The Energies of Love
Page 48
Rogers, Carl, 144
Romance
brain chemistry and experience of, 114–15
brain structures of love, lust and, 109–13, 116
defined, 109
energies of, 110
his actions and her attitude for cultivating, 129
hormones associated with, 109–11
keeping alive, 127–30
in love stages, 114–15
oxytocin produced by, 127
Root Chakra, 275, 276, 285
in men, 289
in Tantric breathing practice, 277–78
Rosin, Hanna, 7–8
Royal Winnipeg Ballet, 300
Rumi, 346
Sabbaths, 353–54
Sacred sexuality, 271
Safety
foreplay as trust and, 283–84
self-help interventions, 190
Triple Warmer mechanism for, 162–67, 320
Sandwich
Appreciation, 72–73
tapping sequence, 199, 199–201
Schnarch, David, 79, 261–62, 264, 324
on foreplay, 267–68
Scrambled energy, 214
Secondary modes, 38, 39
Second Chakra, 275–76
Secure attachment, 154
in childhood, 151, 153
genetic potential for, 153
techniques for promoting, 170–78
Self
negative comparison to others, 313, 317
reflected vs. solid, 324
wild, 310–12
Self-affirming perspective, 218
Self-comforting, 148
Self-directed neuroplasticity, 314
Self-help interventions, safety of, 190
Self-reliance, attachment and, 156–57
Self-soothing, 171–73
Sensations, learning about each other’s, 267
Sensory styles, 17–43, 46. See also Energetic Stress Styles
advantage of partner having different, 31
development stages, 19–20
distortions resulting from, 22–26
Eden’s ability to recognize, 18–19, 23
in Energetic Stress Style, 21
highs and lows of, 32–37
irreconcilable differences between, 31–32
mottos of, 35–36
out of sync, 30–32
physical testing for, 17–18
Separations, repairing ruptures from, 175–78
Serenade at the Doorway, 300
Serotonin, 111, 117
Sessions, professionally- or self-guided, 228–29
Sex, as energy medicine, 259–97
ancestral programming and, 288–95
arousal differences in men and women, 275–76
asking for what you want, 269
awakening energetic awareness, 282
case histories related to, 286–88
communication and, 269, 282–83
core principles and techniques, 280–85
correcting partner correctly, 282–83
creating desire for, 260–61, 265–71
emotional connection and, 286
energy systems and traditions, 271–80
exploring sexual anatomy, 270–71
foreplay, 267–68, 283–85
healing sexual wounds, 285–88
Heart Chakra and, 270
infidelity and, 288–92
just do it theory of, 263
knowing partner intimately, 270–71
media input and, 280–81
meridians, 272–74
mind during, 285
monogamy and, 112–13, 293–97
“on the make” energies, 107–8
pleasures of slow, 283
problem with techniques for, 264
quickies, 281
saying yes, 260–61
sex life satisfaction, 259, 280–81
sexual attunement, 283
skin on skin activities, 267–71
survey on coerced, 109
talking about energies, 270
touch and, 267–71, 281–82
transformation potential of, 264–65
waning desire for, 261–63
Sex drive
brain structure of, 122–23
hypothalamus and, 120
men’s brain area allotted to, 288–89
Sexual abuse, 286–88
Shakespeare, William, 79, 113
Shamanism, 328, 329
Shame, 208
Sharing
art and nature, 339
creative activity, 341
dream, 329, 351–52
empathic statement, 99
separate paths and, 301
soul excursion, 339
spiritual journey, 327–29
Shaw, George Bernard, 117
Shifting focus, 97–98
Shifting response to partner’s behavioral triggers, 228–35
Shiva, 300
Shyness, 214–15
Siegel, Daniel J., 44, 173, 174, 176, 312, 313, 315
Sixth Commandment, 293, 294
Skin on Skin, 267–71
Slow sex, 263, 264, 283
Soft start-up. See Gentle start-up
Solar plexus chakra, 110
Solid sense of self, 324
Solomon, Marion, 111
The Song of Songs, 294
Sophia, Anaiya, 267, 297
Soul
body and, 330
energies of, 332
marriage of souls, 328
opening to, 338
shared excursions of, 339
spirit and, 330–31
ways of, 336–38
Soulmates, 331–36
Soul Mates (Moore), 336
Soul orgasm, 272
Sound carpet, 19
Spiders, fear of, 206–7
Spinal Flush, 94–96
Spirit
connection with partner and, 344–45
small “s” and, 331, 332
spirit, Latin derivation of, 330–31
Spiritual emergency, 276–77
Spiritual journey, relationship as, 325–55
body-soul connection, 330
entering sacred space and, 339–54
shadows and light in, 340
shared, 327–29
shared soul excursions for, 339
soulmates and, 331–36
soul’s ways and, 336–38
Spirit connection through partner, 344–45
Villoldo-Lobos interview on, 327–29
Spleen points, 85
Spooky action, 112
STAR Pact, 79–106. See also Harmony techniques
Attune, 94–98
commitment to, 104
hardest times to use, 103–4
making pact reality, 103–6
outline, 105–6
purpose of, 81
for repairing ruptures, 176
Resolve, 98–103
Stop, 80–82, 225
Tap, 82–94, 85–93, 225–28
use and benefits of, 104
weekly meeting, 105
Stomach meridian points, 84
Stop, STAR Pact step, 80–82, 225
Storge, 3
Stress. See also Energetic Stress Styles
arousal system stuck on “on,” 312, 316
aura changes under, 37
hormones used to cope with, 124
