by Hollye Davis
“I agree women all around would be happy but I am far too selfish to share him, even if it’s only a clone.” Cloe straightened trying to be brave and mature about the next part. It was a big decision that she had made.
“Aunt, that’s not all. I…” She turned bright red. “You know what we were just talking about a few minutes ago? Well I want to ….ummm. This is very hard for me.” Cloe looked very worriedly at her aunt.
Aunt laughed, “Go on, I won’t judge.”
“Oh I know you won’t. It is just embarrassing that’s all. The thing is that I DO want to take Edwin’s and my relationship to the next level and I need advice.”
“Oh, well, I am not …um, yeah,” her aunt was clearly flustered.
“Well I didn’t mean tonight Aunt so think about it. Another small thing…I umm, I would like to go to a clinic and get some protection and birth control pills.”
Aunt just sat there stunned. Cloe didn’t understand it. She already thought they were having sex, why would wanting to be prepared shock her so? As she usual her aunt answered her unspoken question.
“I think it was easier to imagine you MIGHT be having sex then actually hearing that you are planning on having sex.” She turned Cloe, grasping both hands into hers, “Honey, I won’t say don’t take this lightly because you don’t take anything lightly and it’s obvious you put a lot of thought in the matter. So what I will say is just be very careful because when you open this side of you up, it is irreversible and very emotional. It’s not something you can forget about or throw away. It’s with you forever when you share that part of yourself with a man. I know you love Edwin. I can tell he loves you most passionately. But I worry about the two of you. You’re both so serious and young but somehow broken. Edwin seems to need you as much as you need him and that can lead to heartbreak when the need is too great. Not to mention that you are so young. You can only give your virginity to one man. Make sure you truly know the man you are given your body too. This decision is HUGE and you need to really make sure you are making the right decision. As far as the clinic situation, that is way past due and should be done regardless. I need you to know, whatever you do or decide, as long as it is legal,” she raised her eyebrows as if to emphasize that point, “I will support you in any way I can.”
“I love you Aunt Claire.” She reached over and gave her a big hug. Her aunt sniffed a bit and looked away then back at Cloe, her eyes were filled with tears when she said, “Oh Cloe, you have no idea how much that means to me. I’m so glad I found you.”
After their conversation Cloe noticed Aunt seemed preoccupied. Cloe didn’t want to pressure her to talk so she went on to the fire.
The fire became my salvation. It burned away all the day’s activities leaving nothing but carefree happiness. It was magical and I understood why my friends were drawn to it. We were able to be ourselves without any condemnation. We talked about nonsensical things that never amounted to anything but meant everything to me. —Cloe’s Diary
Chapter 18 The next level When she arrived at the fire everyone seemed in high spirits. Her good mood elevated further with everyone’s welcoming faces. Before she sat down, she glanced coyly at Edwin. He patted the sand next to him for her to sit.
The previous nights at the fire, they had continued to downplay the seriousness of their relationship from the others. She suppose by silent agreement they agreed their relationship was private and theirs. Tonight was different though. Something fundamental had changed between them.
Edwin immediately pulled her closer when she sat next to him, his arms enclosing her in a warm embrace. She leaned into him and he kissed the top of her head.
Everyone was a little taken back by their display. But it was Sandra who voiced it. “Cloe what is this?” She leaned over to get a closer look at her necklace, and then she reached over and flipped it over. Sandra suddenly pulled back with a shocked expression on her face, “How long?”
Cloe bent back and looked up at Edwin as he answered, “A while.”
Sandra blew out a breath and said, “I just KNEW it! You guys are like reading a stonewall but I just KNEW it. I mean I knew Edwin had a thing for you Cloe from the very moment he met you. It’s so obvious. But you’re a tough cookie to crack and so quiet!”
Cloe and Edwin exchanged smiles. Sandra then said in a loud voice, “Those two there,” pointing at us, “have hoodwinked us all, dating they are and for ‘a while,’” mimicking Edwin’s British accent. Cloe laughed along with everyone but when she looked at Christoph he was not smiling, he was watching her intently. Then he turned his head in the direction of the ocean.
