Sand dollar

by Hollye Davis

  Aunt gestured for them to follow her to the little sports car where she placed beach towels on the soft cream leather seats for them to sit.

  A distance from the school, Aunt explained, “He was going to give you two In School Suspension but I convinced him that wouldn’t be a smart choice,” aunt gripped the steering wheel tightly as she continued to explain, “The jerk didn’t believe that Britney had anything to do with it. She evidently has a golden reputation and her father was responsible for donating their new stadium to be built this summer.” Aunt spared a quick knowing glance at Cloe, “That, my dear, makes her very dangerous.”

  Cloe knew Britney was dangerous purely because the girl was used to getting her way and she wouldn’t quit until she did. But to have that type of money pouring into the school was beyond Cloe’s comprehension. It was a whole another level of danger.

  The sad thing is that Cloe was sure Britney’s parents thought their daughter’s tenaciousness was great, but when you add an overindulged child on that, all you create was a monster. Her parents are going to have their hands full when Britney finds out the real world doesn’t work like high school. At least those thoughts gave Cloe comfort.

  As they drove on the open highway, Cloe glanced in the back seat to see Kim watching the traffic out the window. For once she did have some positive come out of school. It felt good to have a friend like Kim who was willing to get in trouble to defend her. And although Jody is practically scared of her shadow, she didn’t shun her from sitting with Cloe or talking to her. That meant a lot. In the past the few friends she made would fall off once the harassment started. The fact these two girls didn’t gave her hope that things were going to get easier.

  Aunt dropped Kim off in a hidden trailer community near her cottage. The singlewide looked like it had seen better years as they watched Kim climb its steps and disappear inside. Cloe was beginning to understand her better. It was obvious that they shared similar struggles.

  It was barely a mile before the gates to the community came in sight. Aunt pulled in to the driveway and they made their way inside.

  It was too early for Edwin to be at home so she went to her room and showered. Afterward, she pretreated her laundry and walked back to living room to do some homework. She called Jody hoping she would get her homework for the last few classes of the day.

  “I thought you guys got kicked out of school when you didn’t come back” Jody said.

  “Nothing like that, all we got was a day off,” she explained finding Jody’s drama amusing.

  “I’m glad you can laugh about it, I have been feeling sorry for myself thinking I lost the only two people who would talk to me.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll be back, unfortunately.”

  “I’ve got to run, I’ll call you later with the homework assignments.”

  “Thanks Jody, I owe you.”

  Cloe settled deeper into the couch reading an assigned book for her AP English lit class when Edwin walked in. He glanced at his watch and stated the obvious “You’re early.”

  She smiled at him mischievously and said “Yep, they sent me home early for fighting.” She wished she had her cell phone handy to take a picture for his expression was priceless. Patting the seat next to her, she began to tell him how it was really Kim that was defending her that got into the fight. She thought he would be amused but instead Edwin looked so very worried.

  “This Britney sounds like a bitch but what’s worse is that she sounds like she has a lot of support behind her. I don’t understand why the school lets her behave this way.”

  “Like everything else in the world, school is a business. Without money it would cease to exist or it would exist very poorly. Therefore they tolerate these kids, who are usually brats, in order to save their bottom line. Unfortunately it’s often at the expense of the other children who just want to get an education.”

  He looked at her and smiled. “Have I ever told you that the way you think is really neat? Most people would just say, ‘I don’t know why Britney gets away with what she does, I guess they’re idiots.’” He said that last part with a very convincing American accent, it shocked her, he sounded different.

  Se cocked her head, “Wow you are really good at that American accent, if I tried to sound British I am sure you would be rolling on the ground laughing at me.”

  He looked uncomfortable and then said, “well…uhh….when you live somewhere long enough you begin to figure out how to sound like them.” He shrugged and changed the subject. “Tonight our friends are coming over.”

  “Oh, I miss them!!” She could forget about school for a few hours at least. He smiled at her, reached over and kissed her lips tenderly, “I know you do.”

  Right before the sun dipped into the ocean, Edwin went ahead to start the fire while she finished up her homework. The fire blazing brightly bringing a smile to her face when she arrived. It had been too long.

  She rushed down the steps her toes sinking into the soft sand when she noticed two silhouettes arguing quite forcefully. She stopped to listen.

  “You have to stop this Edwin it’s only going to cause hurt! You’re going to mess everything up and I am afraid you won’t survive!”

  “Leave it alone Christoph, it is none of your business,” Edwin’s voice was calm but strained.

  “Hell it is, I love her too, we all do, and we don’t want to see anyone hurt. You’re playing a dangerous game with someone I don’t want to see damaged anymore than she already is.”

  Cloe gasped when Edwin grabbed Christoph’s shirt.

  “It’s her decision and you’ll leave it at that.”

  “You aren’t the only one involved you know.”

  In a deadly voice that she had never heard Edwin before use, “You keep your distance Christoph, we have talked about this.”

  “You don’t own her Edwin.”

  Sandra saw her and hollered “Boys, chill out your play acting, Cloe’s going to get the wrong impression.” Both of them relaxed their combative stance and stepped away. If that were play-acting she would hate to see the real thing.

