Saxon's Soul (Haven, Texas Book 5)

by Laylah Roberts

  Holy shit.

  She was in such trouble. She should stay far away from him. He was kryptonite. Not that she had any special powers. She guessed that was the crux of the problem. She was nothing. Nobody. A single mom who was close to being homeless. He might want to play with her for a bit but, it would never go beyond that. He’d made that clear.

  Was she really considering doing this? Was she going to take the job? Agree to his rules? She could do that. Follow the rules, get along with Renard, do her job, how hard could it be?

  She rolled over with a sigh. She felt bad about letting Peggy down, though. The other woman had been good to her. Maybe she could work out a way to continue supplying her with pies.

  But no matter how bad she felt or how nervous she was, she couldn’t say no to his job offer. He was offering her a way to keep her head above water. The rest of it, well, she wasn’t so sure that was a good idea. In fact, she knew it wasn’t. She’d just have to try and keep her distance from him. Keep things professional. She’d keep her head down, do her job and not make waves. This could be the break she needed and she wasn’t going to fuck it up.

  Satisfaction filled him as Aspen’s words sunk in.

  She was agreeing to his offer. Brave girl. He’d had his doubts. His money had actually been on her running. Then he’d have to chase her. Which would have stirred the part of him he wasn’t certain she was ready for.

  “I’ll send some movers over.”

  “I don’t need movers. I don’t have much. In fact, I think I still have the boxes out in Mr. Peterson’s barn from when we moved in. I’ll just pack up what I’ve got and load it in the car and we’ll be at your place this afternoon. Are you sure you really want to have us in your guest house? I can stay here until I find something closer to town.”

  “Aspen, you are moving into the guest house. End of story. I wouldn’t offer it if I didn’t want you there. And I don’t want any more arguments about it, understand?”

  “I wasn’t arguing, just making sure it’s what you want.”

  “Do I seem like the type of man who doesn’t know what he wants?”

  There was silence on the other end.

  “All right, I’ll stop asking. Sorry.”

  He raised his eyebrows. As far as apologies went it didn’t sound terribly sincere, but he decided to cut her some slack seeing as he was getting what he wanted.

  See, he could be a reasonable man.

  “But I don’t need the movers.”

  He sighed. Even for a reasonable man like him, patience only went so far.

  “Aspen, if you continue to fight me on everything you’re going to use up a lot your energy. Energy that could be redirected to better paths.”

  More silence. He smiled. He could just see the wheels turning in her head.

  “Most of my energy is used taking care of two little boys.”

  Ah, yes, remind him of her responsibilities. A good rebuttal. Especially for a bachelor with little experience with children and no desire for them. He wasn’t a family man.

  “Well, now you’re going to have help with that, aren’t you?” More help than that useless mother of hers had provided.

  “From you?”

  He couldn’t really blame her for the incredulous note in her voice.

  “Careful, sprite. I could take offense at your lack of belief in me.”

  “I think you’ll survive,” she said dryly.

  “You can pack up your things,” he told her. “But do not move any of those boxes.”

  She sighed. “Fine. Um, Saxon?”

  “Yes.” He was intrigued by the hesitation in her voice.

  “Thank you. I’m not sure I’ve actually said it yet. But thanks for helping me.”

  “Well, you might want to hold off on your thanks until you’ve worked for a day with Renard, then you might be cursing me.”

  She laughed, which is exactly what he’d been hoping for. As he ended the call, he took a deep breath, trying to calm the desire raging through him. When had a woman’s laugh ever had the power to flood him with arousal?

  Never.

  That wasn’t disturbing at all.

  He quickly said goodbye. He had a few phone calls to make to get the guest house ready for its new guests.

  She took a deep breath as she pulled into Saxon’s driveway. The club was set back from the road, with parking in the back. Surrounding the building and parking lot was a huge fence and dense shrubbery. Saxon drove ahead of her in his new-model, high-end Jeep. She’d been surprised when he’d pulled up in the black vehicle. The car he’d driven the other night had been a sports car. But he seemed at home in both.

  An electronic gate opened, and he continued on. She followed him, feeling completely out of place in her beat-up Honda. Still, she was grateful to have it. It got her where she needed to go. Well, mostly. She looked in the rearview mirror to check on the boys. Both were sleeping peacefully.

  Saxon had turned up about an hour after she’d called him. Then another car had driven in. Hannah, Brye, and Melody had jumped out. A third car brought Duncan and Laken. She’d nearly burst into tears. They’d quickly packed up her meagre belongings while helping her look after the boys. While the men packed up Saxon’s Jeep and her car, Hannah, Laken, and Melody had all pitched in to clean up the cabin.

  She’d dropped off the key to old Mr. Peterson, and given Mrs. Peterson a hug, telling her she’d be back to visit.

  Saxon had told the others not to worry about helping unpack. They’d all given her a hug and told her to let them know if she needed anything before leaving. She still couldn’t believe how they’d all turned up to help her. Well, maybe it was to help out Saxon. He was the one who’d called them.

