Wed, Sept 8, 8:14 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
zoe! ROB TYLER is in my French class!!! *breathes deeply, with hand to throbbing bosom*
SnowAngel:
on friday we have to do “une dialogue” together. i get to ask for a bite of his hot dog.
zoegirl:
you do not
SnowAngel:
yes, and it will be tres sexy. he is SO cute, zoe. today he was wearing this yellow button-down that was quite unexpected on a retro boy like him. he had the sleeves rolled up, and i’m telling u, he’s got the greatest forearms.
zoegirl:
does he, now?
SnowAngel:
it’s from doing construction work all summer. isn’t that cool that he worked construction? it’s so… manly.
zoegirl:
you two actually talked?
SnowAngel:
our seats are right next to each other. and tonight when i do my hw, i get to fantasize about his summer sausage. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*
zoegirl:
while i’ll be reading 5,000 pages of “The Great Gatsby” and answering probing discussion questions about the american dream. mr. h expects us to read a book a week. can you believe that?
SnowAngel:
like that’ll be a problem for u.
SnowAngel:
did he stare at your boobs?
zoegirl:
mr. h?!
SnowAngel:
maddie and i had him for journalism last year, and he was always staring at some girl’s boobs, mostly maddie’s. he was always “reading” her shirts.
zoegirl:
ewww!
SnowAngel:
so watch out. he makes a big deal of being all christian, but what that MEANS is that he’s majorly sexually repressed. whereas i, on the other hand, am not sexually repressed at all. speaking of, better start practicing for rob. bye!
Wed, Sept 8, 9:21 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
i hear angela’s selected her first crush of the season.
zoegirl:
rob tyler?
mad maddie:
she’s so funny. it’s like she’s got to have a guy to like, or she can’t exist. it drives me batty.
zoegirl:
well, that’s angela
zoegirl:
is rob a worthy candidate? i’ve never had a class with him.
mad maddie:
i guess he’s nice enough, in a slouchy, hipster-boy kinda way. but i must say, he’s got a weak chin.
zoegirl:
oh yikes! he kind of does!
mad maddie:
i know angela thinks he’s hot, but he reminds me of that creepy weird brother in “arrested development.” NOT a good thing.
mad maddie:
that show, however, will never grow old
zoegirl:
think he’ll fall for her?
mad maddie:
they always do, don’t they?
zoegirl:
but then things never end up working out. why?
mad maddie:
cuz every new guy is, like, a god to her. she puts them on this total pedestal, and then they do something crappy and she falls apart. and WE have to pick up the pieces.
zoegirl:
well, let’s not forget the time you fell deeply and madly in love with grier snelling…
mad maddie:
hold on, now—i was in the 7th grade!!!
zoegirl:
and you sent him that perfumed letter for valentine’s day, only you were too chicken to put your name on it, and he was like, “ew, my desk stinks! ew, who put this here?!”
mad maddie:
thx for bringing up such a joyous memory. i was scarred for life, thank u very much.
zoegirl:
but angela and i put you back together, because that’s what friends do. and if we have to, you and i will do the same for her.
Thu, Sept 9, 7:46 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
i am SOOOO pissed.
SnowAngel:
oh no. why?
mad maddie:
one word. well, two. JANA WHITAKER.
SnowAngel:
the queen bee of our entire class? *gasps* what’d she do this time?
mad maddie:
i hate her. she’s evil.
SnowAngel:
i KNOW that. TELL ME WHAT SHE DID!!!!
mad maddie:
we had a substitute for last period study hall and he insisted on taking roll, cuz god forbid one of us had snuck off to do something productive. when he got to me he called out, “madeleine kinnick?” and jana turns around, all batting eyes and innocent, and goes, “um, isn’t your name madigan?”
SnowAngel:
yr name IS madigan.
mad maddie:
which jana totally knows!
SnowAngel:
so what’s the problem?
mad maddie:
r u serious?!!
mad maddie:
it was the way she said it, like she was honestly confused. like, “oh my goodness, i THINK i know u, don’t i?” WHEN WE’VE GONE TO SCHOOL TOGETHER SINCE 7th GRADE!!!
SnowAngel:
oooooh.