  Stepping toward the fire she debated on asking what the “play acting” was about but she was too exhausted to deal with any more drama. She would try to remember to ask tomorrow. Right now she just wanted to enjoy the night with her friends.

  Edwin was tense all night but he put on a show of being unaffected.Her stomach hurt but that too she ignored. When the music was turned on she was so thankful for a diversion that she nearly cried.

  Even with the music playing and them dancing, Edwin was still tense, and he was being very possessive and protective. She wished she was brave enough to ask what was bothering him, but as usual she was scared.

  It got worse afterword. Edwin didn’t spend the night for the first time in a very long time making some excuse about having to meet his father to discuss the trip.

  She didn’t sleep fearful he was avoiding her. He was hiding something and she didn’t know if she could handle it.

  The constant noise from the waves were even getting me. Crash, crash, crash. Does it ever stop? I tried walking inside, closing all the doors to shut out the never ending roar but then the clock tick seemed louder. Tic, tic, tic. So I dismantled the clock satisfied to have peace but the quietness felt loud. The low hum of the refrigerator, the click and soft woosh of the air conditioning, won’t it go away? Can’t I escape this? Why hasn’t Edwin called me? –Cloe’s Diary

  Chapter 3 Tension Since she didn’t sleep the night before, school was even more unbearable than usual. She fell asleep in study hall and got written up for it. Her second period teacher yelled at her for dropping her book, her classmates sneered and taunted.

  To say her first week of school was not going well at all and her home life was worrying her was an understatement. Everything felt precarious and she didn’t know what to do or how to ask for help.

  The only bright spot was that Britney must have been occupied with some sort of cheerlead
ing thing because her and her cronies were nowhere to be seen.

  She and Kim sat together on the bus that bumped a long without too many words spoken between them. It was by mutual consensus that their life sucked at the moment and they really didn’t want to discuss why.

  Edwin greeted her at the cottage but it without his usual charm. He was distracted. She didn’t push but went to her bedroom to change.

  As she slid on her jeans she wondered what his father did that required so much of Edwin’s time and why was Edwin being secretive? What was that argument with Christoph about last night? She got irritated from the lack of answers but she was still afraid to broach a subject that may cause an argument. She decided small steps would be easier, one question at a time.

  Her stomach was upset asking any question but she pressed on. She needed to know something. She walked back out into the living room to find Edwin watching the ocean.

  She sat next to him, “How’s home?” That was a good question, she thought, easy to answer.

  Edwin turned toward her, looking confused for a moment. When his expression cleared, as if he remembered that he had a home he answered simply.

  “Good.”

  Not a great answer. She will try again, “Anything interesting happen?”

  “No.”

  She was getting irritated and tired of Edwin being evasive so she said snappishly, “Do you do anything interesting outside of here?”

  And that was all it took for Edwin to snap.

  “What’s with the twenty questions?! Do I have to come home and have you question me too? God won’t everybody leave me the hell alone!”

  It was the first time Edwin ever yelled at her, but it just confirmed what her father beat into her. Questions lead to unhappiness. Tears welled up in her eyes. She wanted to run but she didn’t know where she was going. Finally she stumbled out of the room to her room even though it offered no sanctity. She curled into a ball in the middle of her bed, something she hadn’t done since Germany.

  Edwin followed her into her room a moment later. When he saw her curled in the fetal position, he cursed. When she felt the bed dip, she knew he was making his way to her.

  “I’m sorry Cloe. I’m really sorry,” he said softly. She stiffened slightly when he placed his hand lightly on her hip.

  “I’ve had a bad day. My father’s been on to me about some obligations and I found out today that I’m leaving tomorrow for England.”

  She gasped and sat up, turning toward him.

  “No,” she shook her head and grabbed his shirt with her fists, “NO,” she said more forcefully.

  He closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. He looked like he didn’t get much sleep last night either. He looked pained.

  “Yes, I’m afraid so.”

  Her heart shattered. Barely able to choke it out she asked, “Are you breaking up with me?”

  His eyes registered shock and he grabbed her arm still attached to his shirt,

  “Hell no, don’t ever say that or THINK that. I’m coming back as soon as it’s humanly possible and don’t think for a minute that I’ll ever let you go.”

  Yeah right, he was going back home, he‘ll never miss her. She searched his eyes for the truth, trying to see past the lies.

  “Are you sure? You might go away and find that I’m not at all what you need or want….” She stopped then, ashamed at herself for being so pitiful.

  “Why do you ask, are you wanting to break up with me?” he asked with a degree of alarm to his voice.

  She laughed but it was harsh and held no humor. “Are you insane? I’m afraid that if it was my choice you would never leave my side.”

  She sighed, tears fresh in her eyes, “There’s no need to discuss this now, what will happen…will happen. I know you have your obligations,” she said obligations as if it was a dirty word, “and there is nothing we can do about it. Let’s not spend tonight fighting. It will be our last night for a while.” At that her heart squeezed painfully and her eyes filled up further with tears. His eyes reflected the same pain. They didn’t say that much that night. Edwin was upset he didn’t have enough time to arrange things at her school properly before he left, she was upset because he was leaving. She assured him that she would be fine, he assured her that he would back. They were empty promises but she refused to dwell on it.

