So Wrong So Right

by Erica Marselas

  “Abbs…” Tamara gasps as she and Sandy appear behind me in the mirror. “You look amazing. If Colin doesn't faint or cry like a little bitch, I might have to hurt him till he does.” I spin around to face my best friends, who have both changed into what they said were their ‘bridesmaid’ dresses, which are beautiful floral sundresses.

  “Yeah, and I will too. But damn, Abbs, you're making me want to run off and get married. You're like a princess,” Sandy coos with an extra bright smile on her face. I love these girls and I’m still not sure what I would do without them.

  “I'm so nervous,” I admit and hold up my shaking hands. “I'm excited like my heart is pounding out of my chest.” I didn’t feel like this till I put the dress on and I'm less than an hour away from getting married. Why do I have to freak out now?

  I just need to see him. That’s all this is.

  “I think that's normal. I mean you're about to say I do and commit to one man for the rest of your life.” Tamara shrugs. “It’s got to be nerve-wracking for any woman. I mean only one dick for the rest of your life. Looking at the same face every day. What if he has this terrible habit like scratching his ass and then sniffing his fingers?”

  Gross, Tam. I would kick Colin’s ass if he ever picks up that habit.

  “Tam! Cut it out!” Sandy whacks her in the arm, laughing. “Besides the ass sniffing it’s all good. You’ll be fine and, like you said, it’s probably more because you're excited.”

  “You guys really think I can do this? Be a wife?” I question because technically we don’t even have to get married now because my mom is letting me stay with my dad, so I have an out. But the thought of not getting married today only makes my heart dance faster and makes me woozy.

  Taking a deep breath, I remember why I want this. I love him. We’re having a baby and we should be our own family and wipe away the step-sibling thing. He’s truly the one dick and the one face I want to look at forever.

  Yes, I want this.

  I bite my lip and suddenly feel a rush of glee and excitement run through me. “I’m getting married,” I chirp and bounce on my feet.

  “And speaking of that, we should go or we’ll be late,” Tamara says, which is followed by a knock on the door.

  Someone’s ears were burning.

  I open the door and come face to face with my dad who is dressed in a blue Armani suit, looking dapper. He steps into the room and smiles at me, pulling me into his arms. “You look beautiful, Abigail. I can’t believe how grown up you look. It still feels like yesterday I brought you home and now—” He drifts off from his reminiscing, pulling away to hold me out at arm's length.

  “I think we need to give you two a moment.” Tamara grabs Sandy’s hand and pulls her to the door. “And just remember, Abbs, I doubt your mascara is waterproof, so leave the crying to Big Poppa.”

  My dad shakes his head and chuckles. “Tam Tam, go,” he points to the door and Tamara's mouth makes a little ‘o’ shape.

  “You haven’t called me that since I was seven.” She wipes a fake tear away. “I’m going to cry now.” She blows us a kiss and my two crazy friends are out the door.

  “I do miss those days, you three playing on the floor with your dolls. You used to pretend to get married and have one of the boys play husband.” I giggle at his trip down memory lane. Those were some good old days, days where I thought boys had cooties. “I was always so proud when you refused to kiss them in your 'I do’s.' Now I have to watch you do it for real. Are you ready?”

  “I think so. Are you?” I tease, knowing he looks cool as a cucumber right now, but I bet he’s experiencing inner turmoil about giving up his only daughter at sixteen to a guy he barely knows.

  “No. But I don’t think I have any choice.”

  “No, I don’t think you do.” I hug him again, tightly. I owe him so much right now and I’ll always be so grateful for being here for me when I needed it the most. “Thank you, Daddy.”

  He lifts my face and kisses my forehand. “I would move the world for you, Abbs. I know I haven’t been there for you a lot, probably when you needed me the most, but I’m here for you now. I promise.”

  “I know. I love you,”

  “I love you too, pumpkin. Now, let’s get you married.”

  “Daddy?” I call him back, stopping him from making his exit. I twist my hands anxiously in front of me, knowing if I don’t ask him what’s weighing on my mind now, I won’t ever relax today.

