Happily Never After

by Sonya M Black

  “Can we go soon? My friends will be worried,” Ella asked, squirming in her seat.

  Madcap smiled gently. “Of course. Let me gather a few things, and then we will say good-bye to Grunda.” He jumped up and reached into the air, pulling a travel sack and walking stick out of nowhere and setting them at his feet. He patted himself down, checking to see if he had forgotten anything. “Grunda, I must take Ella with me to find more ogres. You must remain here in the woods and stay hidden.” He hugged the ogress around her thick waist. “Remember, do not use magic to hurt others, only to hide yourself or to help someone who needs it.”

  Grunda nodded solemnly at his instructions. “Grunda sad. Ella leave. Madcap leave. Madcap come back? Come back with new friends?” she asked wistfully.

  Madcap nodded. “Yes, Grunda. I promise. I will come back with new friends for you.”

  Grunda reached for Ella and crushed her in a hug. “Ella come back?”

  Ella squeezed the ogress back as best as she could, trying not to gag from the foul odor. “I will try, but I don’t know if I can.”

  Grunda nodded in understanding. “Grunda not forget Ella.”

  Ella smiled. “I won’t forget you either.”

  Madcap slung his travel sack over his shoulder and grabbed his walking stick. “I hate long goodbyes. Come on, Ella. Let us find your friends.” He danced out of the cave without a backward glance.

  18 – HUNTED

  Evangeline scurried around the corner looking for some place to hide. Two more Princes had arrived at the palace and declared their undying love upon first spotting her. It was getting ridiculous. She had decided to lock herself in her room, but that had lasted for only a couple of days before the sounds of pining Princes outside drove her into the open. She was desperate to find a place where the three love-maddened royals could not find her. She twisted the knobs on the doors as she passed, looking for a closet in which to disappear. She was giving up hope of finding an unlocked room or closet, and then a knob turned.

  She ducked around the door just as her three pursuers rounded the last corner. She pushed the door closed as quietly as she could and flipped the lock. She pressed her ear to the door, listening for them to pass.

  “My love, my sweet Evangeline,” Prince Ellander called down the hall.

  “She’s my love. She will never choose you,” Prince Heinrick contended.

  “Bah. You both are wrong. She is just waiting for the chance to claim me,” Prince Christian challenged.

  Evangeline groaned as the three men continued bickering over who was really her one true love. A little cough behind her caused her jump; she spun with one hand over her heart to stop its wild racing. Her eyes widened in surprise and embarrassment as she took in a half-dressed Prince Charmaine. Her cheeks blazed red as she clenched her eyes closed.

  “I am so sorry, Your Highness,” she gasped, mortified at having chosen his room to hide in and having found him in his half-clad state. “I was trying to find someplace to hide. I didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

  He chuckled, his voice muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head. “That’s okay. From the ruckus in the hall, it sounds like you had a good reason. By the way I’m perfectly decent now.”

  Evangeline carefully opened her eyes, exhaling in relief that he was indeed dressed. He laughed at her reaction. “Let me help you.” He strode over to the door and motioned for her to hide behind it. He pulled it open quickly. “What in the name of heaven is going on out here?” he demanded as he held the door open. “Can’t a man have a little peace and quiet around here?”

  “Charmaine! Have you seen my Evangeline?” Prince Ellander asked.

  “Your Evangeline?” Charmaine scoffed. “It sounds like you all want to lay claim to the poor Lady. Well, you are in luck. I saw her from my window, down in the gardens. If you hurry you might still catch her down there.”

  The three Princes started bickering again as they hurried down the hall toward the garden, sounding like young children arguing over a favorite toy. Evangeline held her breath, staring at Prince Charmaine’s back, afraid that the three Princes would somehow sense the ruse. Prince Charmaine stood in the doorway for a moment longer before finally closing it. He gave her a saucy wink then walked over and grabbed his boots.

  “Thank you, Your Highness.” Evangeline stated emphatically.

  “Charmaine,” he said as he pulled on one of his boots.

  “Excuse me, Your Highness?” Evangeline wrinkled her brow in confusion.

