The Energies of Love
Page 47
Good-enough parenting, 159
Goswami, Amit, 112
Gottman, John, 40–41, 66–67, 70, 102
divorce research of, 97
on flooding, 80
soft start-up technique of, 67
Governing Meridian, 272, 276
Grateful Dead, 349–50
Gratitude
cultivating, 70–73
expressing, 72
gentle start-up using, 68
Gray, John, 123–24, 127, 129, 259, 281
Great Virtues, 304
Guides, 348–49
Gunshot wound, 250–51
Habits. See Thought habits
Harlow, Harry, 149
Harmony techniques, 65–78
High-Band It, 73
Harsh start-up, 69
Hartzell, Mary, 174, 176
Harvard Divinity School, 353
Healing
catastrophe aftermath, 218–20
of emotional wounds, 236–47
previous marriage emotional issues, 247–48
of sexual wounds, 285–88
“Healing Journey,” 300
Heart
brain in, 66
emotional information of, 4–5
notice breath, soften belly, open heart, 65–66
Oxytocin Hearts, 126
Heart Chakra, 98
with Acceptance Statement, 198, 198
in sexual energy medicine, 270
Heart Chakra Triple Warmer Tap, 169, 169–70
HeartMath Institute, 4
Heaven Rushing In, 77–78
Hendricks, Gay, 75, 318–20
Hendricks, Kathlyn, 75, 318–20
Heschel, Abraham, 353, 354
Higamous, hogamous saying, 290
High-Band It, 73
High road, 174
Hook-up, 88, 88
Three Chakra, 75, 76
Hoped-for-outcome rating, 242
Hormones. See also specific hormones
bonding, 125, 127
brain maturation, 121–22
his/her, 123–25
of love, 109–13
lust, 109
menopause, 121–22
monogamy, 112–13
obsession-producing, 111
orgasm, 113
romance, 109–11
stress-coping, 124
tending energies and, 127–30
women’s dilemma regarding work and, 124–25
yin and yang, 131–32
Horn, Paul, 299–308
Houston, Jean, 325
Hugs, 77
Hunger, in infants, 148
Hypnosis, 17–18
Hypothalamus, 120, 163
“I” instead of “you,” 68
Illuminata: A Return to Prayer (Williamson), 345–46
Imagery
calendar image, 252–53, 254–55
envisioning relationship change, 248–55
Tantric practice using, 277–78
technique, 255
Individuality, drive for, 261
Infants
brain wiring in, 147–49
energy in secure and insecure, 150
irritable, 159–60
neglected or nurtured, 148
parental attunement of, 160
rhesus monkey, 149
Infidelity
in men, 288–89
overcoming biological programming for, 295
in women, 290–92
Inherited aspects, of love
aligning energetic styles, 44–78
brain and energy differences between men and women, 107–44
defined, 10–11
sensory styles, 17–43, 46
STAR for energy collisions, 79–106, 225–28
Inner guidance, 217
Insecure attachment, in childhood, 151, 153
Integration Sequence, 200–201, 230
Intentions, in conscious partnership
access subconscious mind’s resources, 308
access unacknowledged motivations, 308–9
address internal conflicts, 309
bring up tough topics lovingly, 309–10
focus on beneficial aspects, 309
process past and envision future, 309
staying receptive to partner, 310
Interviews
Horn and Mortifee, 299–308
Villoldo and Lobos, 327–29
Intimacy and Desire (Schnarch), 79
Invocations, prayers and, 345–47
Irritability, in infants, 159–60
“Is Biology Destiny?” (Gasper), 295
James, William, 39, 290
Jealousy, 221–24
Johnson, Sue, 1, 296
Joining Microcosmic Orbits, 274
Jong, Erica, 221
Jump-start, 260–61
Jung, Carl, 5, 39–40, 352
Kabat-Zinn, Jon, 347
Karate chop points, 199
Kidney Meridian, 84, 276
Kinesthetic style, 18
during argument, 46
avoidant attachment countered by, 157
distortions, 24
Eden’s, 157
interpersonal perils of, 36
in men, 39
motto, 36
partners with, 58–60
positive and negative aspects of, 33
prenatal, 19
strengths and vulnerabilities, 48
vulnerabilities of, 48
Kissing
conscious, 268–69
foreplay and, 267–68
Kripalu, 190
Krippner, Stanley, 349–50
Kundalini, 276
Lady Gaga, 299
Late from work conversation, 64–65
Learned aspects, of love
acupoint tapping for new brain chemistry, 184–220
definition and overview of, 11
energies of attachment, 147–78
relationships as growth catalysts, 184–86
reprogramming responses hurtful to relationships, 221–55
Lincoln, Abraham, 54, 335
Lipton, Bruce, 299
Lipton, Judith, 293, 294
Listening
active, 98
attuned, 70