  “Yeah?” His eyes squint, concerned as he looks me over. “What’s wrong?”

  “Have you talked to Mom lately?”

  “I have. I went by the house to see her before I picked up the girls.”

  “How is she?”

  His lips twist and I can tell he's unsure of how to tell me what he knows.

  “Please. It's bugging me like crazy. Sandy said she had a black eye and I know you've been holding information for my sanity, but I need to know.” I beg for him to put me out of my misery. I need to know if she's truly okay.

  “She has a couple of noticeable bruises. But the good thing is after we talked to her on Friday she did call the cops.”

  Maybe that explains why she hung up on me so fast.

  “He was arrested for domestic abuse, but unfortunately he’s already out. Your mom has a restraining order on him and she was also able to file one for you. My friend, William, has kept an eye on him. He was at work this morning, so hopefully, it means he’ll stay away. She also mentioned trying to get him for child abuse, but unless you admit to it, there’s not much they can do till they investigate.”

  I cringe at the thought of having to admit to what Victor did and having to wonder if they would even believe me.

  “That’s good. I guess that’s what she meant when she said she would keep him away. But I feel restraining orders only go so far?” A piece of paper keeping away a crazed lunatic? I don't think so. “And it doesn't do anything for Colin. He's not protected.”

  “Colin will need to file his own if he wants, but when are the two of you not together?” My dad raises an eyebrow, and I raise mine back.

  “Umm. Right now?”

  “Well, you have my word that he's okay. Right now, you can relax a bit because if Victor comes within five hundred feet of you or your mom he’ll get his ass sent to jail. He’d be smart to stay away.” My dad grunts, and clenches his fist. A flash of something dark crosses his eyes, a look I've seen in Colin's eyes before; he's thinking about how to take care of Victor is own way.

  “But he’s not smart.”

  “No, he’s not.” My dad chuckles, and puts his arm around me, moving me to the door. “Come on, we can talk and walk.”

  We get to the bank of elevators and he pushes the down button. “I know as much as anyone that it doesn’t always seem like the law is on your side or does anything to help, especially in these situations. But right now, all we can do is try to believe it will work.”

  “I hope so,” I murmur, as the large metal doors open and we step inside.

  “Do you think I should tell her I'm getting married today?” I chew on my nails, conflicted if I should do it before or after. She can't stop me now anyway, but I feel like she would have wanted to be here in light of everything. I had always pictured her being there on my wedding day, maybe dealing with my bridezilla ass, or helping me pick out a wedding dress, and holding my hand through it all.

  At least I had Naomi.

  “That's up to you, pumpkin. You can tell her now or later or not at all. I'll support you either way.”

  “I’ll do it after,” I resign, or maybe I'll just leave it to Dad to do when he drops Tam and Sandy off. I hate for her to tell me again that I've disappointed her or she isn't happy with me and ruin today by bringing me down.

  “Alright. You don’t have to do anything till your ready Abbs.”

  “Where's Colin?” I ask, changing the subject abruptly. I'm now even more desperate to see him.

  “At the courthouse, waiting
for you.”

  “Damn, your man can wear a suit.” Tamara whistles through her teeth as we approach the glass doors of the clerk's office. Colin is standing next to Naomi, holding a bouquet of colorful flowers and hasn't spotted us yet.

  “Yeah, he can.” I can't even remember the last time I've seen him wear one. Maybe our parents' wedding? But god damn, the way his black slacks hug his crotch, defining the goods he's packing inside… If he would only turn around, so I could see his ass. I have a feeling I'm going to want to take a bite out of it. Not to mention the jacket is tight around his arms, accentuating his biceps. I'm melting along with my panties from how hot he’s making me.

  Clean up on aisle 4.

  I'm waiting for the moment we get back to the hotel and he fucks me over the desk, still wearing his suit. I could be like his naughty secretary.

  “Oh, we lost her. Someone call the medics,” Sandy teases yanking me out of the daydream I was having.

