Where the Heart Lies

by Amanda Ray

  ◆◆◆

  I spent the night at Lily's house after begging my mom. Typically I’d spend the whole night with my mom and the second the clock struck midnight she would bring me a cake, sing, and we’d cuddle close telling stories and dreams until we- usually me first - would crash. She only said yes because her and Gary were fighting again. She begged him not to ruin my birthday to no avail. A part of me wanted to stay home, to protect her but she practically pushed me out the door telling me to enjoy myself and my birthday. I was nervous but utterly relieved to get away from all the fighting for a night.

  Lily and her mom had set up such an amazing spread for the night, it was like a movie. You know when you see the group of girls at a sleepover, with the big fluffy pillows, cute pajamas and all snacks set out? Yup, that's what they did. Every kind of junk food imaginable was placed on the coffee table by the couches. Fluffy blankets and pillows took up the floor, spread out for us to recline and indulge in the soft clouds.

  We laughed and cried watching rom-com movies, cuddling up on the couch. Lily and I did face masks relaxing on the cloud like floor. Her mom even let us drink some wine in celebration of my birthday. We stayed up the whole night talking about Jeremiah, Chris and hot celebrity guys. We both finally crashed from exhaustion and sugar highs at three in the morning.

  I woke up alone on the couch to the amazing aroma of cinnamon and sugar. It took me a minute to realize where I was as my eyes fluttered open. The quiet was scary at first. It always was whenever I slept out. Is this what other people's homes are like in the morning? Pure bliss? No one screaming or yelling, breakfast being made but letting everyone wake up on their own? I bit my inner cheek to stop the building tears from escaping my eyes. I didn't want to have to explain away why I was crying on my birthday. And just then I realized. It was my birthday!

  I jumped up, shaking off all the bad feelings and reminded myself of all the great things in my life. I was at Lily's. I made it another year and I had this really great guy in my life. Is he my boyfriend? Who knows? But he was in my life. And maybe, just maybe, I could get some answers later tonight.

  I made my way into the kitchen, my eyes going wide at the sight of balloons everywhere. Lily was setting up the table, her mom at the stove making French toast. Deb turned around and I saw pure joy in her eyes.

  "Happy birthday sweet pea!" she yelled in excitement. Lily looked up from the table and charged toward me. She trampled me in the biggest hug and kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday sis!" she squealed, still holding onto me tightly. Now I was really about to cry. Not from being upset, but from being so unbelievably happy in that moment. I fought the urge and found the courage to just say "Thank you" giving them both a smile filled with nothing but love.

  Lily guided me to my seat at the table, flowers placed in front of it and balloons tied to the seat. Her mom, Deb, came over and placed a plate of French toast in front of me pushing the flowers slightly out of reach. She grabbed some whipped cream and sprayed it on top. "Just something extra for the birthday girl" she winked at me.

  "This is too much guys, thank you!"

  "Not possible." Lily exclaimed, skipping over to the counter to grab something. She handed me a card and a bag.

  "What is this? You already gave me a gift."

  "So!" She snapped, "I'm allowed to give you as many gifts as I possibly want. You're allowed to be spoiled Freya."

  My shy smile hid the butterflies swarming around in my stomach. I've never had someone want to spoil me quite like Lily. She always had my back and she never made me feel guilty if I didn't have money or nice clothes to go somewhere. Lil was always the first one to offer up her closet for me to borrow clothes or throw down money if I didn't have enough. She never took money when I tried to pay her back but I always made sure that when I had something she didn't, I shared it with her. I looked back up and smiled at her, inching my fingers into the bag.

  On top of the gorgeous lace black wedge heels and the double chocolate cupcake she had given me the day before at school she spoiled me with more. As I looked inside, I came across two small boxes, a clear take out container and a card. I looked up at her with a grin anxiously awaiting what was inside. I chose the take out container first. Inside was a giant piece of one of my favorite desserts. Lemon Meringue Pie from Ray's diner. They make the absolute best. The perfect combination of crush, filling and over the top on meringue. The whole piece took up the entire container and I smiled so big you could see all of my teeth.