  He smiled at her as he pulled on his second boot. “Call me Charmaine.”

  She shook her head a little. “That would be inappropriate, Your Highness.”

  “Please,” he begged, grabbing a jacket and putting it on. “I will call you Evangeline. Not ‘my love’ or ‘my’ Evangeline or even ‘Lady Evangeline’ if you will call me just Charmaine.”

  She cocked an eyebrow and tried to hide her smirk. “All right just Charmaine.”

  He laughed at her jibe. “Good. Now, I know the perfect spot to escape from your hunters.” He sauntered over to her and offered his hand. “I know you are afraid I will fall under the fairy godmother’s curse, but I have it on good authority that I won’t.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “And whose authority would that be?”

  “Rose’s.” Charmaine smiled.

  Evangeline nodded, slowly accepting his hand. He squeezed it gently before opening the door and peeking around it to be sure the three Princes were nowhere in sight. He held his finger to his lips for silence before leading her through the hallways of the palace. His sapphire eyes sparkled mischievously every time they caught the sound of her pursuers, causing Evangeline to stifle giggles each time they had to duck behind a tapestry or hide in a closet. She felt like a child playing hide-and-seek as Charmaine led her hunters on a merry chase.

  Eventually he led them away from the palace grounds and into the city, where he stopped in a small park near the city walls. He guided Evangeline to a bench next to a small waterfall. The water droplets in the air caught the sun, causing thousands of tiny rainbows to dance in front of her, mesmerizing her. Tall weeping willows surrounded the pond interspersed with tall, stately oaks, their long, drooping limbs creating curtains of green. Manicured paths meandered around the water lined with bright, fragrant flowers.

  “This is beautiful,” Evangeline breathed, sitting slowly on the bench.

  “It is,” Charmaine agreed, joining her. “I found this place the last time I was here.”

  “So why does Rose think you are immune to the curse?” she asked, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face.

  He shrugged. “She never said, but I think it has to do with the fact that I’m here looking for Lady Winslow.”

  “Mmm,” she muttered. “About that.…”

  He grinned at her. “I know you and Jarret were supposed to keep her away from me until she learned how to be a Lady.”

  Evangeline grunted. “Some teacher I am. I get left behind because of a badly aimed spell.”

  He chuckled. “How were the lessons going? You know, before you got hit with the three Princes?”

  Evangeline rolled her eyes, shrugging. “Okay I guess. Ella is not really Princess material.”

  Charmaine looked her, startled by her assessment. “What do you mean?”

  She smiled at his reaction. “Ella was caged as a servant for too long to be happy being caged as a Princess. She would be exchanging an iron cage for a gilded one.”

  “Huh.” He nodded. “I never thought of it that way, but it makes sense. I suppose I hadn’t really thought about whether or not she would have me. I just assumed – ”

  “You assumed,” she interrupted, “that because you are the Prince she wouldn’t say no, and you are probably right. She would accept you, and she would even be happy for a while.”

  Charmaine sighed. “But it wouldn’t be happily ever after, would it?”

  Evangeline shook her head sadly. “No. I’m sor
ry. I know you really like her.”

  Charmaine stared out at the waterfall. “I do like her.” He put his head in his hands, breathing a heavy sigh, his golden curls falling onto his forehead. “What am I going to do? My father has given me an ultimatum. I have to marry by the end of the year, or he’ll choose a bride for me. I don’t want to end up in a loveless marriage only to cement some treaty.”

  Evangeline patted his shoulder in sympathy. “I understand. My father wanted me to marry someone I didn’t care for.”

  He looked at her, startled by her revelation. “What did you do?”

  She laughed as the memory presented itself. “I don’t think it would work for you.”

  “Now I’m really curious.” He sat back, stroking his chin and grinning.

  “On the night he introduced my future husband to me, I put on the gaudiest dress I could find, painted my face like a clown, and put on the worst manners ever. By the end of the first course of dinner, my would-be fiancé threw his hands in the air and swore he was a lifelong bachelor.” Evangeline smirked, remembering how much fun she’d had. “He left, and my father agreed never to try to make another arranged marriage for me.”

