The Third Best Thing

by Hughes, Maya

  “I didn’t—”

  “You fucking did.” I jabbed an accusatory finger at her.

  “I’m sorry, Berkie.” She ducked her head and peered up at me.

  “You can’t pull that shit with this. I’m not falling for that anymore.” And then it hit me, an even uglier truth I’d pushed aside. “The Letter Girl. That was you. You’re the one who posted the whole thing. That sacrificed her to the damn wolves.”

  “She was hanging all over you in that video. And she was lying. She dated you, lying the whole time about who she really was.”

  “Because she was afraid to tell me. She was afraid I’d be disappointed. But you made all her fears come true. How did you even know Jules was TLG?”

  “Because of that fake ‘let’s be friends’ letter she wrote me the day we met. Who even writes letters anymore? It was so extra and fake, such a try-hard move. I recognized the handwriting.”

  “Jules isn’t fake like that! Were you happy when she broke up with me? Are you happy now?” My words came out like growls, teetering on the edge of feral.

  “No.” Tears shone in her eyes, but I wasn’t swayed by them this time.

  “You need to leave.”

  “Berk, please.” She grabbed onto my arm.

  I shook her off. “No, Alexis. I’ve put up with a lot over the years. I’ve helped you dodge a shit-ton more than I should have…” I raked my fingers through my hair. “But you’re not the sister I thought I had. If you could do this to me… If you could do this to someone I love.” I squeezed out that last word, it was barely a whisper between us. “You’re not the person I thought you were.” And holy fuck, did I ever owe Jules an apology.

  Everything was silent. The only sound in the room, my labored breathing as my mind tried to piece together the betrayal ripping through me. All the music and talking downstairs had stopped. The same kind of pin-drop silence that had accompanied the cop showing up to drag Nix away last year.

  A knock shattered that silence. Keyton opened the door. “Coach is here. He said you need to come with him right now.” The grim look on his face didn’t come near the weighted rock around my neck.

  “I’ve got to go,” I said over my shoulder.

  “I knew it. It was only a matter of time before you abandoned me like everyone else.” Alexis turned the knife a little harder from behind me.

  All I wanted to do was race across the street and tell Jules she was never third in my heart, football didn’t even come close to second to how I felt about her. But even though Alexis thought I’d abandoned her, I knew I’d forgive her. My eyes were opened to her problems being a hell of a lot bigger than I imagined, but she’d always be my sister.

  How could I go to Jules knowing Alexis would be a part of my life? I couldn’t ask her to forgive what Alexis had done. Was it even fair to push another toxic family member onto Jules after everything she’d already been through?

  In twenty-four hours my life had been turned upside down, imploded by my own stupidity. The team’s season, my future, and what was left hung in the balance. I’d done too much to screw all that up already.

  Every eye in the house was on me as I descended the stairs. Coach stood in the open doorway, his gaze locked on Marisa, who stood beside LJ, using him as a buffer between them.

  Coach’s grim gaze locked with mine. “We’re going to sort this out once and for all.”

  * * *

  “Rumors are flying about agents and under-the-table money. Let’s have it out.” Coach glared at me and I resisted the urge to shield my forehead from the incoming scorch mark.

  After a talk out on the porch, I was told to report to Coach’s office at six am. As I was standing outside his door, Johanssen and his coach, Mikelson, stormed down the hallway. We were all waiting for our audience with the judge and jury in my career execution. Drained: that’s what I was. A bottomless pit of nothingness. What was left? Football would be gone in just a few minutes. The dream of finding my mom had come to its own cruel conclusion. Alexis… I didn’t even know where to start with her. But the one piece of my life that made the cavernous void feel like the airless expanse of space was Jules.

  I’d lost Jules—no, not lost—pushed her away. I’d shoved her love right back in her face and let her walk away from me. The burning ache in my chest made it hard to feel anything else. I was empty without her and what I’d lost didn’t compare to that pain.

  “Fighting in the opposing team’s tunnel.” The STFU coach, Mikelson, glared at Johanssen like he was ready to peel the flesh from his bones.

  We sat beside each other in chairs that fit us like they’d been brought in from a local elementary school.

  “Who wants to go first?” Coach sat on the edge of his desk with his arms crossed over his chest.

  Mikelson went with the caged tiger approach, pacing in front of us like we were steaks they’d tossed into his cage after a few skipped meals.

  Johanssen and I tilted our heads, barely acknowledging each other’s existence, neither one of us wanting to go first.

  “Nothing! That’s what you two have for us?” Mikelson spit out. “How about this? How about the two of you are suspended through the rest of the season? All those draft dreams poof…” He wiggled his fingers in the air in front of our faces. “Up in smoke.”

  I kept my lips welded shut, expecting it all to come pouring out of Johanssen.

  But he kept his lips tight. His leg bounced up and down.

  “We had a disagreement.” Each word was tendon tight. Johanssen kept his gaze trained straight ahead.

  “Don’t leave us hanging, boys. Because that’s what you both are right now, like preschoolers getting hauled into the principal’s office. Only you’re not skipping out of here to clap the erasers after class.”

