Soulless

by T. M. Frazier

  “Maybe not now. But someday, when you realize he can’t give you the kind of life you really want. A normal life. You’ll regret it then.” He put the car in gear. “And I won’t be here when it all blows up in your face.”

  I looked back at Bear, and even though his eyes screamed rage and murder and every other frightening emotion a person could possibly possess, I saw something else. Something more. Something that told me what Buck was saying was complete and utter bullshit.

  Because where Buck probably saw a criminal with anger issues and violent tendencies.

  I saw a fierce loyalty.

  I saw love.

  “I think there’s something you aren’t really understanding about all this,” I said to Buck, leaning in through the window of the cruiser. I could feel Bear’s disapproval at my back.

  “And what would that be?” Buck asked, his attitude firmly back in place now that he was safely behind the metal of the car door. But he couldn’t fool me. I could still smell the urine on the front of his pants.

  “I needed help just now, someone to protect me, from you of all people, and he was here,” I said, waving back to Bear who stood like an angry stone statue. “Where were you when I needed help, Buck? Not today, but when the grove and my family were failing apart and I needed a friend more than anything? Where were you when I needed you?” I looked back at Bear. “Because I know where he will be when I need him, which is a lot more than I can say for you.” I pushed off the car and took a step back.

  Buck opened his mouth but there was nothing he could say that I wanted to hear. “Bye Bucky,” I said, effectively cutting him off.

  “I almost forgot,” Bear said, stepping in front of me. He reached into the cab of the cruiser, grabbed Buck’s wrist off the steering wheel and pulled his arm out the window. In a quick flash of movement, Bear dropped his elbow down onto the center of Buck’s forearm. CRACK. A scream tore from Buck’s throat, his arm dangling at an unnatural angle.

  His broken arm remained hanging out the window as he drove off. His screams echoed over the small buildings as he raced away, fishtailing across the dirt and disappearing in a cloud of dust.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I said, turning around to meet Bear’s glare. And his sweaty chest. And his eyes that although were dark and angry, seemed as if they could see right through me.

  Suddenly I became very conscious of what I was wearing, pulling down on the short hem of my dress as if Bear were staring at me naked.

  “I told you I’d either break his wrist or end his life if he laid his fucking hands on you. I was being…nice. Now why don’t you tell me why I get out of jail and go to see my girl, only to find that instead of waiting for me like she was told, I find her in a cop car with the fucking law’s motherfucking tongue down her fucking throat?” It started out as an angry question and ended as an angry roar. I swallowed hard. Bear took a step forward.

  I was scared.

  I was turned on.

  I was pissed the fuck off.

  I fought against the need to throw myself in his arms.

  “You should have done what you were fucking told. I’m going to snap that little girl’s neck who should have been fucking watching you,” Bear seethed, running a hand through his hair.

  “I’m not a fucking lap dog,” I snapped. “And Rage is… sleeping.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

  “Rage doesn’t sleep,” he argued.

  I folded my hands behind my back and rocked on my feet. “She does after a cocktail of Dr. Pepper & Ambien.”

  “You drugged her?” Bear asked with disbelief.

  “A little?” I admitted, although it came out as a question. “Why the fuck do you care? You’ve been out of jail for two weeks while I’ve been sitting there waiting and worrying like some love-struck idiot. There are a lot of things you can do to me, Bear, but I won’t have you make a fucking idiot out of me. I won’t.” As strong as I was trying to be, my voice cracked.

  “I’ll deal with you when we get back to the house,” Bear snapped, his words loaded with so many different meanings I trembled with both fear and anticipation.

  “You’re going to deal with me?” I asked. “How are you going to deal with me?” My attitude and confidence faded with each word until the last was merely a whisper.

  “Yes, DEAL with you,” Bear warned, suddenly pausing to take in my appearance. Slowly, from top to bottom, like he’d only just realized I was standing there. His eyelids hung heavy over his sapphire blues as they licked over my body, drinking me in like he was thirsty.

  No, not thirsty.

  Hungry.

  When he licked his lips I could have sworn he was about to eat me alive. I tingled all over. The awareness of him in such close proximity after so long washed over me. Angry or not, my body didn’t care. I didn’t care. I wanted to reach out and touch his face, reassure him that he had no reason to be angry, but part of me liked that I could draw that kind of reaction from him. He came alive when he was pissed, and something inside me loved that he became this primal possessive beast out to remind me who it was I belonged to.

  Bear clenched his jaw and the muscles in his neck tensed and strained. He looked as if he were ready to either kill or fuck. All I knew was that, one way or another, I was about to be devoured.

