Wilderness Untamed

by Butler, J. M.

  "Search my thoughts if you like," Naatos growled. "Search everywhere. There are no others. She's the only host available to you."

  "There are thousands," it snarled. "One will be compatible. There is always another."

  "Search for them." He swept his arm out. "Now. Use what little remnant of your power you have to confirm what I've said. Do it. See if there are any hosts of any kind compatible with you."

  The Ki Valo Nakar closed its eyes. The faintest of movements trembled in its legs and ridges.

  Fear.

  Unmistakable.

  This ancient being had never had to consider its own mortality. Or the possibility that it would be forced to wander bodyless, powerless until the end of time. Whenever that was.

  Then, in the next breath, it reached the same understanding he had found months ago. The utter horror of realizing you had just about killed the one person you needed.

  An agitated breath hissed through its teeth. "Why isn't she back yet? I sent that beacon minutes ago. No matter how far she went, she can return instantly."

  "Knowing her, there are two possibilities. The first is she didn't recognize your beacon. She still can't do traditional telepathy."

  "Children can communicate telepathically!" the Ki Valo Nakar spluttered.

  "The second possibility," Naatos continued, ignoring its outburst. "Perhaps even the most likely is that she doesn't trust the signal you sent and is going to do it her way. Which means the hard way. The long way. At her own pace. She's impossible to rush."

  It hissed again, dipping forward and swaying back. "Surely you can reason with her."

  "Me?" He widened his eyes in mock surprise. "How long have you been conscious in this woman's mind that you would think I of all people can force her to do anything?"

  "She loves you. She'll want to make you happy."

  "Have you seen any of our interactions?"

  "No. I don't like you. I don't like any of those disgusting hormonal things you two get about. I wake up, and the first thing I perceive is your ugly face looming in to bite her." It shuddered. "My hosts are celibate for a reason. She couldn't even get that right. And she was so close." It shook out the bony protrusions and snarled. It shot another angry glare in Naatos's direction. "Make yourself useful at least. Pick that body up. We'll go find her."

  "No, we won't." Naatos stepped between her and the Ki Valo Nakar. "She'll find her way back. And if we move her body, she may not find us. This is her best chance."

  "We can't just wait for her to decide she's ready to come back! She could have jettisoned herself into a whole other world."

  "Perhaps you shouldn't have tormented her so much," WroOth said with a dramatic shrug. "It takes a lot of rage to just catapult one's consciousness out of a body. Naatos didn't even make her quite that mad."

  True enough. Though he was sure he'd come close.

  "Someone needs to do something and get that woman here!" the Ki Valo Nakar shouted. It flung its bony arms into the air and started circling. "Where is she?"

  "I'm right here. But I'm not going back in that body yet. You and I are going to have a rather intense heart-to-heart, Ki Valo Nakar."

  Naatos turned, suppressing the smile that wanted to rise. There she was, translucent and shimmering in all greys and greens. Not nearly so angry as he had expected. Just deadly serious. And not looking as if she was in any mood to compromise or negotiate.

  88

  Return

  Even as she walked with Leonas, Amelia had wondered what it would be like when she finally made it back to her body. But this wasn't the sight she'd expected as she stepped through the black trees and onto the gently sloping shore.

  The Ki Valo Nakar had shrunk down from its twelve feet, its lengthy body still cloaked in black cloth. Naatos had his arms akimbo as he stood between her and the Ki Valo Nakar. If looks could kill, he'd have slain it already. AaQar and WroOth knelt beside her motionless form, checking her pulse or trying to stimulate blood flow. And QueQoa had taken his combat stance, ready to attack if any other creatures decided to interfere. Both Proteus and Tacky watched from a distance, their manners uneasy as they shifted about. Probably because of the Ki Valo Nakar. Maybe because of her.

  The trails of the conversation reached her ears. "Someone needs to do something and get that woman here!" the Ki Valo Nakar shouted.

  She slid out from between the trees and approached them, her pace steady. "I'm right here. But I'm not going back in that body yet. You and I are going to have a very intense heart-to-heart, Ki Valo Nakar."