Everyone exclaimed, “About time.” After a few minutes had passed, Christoph good naturally hit Edwin in the shoulder and said, “You owe me one.”
Her friends were so supported, so later she asked Edwin why they hadn’t told them sooner.
He simply stated, “The time wasn’t right.”
She knew he was right. They needed to know where they stood before bringing their friends into it. Friends can add complications and they were able to establish a foundation before adding in the complications.
Edwin accompanied her to her room as usual however he didn’t leave right away. He must have felt the same clinginess that she felt or maybe he just sensed she needed him more tonight. Whatever the reason, she was glad. He sat down on the bed and patted her closer.
As soon as she sat down he pulled her to him and kissed her urgently. It was wonderful, indescribable. Feelings surged through her in tidal waves, tossing through her body until she feared she would never emerge. She rested her hands on his chest initially but when he deepened the kiss, showing no signs of stopping, she reached around his back, bringing her chest flush against his, running her hands underneath his shirt, desperate for his skin. He laid her down, his body draped carefully over hers, his hands exploring the exposed skin where her shirt met her shorts. His finger tips sending more sensations through her nerve endings. His tongue delved into her mouth, her breathing erratic as his hands traveled under her shirt further up her torso. When his fingers brushed underneath her bra and she thought she was going to explode. She arched her back begging him to take it further, practically thrashing with the need for him to touch her there, to feel her.
But he stopped. He put his forehead against hers, his breath coming in short gasps, as if he had run a marathon, “I have to stop, you understand, or there will be no stopping.” “Maybe I don’t want to stop,” She said saucily.
He sucked in his breath muttering, “Good lord.” His body instantly tense. She simply smiled innocently at him, feeling happily, lazily drugged.
He kissed her nose and rolled off of her,and disappointment laced through her.
“Are you sure?” he asked hoarsely looking at the ceiling.
“Yes,” Then she remembered she hadn’t made it to the clinic yet, “but I don’t have any… ummm,” she was so uncool, she wanted to have sex with Edwin but she couldn’t discuss protection? She squeezed her eyes shut, “I,ummm, I don’t have any protection,” her cheeks burned.
His gaze was locked to the ceiling for a minute and doubts began to plague her. He didn’t want to sleep with her. It was probably too complicated. She was probably too complicated and he didn’t want to take their relationship to the next level. She was undesirable, he loved her, yes, but he didn’t want to do that with her. The more she thought the more miserable she became.
He finally broke the death stare, turned toward her, his eyes still burning with passion, “I can’t believe you tell me you are ready and neither one of us is prepared.”
“Oh,” She said disappointingly but slightly relieved it wasn’t something else, “Some risks are just too great.”
Edwin reached over and placed his arm around her middle, “I love you and I want this to be right between us.” She curled into him.
It felt perfect and she felt complete for once. He was right. Together they were complete, apart they were broken, w
ell at least she was. Edwin was perfect. On that thought she fell asleep.
Security was a commodity I was not familiar with. When I was presented it, I balked like a spooked horse and was slow to adapt. For years I had fought my insecurities, but now I am realizing it is easy to accept security. – Cloe’s diary.
Chapter 19 Shopping AGAIN?! The next thing she remembered was the sun blazing through her glass doors reflecting off the ocean water. She was very warm and secure. Holding very still, it took her a moment to identify the source of the heat was someone else, startled she snapped open her eyes to find Edwin smiling sleepily next to her. She rubbed her eyes, blinking making sure she wasn’t mistaken. But he was still there, still smiling.
“Are you going to get in trouble?” she whispered, “Do you have anywhere you need to be?”
“No,” he stretched languidly, “I like this,” he added gesturing to them.
“Me too,” she snuggled closer.
They stayed in bed until her stomach made a very unladylike noise.
He laughed huskily as he nestled into her neck, “I suppose we must get up sometime.”
Reluctantly she rose out of bed to the shower. He watched as if he wanted an invitation. She rolled her eyes and locked the bathroom door. Better safe than sorry.