  I pressed my thighs together, trying to manage the pulsing between my legs, but the contact only ignited it further. Bear chuckled and glanced down to where my ankles were crossed. He closed the gap between us in two short strides, taking me off guard. I stumbled backward, tripping over a lose rock in the road. He reached out and roughly grabbed my arm before I could fall, pulling me flush into his hard chest. His warm skin radiated through my thin dress. I bit my lip, suppressing a moan. My legs grew weaker and weaker as he lowered his head, inching closer and closer, until I was sure his lips were going to meet mine, when without warning he released my arm and spun away. “Get in the fucking truck, Ti,” he called back to me.

  I stood there, unable to move, and trying to catch my breath while he headed over to King’s truck like that moment never passed between us. When he noticed I wasn’t behind him, he growled and stalked back over to me. He grabbed me by the waist, his fingers digging into my skin. He lifted me up, my short dress bunching up over my butt cheeks and slung me over his shoulder like I was a rolled up rug.

  Wack.

  He slapped my ass with his open palm. Hard. The bite of the smack stung where I was sure he’d left his mark. He tossed me into the truck with a caveman grunt and slammed the door behind me.

  I was confused as all hell.

  I was so angry.

  I was also elated.

  I was in lust so hard that I was in physical pain.

  I was really fucking angry.

  I was head over heels in love.

  Motherfucker.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Bear

  I kept my mouth shut during the entire five-minute ride back to the grove. I was too fucking angry to talk. The overwhelming need to both fuck her and punish her occupied every inch of my being. I cracked the joints in my neck and shoulders, trying to find some sort of relief from the agony in both my mind and my aching cock before it was too late and I took it out on Ti… and her pussy.

  When we got to the grove, I told Ti to wait in the truck while I went inside. Rage was rubbing her temples, I assume just waking up from the drug-induced sleep Ti had put her in. If I wasn’t so fucking pissed off that Ti defied me and sought help from that cock-suckin’ cop, I’d actually be kind of impressed.

  “Bear, don’t you fucking start with me, this wasn’t my fault,” Rage said with a groan. “I didn’t know your fucking girlfriend was psycho enough to drug me.” She stood and shook her head from side to side like she was trying to clear the fog. “On a brighter note,”—she stretched her arms over her head—“so that’s what sleep feels like.”

  “I need some time with Ti. Be back tomorrow morning,” I barked.

  “Tomorro
w?” Ti asked from the doorway, again not doing what she was told.

  Bear, Yo bitch be feisty! Me likey. Ghost Preppy chimed in.

  I scratched the back of my neck. “Yes, tomorrow. I have shit to do and I need you here for one more night. Do you think you can listen to me for once and do that one thing for me, Ti, and just stay fucking put?” I turned back around, but Rage was gone. The back door flapped against the frame.

  I guess I didn’t need to tell her twice.

  “Don’t bother, Bear,” Ti said, I turned around in time to see her lips form a straight line as she made her way back down the steps.

  Fuck. My blood started to boil. This was not how I saw this going.

  I caught up to Ti in a few strides, spinning her around and holding her by the elbows. “I’m on the fucking edge of my control right now. If you stop acting like a spoiled brat for two fucking seconds, I could explain to you why—”

  “Why you’ve been out for two fucking weeks but haven’t bothered to contact me? To come for me?” Ti interrupted. Her brows narrowed, the lines of her forehead marring her perfect pale skin. I paused, not realizing she’d known about my release being secluded out in the sticks. “Deputy Douchebag tell you that?” I asked. It wasn’t as if I wasn’t going to tell her about it. I’d come to her as soon as I could.

  And now that I was finally with her, I wanted to choke her.

  While my cock was inside of her.

  “It’s okay, Bear. You aren’t under any obligation to me. You don’t have to protect me anymore. I’m fine on my own. If you don’t want me then…” She struggled against me, but there was no fucking way I was letting her go as her anger turned to sadness. Her voice cracked. Tears sprang to her eyes.

  “You think I don’t fucking want you?” I asked. For a smart chick, she could be dumb as shit.

  She nodded. “Why else would you—” I cut her off and although I knew she was upset, for some reason that only enraged me more.

  “I don’t know, Ti. Maybe because I’m about to go to war with my old man and I had to meet with some of my old brothers who want to fight on my fucking side. Maybe because I think the key to winning the war might be my dead fucking mother who by the way showed up to visit me in County. Maybe because it wouldn’t look good if the first thing I did when I got released was go and see my girl whose parents I confessed to murdering so I thought a week or two to let that shit blow over was the best course of action. Maybe I felt like keeping you out from behind bars and in my sight where I could protect you was a little more fucking important then my raging undying and motherfucking overwhelming need to be with you!” I yelled. I seriously considered shaking some sense into my girl. Ti bit the side of her thumb.

  “You don’t think it was fucking painful for me in there? Not to hear from you? Not to see you? I almost caved and called you a million times, but when I thought about what harm that could cause you…I couldn’t,” I finished, searching her face waiting for some sort of reaction.