  When morning came she held him tightly to the very last minute, tears still glistened in her eyes when she left the house and walked to her bus stop. She couldn’t believe Edwin wouldn’t be waiting for her when she got home - she wanted to throw up.

  Her safety net was just snatched from underneath her.

  I sit in my lonely bed late at night cold. Everything is empty without him here. I smell him, I imagine his voice, I imagine his touch but they are only thoughts. Worthless pitiful thoughts that consume me like a flesh-eating disease. –Cloe’s diary

  Chapter 4

  Unexpected Ally The bus was rambunctious as usual. She wasn’t in the mood to be surrounded around a bunch of babies who actually enjoyed going to school. Kim seemed to feel the same way as they both rode silently when all of sudden her phone rang. It caused both them to jump.

  She recognized the number and answered immediately.

  “Hallo sweetheart, I’m in a hurry but I wanted you to know that I left you something in your backpack. I’m on the way to the airport. I’ll call you when I can, I Love you,” he sighed, “Cloe, I love you so much I don’t know how I am going to survive the next month. Please forgive me for leaving you, this will be the only time, I promise.”

  She barely choked out a, “I love you too,” before the tears began to fill her eyes again, “Edwin I can’t talk right now, I am afraid I won’t be able to function if I do.”

  He was quiet, only a slight intake of breath, then he said, “I’ll talk to you later. please be careful darling.”

  “Okay,” was all she was able to say, a lump impeding any further words. She waited until she heard the click disconnecting their call before pulling the phone away from her face.

  Kim touched her arm, “Hey what’s wrong? Was that your aunt?” Cloe shook her head trying to stop the tears, unable to answer without bawling.

  When she was finally able to get herself under control Cloe explained, “My boyfriend is heading out of the country for a month or longer.”

  Remembering that Edwin told her about something in her backpack, she quietly unzipped the top. Inside laid a prettily wrapped box and a card. She slowly opened the card. A beautiful photograph of an ocean sunset was on the front reminding her of all the sunsets Edwin and her watched nestled together on the deck. She shakily opened the inside. His familiar bold scrawl greeted her with:

  I love you more than life itself. Please take care of my heart. Edwin.

  Kim peering over her shoulder gave a lovelorn sigh. Cloe placed the card in her lap and opened the little package. It was a keychain of a golden heart. Inscribed on it was simply EC.

  “Wow,” Kim said breathlessly, “You’ve got one heck of a boyfriend, who is he?”

  “Edwin Corbin, we met over the summer.”

  Kim repeated his name and said, “His name rings a bell but I don’t know why. Well anyway, he sounds very cool.”

  “Yeah, he is.” She clipped the heart on her backpack and they disembarked from the bus walking together into school.

  For the next week no one really bothered her, which allowed her to relax. Maybe they have already forgotten about her, maybe they found some other poor soul to torture, but whatever their reason she was fine with it. She could almost handle school.

  Her art friends were real cool and slowly one by one they joined Jody, Kim, and her at lunch. It was a strange high to have multiple friends at school, an experience she never had before. She was beginning to feel…liked. When Friday came around and no one was bothering her, she felt confident she had overcome the horrors of school. Now if she could only fill the hallow place in her heart from missing Edwin th
ings would actually be good for once. It would be like it was before school started.

  The last bell rang and she waved bye to Jody in the hallway. It was one of rare moments she was walking without one of her friends in tow. Kim had to rush back to her locker to get an important assignment and everyone else had already departed to their bus or car.

  When she got outside hoards of people milled around the entrance making it difficult for her to proceed forward. She had a feeling something wasn’t right as claustrophobia began to settle in her bones. The people kept getting closer and bumping her, squeezing her. Her breathing became labored, panic rising in her throat, spots darting behind her eyes, then suddenly someone grabbed her, disorienting her further. She thrashed trying to break the grasp but more than one hand, more than one person was holding her. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out, panic tightening her throat. Trying to turn around she wanted to see who had her, but she saw nothing but bodies, indistinguishable bodies, as they dragged her backwards, shoving her in an alcove that she didn’t even know existed. A sack of some sort that was placed over her head instantly blinding her. She struggled, kicked, swung but never connected with anything. Several girls, by the sound of their laughter, started shoving, kicking, and hitting her. Every time she would swing, another person behind her would turn her, disorienting her further. She was crying, so scared, clawing at what ever she could grab. They kept pushing her, turning her, making her sick. She hit a wall, turn, she was shoved into someone else where they would pinch, hit or kick her, turning she stumbled. She was dizzy and it became impossible maintain her balance. The shoves and pinches were coming from all different directions, harder faster. They taunted her calling her a loser, a slow-witted southerner. They said, “Losers who can’t speak right don’t belong in this school.” and “Why don’t she just die or better yet kill yourself.”