nonjudgmental, 69–70
List making, 44–45
Lizards, mating in, 293
Lobos, Marcela, 327–29, 352
Lost in wilderness, 236–41
Love. See also Energies of love; Inherited aspects, of love; Learned aspects, of love; Mutually created aspects, of love
behavioral systems as governing, 108–9
brain structures of lust, romance and, 109–13, 116
deep and flowing stage of, 117–18
deep/enduring, 109, 111–14
energies of, 337
free love movement of 1960s, 285–86
lust stage of, 114
romance stage of, 114–15
stages of, 113–18
three aspects of, 10–12
transformative nature of, xv
types of, 3
“Love in a Time of Conflict” (O’Donohue), 340
Low road, 174
LSD, 349
Lucid dreaming, 328
Lust
brain structures of love, romance and, 109–13, 116
defined, 109
energies of, 110
hormones associated with, 109
as love stage, 114
Lyons, Marlena, 310–11
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, 301
Maloney, Kate, 334
Marriage
arranged, 114
changing landscape of, 8–10
counselors, 81
economy and, 8–9
healing emotional residue from previous, 247–48
historical eras in relation to, 8–10
Moore on, 336–37
positive-negative interaction ratio in successful, 41–42
purpose of, 301
satisfaction studies, 9
of souls, 328
waning sexual desire in, 261–63
Masculine-feminine balance, 7–8
Massage, Spinal Flush, 94–96
Matched-weight couples, 321–22
Maternal deprivation, 150
Maturation, brain, 121–22
McCartney, Paul, 299
Medicine. See also Energy psychology; Sex, as energy medicine
energy, 6
Meditation, 301, 305, 306, 321
Meeting, weekly, 105
Memorizing, SUD, 194
Memory
in acupoint tapping, 182, 191–95, 220
climactic points in, 194
resurfacing of bullying, 180–82
selection, 192–93
viewing and entering scenes in, 193
Men
brains and energies of women and, 107–44
brain size in women vs., 119–20
hormones in women and, 121, 123–25
kinesthetic, 39
paternity issue for, 292
pregnancy hormones in, 121
problem solving in, 128
sex drive in brains of, 288–89
sexual arousal in women and, 275–76
sexual energy meridians in, 272
vasopressin in, 111–12
Menopause, 121–22
Mental bands, biofield, 21
Mental image
of relationship change, 248–55
technique, 255
Meridians
central, 87, 87, 198, 198, 272, 276, 276
in energy exercises, 83
Governing, 272, 276
kidney, 84, 276
sexual energy, 272–74
stomach, 84
Metal element, 141–43
Microcosmic Orbit, 272, 276
tracing, 273–74, 274
Microscopic truth, 318–23
Mind, during sex, 285
Mindfulness, 313, 347–48
conscious partnership and, 315, 316–17
personal experience of, 180–82
in Tantric sex, 276
website for, 315
Misunderstandings, brain as root of, 122–23
Mixed anxious/avoidant attachment, 153–54, 156
Mixed-weight couples, 321–22
Monkeys, infant, 149
Monogamy, 293–94
hormones associated with, 112–13
monotony vs., 295–97
Monotony, monogamy vs., 295–97
Moore, Thomas, 336–37
Mortifee, Ann, interview with Horn and, 299–308, 344
Movies, watching, 339
Movie technique, SUD rating with, 193–94
Moving through emotional intensity, 225–28
Muller, Wayne, 353
The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know, 271, 274
Mutually created aspects, of love, 259–325
conscious partnership, 298–324
definition and overview of, 11–12
evolving relationship as spiritual journey, 325–55
Sexual energy medicine, 259–97
The Myth of Monogamy (Barash and Lipton), 293
Nature. See Art and nature sharing
NBC, 259
Negative emotions, dismissing, 40–41
Neural feedback loops, 184–85
Newman, Paul, 296
New Testament, 3
New York Times, 259
Nine Gamut Procedure, 200–201
Nonjudgmental listening, 69–70
Norepinephrine, 110, 114
Notice breath, soften belly, open heart, 65–66
No trouble pattern, 226–41
Obsession, hormones associated with, 111
O’Donohue, John, 340, 346
Old Testament, 3, 294
Omega Institute, 190, 327
Orgasm, 271
full-body, 272, 274
hormones, 113
as pressure on women, 280
soul, 272
Outcome Projection Procedure, 242
Oxytocin, 109, 111, 113, 117, 122
career and, 124
energy techniques for producing, 125–27
men’s acts for stimulating partner’s, 129