SnowAngel:
i can see how that would be annoying.
mad maddie:
it’s like she thinks she’s so much better than all the rest of us, and she’s doing us a favor if she remembers our names. it bugs the hell out of me how she walks down the halls in her too-small shirts, her belly-button ring shouting, “look how cool i am! worship me! adore me!” as if she’s such a rebel just cuz she pierced her navel.
SnowAngel:
as if piercings are *any* sign of badass-ness anymore. margie walker pierced her tongue, and no one cared. oh, and she dyed her hair blue.
SnowAngel:
(personally, don’t think it looks that great)
SnowAngel:
but jana whitaker pierces her belly button, and everyone wants to run out and copy her so they can be little jana clones.
mad maddie:
i know. pathetic.
SnowAngel:
anyway, jana’s totally backstabbing margaret cheney. did u know that?
mad maddie:
exsqueeze me?
SnowAngel:
it almost makes me feel sorry for margaret, cuz she and jana r supposed to be best buds. but it’s margaret’s fault for trusting jana in the first place.
mad maddie:
explain
SnowAngel:
i was in the bathroom after 5th period. jana and terri were there, and jana was going on about what a bitch margaret was for flirting with rex saunders. i guess rex is like jana’s property cuz they went to some party together over the summer.
SnowAngel:
jana was all, “she is such a whore,” and then she lowered her voice like she was telling some big secret and said something REALLY gross.
mad maddie:
and that wld be…?
SnowAngel:
don’t think i can say
mad maddie:
say.
SnowAngel:
well, she said that margaret… er… ejaculates.
mad maddie:
????!!!
SnowAngel:
actually she said she squirts when she comes. and then she was like, “shit, i can’t believe i told u. u’ve gotta swear not to tell, terri. u’ve gotta swear!” while the whole time i was two sinks over going, “HELLO! do u even know i’m here?”
mad maddie:
disgusting
SnowAngel:
i know. i was like, “margaret is yr friend, asshole. how wld u like it if she went around spreading rumors about u?”
mad maddie:
i meant the other part. about margaret.
SnowAngel:
oh
SnowAngel:
some girls really do, tho. i read it in “our bodies, ourselves.”
/> mad maddie:
ick
SnowAngel:
not NECESSARILY. i wldn’t know, but if it’s just biology…
SnowAngel:
it’s not *necessarily* ick, is it?
mad maddie:
does jana truly NOT know my name? is that possible?
SnowAngel:
if so, it’s her loss.
mad maddie:
it made me feel so loser-ish. christine and amber giggled when she said it, and i wanted to crawl under my desk. not that they would have noticed, since to them i’m totally invisible.
SnowAngel:
ur not invisible, not to the ppl who matter.
SnowAngel:
hey! *lightbulb binging in head* want me to bring u some krispy kremes to cheer u up?
mad maddie:
YEAH!
SnowAngel:
ok, only i’ll have to wait for mom to get back so she can give me a ride.
mad maddie:
nvm. in that case i’d rather just sulk.
SnowAngel:
poor sad maddie. i can’t wait till we get our licenses. then we can do stuff like that whenever we want.
mad maddie:
four weeks and a day for yrs truly.
mad maddie:
now if only i could get the moms to buy me that jeep…
SnowAngel:
dream on. maybe your grandmom’s old gremlin…
mad maddie:
the gremlin OWNS. it runs, anywayz.
mad maddie:
wanna hear my post-driving-test fantasy?
SnowAngel:
i dunno. do i?
mad maddie:
it’s probably impossible, but wldn’t it be awesome if u, me, and zoe cld go on a road trip together, just the three of us?
SnowAngel:
omg, that would be so cool.
mad maddie:
crank up the music, roll down the windows, and just GO.
SnowAngel:
we cld drive to tuckaway. or hilton head! we cld be beach blanket bimbos!
mad maddie:
and we cld get away from everything having to do with school. we cld just leave it all behind us.
SnowAngel:
that would be so awesome.
SnowAngel:
SHIT, maddie, why do u put these ideas in my head? now i totally wanna do it!
mad maddie:
but the rents will never let us. well, mine might if i begged hard enough, cuz they don’t give a shit what i do. but yours and zoe’s wld freak out.
SnowAngel:
i know. that so sucks.
mad maddie:
one day, tho…
SnowAngel:
well, i call shotgun on our first krispy kreme run.
mad maddie:
u got it!
