Sand dollar

by Hollye Davis

  When she finally spotted Edwin, she stopped. Her heart hurt so much just looking at him. He was sitting in a chair reading what she assume was a script of some sort. He was so beautiful.

  Christoph startled her out of her reverie by announcing loudly, “Look who I’ve found wandering around?” Edwin looked up. He immediately shot up out of his chair dropping the script and knocking off a cup causing a loud crash that had several people looking. He didn’t seem to notice.

  Then Sandra, Christine, Penelope, and Duke all exclaimed at once “CLOE!” which caused everyone else to stop and stare at her.

  She cleared her throat, trying not to cry, trying to be brave to say, “Edwin can we talk?”

  His hand started to reach for her but remembered that it might not be welcomed and dropped it to his side, clinching it into a fist.

  He nodded, looking incapable of speech. His face was a mask of stone and it made her nervous. Edwin turned but before she could follow him Christoph whispered in her ear, “Please Cloe, forgive him, forgive us. We need you, we miss you.” She looked up into Christoph’s sincere eyes and nodded then walked briskly to catch up to Edwin.

  She followed him down a maze of corridors to a door marked with his name. It must have been his personal dressing room or whatever they call it in showbiz. She had never felt more out of place in her life and that was pretty amazing since she never fit in anywhere. Inside the small room was a couch and dressing table but it seemed impersonal. She wandered around a minute looking at things, buying time to think over what she was going to say, everything seemed stupid or silly. She walked to the dressing table and picked up a jar of what looked like make-up foundation. That was shocking. He was so gorgeous did he really need any enhancement? She put the jar back down on his counter. She felt Edwin watching her. A frame next to the jar caught her attention and she lifted it up and stared.

  It was a picture of her on the beach looking out at the ocean. When? how? Before she could ask he answered, “I took it with my cell phone.” She set it back down.

  She watched him through the reflection of the mirror. He reached down to a small fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

  “Would you like one?” He asked softly, she shook her head. She couldn’t swallow her spit much less anything else at the moment.

  After another period of silence she started awkwardly with, “I apologize for disturbing you at work but I didn’t know where else to find you. I guess I could have called but I thought I owed it to you to come in person.”

  He sat frozen, holding the bottle of water in his hands tightly. He was so still she wondered if he was breathing. She continued on, “I got up this morning and realized that I just couldn’t go on living this way. I didn’t want to disappear again or go back to the person you met all those months ago. I realized how much you have helped me become… less broken.” She paused a moment not able to look at him and she finally said, “I realized that I won’t live without you.”

  She heard him suck in his breath but she kept on, “I realized I would rather live a lie with you then live a life of nothingness.” He got up and stepped closer. With her head down and tears in her eyes she said in a very small voice. “I realized that you deserved another chance and I’m asking you to give me one too.”

  He pulled her to him and said, “Oh Cloe.” She looked up as he leaned down. He kissed her effectively taking her breath away. He kissed her like no other kiss she had shared with him. It was full of desperation and love. He put his head down to her neck and breathed in.

  He said, “Thank you, Thank you, Thank you God. I didn‘t know what I was going to do. You wouldn‘t talk to me. You wouldn‘t see me. I was going crazy. I love you, Cloe. I’m sorry, so sorry. I’ll never lie or hurt you again.”

  It was like someone power-washed the broken plaster off my soul to reveal a newer shiner, better version of myself.

  - Cloe’s diary

  Chapter 21

  The Return of the Fire Friends plus One She was sitting on the couch that evening with Aunt telling about what happened. Aunt listened and squeezed her hand. She didn’t give her any advice or tell her that what she did was right or wrong. She just listened and that meant the world to Cloe.

  When the doorbell rang they looked at each other surprised. As usual it was Aunt who got up and flung the front door open. Sandra, Christoph and all her fire friends flowed in.

  “Since Edwin hogged you all up when you came to visit our show we decided to come and see you and LOOK we brought peace offerings!” Sandra exclaimed holding up presents.

