Liner Notes

by Madden, A. M.

  I sat on the edge of the bed, my phone plugged in and lying on the nightstand. Now that it was alive and well, dozens of notifications littered the screen. Twelve missed texts, three missed calls, and one voice mail. Going for the phone app first, my heart pounded when I saw it was from Red.

  “Cannon, it’s me. I know you’re okay. Seth made sure the concierge got you safely in your room. No one blames you for partying so hard, but you really need to be careful of your safety…”

  I tapped the “Pause” button, annoyed at her all-business tone. There was still a full minute left on the message, and I really had no desire to be lectured, especially by her. Leaving it just where it was, I switched to the texts instead.

  Liam wanting to know I was okay, my sisters wishing me luck and asking to let them know once I landed, same for my mom. But it was the text from Krista that caught my attention.

  Hey, Cannon. Not sure if you saw the pics, but not to worry. I have it handled. Enjoy the Big Apple. I’ll touch base with you later.

  I had to love this woman’s optimism. Of all the soldiers in the LRV army, Krista never panicked… unlike that frigid bitch Jen or even Red, for that matter. Krista had attached the picture she’d mentioned to the text: a selfie of Tabitha and me, her lips on my neck and my hand spread in a possessive hold just beneath her boob.

  Great.

  “Well, I may as well continue to play the part everyone expects,” I mumbled before ordering the most expensive meal from room service.

  As I waited, I flipped on the television, plopped on the couch, and stared at the irony that immediately brought me to my knees. On that flat-screen a video clip played where motherfucking prickhead was dressed in a tux, smiling his toothpaste-commercial smile for the cameras while holding the hand of the woman who’d broken my heart. The black gown she wore molded over every inch of her body, her hair was long and loose, and my entire being ached for her.

  She avoided the cameras, her spine as stiff as a board, her face devoid of any emotion. And just before I lifted the remote to click off the TV, she stabbed my heart when those green eyes stared straight at me.

  “Good morning, America! I’m Jett Warner, and in case you’re confused, this is Rock-It Radio. We’re here live this morning from the city that never sleeps with a new rocker blowing up the charts, Cannon Davis.” My nerves got the best of me when Jett looked my way, and I remained dead silent. Not missing a beat, he grinned and winked. “How are you, Cannon?”

  “I’m good. A bit nervous, as you can tell, but excited to be here,” I said, finally finding my voice.

  “We’re thrilled to have you. You’re having quite a debut, I must say. I’ve been in this business for way too many years, and the attention you’ve gained with this album is very impressive.”

  “Thank you, Jett.”

  “Of course, it helps to be backed by LRV. Whatever they touch turns to gold… or platinum, in most cases.”

  “Yes, I’m very lucky to have been signed with them.” Lucky my ass.

  “But having said that, it really falls on you.” Jett lifted my CD, like the listening audience would be able to see it. “The album is simply titled Loose Cannon. Tell me about that.”

  “Well, I’m probably the most laid-back person you’ll ever meet.”

  “So the play on loose isn’t necessarily in the destructive sense.”

  “No, just the opposite,” I lied, because after my exit from LA, I wasn’t so sure anymore. It did feel like I was literally a ticking time bomb.

  “Clever. Let’s discuss your title track, ‘Better.’ Jack Lair plays background guitar, and along with those lyrics, it’s a pretty special song. Tell me about the message there.”

  Fuck.

  “Well, the song is probably the most personal one I’d ever written. My goal was to translate emotions and vulnerabilities that dated back to my childhood. I always felt there was better out there than me.”

  “Interesting,” Jett said contemplatively. “Surely you must have settled those demons by now.”

  Yeah, no. “I’m working on it, man.”

  “Glad to hear it. I’ve been in this industry for a long time, and each and every artist I’ve met and interviewed has impressed me in one way or another. I have to say, dude, you rank right up there for me in the most talented.”

  “Wow. That’s quite a compliment. Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome. I truly believe you don’t just play the music… you become it. That’s hard to do.”