Thu, Sept 9, 8:25 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
maddie told me what happened in study hall. was jana really out to humiliate maddie, or is maddie just being dramatic?
zoegirl:
maddie? dramatic? hahahahaha
SnowAngel:
but did jana really say all that, like jana didn’t even know maddie’s name?
zoegirl:
yeah, only… i don’t know. i think jana just wanted to straighten out the sub without technically correcting him.
SnowAngel:
oh
zoegirl:
don’t tell maddie i said that, though. she gets so weird when it comes to jana and that crowd.
SnowAngel:
it’s that whole stupid in-crowd thing. it’s so not fair. the nice ppl—like US—should be the popular ones. then we’d have all the power, but we’d use it in a good way. like if jana made some snide remark about someone’s kmart clothes, we cld bitch-slap her till she apologized.
zoegirl:
oh definitely. me, the b*tch-slapper.
SnowAngel:
and the next time she slammed someone’s reputation—remember when she “let it slip” about heidi larson’s shoplifting charge?—we cld dig up some dirt on her and post it online. then she’d know what it felt like.
zoegirl:
i guess
zoegirl:
i’ve got a conference with mr. h tomorrow, and i’m supposed to make a list of possible essay topics. i want to make a good impression, so off i go. bye!
Thu, Sept 9, 9:05 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
did they say anything else?
SnowAngel:
who?
mad maddie:
jana and terri, when u were in the bathroom with them.
SnowAngel:
no, except jana did mention how excited she was to be in homeroom with madeleine kinnick. JK!!!!
mad maddie:
ur a laugh riot
SnowAngel:
i know
SnowAngel:
seriously, maddie, jana is SO not worth your time. stop letting it get to u!
Fri, Sept 10, 8:51 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
hey, babe. how was your meeting with mr. h?
zoegirl:
it was good. it was kind of cool, actually, because after we talked about my paper, we talked about other things. like religion and stuff.
mad maddie:
in other words he stared at your boobs and lectured u about the sins of the body?
zoegirl:
no!
zoegirl:
that’s not at *all* what happened.
mad maddie:
when i had him for journalism last year, he was always having girls stay late for “conferences.” once he made jody fisher stay late and do the skirt-length test, like did her fingers reach farther than the bottom of it when she held her hands to her sides.
zoegirl:
i have a really hard time believing that.
zoegirl:
or if he did, he was probably just trying to watch out for her. like he didn’t want her to get busted for breaking the dress code.
mad maddie:
she said he got a total stiffie while they were talking. she said it was hysterical.
zoegirl:
that’s ridiculous. mr. h would never do that.
mad maddie:
what makes u so sure?
zoegirl:
because he’s NICE. because he treats me like i’m a person instead of a kid. that’s what was so great during our meeting—we were just two people having a discussion.
mad maddie:
what did the two of u “discuss”?
zoegirl:
NOT skirt lengths or anything like that. geez. we both said how we believe there’s meaning to life, that everything’s not random and pointless like some people think. mr. h talked about christianity a little—how he’s sure God has a plan for him. he told me that everything that happens, happens for a reason. doesn’t that give you the chills?
mad maddie:
yesterday at publix, a little kid rammed me with a grocery cart. was there a message there? cuz i think i missed it.
zoegirl:
he also said that sometimes you’ll meet someone totally unexpected and it’ll change your life in a way you can’t even imagine. now that really gave me the chills.
mad maddie:
zoe. do u even hear what ur saying?
zoegirl:
what?
mad maddie:
“it’ll change your life in a way u can’t even imagine”? he is hitting on u!!!
zoegirl:
shut up. just because you can’t be serious, that doesn’t mean no one else can.
zoegirl:
it was a good conversation. it felt… important.
mad maddie:
whatevs. i still say he’s hitting on u!
Fri, Sept 10, 9:19 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
i’m listening to the Contemporary Christian station on Pandora in your honor. thought u should know.
zoegirl:
; yeah right
mad maddie:
it’s giving me warm JC fuzzines, baby!
Sun, Sept 12, 8:52 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
aarrghhh!
zoegirl:
hello to you too.
SnowAngel:
aarrghhhhhhh!
zoegirl:
something bothering you?
SnowAngel:
chrissy dropped my face brush into the toilet!!!
zoegirl:
huh?
SnowAngel:
my hinoki polishing facial brush—IN THE TOILET!!! *stomps on picture of chrissy*
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