One Bad Apple

by Zack Zombie

Right then, Blaze and the crew walked in the cafeteria.

  “Zack, you joinin’ us?” Blaze asked.

  “I’ll see you clowns later!” I said really loud to the guys so that Blaze could hear me.

  As I walked away and looked back, I saw the guys and they looked really embarrassed.

  I kind of felt bad. But before I could think about it, Blaze started talking.

  “Hey, let’s cut class everybody. I’ll meet you guys at our usual hangout,” Blaze said.

  “Sure thing, man,” the guys said. “We’ll see you later.”

  “Zack, you comin’ this time?” Blaze asked me.

  Man, I knew I shouldn’t skip class. Especially because I had a test to study for.

  But I couldn’t miss this opportunity. It may never come again. I mean, opportunities like this don’t happen often in the life of a middle school Zombie kid.

  Gulp!

  “Yeah. I’ll be there,” I squealed out.

  “That’s what I thought,” Blaze said as he slapped me on the back.

  Man, this is it. I’ve finally arrived.

  Then my shirt caught fire again.

  Tuesday

  Wow, yesterday was so awesome.

  I finally got a chance to hang out with Blaze and the cool kids and find out what they do when they cut class.

  I kinda thought they were going to race their cars down some abandoned alley.

  Or, I thought they were going out to scare villagers on the dangerous side of town.

  Or maybe even get into a fight with some Silverfish gangs.

  But they just sat around making fun of everybody at school.

  Or they talked about how much they hated their parents.

  “Parents are a real pain,” one of the kids named Creeps said.

  “Yeah, I can’t stand my old man,” another one of the kids named Slimo said.

  “As soon as I graduate, I’m leaving and never coming back,” a kid named Enderdude said.

  “Yeah, parents are lame,” Blaze said.

  It wasn’t exactly what I expected.

  And I felt a little weird about how they talked about their parents.

  But it was so cool anyway.

  We stayed out all afternoon yesterday, so when I got home, I was too tired to study for my test.

  So at school today, I was totally unprepared for our Mob Biology test.

  The test was on Mob digestive systems.

  I always wondered where the food goes after mobs eat.

  Like, when a skeleton eats, where does the food go?

  Or how about a slime? You can see right through them, and I never saw a stomach.

  Creepy said that his stomach is in his feet.

  I didn’t really believe him until one day I tickled his foot, and he threw up.

  I was really hoping that the test was about Zombie digestive systems.

  I can just lift up my shirt and see where that food goes.

  But when I got my test, I was doomed.

  The test was about Endermen.

  Man, I’ve never even seen an Endermen eat anything before.

  In the middle of the test, I saw Jacob, the Enderman boy that sits a few rows in front of me, pull out a Scarburst candy out of his pocket.

  Man, I lucked out! I thought. Now I can see how an Enderman eats.

  Then Jacob took the Scarburst and put it under his arm…and it disappeared!

  What…?

  Then he took another one and did it again.

  Man, it was gross, but it was exactly what I needed to answer most of the questions on the test.

  Way to go Jacob!

  Then Jacob did it again…and again…and again.

  Nasty!

  After the test was over, I came over to Jacob and asked him for a Scarburst.

  “I don’t like Scarbursts,” he said.

  “But I saw you eat like 30 of those things during the test.”

  “I wasn’t eating Scarbursts. My armpits just get itchy when I get nervous.”

  Then Jacob pulled out an orange guitar pick and started scratching his armpits.

  “Aaaahhh,” he said as he scratched his armpits…vigorously.

  Nasty.

  Wednesday

  “Here you go, Zombie. And I cannot stress enough how disappointed I am,” Ms. Bones said.

  I couldn’t even hear what Ms. Bones said, because all that I could pay attention to was the big fat red “F” on my test paper.

  I looked over at Blaze. After he got his test paper, he was smiling and giving fiery fist pounds to the guys around him.

  I don’t get it. How did he pass and I didn’t?

  After class I asked Blaze how he did on his test.

  “Read it and weep,” he said.

  There was a big fat green “A+” on his test paper.

  “How did you pass the test? I mean, when did you get a chance to study?”

  “Study? I don’t need to study to pass a test,” he said.

  “Wha…?”

  “Just hang out with me, Zack, and you’ll never have to study for another test ever again,” Blaze said.

  Wow. That would be awesome. Imagine never having to study for a test for the rest of my life.

  Blaze is my hero.

  “Really? What do I need to do?” I asked Blaze.

  “Well, our next test is on Friday. Just meet me and the guys tomorrow before school is closed.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  “We’re going to break into Ms. Bones’ office and get a copy of test. Then we’ll sneak out in the middle of the day so that we won’t get caught.”

  “In the middle of the day?!!! That’s crazy!!!! How are you going to keep from getting burned in the daylight?” I asked him.