  Everyone turned toward her. The Ki Valo Nakar lifted its head, its moon eyes glowing. QueQoa uttered a happy shout as he lifted his hand in greeting. AaQar remained by her body, working at her wrists as WroOth stood. "Glad you didn't cut this any closer, dear heart."

  Naatos relaxed only a little. A half smirk flashed over his face and then faded almost at once. Almost as if he had expected her.

  It struck her that they both believed in one another with all their hearts. Just not always regarding the best in one another. More about their mutual relentlessness. And this time, it was good.

  The Ki Valo Nakar hissed at her. "Get back in that body now. You have minutes before you die, you little fool."

  She looked it up and down, then let her gaze fall once more on her body. She looked small and pathetic there on the ashy soil, all grey and scarred. Her dark hair had gone completely wild and ragged, half in a braid, half sprayed about, her body far gaunter than it had been when she started. Drying tracks of blood on her arms revealed places she had scratched and picked. And the bags under her eyes were heavy and dark while the long bloody streaks ran all the way down her cheeks. Her heart throbbed a little harder.

  "I don't know. I'm looking really beat up. Do you really think my body can take anymore after all you've put me through? I'm not feeling anything right now. If I go back in there, I'm going to hurt. A lot." She rubbed her hand along the back of her neck. Truth be told, she didn't want to go through anymore of that. Not that she wanted to die. But she didn't want to hurt anymore either.

  "Get back in your body, you useless glob of—"

  "Is that how you're going to talk to me?" She arched her eyebrow as she glared at it. "This is my body. I make the rules. Do you understand?"

  "Your life is seeping out of you. Get in there!"

  "Don't take that tone with me. I'm very much aware that I don't have much time, but what time I do have is mine." She folded her arms and jerked her chin at the Ki Valo Nakar. "Now are you going to listen to me or not?"

  "We can talk once —"

  "No."

  "You've never done this before, and if you don't even know how to have a telepathic conversation, you might not get back in time." The Ki Valo Nakar loomed over her.

  How on earth it fit inside her, she didn't even want to think. She stared up at it, not blinking and not moving her arms to her sides. "That's true. So maybe you should listen to me. I'm dying regardless. Those long leeches are bad news for me. And if you're not going to cooperate, there's no point in my even talking to you."

  The Ki Valo Nakar spluttered as it reared back.

  "Long leeches are often a part of the Bealorn Forbidden Arts," AaQar said. He continued to rub the wrists of her prone form. "They had potions and remedies to kill them off. If they are dead, then your body will purge the venom relatively swiftly. The vault in Darmoste may have some."

  "Oh?" Amelia turned her back on the Ki Valo Nakar.

  "The colrum serum," QueQoa said. He pointed back toward Proteus and the sledge. "It might help?"

  "It comes with rather serious side effects," Naatos said. His gaze moved from her body to her. "It might buy some time, slow their growth, but it might also cause further damage."

  "Or both," AaQar admitted. "We should hold off until there's no other choice. It's just as likely to kill you as help. Perhaps more likely. But we have to get you out of Dry Deep as fast as is safely possible."

  "And we're s
till at least six days out from the edge of Dry Deep," Naatos added.

  "You can't just ignore me!" the Ki Valo Nakar exclaimed.

  "Fine. If you can be helpful and cooperate, I'll talk to you. You've been teleporting me," Amelia said, looking at the Ki Valo Nakar. "Is there any chance that you could take me as far as the ascent? That way I can still adjust to the change in atmosphere but we don't have to be here as long?"

  "Well—" The Ki Valo Nakar looked to the ground, then back up to her. "I could after I rested…"

  "But?" Naatos glared at it.

  "It triggers the long leech venom production," AaQar said with a heavy sigh.

  It nodded, almost sheepish.

  Naatos swore. "Crespa! So just to torture her, you took her to her limit so that she was moments from death? You couldn't have done it just once or twice? You had to do it time and time again."

  "She is unreasonable!"

  "You are worthless," Naatos snapped, glaring at it.