  “I'm here. Hush.” I wave her away. “Let's just get inside.” So, I can jump into my man’s arms and suck his face off. Though, I think I might have some complications doing that in this dress.

  “What are you ladies doing standing around?” My dad says from behind us. He passes us, eyeing us curiously as he moves to the door.

  Just admiring the view of my future husband. Don’t mind me.

  “Just waiting on you,” I tell him with all the sweetness I can muster up. I’m hoping he won't comprehend I was just lusting over my future husband, and my friends were being the perfect bridesmaids by cleaning up the drool. I wrap my arm around his and tug him to the door. “You need to give me away, remember?”

  “I remember.”

  The opening of the door causes Colin's head to turn in our direction. Our eyes meet, and it's like I'm in a movie and the slow-motion feature has turned on as I watch his reaction to seeing me.

  He hands the flowers to his mother, and his eyes trace over my body as walks over to me. His mouth pops open momentarily, before the biggest smile I've ever seen splits across his face. The blue in his eyes brightens with every inch he gets closer, our bodies drawing together like magnets.

  When he gets to me, I release myself from my father, who mutters something to Colin, but I can’t make out what. My head is still in the clouds as I take him all in, knowing he’s going to be mine forever.

  They shake hands and then I'm gathered in Colin's inviting warm arms. “You look—wow…" He shakes his head, his eyes taking in the whole picture of me again. “You look amazing, baby. How did I get so lucky?”

  “I was asking myself the same thing.”

  His lips connect with mine instantly taking the rest of my breath away. This kiss reminds me of the first time; brand new, making my legs turn to jello, and feeling like I'm flying from the absolute joy shooting out of me. We haven't said our ‘I do’s’ yet, though, in this moment, we’re solidifying our lasting commitment together. Our own personal vow to each other that we will love and cherish one another till the day we part from this earth.

  We will spend our days dancing in heaven because hell is officially long gone.

  As I float back down to reality, I can hear my two best friends hooting and whooping and sense my dad is possibly having an aneurysm. We break apart, turning to the people who support us and laugh.

  In my ear, Colin's honey voice rings, “We should probably leave that for the honeymoon.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” I say, not keeping the giggle out of my voice.

  “Colin.” Naomi hands him back the bouquet of flowers, and he hands them to me. I put the assortment of purple lilies, pink roses and yellow daisies to my nose and inhale.

  “Every bride needs a bouquet.” Colin kisses my cheek. “I love you, Abigail. Forever,” he whispers, reinforcing in words what our kiss just confirmed.

  “I love you, too. Always.”

  “Awww. My teeth are hurting, Abbs,” Tamara says, bumping my shoulder.

  I nudge her shoulder back. “Do you mind? We are having a moment?” Though, I find it hard not to laugh at my obnoxious, moment-ruining best friend.

  She chuckles and shakes her head. “Nope. I don’t mind at all. I could tell you were about to suck face again, so it was for your big poppa’s sanity and for the other parties here.”

  I glance up and see my dad rub his temple. Naomi smiles, keeping a laugh away and whispers in my dad's ear. He shakes his head, and puts his arm around her, whispering back to her. I must just be high in the getting married moment because they’re growing on me with how damn cute they are right now.

  Sandy groans, moving into our little pow-wow circle. “You'll have to excuse our friend. She has no filter, but we love her still.”

  “Oh, I know all about Tamara,” Colin smirks, giving me a wink, as his arm slides around my waist. “I'm glad you both could make it.”

  “Know about me, huh?” Tam narrows her eyes at me. “We’ll be talking later, ma’am.” Her glare relaxes as she looks at Colin and smiles. “Thank you for telling us. Me and Sand would never miss this day for anything. Our girl is getting married.”

  “Miller-Wagner,” a rough voice calls from the side door.

  “That's us,” Colin calls back and glances down at me. “You ready?”

  “As I'll ever be.” I beam up at him as we move to the door. My family and friends follow close behind.