restoring, 125
romance for producing, 127
testosterone and, 125–27
touch as generating, 283
women and, 127, 129
Oxytocin Hearts, 126
Pact. See STAR Pact
Panic, primal, 166
Parenting
good-enough, 159
infant-parent attunement, 160
Parenting from the Inside Out (Siegel and Hartzell), 174
Partner. See also Conscious partnership; Couples; STAR Pact
acupoint tapping with, 202
attraction to someone else in, 107–8
connection with Spirit through connecting with, 344–45
correcting, 282–83
with digital style, 60–62
earth element, 140–41
fire element, 139–40
five elements and, 143–44
as growth catalyst, 184–86
as guru, 303
kinesthetic style, 58–60
meeting dark side of, 305
metal, 143
positive thoughts about, 76
sensory style differences of, 31
sexual anatomy exploring with, 270–71
shifting response to behavioral triggers of, 228–35
with tonal style, 63–65
visual style, 57–58
water element, 136
when inconsolable, 305
wood element, 137–38
Partnerships. See also Conscious partnership; Energetic Stress Styles; Love; Stress, relationship
best, 9
as collaborative alliances, 79, 106, 321
new age for, 6–10
techniques for keeping harmony in, 65–78
Pascal, Blaise, 337
Passion
creating, 260–61
energies of, 115
Passionate Marriage (Schnarch), 261–62
Paternity, 292
Patience, 218
Patriarchal structure, 7
Patterns, 2
cultural changes and, 7–8
“no trouble,” 226–41
sources of, 6–7
tracing challenges and repeating, 235–41
Penetrating Flow, 110, 279
Perel, Esther, 283, 323
Perpetual problems, 102–3
Personal Mythology (Feinstein and Krippner), 349–50
Phenethylamine, 110
Pheromones, 121
Philia, 3
Physical aspects, acupoint tapping on difficult problem, 207–8
Physics, 112
Playing in Rhythm, 266–67
Positive thinking, 76
Power Point, 342
Prairie voles, 111–12
Prayers and invocation
s, 345–47
Prefrontal cortex, 111
Pregnancy, 121
Prenatal life, 19
Primal panic, 166
Problem, sneaking up on, 219
Problem solving, in men, 128
Professional assistance, 189, 228–29
Progesterone, 121
The Prophet (Gibran), 323
Prostitutes, 268–69
Proust, Marcel, 179
Psaris, Jett, 310–11
Psychological reversals, 209–13, 253–54
Acceptance Statement for, 210–11
Psychology. See also Energy psychology
acupoint tapping on psychological aspects, 207–8
psychological first aid, 216
Psychotherapeutic resonance, 338
Psychotherapy, body’s role in, 182–83, 184
Pumpkin hours, 261
Quantum physics, 112
Radiant circuits, 271, 278–80
Bridge Flow, 126
Rapini, Mary Jo, 281, 296
Rating. See also Subjective units of distress
believability, 244–45, 253
hoped-for-outcome, 242
Ratio of positive to negative interactions, 41–42
Reassessment step, 201–2
Reciprocal breath, 277
Reckoning, disappointment and, 115–17
Reflected sense of self, 324
Relationships. See also Conscious partnership; Couples; Partner; Partnerships; Spiritual journey, relationship as
acupoint tapping and, 184–86
alchemy of, 268, 325–26
attachment style and, 159–60
case history on couple with open, 248–55
deeper levels of all long-term, 329–38
early attachment, 149–51
early imprints, 149–51
Eden-Feinstein’s soulmate story, 331–35
energies of new, stale and renewed, 262
energy psychology improvements to, 187
entering therapy twenty-two years into, 250–52
as growth catalysts, 184–86
mental vision of desired change in, 248–55
moments of threat in, 18
reprogramming responses hurtful to, 221–55
as Spirit portals, 344–45
style, 157–59
tracing patterns from childhood affecting, 235–41
unresolved issues re-created in, 185
wild self vs. tidy, 310–12
Relationship stress. See Energetic Stress Styles
Releasing the Distractions, 265–66
Reminder Phrase, 191, 196, 197, 199–200, 201
adjusting, 203
selecting, 195
Repairing ruptures, 175–78
Requests, combining appreciations with, 129–30
Resolve, STAR Pact, 98–103
accepting outcome, 102–3
“Do You Mean” technique in, 100–102
further inquiry, 100
responding with appreciation, 99
sharing empathic statement, 99
Rest, 353–54
Rhesus monkeys, 149