  Good grief, more presents. Edwin followed behind, always in the shadows just like when they first met. He stepped toward her but he was reserved. It wasn’t until she held out her hand that he smiled, pulling her to him. The feeling of his warmth seeped through her as she laid her head on his chest.

  After a few moments, he leaned back causing her to look up questionably at him. Pulling her necklace out of his pocket he draped it around her neck.

  “Please don’t ever remove this again. I thought I would die when I found it on Christoph,” Edwin said. Before she respond the doorbell rang again.

  They all looked at each other a little nervous knowing that whoever was on the other end might expose her friends. Aunt, always quick on her feet, suggested that everyone except Cloe go hide in her room.

  When the living room was once again cleared, Aunt made to her way to the door. This time it was Kim on the other side. Kim walked in looking curiously about comically confused, “There are a whole bunch of fancy cars outside but no one is here but you. Weird, I thought your aunt was having a party or something.”

  Kim peered to see if people were out on the deck or beach. A crease appeared between her eyebrows. “What’s going on here?” she asked.

  “Aunt,” Cloe said, “Would you go get Edwin for me.”

  Kim gasped, “Edwin is here, you’re okay with that?”

  Cloe patted the couch indicating that Kim needed to sit down.

  “I know I’m stupid but I forgave him. Kim, you’re a good friend right?”

  She smiled, “The very best.”

  “Good because I don’t want people to know about me and Edwin.”

  “Oh but Britney…” she argued.

  “I could give two cow patties about Britney, what I care about is protecting our relationship. You understand right? I can trust you right?”

  “Oh Cloe, how can you even ask that, of course you can!”

  “Good,” Cloe hugged her. She knew Edwin was standing just out of sight listening, she felt him there.

  “Edwin,” she called and he walked forward, “I would like you to meet Kim, my very best friend.”

  “Pleasure,” he said and he bowed over her hand. Kim melted immediately. Edwin continued, “I owe you a great deal Kim. You have been a good friend to Cloe.”

  Kim turned to her with a huge grin, “Good grief Cloe, how could you not forgive him?”

  After that the rest of her friends came out and introduced themselves to Kim. She feared Kim was about to faint from all the excitement.

  Her aunt ordered pizza and they had an impromptu party with dance music. Cloe asked Kim to spend the night and everyone decided they wanted to stay too. The guest bedroom took a little fixing but they decided that it would hold the girls just fine. The boys would have to crash on the living room floor, and of course Edwin would sleep with her.

  The next day her aunt tried to make breakfast, which was a complete disaster. Cloe kicked her out of the kitchen and repeated the process. Before long she had a houseful of very full and happy friends. They spent the day out on the beach talking and catching up. She told them about what she did to Britney and how she hadn’t been back to school to see what kind of torture she had planned for her. They all looked at her stunned unbelieving that Cloe had actually physically attacked someone.

  She shrugged, “I was under a lot of stress, it wasn’t the right thing to do but I was running on emotions.�
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  Edwin nodded, understanding, and pulled her closer to him. He kissed her cheek, “I hope you never have to repeat the experience again my love.”

  That night they had a big fire. Kim laughed at when they did the choreographed dance the girls had taught Cloe and said it was the coolest thing she had ever seen. We were up all night until the sun peeked out. Everyone but Kim needed to head home and left after she cooked breakfast. Kim went to the guest room and disappeared leaving Edwin and her finally together alone.

  She was washing the dishes when he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her midsection. She turned off the water and turned around.

  “I didn’t think they would ever leave,” his lips touched hers and the world was forgotten. They were both shaking from the emotions when he said, “Cloe, I thought I would never feel like this again. After that day I came over to talk to you, I thought it was over for good. I didn’t want to go on living at that moment. I prayed for God take me right then because I knew I would never survive living without you.”

