel in New York City, I face-planted on the bed fully clothed and slept like the dead. In that state, my dreams played in vibrant flashes, flipping between reality and fantasy. At one point Red was on her knees sucking my dick as I leaned over and made out with Tabitha. The part with Red was definitely not real. It was the memory of a floral perfume and red-tinted lips that had me suspecting kissing Tabitha wasn’t fiction.

  Fucking Liam.

  I blamed him for getting so shit-faced I most definitely made some questionable decisions. There were body shots and groping… lots of groping, and I’d definitely been hard most of the night. Those were the things I recalled clearly. I couldn’t tell you where I’d slept or who had gotten me into the car once it arrived for the airport. I think it was Liam. At some point, I did remember hearing him laughing his ass off and wanting to beat the shit out of him. But that could have been a memory from any time I’d been in his company.

  My head felt like cement when I dug my phone out of my pocket to only get a black screen. “Fuck my life,” I grumbled, forced to stand, walk, and painfully search through my luggage for my charging cord. After plugging the phone in, I ambled into the bathroom and stripped to hit the shower.

  With my hand palming the cold tile, I let the warm water soothe away the aches. But I doubted anything could mollify the regrets. For some reason, first and foremost was falling for that redhead to begin with. Sick that I actually regretted it, and as quickly as I had the thought, I knew that wasn’t completely true. And it was that conflicting battle within that created my resentment.

  Where would I be right now if I hadn’t fallen in love with her? Most likely acting in the way she always predicted I would—as a young rock star in demand. Letting those who chased catch me before moving on to the next willing warm pussy.

  Like Tabitha.

  Christ, from the moment I’d me
t her she’d hung on me like a vine. At that point I’d been sober enough to know the chick had an agenda, one that many others surrounding us were willing to slip into if she had left my side for even a minute.

  Yet, as I’d pounded shot after shot, there’d been only one woman I wanted there. It didn’t matter how many lined up for a chance with me—hundreds, maybe thousands of willing bodies I’d one day meet. Knowing I was on the threshold of those auditions to begin with my tour starting, I felt bad for any woman who would even try. The sheer volume of them wouldn’t matter, because replacing her would never happen.

  I knew that. Even in my hungover, pissed-off, resentful, regretful state of mind, I knew Lori Banzini had ruined me for any other. The desire I now carried for that woman clawed through me, leaving angry red gashes around my heart.

  “Goddammit!” I yelled, pounding the unforgiving wall with a fist. Feeling no better after a full twenty minutes, I abandoned the shower and after barely having dried off shuffled back into the bedroom.

  With the heavy drapes drawn, I had no idea it was already nine p.m. when I woke. I had literally slept the entire day away. Part of me felt I’d probably be doing a lot of that, since my upcoming obligation wasn’t until the Galaxy radio interview on Friday. I did have rehearsal some time tomorrow, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember what time.

  Shit, twenty-four hours into my new role of rock star and I’d already slipped into the stereotype seamlessly: hungover and not giving a fuck about anything.