Cowboy State of Mind (Tarnation, Texas Book 4)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  CC was caked in mud, but he’d never seen her prettier. “You were the amazing one. You knew exactly what to do, of course.”

  She brought her gaze up, nailing him with pools of hazel. “Be careful, Cowboy. I might think you like me just a bit.”

  “Hell right!” Clearing his throat, he shrugged and reeled himself in a touch. “I like you just fine.” And he did.

  Chapter 4

  “HOW’S SHE DOING?” the husky rich voice made her smile.

  CC looked outside of the fence slats and saw Adam leaning against the top rail, a sliver of grass tucked between his teeth. He looked like he’d wrestled a pig in a mud puddle. Even covered from top to bottom, he still could be classified as drop-dead gorgeous. Yet, she’d gotten the feeling that he’d been dodging her the last few days.

  “She’s doing better,” she finally answered. “I think she’ll recover just fine.” She stood and rounded the fence, locking the gate behind her. “I guess we must both look a mess.”

  He chuckled as he reached up and pulled something from her hair. He held a clump of dried mud in his palm then tossed it over his shoulder. “I don’t know, you wear dried mud well. You did good today, CC. I know I told you that earlier, but I needed to say it again. Sally would have died if you hadn’t come along.”

  “She would have died if you hadn’t come along and held her head up. You saved her life. And the unborn calf.” She grabbed her bag, shut it, then stepped out of the barn. “I have an appointment later. I guess I should wash up a bit before I head to McGregor’s. He might not recognize me and shoot me on the spot.”

  “It’s hard telling what was in that water.”

  Looking over her shoulder at him, she sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. “I’m not sure if I’m smelling you or myself.”

  “Probably a bit of both.”

  “My momma always said a hose wasn’t just meant for watering flowers. Come here.” She placed her bag on a nearby work bench and glanced back to make sure he was still following. He was. Taking the hose from the hook, she squeezed the trigger lightly and looked into his curious gaze. “Let me help you out, Cowboy.”

  His hesitation lasted all about a second. He set his hat aside and stepped over, lifting his hands, palms up. “I take hillbilly showers at least once a week, but I’m guessing you don’t. You smell way too good.” His eyes deepened in color as he grinned his way right into the center of her chest. “On most occasions anyway. You stink.”

  “I bet we both would clear a chapel.” Then he did something that sent her heart chasing the butterflies in her stomach. He reached for the hem of his dirty shirt and dragged it over his head, tossing it over the top of the fence. Smooth chest, flat nipples, a trail of dark hair that disappeared underneath his large, silver belt buckle…all made her want to forget her morning prayer promising to be on her best behavior and drag him into the barn so she could get a closer look at the chiseled map of his body. Taking a deep breath, she averted her gaze, stretching her attention along the quiet field. Most of the hands had called it a day. The tall reeds danced in the breeze and she could hear a flock of birds chirping from a nearby tree. If anyone happened upon them at that moment, they would surely be the talk of town tomorrow. So why didn’t she care? Why didn’t this deter her desire?

  A cowgirl like CC didn’t care what others thought. She never had and probably never would. She lived by the beat of her own drum.

  However, if she pressed him back against the barn wall and kissed him, her only concern was revealing something that she wasn’t quite ready for him to know. She’d thought about him for the last forty-eight hours, fantasized about him, nearly gave a goat the wrong vaccine because her brain had been bamboozled with Adam Colt. She’d hoped once she saw him again she’d realize she was mistaken, he was only a man, but instead her attraction had doubled—no, tripled. Seeing him saving Sally had touched her more than a dozen roses could. Like a schoolgirl, he made her weak with lust—full of desires she’d never experienced. The Colt cowboys were all attention-getters, no doubt, but Adam was different on so many levels. He had a quiet confidence and strength that she liked seeing in a man.

  “This is going to be cold,” she warned.

  He clasped his hands behind his head, making his arm into two valleys of toned muscle. “Go for it.”