  “Thank you,” I repeated, feeling humble and not worthy. I just wrote and played what I felt, and it seemed deceiving to a degree.

  The questions continued, most of them benign and right out of the textbook for someone touring across the country for the first time. What did I most look forward to? What city was I most afraid to play?

  After a few minutes, just as I relaxed a bit, he dove into more tumultuous waters. “Let’s talk liner notes. Back in the day, they made it possible for artists to offer fans a window into their souls, so to speak. My generation grew up anticipating an album, desperate to play every song from start to finish, and then to read those liner notes like they held all the secrets we needed to know. As many young musicians who release music today, I noticed you don’t have liner notes written for the album. I ask this of every artist I interview. Why not?”

  Shit, this man wasn’t making it easy for me. I’d been prepared with the possible questions I’d be asked, but I felt like LRV had thrown me out into those deep seas without a life preserver. This whole thing with Lori had left me feeling stranded in more ways than one.

  I glanced through the glass partition to where Seth sat like an eager beaver. With this move I was about to make, I’d either piss people off or make a mark. But what I was about to do had to be done, and it was too late to abandon my purpose.

  Fuck, what would they do, fire me?

  Dragging in a deep sigh, I smiled at him and shrugged. “Well… I didn’t think a few lines of text could do justice to why I wrote these songs as I had. I thought about it last night, as I mentally prepped to be here. From the start, each song transitioned just as I had during this journey. And with my growth came knowledge and an acceptance that everything leading to this point in my life happened for a reason. However, as profound as each track was when I created it in that moment in time, now it is merely water under the bridge for me. Am I making sense?”

  “Yes, I’m following.”

  “So to commit to a paragraph or two of how I felt before the journey would be like trying to predict winning lottery numbers. Six months ago, anything I’d have to say would no longer be relevant because I’ve moved on. Therefore, instead of voicing my emotions at the beginning of the journey, I decided to write a song that hopefully will give my fans the gist of Loose Cannon from where I stand now.”

  “You wrote a new song? Are you saying this will be a debut of sorts?”

  “Yep. Never played before. Ironically, it’s called ‘Liner Notes,’ and if you are game, I’d love to play it live.”

  The way Seth’s eyes widened made him look like a caricature of himself. Ignoring him, I grabbed my guitar from where it rested against the wall and waited for Jett to give the okay. Predictably, he grinned and clapped before saying, “Galaxy listeners, you are in for quite a treat. Here is Cannon Davis debuting his new song, ‘Liner Notes.’” Jett lifted his palm up and added, “Whenever you’re ready, Cannon.”

  I focused on the strings and strummed the opening notes with ease. Despite how fresh in my mind the notes and lyrics were, having just created them the night before, I could play this song in my sleep. It was part of me. My mind drifted to sitting in my hotel room, alone in the dark, and finally listening to the rest of Lori’s message.

  You deserve the best in life.

  I want you to have that.

  You need to move on, Cannon.

  Not only was she fucking wrong that she deserved better, but completely ignoring my pathetic confessi
on via text meant she obviously had taken her own advice and moved on herself.

  In the only way I knew how, I had argued her points through my music. Once it was done, I’d thought long and hard over the final message. Regardless of all the anger I held, the resentment and regret, I couldn’t shut down my heart.

  The intro to the song was just that, the reason I felt compelled to spill my guts on a satellite radio station with millions listening without the approval of my record label. It was throwing caution to the wind both professionally and personally… yet I didn’t give a fuck.

  It was telling my truth… liner notes from my heart.

  Who could have predicted you’d walk into my life?

  Ruined me in the best and worst of ways… changed me forever?

  But how can I compete with the frivolous gifts and exotic destinations he dangles in your face?

  I shouldn’t even have the balls to try.

  All I can give you are words, notes, and melodies.

  Like the songs recorded on this album, some of which were created because of you.

  You already have my heart.

  Does he have yours?

  He may be perfect on paper.