  “Don’t worry about it, Zack. Once you hit puberty, mobs don’t burn in the daylight anymore.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. You’re what…13. Yeah, you’ll be fine.”

  Whoa, I never knew that, I thought.

  Wow. Blaze is so smart.

  “So this is what we’ll do,” Blaze said. “Tomorrow, before the end of school we’re all going to hide in the janitor’s closet. When the school closes we’ll all go to Ms. Bones’ office and take a pic of the test. When it turns daylight we’ll all sneak out, and that’s it. We’re home free.”

  I got to admit, it sounded like a good plan.

  But I felt bad because I said I wouldn’t ever cheat on any tests ever again.

  But the way Blaze explained it made it sound so cool.

  Plus, I didn’t want to let the guys down.

  Wow, I never knew that Zombies didn’t burn in daylight after a certain age.

  No one ever told me.

  Hmmm, I wonder what other secrets parents are hiding from us.

  Thursday

  Well, we did it.

  We got the test just like Blaze said.

  Now we’re just waiting here till it turns daylight so that nobody will see us sneak out of the school.

  I thought I would write in my journal to pass the time.

  I still feel a little bad about cheating on the test.

  But it feels so good to be wild and free.

  And I couldn’t have done it without my best bud Blaze.

  That guy is so cool. If it wasn’t for him, I’d still be a loser.

  It really is true what they say, “You turn out exactly like the people you hang out with.”

  And I hate to say it, but I would still be a loser if I kept hanging out with the other guys.

  “Alright guys, it’s daytime” Blaze said. “Creeps and Slimo, you guys go first. Ende
rdude, you go with me. Zack, you got the most important job. You come out last to make sure no one is following us, OK?”

  “Uh... Sure thing, Blaze,” I said.

  Then Creeps and Slimo went out into the daylight. I was really nervous until I saw that they didn’t burn.

  “See, I told you,” Blaze said.

  Then Blaze and Enderdude went outside into the daylight too. And they didn’t burn either.

  Blaze was right! Man, that dude is my hero.

  I waited a few minutes to make sure no one was following.

  Then it was my turn to go out.

  Wow, this was so exciting. My first heist. So cool.

  Look out world, here I come!

  Friday

  It’s a good thing some sheep were around taking pictures yesterday.

  They really helped me out of a jam.

  Well, the good thing is I didn’t have to take my test today.

  I’m just thinking about what Blaze said about how after puberty mobs don’t burn in daylight.

  …Something tells me I’m a late bloomer.

  Saturday

  Today I was at home growing my skin back, when I got a surprise visitor.

  “Steve! What are you doing here?”

  “I came by to see how you were doing. You’re looking a little crispy today.”

  “Yeah, I had an accident at school.”

  “Your parents told me,” Steve said. “You know, I like your parents. They’re really nice. Though I still don’t understand why they’re always holding their noses when they’re around me.”

  “They’re not used to human people smell. My Mom still thinks that humans smell funny.”

  “Yeah, I think your Dad forgot he was holding his nose when he shook my hand. I’ll just leave it right here on your dresser if that’s OK with you.”

  “Thanks for coming by,” I told Steve.

  “Yeah, the fellas told me you were going through some…well…you know…changes.”

  “Yeah, puberty is a real @#$%?&!”

  “Whoa! Zombie, I thought you said you weren’t going to curse anymore.”

  “Oh sorry, it just slipped out.”

  “You know Zombie, the guys are really worried that the new crowd you’re running with are changing you,” Steve said.

  “Naw, they’re pretty cool. Especially this new kid named Blaze. He’s really cool. He’s just like you…well, sort of.”

  “Really? Oh Ok. Well, then I bet he’s a really good guy you can talk to and share all your problems with.”

  “Uh…no.”

  “But I bet he helps you to do better in school, right?”

  “Uh…no.”

  “But I bet he really helps you figure out your parents so that you can get along with them better, right?”

  “Uh…no.”

  “Well, at least he’s straight with you and doesn’t tell you to do anything that will hurt you, right?”

  “Uh…”

  “And, he’s really cool with the people you care about like Skelee, Slimey and Creepy, right?”

  “Umm…”

  “And most of all, I bet he’ll be your friend no matter how cool you are, no matter how you dress, and no matter how you look, right?”

  “Uh… I don’t know.”

  Steve just looked at me with that look that said, ‘Zombie, you must be crazy…Snap out of it!’

  But all he said was, “Oh, OK… I’m sure he does other things that are really cool. He sounds like a really good friend.”

  “Uh… Yeah…thanks, Steve.”

  “Well, I gotta get going. But before I go, I got a surprise for you.”

  All of a sudden, Rajit walked in carrying a really big cake!