  Swallowing hard, she squeezed the handle, streaming the water down his chest and abdomen. The waist of his jeans sat perfectly low on his lean hips. Hearing a faint moan, she brought her gaze up to meet his. Something in his expression made an awareness trickle like creek water into all her hidden nooks and crannies. Tucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she concentrated on cleaning him, smoothing her hand over the broad width of his chest down the six pack of his stomach. His flat nipples tightened and he breathed in heavily.

  “Be gentle,” he said in a husky Texas twang.

  “I’m always gentle unless I have to be tough.”

  “I wouldn’t want to mess with you. Or maybe I would. I bet that’d be a sight.”

  Afraid of divulging her inner emotions, she kept her eyes glued to his chest. “There it is again, that incredible Colt charm. Thank you.”

  “For what?” The new huskiness in his tone made her wonder what he could be thinking. She had a feeling she already knew.

  “For listening to me today. Some cowboys would have waited for the excavator to come get Sally.”

  “What I did was nothing exceptional. It was an expectation.” He closed his eyes and she was grateful, needing a second to compose herself. Thankfully she could examine his body without his eyes on her.

  He towered her in height, and his shoulders were as muscular and wide as a stallion. From cornflower blue eyes, chiseled facial features and a wide jaw covered in dark whiskers, he could have been a model in another life—no, he could have been a warrior. As she swiped away the remnants of dirt from his skin, she tried to keep her thoughts on track and not on the desire to kiss him. CC had always been one who went after what she wanted, even when a risk was involved. She didn’t want a relationship with Adam, she only wanted marriage and a child.

  Lowering the spray, she cleaned the spots of dirt off his flat stomach and his waist just above the buckle.

  “Turn around,” she said, hoping he didn’t catch the quivering in her voice. During the time she’d managed to get to know him, she’d learned that outside of being ruggedly handsome, he was also surprisingly compassionate, attentive, and intelligent. He’d stayed with the cow when he could have easily left her. He could sing too. Chills raced through her remembering how he’d sang while they danced the other night. “I’ve known cowboys who would have walked away and called a cow a loss. I see it every day.” She sprayed his back, noticing how the muscles tensed and danced as she sprayed the cold water over his tanned skin. The Wranglers fit his bottom like they’d been made just for him.

  He swiveled, meeting her gaze. “Those aren’t cowboys, darlin’. A man never leaves anyone, or anything, behind. I’m a man of honor.”

  Why did she suddenly feel like the oxygen had been zapped from her world? Something had changed between them, like a door had been opened and a rush of emotions seeped in. “I never doubted your honor. Have you given any more thought to my offer?”

  “Yes,” he answered without hesitation. “Do you think I might be clean in that area?”

  Realizing she held the spray on the center of his chest and his skin had turned beet red, she let go of the trigger and felt her cheeks warm. “And?”

  He took the nozzle from her, their fingers brushing and causing a wave of familiarity in her lower body. “My turn.”

  “Your turn?”

  He didn’t use words. He showed her.

  He circled her, pulling the hose with him. Her breath came out in a surprised moan when he threaded his wide fingers in her hair. “Just relax. Let me do my thing,” he said next to her ear. His thing? Did he wash women regularly?

  The gurgling water sounded and a se
cond later she felt wetness on her scalp and neck. The cool temperature of the stream was canceled by the warmth radiating from his closeness. His fingers moved, gently scrubbing her scalp as he cleaned the mud from her. Her eyes shut on their own will as she felt her body relax. This wasn’t what she’d meant to happen, but, Lord help her, she couldn’t complain or stop him. His spell fell over her like a welcoming veil. How long had passed since she’d had a man run his hands through her hair?

  “You have mud all in your hair,” he said. “I never knew I’d like washing a woman’s hair so much.”

  “This is your first time?”

  “Yes. Can you tell?”

  “Is this your way of dodging my question?” He loosened his touch and a second later she heard the faucet turn off. She looked at him, searching his expression. “If you don’t want to do this, Adam, I’ll understand. There’s always option B.”

  “Option B?”