  She twisted her mouth the way she does when she’s thinking. The redness in her cheeks faded to pink. Her tensed muscles relaxed under my grip. “Well, when you put it that way,” she mumbled, looking off into the grove and then up at me. “Your mother really visited you in jail?”

  I nodded. “Shot by my old man and tossed into the bushes on the side of the road, and she shows up twenty-five years later to say good-bye to me.” I laughed, because the entire thing was fucking absurd.

  “Where’s she been all this time? And why find you now?” Ti asked. They were the very same questions I’d asked when she’d showed up.

  I shrugged and told Ti how my mom thought that Chop somehow kept her captive, the idea that she’d been drugged all this time, and how Sadie said she wasn’t clear on any of the details.

  “She’s why you have to leave again?” Ti asked, leaning into me instead of away from me like she had been. My cock jumped.

  “Yeah, if she was important enough to my old man to keep locked up all that time, having her in my pocket wouldn’t be a bad thing. We might be able to use her to get to Chop and end all this.”

  “We?” Ti asked.

  “We,” I confirmed, and then I filled her in on the conversation I’d had with the brothers in the yard.

  Ti smiled. “You have a club again,” she said, beaming up at me. Her reaction took me off guard. She seemed happy that I might find my way back into club life, when I thought it would be the last fucking thing she’d ever want.

  I shook my head. “I wouldn’t go that far. I can’t. I don’t trust them anymore,” I admitted. “I’m not trying to run a mutiny. I’m still not a Bastard.” I paused, searching my brain for the right way to explain what I was trying to do. “This is more like banding together for the sake of revenge.” I told Ti the story of what happened to the BBBs and she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

  “Holy shit,” she said, wrapping her arms around me.

  The moment was interrupted when something with fur flew past us in a blur into the grove.

  “What the fuck was that?” I asked.

  “My dog?” Ti asked, squinting against the sun.

  “You have a dog?”

  “His name is Pancakes. Rage named him although I wanted to call him Muffin, or maybe Donut,” she said watching the spot where he’d just disappeared.

  At the mention of donut my thoughts immediately went back to Deputy Dangley Arm. “We’ll talk about the dog later. Right now you just need to listen.” My anger started to boil again. “I told you to trust me, didn’t I?” I asked, squeezing her arms a little too tightly.

  Her eyes snapped to mine. “Yes, and I did trust you. I’m here, aren’t I?” she asked. Her defensiveness only egged me on more.

  “You weren’t here when I found you in town with that lawman’s tongue down your fucking throat,” I spat, and as I remembered looking through the windshield and seeing him practically on top of her, the anger I felt washed over me all over again. I pulled her closer.

  “Bear, let me go!”

  “No,” I growled. “No broken arms next. Next time I break his fucking neck.”

  Ti pulled back again and this time I let her go. “I went there to help you! Bucky kissed me, but I didn’t kiss him back. Deal with it! If you can’t handle it or if you don’t believe me you…you can go fuck yourself!” she said, staring me down. Challenging me. Taunting me.

  I fucking love this girl.

  It was with those words that my anger and lust finally broke free. Any sort of control I thought I had shattered in an instant.

  “I’d rather fuck you,” I said, my own voice rumbling in my chest. Reaching behind her neck, I threaded my fingers up through her crazy pink hair, yanked her face to mine, and crushed my lips to hers.

  MINE

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Thia

  Kissing Bear was like getting a taste of a drug I needed to survive, a drug I’d gone without for way too long. I’d grown weak without it. Desperate. With one press of his lips to mine I went from being a junkie on the streets to a rock star, high on a drug I’d never planned on quitting in the first place.

  Bear moved from my lips to my jaw, “You’re here, Ti,” he murmured when he reached my ear, his lips tickling my skin as he spoke like he still couldn’t quite believe it. He then licked and sucked the sensitive skin behind my ear, nipping it with his teeth. I gasped. He chuckled. I felt all of it deep in my core. “And you’re real. All the things I’ve waited so long to say are fucking useless sentences lost in the back of my mind somewhere, because the only thing I can think about right now is how much I need to be inside you again. How much I need to FUCK you,” Bear said, slowly emphasizing the word FUCK. His words sent a flush of wetness between my legs, my body unaware of any prior argument. Its only awareness was of Bear and what he was doing to me and my body. “This little fucking dress,” Bear said. He reached down and ran his warm palm up the side of my thigh, starting at my knee he, lifting the hem up to my hip alon
g the way, and settling his hand on my ass.

  His blue eyes darkened to a glistening black. The air around us changed, growing thicker, heavier, charged with energy.

  I shook my head, trying to remember my train of thought. Trying to remember why I was so angry at the beautiful creature who at that moment only wanted the exact thing I wanted. So why couldn’t I