  "Oh My God! You did not!" I said examining the piece of pie. She giggled.

  "Of course I did," she smiled. "I'm glad that the pie is the thing you're most excited about." she laughed again. Lily knew how good it was and I could see on her face that she couldn't wait for me to open it because she was dying for a taste too. I placed the pie on the table and reached back in for the card. I opened it to see two long paragraphs written on the inside. I swallowed hard knowing that I was going to cry reading it. I looked up at her and turned the card around, forcing her to look at her long words. She grinned, nodding telling me to start reading and sure enough the tears started flowing. I sat up and grabbed her in a big bear hug. Her words, sweet and delicate, warmed my heart and made the tears flow at our memories. "I hate you." I whispered, smiling.

  "I love you, too." she said laughing and pushing me away from her. "Now keep opening!" her excitement was making me anxious to see what else she had spoiled me with. I sat back down and started on the bigger of the two boxes. My eyes shot up wide and my mouth dropped open. A glistening silver bracelet displayed neatly in the box and a pendant attached at the bottom stole my gaze. I grabbed the small pendant in my fingers examining it closer. It was a heart with tiny diamonds surrounding it. A pit in my stomach formed. It was so beautiful. Too beautiful. I ran my thumb over the heart and squinted a little to read what was written on it.

  Sisters.

  I looked up at her with tears building in my eyes. Before I could even say anything she thrust her wrist at me and dangling from it was the same piece of jewelry laying in my hand.

  "We match!" She squealed. "Now come on keep opening. Lets go slowpoke!" Lil hit the table egging me on to open up my other gift. I placed the bracelet on the table and grabbed the other box. I looked up at her raising an eyebrow. I opened the box, in it an equally stunning necklace. Placed perfectly on a white cushion was a heart necklace with an infinity sign intertwined in it. Behind it read:

  Sisters in our hearts and in life forever and more. Thank you for being my unbiological sister.

  Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Lily grabbing something around her neck and I didn't need to look up to know that we were matching with this too. I couldn't fight the tears back anymore. They poured down my face and I jumped up from the table to grab her. Squeezing her tightly.

  "Freya. I can't breathe."

  "Sorry," I chuckled letting her go. "Thank you so much Lily. I love them. I love them so much! I'm never going to take them off!" I reached down, grabbed the bracelet and started putting in on my wrist. Without hesitation Lily grabbed the necklace and helped me fasten it around my neck. I grabbed the pendant on it as it fell around my neck mesmerized by its beauty and by what it stood for. I smiled and pulled her in for another hug.

  "Ok enough." Lily rolled her eyes, grabbed my hand and forced me to sit back at the table "Let's finish so we can start getting ready."

  ◆◆◆

  We took our time showering, being sure to shave everything and not miss a spot because of course, we could be silky smooth since the boys were coming over. I walked into Lily's room, she was already dressed in a bright red bikini. It hugged every inch of her body and had a cute bow in the front showcasing her cleavage. It's thick straps covered her hip bones giving her the perfect illusion of curves. I sat on the bed in a towel, rubbing lotion all over my clean shaven skin. As if reading my mind she asked "What are your options?" She could always read me and without a doubt knew I couldn't decide between two bathing sui
ts. I showed her my choices, a black one piece with skinny straps and a scalloped top to give the illusion of bigger breasts and a deep olive green bikini with ruffles at the top enhancing what little cleavage I had but hugging all of my curves.

  "Wear the green one! It'll make your skin color pop and it hugs all of your curves!" she demanded coming over and patting my butt, giggling as she walked over to the mirror. I put on the bathing suit and stared at myself in the mirror running my hands over the smooth bathing suit. I really did look good, for the first time in who knows how long I felt really good. I jumped a little when I heard the door bell ring. My head shot up with a smile wondering who it could be. Before I could even go through the list of possibilities I heard a familiar voice.

  My mom's voice.

  My legs instantly started working and I ran down the stairs to go meet her.