  Charmaine threw his head back and laughed, startling a few birds from the trees. A squirrel chattered, angrily making him laugh even harder. “I can just picture it,” he gasped. “I truly wish that would work for me. Can you imagine me with a white face and lipstick?”

  Evangeline pulled a straight face. “Of course, Your Highness.”

  He stared at her for a minute, startled until her quiet giggles gave her away. They collapsed together, laughing hysterically, tears running down their faces. The squirrel in the tree chattered in disgust before moving on to find a quieter location.

  19 – THE WANDERING WIZARD

  Madcap led Ella through the woods and back to the inn. As they traveled through the forest, Ella kept watch for Jarret and her friends. It was quiet with only the sounds of buzzing insects to interrupt her thoughts. Madcap moved at a quick pace, leaving little chance for conversation as they maneuvered through the densely packed trees. They encountered no one else until they reached the inn, where Ella saw her horse standing in the stable, contentedly chewing on oats.

  Ella stepped into the front room of the inn, looking expectantly for Jarret. She caught sight of him pacing in front of the massive fireplace at the far side. As soon as he saw her, he raced across the room and grabbed her up in a tight embrace.

  “Ella,“ he gasped. “Are you all right? Where have you been?” Jarret grabbed her face, looking deeply into her eyes.

  “I’m fine,” Ella replied, feeling relief at finding her friends still at the inn.

  “We tried to search for you, but we couldn’t find a trail, and when we came back to the inn we couldn’t find anyone to help us with the search.” Jarret pulled her across the room to where the others sat. “How did you escape?”

  Madcap giggled behind her. “Escape? She didn’t escape. There was no need to escape.”

  Jarret stared at the little wizard, taking in his strange appearance. “Who are you?”

  “I am Madcap,” he said, sweeping his straw hat off his head and bowing low. “Wizard extraordinaire.”

  “Jarret,” Ella said. “The poor ogress who took me didn’t mean to cause trouble.”

  He looked at her incredulously. “What?” His voice climbed an octave in alarm. “Are you serious?”

  Ella laid a gentle hand on his arm. “It was a misunderstanding.”

  “Oh my, yes! A misunderstanding,” Madcap agreed, clapping his hands and bouncing up and down on his toes.

  “A misunderstanding?” Jarret shook his head in disbelief. “It kidnapped you. That’s not a misunderstanding – ”

  Ella held her hand up to stop his rant. He stared hard at her, running a hand through his hair, scrubbing over his face in an effort to calm himself. She sat down in a chair and began telling her tale. Madcap interjected with random comments that caused Jarret‘s eyebrows to climb upward as the story unfolded, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he restrained himself from saying anything. By the end of the tale, Jarret, Corlain, and Amaliea were silent, unsure of how to respond.

  “It would seem we have another addition to our party,” Corlain observed at the end of the account. “I think I should see if the innkeeper knows where we can get another horse.”

  “No worries. No worries.” Madcap waved his hands. “I have a horse already. We can be off at once.” He jumped to his feet and then stopped as he glanced at the disheveled Ella. “Perhaps we can leave after you clean up.”

  Ella sighed with relief at the thought of a bath. Mud from the puddle she had landed in had dried on her clothes, leaving them crusty and uncomfortable. Her head itched, and she could smell the horrid odor left from Grunda’s carrying her through the woods.

  Amaliea, always perfectly composed, rose from her seat gracefully. “Let us get you bathed. Perhaps we will have a chance to speak on the road and begin your lessons on being a Lady.”

  Ella nodded, swallowing nervously at the thought of more lessons. “Of course. That would be wonderful.” She stood and followed Amaliea upstairs to take a bath.

  It did not take long for the party to get the horses loaded and start back out on the road. The sun peeked through the trees, drying the mud from earlier, drawing out clouds of insects that buzzed around them. They swatted at the pesky bugs until Madcap took pity on them, and with a wave of his hand he banished the biting critters.

  Madcap had a shaggy, little mountain pony that he kept at the inn. He followed them down the road, riding alongside Ella and Amaliea, his hat tipped jauntily to one side. He whistled a cheerful tune as his pony ambled next to them.