  “Me, Rajit and the guys made it for you, with the help of your Mom of course. We thought you would want something to snack on while you grew your skin back.”

  “Wow. Thanks Steve…”

  I didn’t really want to say anything because I felt really choked up. I also didn’t want to mention that the cake was a little creepy because it looked like Creepy.

  “No worries, Zombie. We love you bro,” Steve said. “See ya later.”

  Man, I knew I should be happy, but I felt really bad because of how I treated Rajit and the guys.

  Wow.

  I feel so confused.

  Sunday

  “ZOMBIE, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BABY?!!”

  “What are you talking about, Mom?” I said, thinking that my Mom had gone crazy.

  “Something is wrong with your little brother. All of a sudden he’s talking back, he’s saying bad words, and he even hit his pet chicken the other day.”

  “Well, what makes you think it was me? Maybe he saw something on TV or something.”

  “Oh, you really think you had nothing to do with it?” my Mom asked. “Well, then, take a look.”

  I went over to where my little brother was playing with his action figures.

  “Wha…?”

  And it got worse the more I heard Wesley talking and playing with his Squarebob Spongepants action figures.

  “Hey, why don’t you want to play wit me, Squarebob?”

  “Cause I found sum better fwends than you, Patwick.”

  “But I lub you Squarebob, you’re my best fwend.”

  “You’re a clown. I’ll see you lader, I’m going to go hang out wit my new fwend Bwaze.”

  “Squarebob, pwease don’t leave me.”

  “Take that Patwick! Smash! Pow! Cwunch! Boom!”

  “MUAHAHAHAHA!”

  I went back to my Mom with my mouth hanging open.

  “What do you have to say for yourself, young Zombie?”

  “UHHHHHHH….”

  “Don’t Uhhhh me. I want you to go talk to your father this instant!”

  I found my Dad in the living room watching his favorite show, Minecraft’s Funniest Home Videos.

  “Dad, Mom wanted me to come talk to you about Wesley.”

  “Whose Wesley? Oh, you mean the little juvenile delinquent that’s playing in the next room?”

  Gulp.

  “Zombie, I told you that you’re going to be the biggest influence in your little brother’s life. Whatever you do, he’s going to do it ten times more.”

  “But why me? I don’t want to be a role model for anybody. That’s just too much pressure for a 13 year old Zombie to handle.”

  “I know that’s a lot of responsibility to handle. And I know you never asked for it… You probably never even wanted a little brother.”

  I didn’t say anything about the last thing that Dad said. But it was true. I really never wanted a little brother. And now I can’t have any fun in my life or my little brother will end up in Minecraft prison or something.

  It’s just so unfair.

  “And I know you probably feel that it’s really unfair,” my Dad said.

  “Mmhmm.”

  “And you probably think that you can’t have any fun or your little brother will end up in Minecraft prison or something.”

  Whoa. How did he know that?

  “But you know, having a little brother is like looking into a mirror. Whenever you look at him, he will always show you what you’re really like inside.”

  “You mean like when Wesley was born, he looked like my appendix?”

  “Uh… No. Just remember that your little brother will reflect all of the good or all of the bad that is in you.”

  I still didn’t really get what my Dad was talking about. I think it’s because I don’t have a driver’s license.

  “Oh, OK. Thanks Dad.”

  “I believe in you, Zombie,” Dad said, and then he went back to watc
hing his favorite show.

  Man! Now I have to be careful about everything I do around my little brother.

  He’s going to get me in a lot of trouble with my parents if he keeps doing what I do.

  But how am I supposed to get my little brother to stop doing bad things and start doing the kind of good things that won’t get me in trouble?

  Monday

  Rajit asked me if I would walk with him to school today.

  I kind of wanted to, but I didn’t want to be seen around school with him.

  Don’t get me wrong, Rajit is a nice kid. But the other cool kids think he’s kind of a loser.

  “Sorry, Rajit, I’ve got to go to school early… Uh… I’ve got to catch up on some homework,” I said.

  “I need to catch up on some homework too,” Rajit said. “I can join you.”

  “No, no…that’s OK… Uh… I have some friends that I promised I would help them with their homework too.”

  “Don’t worry, Rajit,” my Mom said. “Zombie’s father and I can drive you to school this morning.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Zombie,” Rajit said. “I very much appreciate your hospitality.”

  Then Rajit went upstairs to finish getting ready.

  My Mom gave me a look like she was a little mad at what I said.

  “Zombie, you need to be more hospitable to Rajit,” she said. “Can’t you see he needs your help?”

  “What did I do now?!!”

  “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice, young Zombie!”

  “Forget this! I’m outta here!” I said as I slammed the door behind me.

  “Zombie! Get back here right now!” Was all I heard in the background as I walked away.

  I just thought about what Blaze would do.

  So, I didn’t even turn around.

  I just kept on walking.