  "Happy birthday sweetheart" My mom threw me a giant smile.

  "Mom!" I yelled running toward her. It had only been one night but it felt like so much longer. I ran into her arms giving her a huge hug.

  "Where's Gary?" Deb, Lily's mom asked closing the door behind her.

  "Oh, he can't make it today. He has to work." my mom said nonchalantly trying to avoid any further questions.

  "Well that's ok. It'll be just us girls then," Deb gave my mom a wink. "Come on now, let's go get ourselves some wine". Deb took the gift bag from my moms hand and I reluctantly let her go. As I stepped back, my big smile turned into a deep frown. My stomach dropped to the floor and tears started to invade my eyes. Before I could even open my mouth to say anything my mom grabbed my chin, "I'm ok honey, it's nothing to worry about. I promise!" I raised my eyebrow at her.

  Nothing to worry about? Is she crazy!

  She has a black eye!

  Another one!

  I went to open my mouth again and she cupped my cheek. "Sweetheart, today is your special day. I don't want anything to ruin that ok? Look. I'm fine!" She started to dance around, laughing and giving me an amused look. I shook my head and smiled at her. I can drop this. For now.

  I followed my mom into the kitchen watching Deb stand at the island with a glass of wine. She handed it to my mom and smiled. "Come on, lets go be some old farts and lounge while the girls finish getting ready, hmm?" She looked back at me and winked. I smiled and headed back upstairs. I didn't even make it all the way into the room before Lily asked "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing." I was mad at myself for not holding a better poker face. She looked me up and down as if waiting for me to give in and tell her. "Everything is fine!" I said a little too aggressively, but I just wanted her to drop it. "Ok," she huffed, throwing her hands up as if blocking the words I had spit at her.

  "What time are the boys getting here?" I asked, trying to change the subject. She rolled her eyes and turned to the clock. "In about a half hour I think. Chris told me yesterday that he was going to get Jeremiah and be here by twelve," she chuckled, "Let's see if he keeps to his word." I smiled and continued to get myself ready. I put on my bracelet, necklace and anklet. I threw my mess of curly brown hair up in a bun and found my shades. We grabbed towels and glasses of water making our way out of the house into the backyard.

  I stopped in the doorway and admired the spectacular view. Deb had set everything up so wonderfully like she does every year. There were lounge chairs for us to sunbathe on by the pool with towels already draped across. At the cabana, she set out drinks and little platters of food for us to snack on. The speakers surrounding the house were playing the latest radio hits and the pool had a ton of floats for us to sit on, if we pleased and the volleyball net was set up. I smiled and took an appreciative sigh. I made my way over to my favorite lounger and threw my feet up admiring my perfectly painted toe nails that Lily did for me last night. I closed my eyes basking in the heat and drifted off with the warmth of the sun all over my body.

  Chapter 5

  The sound of the music and the water moving with the slight breeze were beyond relaxing but I was soon knocked out of my blissful state by Lily's screams. I blinked my eyes a few times to let them adjust to the sunlight, trying to wrap my head around the scene in front of me. Two boys. One holding her hands and one holding her feet, swinging her at the side of the pool. I sat up just in time to get a perfect view of them letting her go and watching her small body go flying into the water. The water rippled and splashed everywhere. Within a second she was back at the surface yelling "I Hate You!" throwing her soaking strawberry hair out of her face. I jumped up from the lounger watching Chris and Jeremiah stride toward me with huge grins on their face. I hastily looked around trying to plan my escape route. How did they get back here? How did I not know they were here? I wasn't even given any time to think before my arms and legs were grabbed.

  They swung me back and forth preparing my body for the departure into the water. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw my mom and Deb at the cabana laughing, sipping wine as if nothing was going on in front of them. As if seeing their daughters being thrown into the pool was nothing to look up from their wine glasses for. No, they thought it was funny. They thought that this was typical for boys to do. Soon enough my body was released from the right grip and I felt the rush of air fly through my hair.

  BAM!