  She stared out the window as she drove up to a very modern-looking house. She’d never seen Saxon’s place before. It was well back from the road and hidden behind a large fence. But it was exactly what she’d expected. Slick and expensive. Two-stories high and white with black trimmed windows, it was quite intimidating to a girl who’d grown up in trailers and crappy apartments.

  She swallowed heavily and parked beside Saxon at the front of the house. She climbed out before he could get to her door. He sent her a disapproving look. She bit her lip.

  “Nice house.”

  He glanced up then shrugged, as though he’d never really noticed it before. “It’s okay. I’ll have Thomas put the vehicles in the garage after we’ve unpacked. Next time, wait for me to open your door.”

  “Oh, that’s okay. My car is fine out here.” It didn’t really warrant a garage and she wasn’t sure she wanted Thomas doing her any favors.

  “Aspen, the car can go in the garage. What did I say about fighting me on everything?”

  She blew out a breath. “If you asked me sometimes instead of always flinging out orders I wouldn’t need to argue.”

  He grinned. And her whole body lit up. “Asking has never been my strong suit.”

  I bet.

  “Are the boys asleep?” He peered in the back window of the car.

  “Yep. I was going to leave them in there until I’ve unpacked.” She looked around and couldn’t see the guest house. She bit her lip. “I don’t really like having them out of my sight for too long, though.”

  “Would they wake if you picked them up?”

  “They’re pretty sound sleepers.”

  “Good to know.” He opened one back door. “You grab one and I’ll take the other. We can settle them into the guest house then unpack.”

  She nodded. She unbuckled the straps in Jamie’s car seat, noticing Saxon didn’t fumble or hesitate with Caleb’s. Did nothing phase the man?

  She drew Jamie against her chest, taking a moment to breathe in the smell of him. Did anything smell as good as your child? Or feel as wonderful pressed against you? She glanced over at Saxon, noted how he held Caleb cradled against his chest. Or maybe there was nothing better than seeing a strong man hold a child so gently.

  Oh, damn her
heart. How was she supposed to resist him?

  She followed him around the house and then came to a stop, nearly gasping at the sight of the glistening pool. It wasn’t just the pool though. A huge porch ran the length of the house, jutting out in the middle. There were several seating areas scattered around. On the far end of the covered area was a round table and chairs, the perfect spot for eating breakfast in the morning. Then, in the middle, there were a large, comfortable looking outdoor sofa and chairs for entertaining. Near to where she stood there were a couple of scattered beanbags. Down around the pool were more chairs and a gazebo with a pizza oven next to it.

  “It’s like something out of a movie,” she whispered.

  The backdrop to it all was pure Texas countryside as far as you could see. She could just imagine how it looked with the sun setting behind the hills beyond.

  Magical.

  “You like it?”

  She jolted then quickly glanced down at Jamie to make certain she hadn’t woken him.

  “Yes, it’s amazing.”

  “You can use the pool whenever you like. Have the boys been swimming before?”

  “No, I, uh, I’ve never had the chance to take them.” She didn’t want to tell him that she couldn’t swim herself. That just made her sound completely pathetic. God, she longed to be able to dive into the clear blue water of the pool. She could still hop in, she guessed, she’d just have to stick to the shallow end.

  “We’ll see about getting them some lessons.”

  “Lessons? There’s no need for that.”

  “There’s every need. If they’re going to live by a pool then they need to learn to swim,” Saxon said sternly. “There’s no way they can get through the gate and fence, but they won’t be this small forever. Little boys like to climb. I want them to be safe.”

  And she didn’t? But as her temper stirred, she glanced over at him and realized he hadn’t meant anything by the words. He was currently patting Caleb’s back while staring out at the pool.

  “We better get them down. We can talk about swimming lessons later.” He was right, she knew. She didn’t want the boys growing up like she had, feeling a mixture of longing and fear towards water. But then it wasn’t like they were going to be here that long. This was just temporary.

  A building was set off to the side of the pool, tucked in behind some plants. She followed Saxon down the winding pathway until they reached the small, white house. It had a gray roof and the same black trimmed windows as the main house.

  “Here we are.” Saxon turned the handle, and she followed him inside. It was decorated in cool whites, grays, and black. Cold and impersonal were her first thoughts. So much so that she actually shivered a little.

  “There’s central heating,” he told her, obviously catching her movement. Didn’t miss much, did he?

  “All pretty straight-forward. Open plan kitchen, dining, and living room. If you can’t work anything, let Thomas know.”

  Yeah, she’d figure it out on her own. The kitchen stole her attention. It was filled with expensive appliances. A full-sized fridge, a gas oven, dishwasher, and microwave. Holy hell. The place might have the feel of an impersonal hotel room but nothing had been missed. The dining area was a small glass table with four white chairs. Not good choices for two boys, and she knew she wouldn’t be using that area to feed them. The living area was slightly better. It had a L-shaped, black leather couch, a large screen television secured to the wall, and double doors that led out to a small patio.

  “This is your bathroom.” He moved down the passage and pointed to one door. “Then your bedroom is across from it. And this is the boys’ room.” He opened the door at the end of the hall.

  She came to a stop when she reached the doorway, overcome with emotion. She’d expected to find a guestroom with a double bed. She’d figured she’d have to make do with having the boys sleep with her for a bit until she could figure things out. She’d never in her wildest dreams expected what she saw.