  “I’m sure I can find another cowboy willing to help a girl out.” Why did she say those words? If finding a man had been that easy she wouldn’t be here, now, asking him a second time if he’d give her a child. She wanted to offer him an out because as much as she wanted this to happen, she didn’t want to corner anyone. When he lifted his chin, she saw the tightness in his jaw that a layer of dark whiskers couldn’t hide.

  “I thought you’d change your mind.”

  “Well, you were wrong.”

  He swiped his palms down his jeans as if he was trying to rid something sticky from his hands. “Apparently so,” he grumbled.

  “Look, I was married before, all of five minutes.” She felt the water dripping from the ends of hair, soaking her shirt. “I was young and dumb and thought I was in love. I thought it’d last forever, but what nineteen-year-old with roses for eyeballs doesn’t think love lasts forever? He couldn’t seem to leave his college football hero days in the past, oh and the college girls that found him irresistible.” Realizing she’d divulged a lot in a matter of seconds, she shrugged. It was too late to back out of her disclosure. “The first time he cheated, I forgave him. The second time I couldn’t. That has been a long time ago and while he has moved on, many times, I seem to be stuck in some macabre tunnel with no exit signs in sight. I was smart enough to not reproduce with him, but if only I’d known that Mr. Right would never come along I might have changed my mind.”

  He smoothed his hand over his short hair, sending a spray of water shooting up, reflecting the sunlight in the droplets. “Just because Mr. Right hasn’t come yet doesn’t mean he won’t.”

  She laughed which mingled with the chirping above them. “I don’t believe in fairytales.”

  “Love can happen. Then what? You have two divorces to explain.”

  “Yeah, I guess it’s unacceptable for a woman to have two divorces under her belt. That must be why men love women barely out of school.”

  “CC, that’s not what I meant—”

  “I understand. I thought we could strike up a deal, but I see I was wrong.” What had she been thinking? She got as far as the end of the fence when she felt his gentle fingers on her arm.

  “CC…”

  She swiveled on her boots, working up a smile she didn’t feel inside. “It’s okay, Adam. You don’t have to explain.”

  “What if we got married and you decided you wanted to stay married?”

  She didn’t miss a heartbeat. “I won’t. I promise you that won’t happen. I’ll give you your freedom without hesitation and responsibility for me or the baby. If that’s what you’re worried about, then don’t. I won’t chain you to eighteen years of responsibility. I can even sign an agreement if you prefer. If you’re concerned about your assets, I can sign a prenuptial agreement too. I’m not in this for money or a piece of Grinning Spurs. I want nothing but a baby.”

  Vulnerability stormed through her as she stared at his unmoved expression.

  “You know what? Let’s pretend I never made the offer.”

  “CC?”

  “Nope. I’m serious. I retract my offer.” She hurried to her truck as fast as her feet would carry her.

  Chapter 5

  WAVING AT THE ranch hand as he pulled away, Adam waited for the truck to disappear around the bend then he tucked the black bag under his arm and started for the white farmhouse with the sign in the window flipped to “closed”. Taking the stairs to the porch, he knocked on the door. Several knocks in, he decided she wasn’t home or wouldn’t answer, so he started to retrace his steps when he heard a click and a creak as the door came open. He saw CC through the screen door, her eyes slightly wide behind large glasses. Her arms were crossed over her chest as if to protect herself.

  “Adam? What are you doing here?” She pushed open the door.

  It had taken a couple of beers and a shot to get him there, and now that he was, he couldn’t get his tongue to work.

  “Adam?” She lifted a brow and waited.

  “Hey.” He swiped off his hat and held it against his chest.

  “Hey.” She cracked a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Leaning out, she looked down the drive as if looking for his truck. “Are you lost?” Her hair was pulled up into a messy topknot with several tendrils framing her heart shaped face.

  Moisture dampened his forehead. His boots felt heavy on his feet.

  Dropping his gaze, he noticed her loose-fitting pink tank top that read “Powerful” and her yoga pants…black yoga pants…that fit every curve. Praise the person who created those tight-fitting pants.

  “Deek dropped me off on his way back to the ranch.” He leaned his arm on the screen door.

  “Is that right? Did you give him the wrong address?”