  “Being a Lady requires that you comport yourself with the utmost dignity,” Amaliea lectured. “You must be above the pettiness of the common man.”

  Madcap gave a snort. “Balderdash,” he muttered.

  “You must be kind to those less fortunate, but you must also remind them that you are their better,” Amaliea continued, ignoring the strange little wizard.

  “Bah,” he groused. “Every Lady I’ve ever know has had too much starch in her skirts.”

  “I beg your pardon, master wizard,” Amaliea huffed in disgust. “A Lady must be seen as being more, more.…” She gestured gracefully as she searched for a word. “Well, just more. She must be graceful, articulate, poised, well read, and – ”

  Madcap mimicked Amaliea, screwing his face up in a haughty expression. Ella stifled a giggle, trying not to offend her.

  Amaliea’s eyebrows rose. “I am afraid this conversation will have to be continued at a later time, when we can discuss this without interruptions.” Her voice took on an affronted tone. She nudged her horse forward, joining Corlain further up the road.

  “Blah, blah, blah,” Madcap ridiculed. “She may be the perfect example of her ideal Lady, but there are more important things than poise and being above the common man.”

  “Like what?” Ella asked intrigued by his statement.

  “Well.” Madcap leaned back in the saddle looking very relaxed. “A true Lady understands her own value. She is confident in her abilities. A Lady is kind to others, but she is also kind to herself. She is articulate, but when she stumbles or is tongue-tied, she simply takes it in stride. She is poised, but she also knows when to be a little silly.”

  Ella nodded, understanding what Madcap was getting at. “I think that was why Evangeline was teaching me to fence. She wants me to have confidence.”

  Madcap chortled. “Fencing might do that, but magic is better.”

  Ella stared at the little man, surprised by his words. “I can’t do magic.”

  “Why not?” He snorted. “Have you ever tried?”

  “Well, no – ” she replied, a little flustered by his tone of voice.

  “Well then, this is the perfect time to start.” He produced a small, white stone from out of nowhere and handed it to her. It was
a plain stone, perfectly round and very unspectacular. Ella stared at it, her brow furrowing in confusion. “Now hold the stone in your hand like this.” He held his palm out in front of him facing up, another stone resting in its center. “Close your eyes.”

  Ella shook her head. “If I close my eyes, I won’t be able to see where I am going.”

  He grunted, turning back to Jarret, who rode behind them. “You won’t let her get lost, will you?”

  Jarret smiled at them, his eyes twinkling as he listened in on their conversation. “No. I will keep her safe.”

  Madcap nodded. “See – ? You will be perfectly fine. Now close your eyes.” Ella followed his direction. “Clear your mind of all thoughts. Focus on the stone. Feel it in your hand. Feel it, the shape, the texture, the weight. Imagine it lifting up in the air.”

  Ella tried to clear her mind, focusing on the small stone resting in her palm. Every sound – the songs of the birds, the whir of insect wings, every sensation – the caress of the breeze on her face, the motion of the steady plodding pace of her horse – proved to be a distraction. Her mind would empty, and she would catch snippets of conversation from the rest of the group. She would focus on the stone but would find her mind wandering down random paths, wondering if she could make the stone move or how any of this applied to being a Lady.

  She closed her hand around the stone with a sigh. “I don’t think this is going to work,” she muttered in disappointment.

  “Harrumph,” Madcap snorted. “You’ve only been at it for a few minutes. Give it a few years, and you’ll catch on.”

  “A few years!” she exclaimed. “I don’t have a few years to learn to be a Lady.”

  “Why not?” Madcap asked curiously. “Do you think the great artists sculpt masterpieces in a day? The truth is, girl, you cannot learn to be a Lady in a few days or even weeks. You told me your story. You have many years of being a servant in your past. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is part of you. You do not need fixing. You may need to learn some new skills, like how to stand up straight and which fork to use when you dine. But your true friends will accept you whether you are a servant dressed in Lady’s clothing or a Lady dressed as a servant.”