  His emotion overwhelmed her, she was almost ashamed she hadn’t forgiven him sooner. He continued, “When Christoph came in after seeing you, he wasn’t doing well either. All of us just sat staring at nothing, trying to figure out how to get you back. He leaned down to pick up a script when your necklace spilled from his shirt pocket. Something snapped in me. When I saw it I went ballistic. I punched Christoph, I thought he and you…” He stopped and swallowed. Pain was etched into his eyes, “God, Forgive me but I thought you and Christoph were together. When Duke held me back long enough for Christoph to explain, I felt ashamed and then angry that you were giving up so easily. I had convinced myself that if I gave you time you would come back to me. But after the necklace, I wasn’t sure anymore. I had to go and see you. To see if it was true, that you were done with me. Our friends begged me not see you because they didn’t know how I would act. I haven’t been the most stable person as of late. But I had to, so I waited, and I was so angry, but when I saw you, all I could think about was kissing you, having you in my arms. I would have sold my soul to have you in my arms again.”

  She put her head on his chest and said, “I’m sorry Edwin, when I gave that necklace back I was trying to purge you from my system. But no matter how hard I tried, you wouldn’t go away. Everywhere I went you were there. I wanted to run away. I would have run away if it wasn’t for Aunt. You hurt me more than anyone in the world, but you also helped me more than anyone. I can’t just throw that away. I can’t throw what we have away, I know deep down we will never find it again.” She felt him nod. “I love you Edwin.”

  She reached up on her toes to kiss him again. He lifted her up and took her to the bedroom where they spent the rest of the day.

  When the light began to fade she realized the weekend was over and school was the next day. To make matters worse Edwin said that they put off production of the next episode because of his apparent “food poising” which meant that they had to work double time to get things back on track. He promised he would be home at night, but he couldn’t tell her when.

  I know it is petty, I know it is not right, but darn it, revenge feels justified sometimes and I can’t deny I want it. – Cloe’s diary

  Chapter 22 Revenge At school people treated her with more respect. They moved out the way when she walked through the hallways. With the rumors about the suicide and the random attack on Britney they probably thought she was unstable. Whatever the reason, she didn’t care, as long as they stayed out of her way.

  While making her way to her next class a magazine picture caught her attention. She stopped at some nameless girl’s locker where an advertisement for the hit series Chardonnay was tapped inside the locker. Edwin was front and center and beautiful as always. She slowly touched his face with her index finger. She had been so blind. How could he be everywhere but she never see him?

  The girl beside her sighed and looked dreamily at the picture. “He’s positively yummy isn’t he?” Cloe jerked her hand back startled by the question. She gazed at the girl blankly trying to comprehend that she was talking about her boyfriend, “Yes, yes he is,” she agreed glancing back up at the picture.

  “Did you know that they are local? That they shoot this show right down the road? I hope one day I’ll run into them. They are so elusive though. They avoid the media like the plague.”

  Cloe nodded, reaching up to touch Edwin again.

  “You really like him don’t you? I find my tastes turn toward Duke. He’s so sweet.”

  Cloe smiled mischievously, “I’m in love with him.”

  “Wow, I mean, that’s cool and but kind of useless don’t you think. I mean I thought I was obsessed with the show but I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was in love with Duke. Not like that anyway, like you are serious and all.”

  Cloe shrugged, once again glancing at the picture. A twinge of something not very nice surged through her as she stared at beautiful Victoria’s visage. She glanced back at the chick who owned the picture, she seemed to be full of all kinds of information. “Who is that?” Cloe asked pointing to Victoria.

  “Oh, good grief you don’t know? That is Victoria Beasley. She is the wildest of the actresses. I think just last week she got caught with a DUI. The rumor is that they are thinking of writing her out because she causes so much trouble. She plays this wicked character on the show and is always doing mean things. She was Jason McRoy’s girlfriend on the show but like early spring they broke up.” Cloe nodded as the girl kept talking obviously this was her favorite subject. “They said that there is going to be open auditions for her replacement. I was thinking that I would audition but Britney has said that she has got it the bag. She claims that she knows some producer or something.” Tearing her gaze from the picture the girl looked sharply back at her. “Oh, right, sorry about that. I know that you and Britney don’t exactly get along,” she said.