Done with her shower, she found Edwin in the kitchen fiddling with the coffee pot. He looked sexy and beautiful with his bare chest and shorts low on his hips. A shot of what she feared was solid lust strummed through her body.
“Geez, that should be illegal,” her aunt said referring to the mega hot guy in the kitchen. Cloe jolted slightly at her comment. They both giggled like 13-years-old girls. “Hallo, Ms. Clair, I hope you don’t mind her making a bit of your coffee,” Edwin said looking disgustedly at the coffee pot, “That is If I can figure it out.” Aunt giggled and said, “No, no, I don’t mind but let me at it. I have particular tastes when it comes to coffee and since my niece doesn’t drink it I can only rely on my skills to get it done.”
“Yeah, her tastes run toward solid sludge so watch out,” Cloe said. It earned her a goodnatured glare from Aunt.
Edwin was happy to oblige as she stood back
“So…umm, did you sleep well?” Aunt asked.
Cloe snorted. Geez what a lame question! Rolling her eyes, Cloe answered, “Don’t worry Aunt, nothing happened last night.” Then she gave her aunt a peck on the check. A little sugar coating goes a long way when you know you’re trying to get away with something.
Edwin left the room to give them some privacy. Either that or he was afraid of what her aunt would do to him. Coward.
“I should be shot allowing you guys to sleep under my roof,” Aunt commented as she watched the coffee pot drip slowly, “It’s wrong and I should probably be deemed the worst guardian in the world, but for some reason I can’t deny you this. I understand it and it may end in disaster, but I know that you need someone to love you and be there for you where I can’t. I understand that need more than most. It would be different if I didn’t think Edwin loved you and you were being irresponsible.” Aunt turned around from the coffee to give her a soft smile before continuing, “Besides, I remember what it’s like to be a teenager and it wouldn’t matter what I said or forbid. I’m gone too much and you would do it anyway. At least this way I at least know what is going on in my own house. I also know you will be careful and do the right thing,” Her aunt pointedly looked at her. Cloe nodded, she will be careful when something did happen between Edwin and her. Aunt, satisfied with her little lecture, patted Cloe’s cheek. She liked the pat. It felt motherly.
Turning to start breakfast, Cloe talked while setting a pan on the burner, “Thank you Aunt, but honestly nothing happened last night.” Aunt smiled disbelievingly but didn’t argue.
She made them breakfast while Edwin sat at the table and watched her. She would send him small smiles as she prepared what she called “potato surprise.” She took mashed potatoes from a previous meal and refried them adding cheese, eggs, green onions, tomatoes. It was her favorite breakfast dish and wholly unhealthy.
While flipping the potatoes over Edwin came up behind her and kissed her neck, she tilted her head to the side allowing him access. He wrapped his arms around while whispering in her ear, “I love you.”
It sent such delicious chills through her she released the spatula to drop wherever, turned in his arms, and kissed him senseless. That was until she smelled her potatoes burning. Quickly turning around she found some of them got overcooked. She quickly removed the potatoes to a cooler burner and bent to pick up the spatula. With her head down she stepped around Edwin and took it to the sink to rinse it.
Memories of her father slapping her repeatedly after she burnt a dinner came rushing back to her. It hadn’t been her fault, the oven had been faulty, but that didn’t matter to him. He had knocked her to the ground, forcing her to eat the half raw, half burnt casserole.
She reached up and wiped a tear from her eye as she scrubbed the spatula over and over again trembling. Even though it was unreasonable the fear of retribution was still engrained in her. Rationally she knew that Edwin would never hit her, but emotionally it was impossible to get over.
She had to force herself not flinch when Edwin put his hand on her right arm.
“I think it is clean enough darling,” he said softly. She turned her head up to gaze in his eyes. Extending his index finger he brushed off another tear that had escaped and smiled. “I would say sorry, but I am not, I just can’t apologize for kissing you, ever,” He said. He pulled her in his arms, “Who needs breakfast when I have you,” he kissed another escaped tear.