  The walls were the same color as the rest of the house, but they’d been filled with large pictures of animals. Blues, greens, yellows, and reds. A big blue rug had been placed over the gray carpet. Two white cribs rested against opposite walls, a mobile attached to the end of each had dinosaurs dancing through the air. The cribs were made up with light green bedding. Under the window was a wooden chest. And next to it on the floor was a wooden train set.

  “The chest is empty so you can put their toys in it if you like,” Saxon said as he moved to one crib and laid Caleb gently down. “I’m afraid I couldn’t do much with the short notice, but if you don’t like anything you can exchange it. I wanted them to have beds at least.”

  Change anything? Why would I change it?

  “I can’t believe you did this for me,” she whispered then walked over to settle Jamie in his bed. “I don’t even know how you did this so quickly.”

  He shrugged and, if she didn’t know better, she would have said he looked self-conscious. “I find money speeds things up.”

  Right. She wouldn’t know. “As soon as I can, I’ll pay you back. Or you can take it out of my paycheck, along with the money I owe you for the car, too.”

  Oh, God, she was spiraling further and further into debt. A sinking feeling filled her even as her airways tightened. Don’t panic. Don’t panic.

  Saxon walked over and took her hand, guiding her to the door. Then he stopped. “Are they okay now?” He gestured towards the boys. She looked back, they were sleeping peacefully. But it was sweet that he wanted to check on them before leaving.

  “Yes, they’re fine.”

  He drew her out and partially shut the door then moved her to the sofa. “Sit.”

  She frowned up at him but sat with a sigh. “Saxon—”

  “Joel,” he growled at her. “I won’t keep reminding you.”

  “Sorry.” She blushed. “It’s just that everyone calls you Saxon.”

  “You’re not everyone.”

  She wasn’t? A flush of pleasure filled her even as she attempted to squelch it.

  “I’m not doing this,” he told her.

  Doing what? Having her here? Pursuing this attraction between them? Well, that suited her. She didn’t want this to go any further, right?

  He stood in front of her, hands on hips, irritation filling his face. Crap. How had she managed to annoy him already? They hadn’t even moved her stuff in.

  “Sax—” she stopped at the look on his face. What was wrong with her? That was a small thing for her to remember. “Sorry, Joel.” Jeez, somehow that sounded so intimate. She swallowed heavily. “I’m really sorry if I’ve annoyed you. I’ll just move my stuff in and keep out of your way. I’m sure I can find everything. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done. I’m not sure how I’m ever going to re—”

  “That.” He pointed at her. “That right there. Stop.”

  “Um, stop what?”

  “Stop thinking I require payment. I don’t.”

  “But I have to pay you back. You can’t spend all this money on us and expect nothing in return.”

  “I can.”

  She shook her head. “Then I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s not right. I’m your employee.” And she had to keep reminding herself of that fact.

  “It’s my money. I earned it. I have more of it than I could ever spend. So if I want to spend it fixing your crappy car and buying a couple of pieces of furniture then I will.”

  She ground her teeth together, trying to hold back her temper. “Maybe it doesn’t mean a lot to you, but it does to me. I have my pride and I will pay you back. No matter what you say.”

  “Fine. You know what I want as payment? One night.”

  “One night?” Was this some sort of indecent proposal? “One night doing what?”

  “At the club. As a submissive. Under my protection.”

  Holy shit. She swallowed, feeling a little ill. And excited. “That’s what you want
as payment?”

  “I want you to see what you could have. What you need. So, is it a deal?”

  Was it? What happened to keeping some distance between them? But it was just one night, and she was curious.

  “Sure. It’s a deal.” It didn’t sound like a fair deal to her and she’d try to figure out some way to even things up. It wasn’t right to take without giving back. But if this was what he really wanted . . . well she could stand a few hours in a BDSM club, right?

  He reached down and pulled her up, holding her against him. His green eyes blazed as he stared down at her. “You’re going to have to learn how to accept help, Aspen. Not everyone is expecting payment for a kindness.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “I really am grateful.”

  “I don’t need your thanks.” He ran a thumb over her jawline. “Stop worrying so much. There’s no ulterior motive to my offer. Nobody is going to force you into anything, all right?”

  “And what if they wouldn’t have to force me?” Oh, shit. She didn’t just say that.

  He smiled then leaned down to kiss her. Just a light brush of his lips against hers, but it was enough to stir her, to have her leaning against him, a low whimper escaping as he drew back.

  “When you’re ready for that night, you let me know. I’ll look forward to it.”

  Oh, she was so fucked.

  6

  She was going to vomit.

  Her first day of work. She wasn’t certain what to expect. She grabbed the diaper bag she’d packed the night before then picked up each of the boys. Her arms ached, and she wondered how the hell she was going to manage this each morning. She fumbled as she opened the door and nearly tripped over something as she walked outside. Instead, she caught herself and stared down in confusion at the double stroller sitting on her doorstep.

  What on Earth?

  She spotted a note tied to the handle and she quickly set both boys into the stroller then grabbed the note.