  "No." The Ki Valo Nakar turned its focus back to Amelia. "Listen. All is not lost. There are some things I can do. I can shield your mind so you won't experience the hallucinations. You'll be able to move faster. But the physical effects will remain. The damage will continue, so you have to get out of here. And I won't take you to the unformed ones until you're stronger."

  "Not until she's ready," Naatos said sternly. "She needs time to adjust. To learn her skills."

  "But if there are unformed ones and they are suffering—" Amelia started.

  "No." Naatos glared at her.

  "It's too much a risk," AaQar interceded. "Not forever but for now. And it makes you too easy to trap, little sister. If the Okalu is searching for you, all they have to do is lure you in with unformed ones. You might as well be gift wrapped."

  That was true. Leonas had confirmed as much. A flare of obstinance rose within her. If more came, couldn't she help them? Why shouldn't they be helped? They should be, but she couldn't. A heaviness descended over her spirit. No. There were too many things that needed energy and attention. Not everything could be done now.

  "All right," she said, holding up her hands. "Not until I'm healed and ready. I accept that there's too much risk for now."

  "Not a big risk. Maybe a little bit more dead inside if she doesn't replenish well enough." The Ki Valo Nakar dipped its head down, glaring at them sullenly. "Probably not deadly. And not nearly as dangerous as staying here."

  "You do not put her at any risk," Naatos snarled. "You've done more than enough already."

  It hissed at him.

  "So you can shield her from the hallucinogenic effects of Dry Deep," AaQar said. "Will that trigger any more damage from the long leeches?"

  "No," the Ki Valo Nakar snapped. "I'll just absorb it. It has no effect on me. But their effects will become noticeable before you can leave this place regardless. This entire plan hinged on getting her to a healer. She needs a healer. If you don't find her a healer who can get rid of the long leeches, she's dead. I wouldn't have planned it this way if I had known I couldn't get a healer."

  "Or that you couldn't get another host. Don't think we've forgotten that," WroOth said grimly. "You'd have left her behind to choke in this place."

  "Can we focus on getting her back in her body before she dies?" it demanded. "There isn't much left! Why am I the only one worried about this now?"

  "Because they know I'm serious about dying. If it's my time, it's my time, and I will gladly die."

  "A little too gladly," Naatos muttered.

  WroOth shook his head. "And one of these days we'll have to have an extended conversation about how one actually takes hostages. This is turning into a disturbing pattern."

  She smiled inwardly but didn't break her gaze from the Ki Valo Nakar. "So let's see if we've figured this out. You'll shield my mind so I don't have to be going through all these horrible nightmares and visions. You won't be ripping me away while I sleep or to anywhere else. And you won't do anything that will trigger the long leeches to grow."

  "I agree." It glowered at her as it pointed at her body. "Now get back in the meat bag."

  "You recognize that this is my body and my mind. At most, I will consider your requests and do what I can to learn the skills that you present. You will accept my decisions."

  "We must do our work," it insisted, fidgeting. The clicking intensified beneath its black cloak as if it worked numerous legs against one another, cracking and popping multiple joints. No longer was it so large and terrifying. Though parts of its visage scared her, there was something frightened about it as it faced its own mortality. "It must not be forgotten. The suffering—"

  "Talk to her more about the suffering," Naatos growled. "Do it. Waste more time."

  "He's right," she sighed. "I have to get past this curse and get better or else I'm going to be good for nothing." She set her hands on her waist. "You have to leave me alone until I'm past this. Go to sleep or stay quiet. Don't make me dream and forget. Don't whisper in my ear or torment me."

  "But you cannot forget—"

  "If she forgets—" Naatos started.

  Amelia brushed her hand over his stomach to cut him off. "I won't forget. As long as no one's casting spells on me or binding my memories, I don't forget. It may take me time to unwind everything, but that isn't the same as forgetting. Do we have an agreement?"

  The Ki Valo Nakar nodded slowly, sniffing. Its broad flat face had become quite crestfallen.