  The grinding from Johanssen’s jaw warred with the bass drum rumbling in my chest. My fingers tingled and my mouth was full-box-of-saltines dry. I licked my lips.

  “Over what?” Coach leaned down trying to catch my eye.

  My gaze darted over to Johanssen. I’d have thought he’d be jumping out of his chair to give every hint of a detail he had, but he didn’t seem to want to be here any more than I did.

  Mikelson got in his face. “You start something and now you don’t want to say a word?” Spittle flew off his lips.

  “Bill, calm down.” Coach grabbed Mikelson and pulled him back. “Why don’t you take a walk and I’ll figure this out?”

  Mikelson opened his mouth, but Coach gave him the look. The one that broke down cocky freshman who thought they’d be playing first string since they were hot shit back in high school. The look that had former players of his, now NFL gods, falling all over themselves to escape the blast zone.

  And without another word, he was gone and we were left alone with Coach. I’d have almost preferred Mikelson.

  “Who’s going to talk first?” His voice was calm and even like it always was.

  “Coach.” I licked my dry, cracked lips.

  “It was over a girl.” Johanssen shot forward in his seat. “He was pissed about a girl I was going for and this was payback.” His gaze cut sideways, skating across mine.

  “A girl.” Even though it was a statement, the question hung heavy with each syllable.

  “Brick’s sister,” I offered, ducking my head.

  “You two were scrapping out in the hallway and you are throwing out accusations about taking money that could have my entire team’s whole season stricken from the record books over the sister of a player, Jason Stringer, who graduated last year? That’s what you’re both telling me? That this was some team code to not mess with another player’s sister gone awry?”

  The seconds ticked by. Each strike of the second hand seeming to rattle the floor under the laser focus of Coach’s gaze.

  “Your pro careers are on the line here. Get your testosterone under control.” He tapped a thick stack of papers against his leg as he leaned against the desk.

  Time slipped away
in front of his gaze. Hours? Was he waiting us out for hours?

  “If that’s what you’re sticking to, then at least now you’ve got your stories straight. You’re not getting out of here unscathed. There will be repercussions and you two had better pray we make it to the national championship or you can kiss your pro careers goodbye. Now get out of here. I’ll let you know once the final punishment has been decided.”

  “Thank you, Coach,” we said in unison and got up from our chairs.

  Mikelson was ready to lay into us but Coach intercepted him, dragging him back into the office.

  The tense energy pulsed in the hallway, repelling us from each other like moving truck-sized magnets.

  Every scenario I’d run, I ended up off the team, my pro career ended before it began. Why wasn’t it? What Johanssen did didn’t make sense. He had me. He could’ve spilled every bit of intel he had, and Coach, being the stand-up guy he was, would’ve reported me. I’d be suspended. Everything I’d worked for demolished.

  But he hadn’t.

  Without even a look my way, he took off in the opposite direction.

  “Thanks, man,” I offered, not even sure if he’d heard me.

  He froze, his shoulders shooting up with his hands shoved in his pockets. “I didn’t do it for you.” Whipping his hands out, he spun around. “I’m always the fucking bad guy, right? Not the cheaters? Not the assholes who do whatever the hell they want. Living it up with all those rich assholes who look down their noses at people like us.” He charged back at me. “Sure hope you like your vacation or new car or whatever other bullshit you spent it on.” He spat the words out like barbs.

  And I got right in his face. “You think you’re the only one dealing with shit?” My voice dropped to a growling whisper. I didn’t need to broadcast my misdeeds all over the stadium. “I took the money. I didn’t spend it on any of that. I spent it on a PI to track down my mom. The one who dropped me off on my ex-con, soon-to-be-lifer dad’s porch when I was seven.” A rolling, grinding anger that I couldn’t hold back shot forward.

  His head snapped back and he stared back at me. The muscles in his neck worked overtime. “Did you find her?” The sincere interest threw me, but I’d learned about letting my guard down around him.

  “Yeah, I found her.” I lifted my chin. “At the Dayton Memorial Cemetery.” The shot at my raw wound deflated my anger and that let the pain right back in.

  “Fuck.”

  I tipped my head back. “That’s been my last few days, so before you go shouting about people doing stupid shit just because they can, think about why someone like me would do something so monumentally stupid. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it, but I had to know.”

  His gaze was trained on the floor between us. “Are you glad you do? Even though the news was shitty?”

  “It’s better than not knowing.”

  There was a beat between us and he nodded. “I guess.”

  And he was gone.

  With the bullet of the century dodged, now it was time to fix the other burning rubble of my life.

  40

  Jules

  My head pounded and I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. I’d promised myself I wasn’t going to cry—much. That crack in my chest had widened to the point that the Grand Canyon looked quaint, but the tears had run dry. Salty trails made the skin from the corners of my eyes to my hairline dry and itchy.

  I hadn’t called Elle. What was I supposed to say? She’d shown up after I’d already left, and sent a text wondering where Berk and I were. I wasn’t surprised he’d bailed after I left, but I hadn’t felt like any company. That was three days ago.