  My body hit the water and I was beyond grateful that my lungs instinctively took a full breath of air before I was plunged under. I relished my time under the water, the peacefulness and quiet that the water held calmed my body in a way I could never describe. I opened my eyes, filling them with chlorine, to see the fuzzy images of two boys standing at the edge of the pool.

  "Jerks!" I heard Lily yelling as I peaked my head out of the water. I wiped my eyes and saw Chris bending down next to the pool to give Lily an apology kiss. She leaned up attempting to meet his lips, grabbed him and pulled him into the pool. I laughed a big belly laugh, I looked up to see Jeremiah laughing too. I pushed myself up out of the pool and stood at the edge dripping wet.

  "And where do you think you're going?"

  J laughed at my question. "Oh you know, just making sure I get a good run in." Confused at his statement I raised my eyebrows but before I could ask him what he meant his shirt was thrown off and he was running toward me. He grabbed me by my waist and threw us both into the pool. We floated up moments later, my arms hitting his chest in protest.

  "I hate you, you jerk!" I said between laughs, spitting water at him. J frowned, getting so close to my face that I could feel his hot breath. "Do you really?" His breathing was heavy from my assault and my body tensed at his words. I stared into his deep pool of greens, he stared back at me. Lust filling his eyes but it was more than that, he looked a little... hurt. As if he thought my words were true. As if he was trying to gather if I really did, indeed, hate him. A smile turned the corner of my lips as I shook my head. Jeremiah tightened his grip on my waist and smiled. It was then that I realized that he had been holding me up, my legs wrapped around him like a chimp, while he was holding onto the edge of the pool.

  "Are you guys done yet?" Lily said, rolling her eyes. I smiled up at her nodding. She returned my smile before squealing, "Let's play chicken!"

  ◆◆◆

  We were screeching at the top of our lungs, grabbing each other's hands and pushing our hardest to knock each other over. The boys egged us on, telling each of us to push harder and knock the other one down. Lily and I were laughing so hard I wasn't even focusing on Jeremiah's big hands holding on to my thighs. Our bare skin touching one another's. Normally that would send chills up and down my spine and have butterflies swarming in my stomach but given the circumstances my thoughts were elsewhere - namely focused on taking Lily and Chris down. I swayed back and forth trying to throw her in the water but she countered me regaining her balance. Lily looked over my shoulder and her face turned completely pale. I grabbed my chance, not paying attention to her shock and threw her down into the water. Her body made a huge splash making Jeremiah and I laugh high-fiving each other in victory.r />
  Lily reached the surface and didn't pay any attention to Chris' pout over their loss. She quickly made her way to the edge of the pool and got out. We all looked at each other dumbfounded, confused about her sudden change in behavior.

  "Who is that?" Chris asked, pointing behind me. I turned around as best I could suddenly realizing that I was still on Jeremiah's shoulders. I tapped him telling him to release me and jumped up out of the water to get a better view of the figure embraced in Deb's arms. Still unable to see, I shrugged at Chris' question.

  "I'm going to go get a drink and find out," I finally replied to Chris after a few minutes, my curiosity getting the better of me. Grabbing a Pepsi from the cooler by the lounge chairs I began my descent to the Cabana where Lily and the tall figure were. As I got close, the figure became more recognizable. I nearly choked and spat out my drink.

  It was Jesse!

  Jesse! Lily's older brother.

  Jesse the boy I used to have a ginormous crush on when I was little. My first crush ever.

  Jesse is five years older than us. He moved out of the house when he was just sixteen, wanting to travel the world and rebel against anyone and everyone. Deb had him when she was really young, his deadbeat biological father left when he found out Deb was keeping the baby. Lily's dad, Ed, met Deb a few years later and raised Jesse as his own. I hadn't seen him since he left, other than the occasional stop by for holidays. Which, let’s be honest, he would eat and then leave. It's like he was a blur in the wind. The last time I actually did see him -for a split second at a thanksgiving dinner - he blew past me so fast I didn't even remember what he looked like.