  “No. Oh, here’s your bag. You left it today.”

  She took it and held it close to her chest. “Thank you. I planned on getting it tomorrow when I stopped out. I have another.”

  “I would have been here before now, but we were having a bachelor party for Ash.” He shifted in his boots, scraping the heels against the worn boards. “Looks like you need some repair work on this porch.” He shifted his weight to test the loose boards. “I could fix this problem in no time.”

  “No thank you.” She sighed. “Adam, if you came here to bring me my bag, I appreciate it but I’m a little busy.”

  He was massacring the moment. “I also need to speak to you.”

  “I’ll be out at Grinning Spurs in the morning to examine Sally. We can talk then.”

  “It can’t wait. Can I come in?”

  There was a second’s hesitancy, and he thought she’d deny him. She finally said, “Sure.” She stepped aside so he could pass.

  Her house was nice and smelled like pecan pie. A fire was going in the fireplace where a yellow Lab was stretched out on a rug in front of the blaze. He slowly got up and came to greet Adam with a lick on the hand. “Hi, fellow.” Adam rewarded him with a scratch behind the ears. “I didn’t know you have a dog.”

  “I don’t. He belongs to a friend of mine. Stella. You know, the owner of the diner. She’s on vacation and needed a sitter for Ruger. He keeps me company. Don’t you, boy?” She patted the dog’s head and he wagged his tail.

  “Ruger. That’s a powerful name, buddy.” Adam swept his hand down the dog’s back, feeling the heat in his fur form the fire. Once Adam stopped petting him, Ruger went back to his perch on the rug.

  “He’s thirteen and has arthritis. When he comes here, I start a fire and that’s where he’ll stay, unless it’s feeding time.” She closed the door but didn’t bother locking it. No one did around these parts.

  “I wonder, do you ever take a break?”

  “Of course. Five years ago when I visited Bali.” She smiled and the golden glow of the fire caught her irises, turning them darker. She stepped past him and the hairs on his arms stood on end.

  “Really? What do country girls do in Bali?”

  “In between clinics, they visit Nusa Penida where they rent a scooter and explore the area. I even tr
ied my hand at surfing and failed miserably, but I loved scuba diving. I watched the sunrise every morning, and eventually my sister, who begged to go with me, and I visited a one-hundred-year-old bald, toothless spiritual guru who told me all about my love life, or rather lack of.”

  “Did he predict a cowboy in your future?”

  She smiled and shrugged. “He didn’t tell me much although he did peg that I had been married and divorced.”

  “Hell, why listen to a balding, toothless man anyway.”

  “He did get one thing right though. He told my sister that she’d find the man of her dreams and wouldn’t you know, two months after we returned home, she ran into him as he was coming out of the bank. So, I hate to rush you, but she’s having her engagement party this evening and I still need to get dressed. You have something you need to say?”

  Damn, the words were lost. When had he ever been at a loss for words?

  Then she shocked him by saying, “I’ll drop you off at home, that is unless you want to come along? You can be my plus one. I always hate going to these kind of functions alone.”

  “Your sister won’t mind?”

  “Not only will she not mind but she falls in love a lot quicker than I do.” She winked. “You might even have some fun. Her fiancé, Jagger, is a riot. He used to be in the Army and has an abundance of war stories to tell. And my sister’s not too bad either.”

  Every warning sign popped up. He could tell her later that he’d decided to accept her proposal, if she still wanted him. He took a step toward the door, but he found himself saying instead, “Fine. Am I okay dressed like this?”

  Her smile grew. “You’ll fit right in. It’s at a honky tonk. She’s already requested saddles instead of flowers. Anyway, if you’ll give me a few minutes, I’m going to change. Make yourself at home. I won’t be long.”

  Watching her climb the stairs, he blew out a ragged breath. “Shit!” He dropped down on the couch. Ruger lifted his head and his ears, looking at Adam with sympathetic brown eyes. “I know, buddy. I should have just told her why I came.” The dog continued to stare. “Is it always impossible to think when she looks at you with those amazing eyes?” Ruger grunted and laid his head back down, closing his eyes.