  "And if you break our agreement, I will jettison my soul out so fast you'll be on your snakey backside. And depending on how I feel, I may not go back in. We can shrivel together like slugs in a salt pit. Do you understand me?"

  It met her gaze, but it nodded once more. "I understand. Though you still frustrate me."

  "I'm sure I do." She swallowed hard. Leonas's instructions were simple to recall. But stepping back into that body, into all of its weariness, torment, and pain—yes, she would die if she didn't. No question at all. But it felt like skidding sideways into a coffin of rusty nails to save her life.

  AaQar stood beside her. He leaned near her ear. "Pain like this is strong but it will pass."

  To more pain, most likely, she thought. Closing her eyes, she drew in a deep breath. Why did this take more courage than screaming at the Ki Valo Nakar?

  When she opened her eyes, she met Naatos's gaze. He'd steeled his expression once more into a neutral mask. That concern remained, apparent in eyes he could no longer fully shield. "I don't know if I am going to be strong enough to walk out of this place."

  "If you need me to carry you, I will carry you." He placed his hand over hers. There was only a faint tingling sensation and pressure at the point of connection; it warmed her nonetheless. "But you're almost out of time, veskaro. I don't want to bury you here."

  She nodded, then took another deep breath, bracing herself. "All right then. I guess I delayed long enough." She pressed her hands over her physical chest, just above the heart. Her body called to her, aching, bruised, and weary as it was.

  Energy pulsed up her arms for a moment. A heartbeat of hesitation later, a rushing sensation swept her inward.

  89

  Escape

  Physical bodies were disgusting. Consciousness trapped in meat was vile. Amelia groaned as all of the haziness and discomfort rushed in on her. The pain flared up within seconds, reminding her why it had been so hard to move.

  Groaning, she covered her face. It was almost worse to know what it could be like without this. Her fingers and toes were painfully cold, her heartbeat uncomfortably heavy and slow. It sped a little faster with each breath.

  "Your pulse is steady, Amelia," AaQar said. "Take a few moments to get acclimated. Deep breaths. How are you feeling?"

  "Disgusting." She forced a smile as her eyes watered. Shrieking crespa, it reeked in this place.

  "That's what you get for leaving it to the last minutes," WroOth said. He paced out to the edge, then snarled in a dragon voice as a pair of eyes whisked
between the trees. "They're getting curious again. Try to keep the noise down. No screaming. That means you, Kylee."

  The Ki Valo Nakar huffed at him, obviously not approving of the nickname. "I do not scream. I—"

  "Don't argue with him," Naatos said dryly. "You're wasting time." He helped Amelia sit up and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. "You breathe deeper."

  "I'm breathing as deeply as I can." She closed her eyes briefly. The haze was already returning to her thoughts, softening the edges of memory and blurring her perception.

  The Ki Valo Nakar loomed in front of her and Naatos. "None of your expressive grappling. The hormones disrupt my focus." It clicked its tongue at Naatos, its eyes narrowing. "No long biting either."

  "What I do with my veskaro is my business and hers, not yours," Naatos responded. He gripped her hand a little tighter. "We need to go now. The sooner we get you out of here, the sooner we find a way to kill those long leeches."

  "I'll go as fast as I can." She looked to the Ki Valo Nakar. "What next?"

  It dipped its head forward. "Close your eyes. I'll join you momentarily."

  As she closed her eyes, the bitter stench intensified around her along with the fire raging through her lungs and nostrils. It took a moment to focus. But then, she slid into that dark space, a long dark hallway with dozens of open doors.

  The Ki Valo Nakar stood near the center, its gaze traveling up and down the hall. "You do open many doors."

  "It's funny you say that." Memories prickled along her consciousness as the dreams roiled within. While she could not recall the specifics, she had the distinct impression she had been here many times. "There aren't any doors to close."

  "A door once opened can't always be closed if someone destroyed the door to open it." It huffed, giving her an agitated look. "You shouldn't have been so difficult."

  "I don't know why you think I'd be cooperative with something that kept trying to get me to pull souls out of someone's body without an explanation."