Happily Never After

by Sonya M Black

  ***

  By morning the rain had stopped leaving the road thick with mud. Ella grumbled to herself when she saw the puddles glistening in the bright sun. Its warmth would soon dry them up, but until it did, the road would be very messy. It appeared she and the rest of the party would have another grimy day of traveling. They mounted their horses, and Corlain admonished them to hurry and not make a sound until they reached the main road. Ella felt the hair on the back of her neck rise again as soon as the inn was out of sight. She hunched her shoulders and glanced around, trying to determine whom or what was watching them. Jarret rode beside her, eyeing the trees and undergrowth with the same distrust. A loud harsh cry reverberated between the trees, causing the horses to start. Ella’s reared back, dumping her unceremoniously in a puddle and covering her in a thick coating of muddy, mucky moss and debris. The horse took off down the road, whickering nervously.

  Jarret, Corlain, and Amaliea fought to control their horses, as they stamped, shied, and tried to follow their friend down the road to safety. The guttural scream turned into a loud roar as the largest, ugliest beast Ella had ever seen jumped into the road. She froze halfway to standing up from the puddle as she took in the beast. It had dark-green skin that looked bumpy and leathery like it belonged on an alligator, with yellowed tusks protruding from its lower jaw, pointing upward and forcing its lip to roll out, and spittle dripping down its chin. Animal pelts were draped around its thick body like clothing and belted on with thick braided cords. Its small, beady black eyes focused on Ella as it let out another roar. It reached out a huge, clawed hand, grabbed her, tossed her over its broad shoulder, and ran back into the trees. Ella screamed, feeling the breath rush out of her as she slammed into the creature’s shoulder. She heard Jarret and Corlain shouting at the beast, their cries disappearing the farther Ella and her captor travelled into the woods.

  She covered her nose and mouth in disgust from the smell wafting up from the creature’s body. It was all she could do to keep from vomiting as her stomach bounced into the creature’s shoulder with every jolting step. She opened her mouth to scream again, hoping to alert her friends to her whereabouts, when the creature shifted her around and clamped a meaty hand over her mouth. It glared at her, shaking its head as it dragged her farther into the forest. It carried her to a cave hidden deep in the woods and dropped her in a corner.

  She tried to edge her way toward to cave’s mouth, but a growl from the beast kept her in her place. She thought about screaming again, but another glare from the beast kept her quiet, its small eyes squinting as it watched her.

  “Who is this?” a disembodied voice asked from somewhere in the gloomy darkness.

  Ella squinted her eyes, trying to adjust to the dimly lit cave. “Hello?” her voice squeaked. “Who’s there?”

  She heard fingers snap, and a light bloomed on the far side of the cave, revealing a small, brown man dressed in a strange combination of leaves and brown linen. His blonde, bushy beard looked like a bird’s nest with bits of twig poking out here and there. His frizzy hair stuck out from under a large straw hat wreathed with leaves of red and orange. His bright, cerulean-blue eyes immediately caught hers. Her eyes, wide with surprise, took in the strange contents of the cave. On the far side, carved into the cave was a simple hearth with crude pottery stacked on a rough wooden shelf that hung slightly askew next to the fireplace. Thick tree limbs had been lashed together to make a table, chairs, and a bed. The man sat in one of the chairs, his feet propped up on the crude hearth.

  The creature shuffled around the cave, grabbing a bowl from the stack on the shelf, muttering to itself in a strange, growling language. It dipped the bowl into a large cauldron that sat in the fire and lumbered over to Ella. It offered her the bowl, holding it out tentatively.

  The bowl contained what looked like a stew made of grubs and insects with fatty globs that floated on the surface. The beast motioned at her to eat. She raised the bowl to her mouth with a grimace and sipped at the contents, afraid to offend the strange beast. She coughed, spluttering in revulsion as the flavor hit her. It tasted like a combination of dirt and rotten garbage.