relationship, 37
sensory modes in, 21
sensory style distortions
during, 22–26
Stress Release Hold, 90, 90, 216
Subconscious, 308
Subjective units of distress (SUD) rating, 195
movie technique for, 193–94
reassessment stage, 201–2
zero rating not achieved situation, 204–5, 206
Super Bowl scenario, 59–60
Swimme, Brian, 3, 290, 296
Sympathetic nervous system, 148
Synchronizing breath, 277
Talmud, 351
Tantra, 276
Tantric sexual practices, 271, 275–76
breath and imagery, 277–78
Taoist sexual tradition, 272, 278
exercises, 273–74, 274
Tap, in STAR pact, 82–94, 85–93. See also Acupoint tapping; Heart Chakra Triple Warmer Tap
Blow-out, 86, 86, 88
Connecting Heaven and Earth, 92–93, 93
Cross Crawl, 93–94, 94
Crossover Shoulder Pull, 89, 89
Crown Pull, 89, 89–90
Four Taps, 84–85, 85
Hook-up, 88, 88
Moving through emotional intensity using, 225–28
Stress Release Hold, 90, 90
Wayne Cook Posture, 91, 91
Zip-up, 87, 87, 88
Tapping. See Acupoint tapping; Tap, in STAR pact
Tarcher, Jeremy, 350
Tatkin, Stan, 111
Tearless trauma technique, 193
Techniques. See Acupoint tapping; Centering techniques; “Do you mean” technique; Emotional Freedom Techniques; Energy techniques
Tell Me What You Want to Hear, 73–74
Tensions, higher purpose in, 341
Tenth Commandment, 293
Testosterone, 109, 123
acts that raise women’s, 129
Cave Hold, 126
energy techniques for producing, 125–27
men’s need for, 124
pregnancy and, 121
restoring, 125
sex drive and, 289
women’s work producing, 124
TFT. See Thought Field Therapy
Therapists, Energetic Stress Style of many, 38
Thought Field Therapy (TFT), 190, 209
founder of, 200
Thought habits
acupoint tapping on, 316–17
avoiding unpleasantness, 313, 317
comparing self, partner or relationship negatively, 313, 317
emphasizing wrong aspects of self, partner, or relationship, 312, 316
stress arousal system stuck on “on,” 312, 316
worrying about future, 314, 317
Thoughts
brain in conscious, 298
positive thoughts about partner, 76
Threat, relationship moments of, 18
Three Chakra Hook-Up posture, 75, 76
Thymus point, 84
Timelessness, 328–29
To Bless the Space between Us (O’Donohue), 346
Togetherness, drive for, 261
Tonal style (auditory), 18
with anxious attachment, 158–59
during argument, 46
distortions, 25–26
interpersonal perils of, 36
motto, 36
partner with, 63–65
positive and negative aspects of, 34–35, 37
therapists as, 38
using strengths of, 50
vulnerabilities of, 50
Touch, 267–71
oxytocin from, 283
preferences for soft or hard, 281–82
Spinal Flush massage, 94–96
Tracing Microcosmic Orbit, 273–74, 274
Tracing repeating patterns, from childhood, 235–41
Transcendental Meditation, 301, 306
Trauma, 190, 207–8, 215
tearless trauma technique, 193
Travel plan itinerary, tapping on, 227–35
Trickle-down effect, 332
Triggers
emotional, 174, 187
partner behavioral, 228–35
Triple Warmer, 162–70
attachment and, 166–67
Heart Chakra/Triple Warmer Tap, 169, 169–70
hold, 169
mechanics of, 162–66
microscopic truth and, 320
neurovascular points, 168–69
retraining, 167–70
Triple Warmer Smoothie, 167–68, 168
Trouble, not wanting to cause, 226–41
Trust, as foreplay, 283–84
Truth, microscopic, 318–23
Tucker, Mary, 3
Tunnel vision, 23
Ulrich, Laurel Thatcher, 7
Undefended Love (Psaris and Lyons), 310–11
Unfinished business, 247–48
The Universe Story, 290
USA Book News, 350
Vacation plans scenario, 52–57
Validating couples, 41, 42, 43
Vasopressin, 111–13, 117
Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice: Hormonal Balance—The Key to Life, Love, and Energy (Gray), 123–24
Villoldo, Alberto, 327–29, 352
Virginia Satir, 52
Virtues, Great, 304
Visual style, 18
during argument, 46
distortions, 23
early development and, 19
interpersonal perils of, 35
motto of, 35
partners with, 57–58
positive and negative aspects of, 32
strengths and vulnerabilities, 47
Volatile couples, 41, 42, 43
Water element, 134–36
Wayne Cook Posture, 91, 91
Wedding vows, 347
“What Was God Thinking?” workshops, 294
Wilderness, lost in, 236–41
Wild self, 310–12
Williamson, Marianne, 264–65, 295, 298, 345–46
Witness consciousness, 304
Women
brains and energies of men and, 107–44
brain size in men vs., 119–20
empowering of, 7–8
hormones in men and, 121, 123–25
infidelity in, 290–92
in menopause, 121–22
oxytocin importance for, 127, 129
pressure to have orgasm and, 280
sex drive in brains of, 289
sexual arousal in men compared to, 275–76
sexual energy meridians in, 272
testosterone increase in, 129
Wood element, 136–38
Woodward, Joanne, 296
Workaholic, 249
World Tapping Summits, 187
Worry, 314, 317
Yin and Yang, 130–33. See also Five elements
“You always discount me!,” 100–102
“you” instead of “I,” 68
Zip-up, 87, 87, 88
Zweig, Connie, 350–51
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