  We were over. I’d broken up with him again, not because of my insecurity but because for once I’d been able to stand up for what I knew was right, so why did it hurt so damn much? I curled into a ball and buried my face in my pillow. The smells of fresh soap and sandalwood hit my nose, the exact scent of Berk right after a practice shower, lounging in my bed.

  But he hadn’t bothered reaching out to try and make things right. He’d chosen a toxic person over me, and I had to stop thinking about him.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to five.

  One: I’m still here.

  Two: I can do this.

  Three: I did the right thing.

  Four: I deserve to be in a loving, trusting relationship.

  Five: The pain will go away—eventually…

  Sitting up straight, I repeated the mantra over in my head. I grabbed my towel and hidden stash of shower gel and padded out to the bathroom.

  Zoe’s door swung open. Nick strode out with a towel around his waist.

  “Not today!” I ducked into the bathroom and closed and locked the door.

  “Come on, Jules. I’ve got class.”

  “Maybe take a shower at your own place,” I called out and put my stuff down.

  “But you’ve got kick-ass water pressure.”

  I let out a huff of laughter. Leave it to Nick to break through the storm clouds hovering over my head with a bout of his ridiculousness.

  My reflection wasn’t doing me any favors in the self-esteem department, but other than the sand bags under my eyes, aching in my chest, and inability to sleep I was right as rain. But I’d promised Avery and Max I’d come in today. Obviously, that had been before the birthday disaster from hell, but it gave me a reason to drag myself out of bed.

  Showered and doing my best human-being impersonation, I made it to B&B, ducking under hanging ghosts, pumpkin garlands, and Christmas lights. Some people just couldn’t hold off.

  “There she is,” Avery called out the second I walked in. “What’s wrong?” She put down her rolling pin and walked over to me, holding onto my shoulder.

  I wouldn’t burst into tears. I would not. I refused.

  The brave face I’d clung onto on the way over was shattered in a second as I grabbed onto her and buried my face in her chest.

  Everything came pouring out once the door to her office clicked shut.

  “His sister sounds like a heinous bitch.”

  “You’re not even half wrong. I thought she was just a bit of a mess at first, but what she did was next-level awful. Not just to me, but to Berk.”

  “Let me tell you from experience, family members like that…” She ran her hand over her ever-expanding bump. “They can poison things between you so easily if you’re not on the same page. And it sounds like he’s still got some things to learn when it comes to her.”

  “It feels like someone’s sawn me in half.”

  “Time. That’s the only cure and even then, sometimes the ache is still there, but you did the right thing.” My eyes filled with tears again at her reassuring arm squeeze. “Sometimes you have to think about yourself and put yourself first. I learned that lesson the hard way. You can’t be everything to everyone all the time and give and give until there’s nothing left of you. And she’d have undermined everything you did, planting seeds of doubt in his head if he wasn’t ready to see what she was doing. You can show people all you want, but that doesn’t mean you can make them see.”

  My shoulders sagged, the power of her quiet reassurance reverberating through me.

  Max burst into the office with a cake knife in her hand. “I thought I heard crying. Who do I need to take out?”

  Avery and I looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

  “I’ve never had many friends, but I like to think I’ve got you.” I looked to Avery and Max.

  Max’s head jerked back when my gaze landed on her. “Me, too?” She pointed the tip of the cake knife at her chest.

  “You did burst in here threatening to disembowel whoever made me cry with that, so I’d consider us friends.”

  “It’s not like I need a reason.” She spun the handle of the knife over the backs of her fingers, looking more badass than anyone should while covered in icing and wearing a tie-dyed bandana over their hair. With a look at me, she squinted and lifted her ch
in. “Yeah, I guess we’re friends.”

  “Don’t hurt yourself, Miss Emotional.” I turned away from her and crossed my arms over my chest.

  The darting blur of her body was the only warning I got before she slammed into my back and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight and rocking me back and forth.

  “You got the squeeze and rock.” Avery whistled. “That means you’ll never be rid of her. She’s like a wart you can’t freeze off now.”

  Max let go of me and glared at Avery, barely keeping her smile in check. “Maybe someone’s worried about being replaced,” she challenged.

  “I’d be happily dethroned, if it meant Emmett and I didn’t have you literally watching us bang.”

  “How was I supposed to know that’s what you two were doing under that desk?”

  The laughing fest only grew from there, but in the background the ache was still there. I’m still here. I’m still breathing. I went through my mantra again.

  We got to work and Max came back to steal food after one of her clients left the shop.

  The cashier poked her head through the door. “You’ve got a visitor.”

  “Not again.” Max threw down her donut.

  Avery and I looked at each other. Max had been a steel trap, locked up like Fort Knox about who her tall, dark, and handsome visitor had been. Every question was met with a glare or a growl.

  “Not you, Max. It’s for Jules.”

  I wiped my hands on my apron. My heart thundered in my chest. As hard as it would be to face him, I’d wondered if Berk would show up. Pushing through the door, I scanned the space beyond the door cases and my eyes widened.

  “Laura? What are you doing here?”

  She had her hands clasped in front of her. “You usually recorded on a Tuesday, so I took a chance that you’d be here. I’ve been meaning to come by for a while.”

  “What do you want to try?”

  “You can pick. I’m sure you know better than me.”