  Cloe smirked, that’s putting it lightly. She looked back at the picture one more time, “Thanks,” then turned back to the girl, “What is your name?”

  “Jennifer.”

  “I’m Cloe,” she held out her hand.

  “Yeah I know,” the girl answered watching her wearily. Cloe nodded, after the fight she was sure everyone knew her name. She nodded again and walked on. The girl watched her leave as if she had lost her mind but all Cloe cared about was that girl just gave her an idea.

  Everyone was elated to see her in art class and at lunch they settled down to their usual conversations. It was like none of it had ever happened. The big talk was about how Christmas vacation and what everyone was going to do with their time off. She was a little shocked about how much time had flown by since coming to California. In a few months she will be here a year, she would have known Edwin for a year. When all the talk of Christmas died down Kim introduced another topic.

  “Are you going to prom, Cloe?“ Kim asked.

  “Isn’t it a little early to be talking about prom?” She asked Kim.

  “No, here it is on Valentine’s day. When we get back from Christmas, it is like only a month away.”

  “Oh, well I don’t think it would actually work with Edwin,” She said, looking at her pointedly.

  “Why don’t you go with someone else?”

  “Clearly you don’t understand Edwin. He has attacked his best friend for merely trying to be friends with me”

  “You’re kidding?” Jody piped in.

  “No, Edwin is very possessive of me,” Cloe said to Jody.

  “Oh yeah, I was with him for like half a second and I could tell that,” Kim said to Jody.

  Jody clearly surprised said, “You actually met Cloe’s boyfriend?”

  “Yes, and Jody, Edwin has it bad for Cloe. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any guy look at a girl like that,” Kim then sighed adding dreamingly, “If only Cole could look at me like that.”

  “I really didn’t think he existed,” Jody said.

  Cloe gasped, “That’s mean
, you think I made him up?”

  Jody shrugged, “Well if I had thought of making up a rich connected boyfriend first I would have.” They all laughed.

  “I’m going,” Jody announced and then clarified, “to prom that is.”

  “Really?” Kim asked, “With whom?”

  “Jeff,” Jody sent a shy glance Jeff’s direction sitting across the table who was probably talking football with Tom.

  “Well all right then!” Kim exclaimed and then said shyly, “I was thinking of inviting Cole.”

  Cloe smiled hugely. “My life has been crazy, so forgive me for not asking, how is the whole Cole thing going?”

  But Kim couldn’t answer because Britney came to the table and said, “Hey losers! Hey Cloe, how was the trip to the hospital? Too bad the suicide didn’t work the world could use one less ugly face.” So this was her counteract? How pathetic.

  Jeff got up and so did Kim ready for battle. Cloe was so tired of this. She calmly stood up and walked right at her making Britney take a couple steps back as if she was scared Cloe was going to attack her again. It amused her, she smiled and kept walking, throwing her lunch in the trash when she turned back around she said to her friends, “Hey guys, I am heading to my class I’ll see you later.”

  It felt good to just walk away from Britney.

  Kim, Jody, and Jeff followed.

  Kim came rushing up to me, “Oh Cloe, why don’t you smack the bitch?”

  Cloe sighed, “Because that’s what she wants. It’ll just prove her rumors of me trying to commit suicide are true.”

  “I can’t believe those rumors are still circulating, you would think they would die down by now.” Kim said.

  “Rumors only die down when people stop feeding them. Britney is feeding it to her friends who are repeating it over and over again. The only bright spot is that people will see how inaccurate they are and Britney will lose some of her power. At least I hope so.”

  Kim nodded, clearly disbelieving.

  When the end of the day finally arrived she was so excited. She ran out the front entrance toward the parking lot. Edwin was waiting for her in the parking lot incognito. She recognized that now. She ran into his arms for a nice embrace. Britney walked by and said, “Whore.”