  The monster watched her, chuckling at her reaction to the rancid meal. “Eats good.” Its eyes danced with amusement. It reached out its clawed hand and ruffled her hair. “Funny face.”

  The strange man watched, carefully noting her reaction to the beast and the offer of food. His eyes sparkled with mischief. “Now Grunda, what have you gone and done? You’ve brought me a stray.”

  Grunda growled and shook her head. “Help. Help Madcap.”

  The man laughed, a deep belly laugh that filled the cave, echoing off the walls. “You brought me help?” He shook his head, and Grunda nodded, a gruesome grin on her face. “Well then, let’s see who you brought me.” He stood up, crossing the cave to Ella. He offered her his sun-wizened hand, helping her to stand. “I am Madcap, and this is Grunda.”

  “Me Grunda.” The beast patted her chest proudly, offering a grimace Ella could interpret only as an attempt at a smile. Her tusks made the facial expression grotesque, more like a sadistic leer than a genuine smile.

  Ella tried to smile pleasantly. “I’m Ella.” She gave a little curtsy, trying to remain polite in spite of the strange circumstances.

  “A Lady with manners. Wow perfectly pleasant.” Madcap giggled, taking Ella by the hand and leading her over to a chair. “Have a seat, and I will see if I can explain what is going on.” Ella nodded, feeling a little less anxious but still unsure of what was to come.

  16 – A CHARMING PRINCE

  Prince Charmaine stared out the window, clenching his fist in frustration. His arrival in Aurelia had been filled with disappointment. The Lady Winslow had already left, traveling to an unknown location. He pounded his fist into his thigh, growling in irritation.

  “Prince Ellander, I really wish you would let go of me,” an annoyed female voice said from behind him. He turned to see what the commotion was. His eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Prince Ellander with his arms around a tall, beautiful, blonde woman.

  “But my love, I just want to be near you. You are perfection itself. The angels sing praises of your beauty, and the stars dance in the heavens just for you,” Prince Ellander gushed at her.

  She rolled her eyes, pushing against his chest in exasperation. “I told you, you are not my love. Now back off before I hurt you.”

  Charmaine chuckled at her statement. He watched with amusement as she wiggled out of Prince Ellander’s grasp. Ellander’s display surprised him since he was typically a stuffed shirt, concerned with the propriety of any situation rather than the feelings of others. Phrases of love were not something Charmaine expected to hear from Prince Ellander.

  “The only thing that can hurt me is your denial of the feelings I know must be in your heart.” Prince Ellander rested a hand on her cheek. Charmaine watched her clench her fists, anger rolling off her like waves crashing onto a beach.

  She pulled her fist back and punched him, landing a perfect hit right on Prince Ellander’s nose. Blood gushed out as he fell on his royal rump, clutching his face in astonishment. “I said back off,” she growled as she turned and stomped down the hall.

  Prince Charmaine watched her go, trying to stifle a laugh as he went to offer Ellander assistance. “What was that all about?” he asked as he handed Ellander a handkerchief.

  Ellander looked up at him, blood dripping from his nose, staining his blue-silk jacket. “I do not know,” he whimpered. “She is my one true love. I do not understand what I have done to offend her.”

  Charmaine cleared his throat. “Perhaps you should try listening when she tells you to back off.”

  “Of course. How could I be so stupid?” Ellander mumbled around the handkerchief. “I should go apologize at once.”

  “Why don’t you go get yourself cleaned up? It might upset the Lady to see you covered in blood.” Charmaine held his hand out to Ellander to help him up. “I’ll go fin
d her and make your apologies.”

  Ellander looked down at the blood. “Yes, you are right. She would be devastated to see me like this. I will go change at once.” He hurried down the hall, leaving Charmaine standing by himself.

  Charmaine followed the direction in which the woman had stormed off, stopping occasionally to ask servants and guards if they had seen her passing. They directed him to a small, private garden where he found her sitting on the edge of a fountain, trailing her hand in the water.