  Cookie-cutter. Clean. Neat. Stable.

  I’m anything but those things.

  With me, you’ll get messy and dirty.

  The ride will be tumultuous and chaotic.

  But I can guarantee you one thing:

  Our life together would be epic.

  The words poured out, swaying with the notes and creating an intimate dance for all to see. I went on to plead my case, convince her what we had was worth any risk. During the song, I didn’t dare look up at Jett, or at Seth, or at the others who’d gathered outside the studio wanting a front-row seat to my angst.

  I simply played the song to the end, and once silence replaced the confession I’d just sung, I knew there was no going back. The world now knew my deepest, darkest secret.

  A redhead whom I’d chased like a fool and caught like a rock star… only to lose her.

  Chapter 35

  Lori

  Who could have predicted you’d walk into my life?

  Ruined me in the best and worst of ways… changed me forever?

  But how can I compete with the frivolous gifts and exotic destinations he dangles in your face?

  I shouldn’t even have the balls to try.

  All I can give you are words, notes, and melodies.

  Like the songs recorded on this album, some of which were created because of you.

  You already have my heart.

  Does he have yours?

  He may be perfect on paper.

  Cookie-cutter. Clean. Neat. Stable.

  I’m anything but those things.

  With me, you’ll get messy and dirty.

  The ride will be tumultuous and chaotic.

  But I can guarantee you one thing:

  Our life together would be epic.

  I sat stunned, listening to the man I loved pouring out his soul for all to hear. With each declaration, I resented Jen, and more so myself for proving her right. Because not only had I fallen for him when I was determined not to, I’d fallen harder than I’d ever fallen in my past. Which made it that much worse and made me look that much more predictable to my tight-ass boss.

  And even after having thought that, unless I continued to live in denial, then I knew there wasn’t any way to have stopped Cannon and me from coming together. Eventually, he would’ve worn me down just as he had—and would continue to just as he had while on that radio program.

  The melody he’d created could bring tears to your eyes even without the lyrics, and his heartfelt words caused my own tears to roll relentlessly.

  No sooner had Cannon stopped singing than I received a text from Seth.

  Are you listening? What just happened? He went totally off script.

  Yes. Let him be. But make sure his security team goes wherever he does.

  I’ll try. He can be very difficult.

  Be more difficult.

  Seriously, the guy had to grow a set. There was a small crowd waiting for Cannon outside the station when he and Seth had arrived. Seth hadn’t been able to stop Cannon from greeting them while getting way too close. That had been the first of many texts, and by the twelfth I’d forced myself to hide my phone in a drawer to avoid typing some choice words to my inadequate replacement. And now, because of Cannon’s impromptu on-air love letter, it was very possible the crowd had grown, and I had no faith Seth could handle it.

  After the last chord was strummed, a slow, methodical clapping came over the radio. “Wow… those are some profound liner notes, Cannon,” Jett said. “Dare I ask who this song was written for?”

  A pregnant pause created a large pocket of dead air, something that was usually a no no in the broadcasting world. But now it resulted in titillating intrigue. And just when I thought Jett would interrupt to fill the void, Cannon said, “She knows who she is.”

  The interview came to a close, but I hadn’t moved from where I had listened from the couch for a solid hour.

  Besides the sadness Cannon spurred within me, a feverish blast of determination dominated. Never had I loved a man like I loved Cannon. Never had I felt being without him would be worse than any hell being together could muster.

  I had no doubt that he’d seen Oliver and me all over the entertainment sites last night. Jen had insisted I accompany him, claiming Louis would be pleased to see his friend happy. Oliver had given Louis the impression he’d been pursuing me, and according to Jen it wasn’t a bad idea to enjoy the limelight of Oliver’s world.

  “It’d be great to be connected to such a powerful man.”