Shaking her head, laughing dryly, she said lightly, “Well it teaches me a lesson. I can’t cook and kiss at the same time.”
In the past she would have berated herself for being so very stupid, apologized repeatedly but with Edwin she didn’t want to. She wanted to be better, stronger for him.
After breakfast Edwin made a few phone calls, which she assumed was to his father or friends. She didn’t care, as long as she could have Edwin for the day.
Her aunt had not gone into work yet which was rare. Maybe her aunt felt she needed a day at home to chaperone them, but whatever the reason Cloe enjoyed having her favorite two people with her for the day. They had all settled down in the living room and were reading books when the doorbell rang causing Cloe to nearly jumped out of her skin, which amused Edwin.
The doorbell rarely rang at the cottage and therefore they never expected anyone, ever. It was the beauty of living in a closed community.
Edwin snuggled into her as her aunt got up to answer it, a few seconds later Sandra came strolling in.
“I knew I would find you here Edwin. You’re so predictable.”
He rolled his eyes.
For some reason that statement didn’t sit well with Cloe. It felt like a familiarity with Edwin that she had yet to learn. Cloe forced the jealousy down to her stomach.
Sandra continued, “Don’t get your underwear bunched up Edwin I’m not here for you. I’m here for Cloe. We’re going shopping!”
Huh? No one mentioned this to her. She looked around panicked to see if anyone knew of this but her aunt merely looked interested and Edwin had a vaguely bored expression.
“School is starting soon and I thought a few new clothes are warranted,” Sandra continued.
A sharp stab of pain penetrated her stomach, Oh yeah, school was starting next week – joy. She’d forgotten. She slumped deeper into the cushions of her couch.
Her aunt had the exact opposite reaction. She was so excited by the prospect that she ran from the room, returning seconds later she thrust her a credit card at Cloe. “Spend away honey!”
Cloe stared at her aunt’s outstretched hand wondering if she was joking, then her gaze sifted to her aunt who wiggled the card in front of her nose, then at Sandra who nodded encouragingly and then finally at Edwin who was fighting a smile.
Cloe started shaking her
head “I don’t think…” but aunt interrupted her “Oh honey don’t think, just spend.” and with that aunt grabbed her hand and placed the card in it.
Edwin stood up and said, “I need to head home anyway to bathe. I will see you back here later tonight.” He bent down, kissed her stunned lips and departed.
Her aunt walked off, “I do have some work I have to get done,” and she, too, abandoned her to Sandra, who was smiling smugly.
She felt manipulated.
Before they left Sandra covered her beautiful red hair with a fashionable scarf and slid on big dark glasses. She explained, “I’m known through some of these shops and they try to get away with charging me too much. I think this way we can get some good deals!” Since Cloe was a complete shopping idiot, she trusted Sandra knew what she was talking about.
My feet hurt, my legs hurt, my fingernails hurt, yet Sandra continued on her quest for school clothes. I had thought my aunt knew how to shop but she was pure amateur compared to Sandra. The girl was a shopping machine and I felt dizzy and exhausted within the first few shops. However I kept going like some deranged drug addict searching for my next fix. It was crazy. - Cloe’s Diary
Chapter 20 Amateur Sometimes she swore that people would look closely at Sandra as if they wanted to say something or knew her, but like Edwin whenever a question was about to be asked Sandra would move on quickly. It seemed one thing they had in common, they really didn’t like people. It was strange but as usual Cloe put it out of her mind.
After lunch, at a darkly lit remote café, Sandra took her to an interesting stucco building that was elegant and expensive. She tilted her head back to admire the domed entry way as a footman opened the doors for Sandra them to walk through. When her eyes adjusted from the outside bright California sun, the inside was stunning, grand, with tall ceilings and marble columns. Their footsteps echoed as they walked to the only thing in the room, a single desk positioned toward the back.
The best description she could come up with for the lady who sat behind it was that she was beautifully maintained, almost as if she was made of plastic. Cloe felt completely out of place, cheap and tawdry.