  “I told you to back off,” she snarled when she heard him approach. She glanced up, her expression changing from a glare to surprise as she registered that it was not Ellander disrupting her peace and quiet. “I am so sorry Your Highness. I thought you were someone else.” She gasped, jumping up and giving a small curtsy.

  He laughed at the surprise on her face. “It’s okay. I was looking for you, actually, and please call me Charmaine.” He motioned for her to resume her seat.

  Confusion crossed her face, followed by suspicion. “Why?” She drew out the word. “Why were you looking for me?”

  He shrugged. “Well, for one I have never seen a Lady throw a punch quite like that before.” He grinned as she blushed. “And for another I promised Ellander I would convey his apologies for vexing you.”

  She snorted. “Prince Ellander can go jump in a lake for all I care.” She turned back to the fountain, trailing her fingers in the water again.

  He laughed, “What did he do to get on your bad side, my Lady?”

  She rolled her eyes and sighed. “He got caught in a misfired fairy godmother spell that resulted in him declaring his undying love for me even though he had never met me before.”

  “Ooo, this sounds interesting.” Charmaine leaned back on the fountain, grinning in delight, shifting around to get more comfortable. “Tell me more.”

  She stared at him for a long minute, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping open as something occurred to her. “Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no.” She stood up quickly, and backed away from him slowly, arms wrapped protectively around her waist. “This is not happening,” she uttered, then she turned and ran back into the castle.

  Charmaine stood up to follow, confused by her reaction to his request for more information.

  A throat clearing stopped him. “Prince Charmaine, a word if you wouldn’t mind.”

  He turned his head, and saw Rose standing on a small path that led deeper into the garden. “Rose? What are you doing here?”

  “I told you, Prince Charmaine, that I would come and let the Queen know of your arrival.” She motioned for him to join her.

  He walked by her side as they wandered down the meandering gravel path lined by flowering plum trees and bordered by crimson roses. The moment she mentioned the Queen, he knew that Rose had also alerted Lady Winslow, sending her away before he could catch her. He stopped walking, forcing the fairy godmother to turn back to him. “Why did you send Lady Winslow away?”

  Rose smiled gently, “She has a great deal of growing up to do before she meets you again. She has to come to terms with who she really is, not who she has become due to the influence of her stepmother.”

  He crossed his arms, tapping his foot impatiently. “So now what? Am I supposed to go chasing after her, making a fool of myself?”

  Rose shook her head. “No, I brought you here so you can help with Evangeline’s problem.”

  He started to roll his eyes and then stopped remembering the scene in the hallway between the woman and Prince Ellander. “So that was the Lady Evangeline.” He smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand, realizing what he had witnessed. He rubbed his face in irritation. “What am I supposed to do about it?”

  Rose smiled again, bending down to sniff at a flame-colored rose. “Be her friend.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think that is going to work. You saw how she ran away from me.” He furrowed his brow. “Why did she run away from me?”

  Rose gave him a sly look. “Would you believe me if I told you?”

  Charmaine tried to hide a smile, allowing a small chuckle to escape. “I guess not.” He looked back toward the fountain. ”I suppose I can be her friend while I wait for Lady Winslow to make an appearance. At least it will be entertaining.” He smiled at the memory of Lady Evangeline landing a punch on Prince Ellander’s smug face.

  “Very,” Rose replied smugly.

  17 – CAVE OF WONDERS

  Madcap eyed Ella, noting her bedraggled appearance. He reached over and plucked a twig and leaf out of her hair. “You look like you could use something warm to eat and maybe a little time to dry yourself by the fire.” He grinned at her. “Come, my dear. Have a seat, and I will get you something good to eat.”

  He led her over to one of the chairs by the fire and motioned for her to sit. He dipped a bowl into the large kettle hanging over the fire, filling it with the same awful mixture Grunda had offered her earlier.

  Ella widened her eyes in apprehension at the memory of the previous bowl of stew, the taste of garbage still fresh in her mouth. The little man chuckled at her response and waved a hand over the bowl, changing it from a stew of grubs and fat to beef, carrots, and savory onions. She picked up the bowl and sipped hesitantly but was pleasantly surprised by the lovely flavor.