  While seething over her gall, I’d nodded and smiled as Leila’s advice to play along and do my job acted as an antidote for the poisonous gases that came from Jen Baxter. Not only wouldn’t I allow her to keep me from something I deserved, something I now knew would be my future, I wouldn’t give her the power to pimp me out as she saw fit. Connecting me to Oliver would benefit Jen in so many ways, and she could go fuck herself if she thought she’d won this battle.

  Just as I picked up my phone to call Leila, an incoming call meant my friend had been listening.

  “Hey,” I said solemnly. “You heard?”

  “Oh yeah. Jack and I both heard. You okay?”

  “No. I’m not. Last night, I did as you said and played along. God, I hated being with Oliver in such a public way. It made me feel so…” I couldn’t even get the word out.

  “You’re playing her game, that’s all.”

  “Well, I hope by doing so it didn’t fuck things up more. I know Cannon saw me at the awards last night. Why did I give in to Jen and go to that damn thing with Oliver? Granted, he had been the perfect gentleman, practically walking on eggshells with me. But the way he’d taken my hand as we exited his limo had sent one very damning message to anyone watching. And based on Cannon’s interview, there wasn’t a doubt he’d seen us on that red-fucking-carpet. That’s most definitely why he sang that song.”

  “And that song was a definite message he’s not giving up, Lor.”

  “Or it’s an apology that he already did. A few days ago, after he left LA, he sent me a horrible text. Understandably, he went overboard at a party his friend Liam threw. Cannon said something about fucking up because I left him. I can only assume what he did, and I can’t blame him if it’s as bad as my mind is imagining.”

  “Don’t you remember what happened when I broke up with Jack for those few awful days? I destroyed him, and he tried to destroy the memory of us by being with that skank.”

  “Yeah, I remember.” God, Leila had been so distraught, but not at what he’d done. She had been upset with herself for being the cause of what he’d done. Because she needed his crazy ex to believe they were broken up, she’d done just that and made a public show of it. The man had lost it, gotten rip-roaring drunk, and ended up spending the night with some groupie. �
��Jack didn’t have sex with her,” I reminded. “I have a feeling that—”

  “Stop.” She was quick to cut me off. “You don’t know that, Lori. And whatever happened, you’ll deal with that later. If I learned one thing since being with Jack, it was not to let anyone influence our relationship ever again.”

  “I’m living it firsthand myself.”

  “The most important thing is to fix what’s broken and never doubt each other. It isn’t easy to get there, but once you do you need to make it your most cardinal rule.”

  “Unless he realized I was right all along and that getting involved with me isn’t worth it. For all I know, he decided that fame needs to be experienced to the fullest. And maybe I no longer fit in his scenario… especially if he thinks I moved on so quickly. Jen had to have known the effects of her actions.”

  “Uh, yeah… because that’s what Jen does. She calculates, plans, and then spins things to make it look like what she asks is for your benefit, when the truth is, it’s all about her agenda.”

  “Well, one point for her, because she found a stupid sap like me to do just that.”

  “Not anymore,” Leila said venomously. “Like I said, the most important thing is to fix your relationship with Cannon.”

  “That doesn’t seem possible when Jen is watching my every move like a hawk.”

  “That’s the other thing I need to tell you. I had planned to call you in a few days because I didn’t want to get your hopes up. But after hearing Cannon pour his heart out like that, you need to know what we’re planning to do.”

  My breath hitched with optimism. “What?”

  “Jack and I are starting our own label. We talked about it before, but now it’s something we are absolutely ready for. We’re done with Jen manipulating circumstances. We will always appreciate how hard she worked to get us where we are now, but we also have made her a very rich woman. Our debt has been paid. It’s time to control our future on our terms.”

  “That’s amazing news, Lei.”

  “That’s not all. Our first client will be Cannon Davis. After he finishes his tour, he will terminate with LRV and sign with JLL Productions. You will be his agent, working for us. As soon as our lawyers draw up the paperwork, we’d like you to quit LRV and come on board. It shouldn’t be more than a few weeks. Then you can join him as his girlfriend and not his agent. There isn’t a thing LRV, or Jen, can do to stop you.”