  A middle-aged man with graying roots and wearing a black robe with a small stack of papers in his hands looks at us. His smile wrinkles the corner of his lips and he puts out his hand for us to shake.

  “I'm Judge Franklin Reed, and you two must be Abigail and Colin. Shall we?” He waves us into the room after I drop my hand from his.

  We step into the ceremony room and move in front of the podium. Beside us in the front row, everyone stands. The girls are already crying before we've even started. Great, they are going to make me cry. I turn away from them and look to Colin, but seeing him smile at me like I’m the only person in the room doesn’t help keep the tears at bay.

  “No crying, baby,” Colin whispers and rubs the tears that have pooled in the corner of my eyes.

  “It’s hard not to.” I bite my lip trying to hold in my tears and my laughter. “We’re really doing this.”

  Colin leans in to kiss me and Judge Reed clears his throat. “Not yet you two.” We glance over at him and he chuckles softly. “I find myself saying that a lot these days. Now, are you two ready? I promise it will only take about five minutes.”

  “Ready,” I say, bouncing on my feet with excitement, while my heart races and Colin takes both of my hands in his.

  “We are gathered today to join these two people in the loving bonds of marriage. To make your marriage work it will take love.” Judge Reed reads from the ceremony vows we had picked. “Love should be the fundamental part of your marriage. Love is the reason you both are here. But it also will take trust, dedication, and faith to stay open to one another; to learn and to grow together even when this is not always so easy to do.”

  Colin and I snort a laugh, both on the same wavelength. We both still have a lot of growing to do together, but it will be an adventure for us, filled with stubbornness and annoying the shit out of each other. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

  “You never know what tomorrow will bring.” Judge Reed says, counting his speech of words that hold so much truth between us. “And finally, it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey, you both now pledge to share together.” He pauses and flips the page of his book. “Do you Colin take Abigail to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you swear in the presence of those gathered here you will love, honor, cherish and comfort her, in good times and bad, forevermore?”

  “I do. Pour toujours et toujours, bébé.” Forever and ever baby. He blows me a kiss and winks. The words I do were enough to make me tear up, and now sweet nothings in French. Yep, I’m a goner!

  Way to make me a puddle right now, Colin!

  “Do you Abigail take Col
in to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you swear in the presence of those gathered here you will love, honor, cherish and comfort him, in good times and bad, forevermore?”

  “I do. Orevermorefay.” I utter in pig Latin, the only language I know which was taught to me by my father. I glance his way for a half second and see him get a good chuckle out of it. I turn back to the guy who is seconds away from being my husband, who is shaking his head at me. “What? If you can try and woo me, I can do the same.”

  Judge Reed has us exchange rings. Colin slips a gorgeous white gold band, encrusted in diamonds on my finger then places a kiss over it. I pick up Colin’s black titanium ring, I managed to pick out the other day, and slip it on his left finger, place a kiss over his too.

  “May you always share with each other the gifts your love brings,” Judge Reed recites and Colin rubs his hand over my stomach; the biggest gift of all that we share. Crap, the tears which were stored in the corners of my eyes, now fall.

  “Awww…” Tamara and Sandy swoon, but I ignore them and continue to stare at the man whose eyes are watering.

  Holy shit, is he going to cry now?

  “May you always create a home together to share your love, generosity, and kindness. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

  Colin grabs me by the waist and dips me. I laugh freely at his antics, while everyone claps for us. His lips finally meet mine—now officially under the law, joined together as one. We’re no longer step-brother and sister, no longer needing to hide, and now free to let everyone know we love each other. This is the start of our journey. When he lifts me back up, we break apart, but Colin keeps me in his arms.

  “I love you, wife.” The water I saw in his eyes, finally falls down his right cheek.

  And there it is ladies and gentlemen, a tear. A good to honest tear—yes, single—slipping from Colin Wagner’s eye. It might not be waterworks, but this girl will take it.

  I lean in and kiss away the fallen salty tear. “I love you too, husband.”