  “Thank you,” she said as she set the bowl on the table.

  “You are quite welcome. Grunda doesn’t have the most refined pallet.” He smiled at her. Madcap took the seat next to her, smiling as she polished off the tasty bowl of stew.

  Grunda grunted as she shuffled around the cave, cleaning and straightening up. “Ella friend. Ella help.”

  “Yes, yes.” Madcap waved his hand at Grunda. “We will get to that. Now tell me, Ella, what brings you to Grunda’s cave?”

  Ella gawked at him, clearing her throat nervously. “Um, yes, well,” she stuttered. “My friends and I went to the inn up the road to get out of the rain.”

  “And they go down to the inn to get out of the rain,” Madcap sang to the tune of an old children’s song about ants. “Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.”

  Ella waited for Madcap to finish, fidgeting with the now empty bowl of stew. “Once the storm was over, we left to go back to the main road, and Grunda spooked my horse. It dumped me on the road. Grunda grabbed me and brought me here.” Ella finished in a rush.

  Madcap sat up straight in his chair, his whole body alert. “And where are your friends now?”

  “Probably looking for me,” Ella whispered.

  “Oh dear, oh dear.” Madcap jumped up from his chair, pacing around the cave, wringing his hands with worry. “Grunda, what did you do?”

  “Grunda find friend. Grunda help,” she stated proudly.

  “Oh no, no, no.” Madcap sat back down with a huff. “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to figure something out.”

  “Grunda fix.” She reached out a claw to Ella’s head. Ella scrambled backed into her chair, eyes wide with fear.

  “No, Grunda.” Madcap shouted, causing Grunda to jump back, head hanging in shame. “We do not use magic on friends. Only to heal hurts.”

  Grunda nodded, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped. She sat on the floor, refusing to look at anyone. Madcap turned to Ella, tugging thoughtfully at his beard. His blue eyes bored into her, making her feel as if she were completely undressed. She squirmed in discomfort, looking away from him to ease her distress. His other hand shot out, grabbing her chin and turning her face so she could not look away. Tears welled in her eyes until the dam burst on her resolve, releasing the flood. She huddled over on the table, sobbing uncontrollably.

  Madcap grunted. “It appears that Grunda has quite the knack for picking up on the magically challenged. There is more to you than meets the eye, my dear.” He patted Ella’s back, offering a handkerchief from out of thin air for her to blow her nose.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Ella hiccoughed.

  Madcap smiled. “I do.” He played with h
is beard, watching her gather herself. “Tell me your story.”

  Ella breathed out heavily, recounting everything that had happened to her since her father had died. Madcap grimaced at the mention of her fairy godmother, and Grunda growled when Ella explained how her stepmother had tossed her out. Grunda placed a cup of water next her when she finished with her story. Ella drank it gratefully, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

  “Well, that is quite the tale.” Madcap sat back in his chair, watching her with his electric-blue eyes. “Perhaps you can help me, and maybe I can help you in return.”

  Ella furrowed her brow in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  Madcap chuckled. “Grunda was supposed to just watch the road and let me know when travelers arrived at the inn. I am looking for a traveling companion.”

  “Why did she kidnap me then?” Ella asked quietly.

  “I think she likes you. You see, she is the last ogre in these woods. She is very lonely. I have looked after her, taught her magic, how to take care of herself, but she needs to find more of her kind. I can’t take her with me to explore the world and look for them. It would be too dangerous for her.” He smiled at Ella. “I need someone to travel with me at least part of the way. A wizard of my talents cannot travel alone. Besides it’s much too boring traveling by myself.”

  Ella smiled back. “I think I can arrange that. One more person in our party couldn’t hurt anything.”

  Madcap grinned at her. “Indeed, I may even be able to help. I have a few spells that might come in handy. I am a wizard after all.”