If Loving You Is Wrong

by E. L. Todd

  I leaned back then pulled my sweater over my head. I wore a burgundy bra covered in lace. It showed the color of my skin but hid the most intimate parts.

  He took me in. Desire burned in his eyes but the resentment still lingered behind.

  I unclasped my bra and let it fall.

  He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I admit you’re beautiful, Skye. But this isn’t going to make me forget how upset I am—”

  I grabbed my chest with both hands and massaged my breasts, squeezing and rubbing them while I stared into his eyes.

  He swallowed the lump in his throat again while he stared at my moving hands. Quickly, he was forgetting the heated conversation we just had. The Cayson I knew and loved was in there, coming back.

  I stood up then pulled off my boots and jeans. I left my thong on before I moved back to his lap.

  Cayson eyed my body without shame, his thoughts as easy to read as an open book.

  I straddled his lap again, my hands moving to his shoulders. My breasts were in his face, and I felt his warm breath fall on my nipples.

  Cayson’s hands moved to my hips.

  I had him.

  His hands moved up the skin around my ribs. Then they moved to my chest, groping them. He leaned forward then pressed his lips against mine, giving me a gentle kiss. “I know I come off a little strong sometimes, but it’s only because I love you like crazy, Skye Preston.”

  I stared into his eyes, feeling the emotion leak from every pore in his body. Of all the years I’d known Cayson, he never gave anyone the look he was giving me. And he never said those words, at least not like that. “I love you too, Cayson.”

  He hooked an arm around my waist then rolled me to the couch, shifting on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me gently, moving his mouth against mine purposefully. He breathed into my mouth, making me hot everywhere. I hooked my legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me, wanting more than he could give.

  I gripped his shirt and yanked it off, wanting to feel his muscled chest against me. Then I moved to his jeans, getting them off. I took the boxers too, wanting all of him. He grabbed my thong and yanked it off, practically tearing it.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist again, feeling his cock against my folds. I’d been thinking about being with him for a long time. We’d been together for months, longer in terms of our friendship, and I didn’t want to wait anymore. He was mine and I was his.

  Cayson gave me one last kiss before he pulled away and looked into my eyes. It was clear he was thinking the same thing I was. He breathed hard then brushed his lips against mine.

  I moved one hand down his back until I reached his hip. I tugged him toward me, telling him what I wanted.

  Understanding filled his eyes. He adjusted himself then pressed his mouth against mine. Then he pointed himself at my entrance, ready to enter me. I dug my nails into his skin, anticipating the pleasure I was about to feel. I had decent sex throughout my life but I knew Cayson would be different. It would be beautiful and wonderful. My soul would touch his, and his mine.

  A knock on the door interrupted us.

  We both flinched, startled by the sound.

  Cayson broke our kiss and glanced toward the door.

  “Forget it. It’s probably a girl scout.” I grabbed his neck and crushed his lips to mine.

  The knock sounded again.

  Cayson pulled away. “It’s the pizza guy.”

  “Who cares about pizza?” I wanted Cayson, not food.

  He smirked. “Skye, I have to get that.” He left the couch then quickly pulled on his clothes.

  I sighed then pulled the blanket over me, hiding my body.

  Cayson answered the door and took the pizza. After he paid the guy, he set it on the kitchen table.

  The magical moment was ruined.

  Cayson placed the pizza on two plates then he brought me one.

  I sighed then took the plate, feeling my stomach rumble. I was more than disappointed. I was totally crestfallen.

  Cayson leaned toward me and kissed me on the cheek. “We have the rest of our lives, baby.”

  I sighed then took a bite of my pizza. “You’re right.”

  He rubbed his nose against mine then took a bite of his pizza. “I Love Lucy?”

  “Sure.”

  He leaned back against the couch then pulled me next to him. We watched TV together, like we used to when we were just friends, but now everything was different. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Slade

  My life was turned upside down.

  After I slept with Trinity, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. She was drunk and I was drunk. We were both out of our minds. We fucked against a wall in the snow like animals. I had a lot of wild sex but I have to say that was the wildest. I didn’t even wear a condom.

  And it was Trinity.

  If anyone found out, it would ruin me. It would get back to Uncle Mike and I’d be as good as dead. My dad was easy-going and pretty much cool with everything, but I don’t think he would be too happy about this. My mom would probably slap me. I’d been a jerk to everyone I knew, but I was never a jerk to my family. I crossed a line I could never uncross.

  But one thing made it worse. She was the best sex I ever had.

  Maybe I remembered history in a different way than it really happened. Since I was drunk and disoriented, maybe I thought it was better than it really was. What if it was sluggish and awkward? How long did it even last?

  The guilt was eating me alive.

  Trinity and I talked about it and we settled our differences. I was grateful she wasn’t in love with me like Cayson was with Skye. That would just give me more problems. I didn’t want a relationship, especially with her. I wasn’t a one-woman type of guy. She knew that. Shit, everyone knew that.

  But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Every time someone asked me about her, I felt like they were shining a light in my eye. Did they know? Did they hear something? I had a small panic attack every time.

  Since Cayson was my best friend, it was hard to keep him in the dark. I told him everything, even if he didn’t always want to hear about all my sexual conquests. And he told me everything he did with Skye. The decent thing would be to reciprocate with what I did with Trinity.

  But I couldn’t tell anyone about that—not a soul.

  I was going through women quicker than usual. I picked them up left and right and had my way with them. But nothing hit the spot. They either just lay there and did nothing, or they just weren’t good in bed—period.

  I kept comparing them to my night with Trinity. Even though most of it was a blur, I still knew it was awesome. I would never admit it to Trinity. I’d take it to the grave rather than say it out loud. But I was definitely thinking it.

  I ran into Roland in the hallway. “Going to Trinity’s tonight?”

  “What? Why? I’m not seeing her,” I blurted.

  He cocked an eyebrow. “She’s having people over for game night. I just assumed you were going.”

  “Oh…yeah. Totally.” Totally? I’ve said that word twice in my entire life.

  Roland eyed me for a long time. “You okay, man?”

  “I’m groovy.” I walked away before he could ask me another question.

  ***

  When I arrived at Trinity’s house, I set the beer on the counter.

  Everyone was seated on the couch, talking and watching TV. Trinity wore a burgundy dress with a pink scarf. The color looked good on her fair skin tone, and her blonde hair contrasted against it perfectly. The fabric clung to her hourglass figure and her perky breasts. She was thin and tall, but she was all curves in all the right places. She kept brushing loose strands from her face but they fell every time. Her fingernails were the same color as her dress. Black tights were on her legs slightly see-through and lacy. Black heels were on her feet, making her calf muscles more prominent. She dressed in a classy but elegant way.
/>   Why was I noticing every little damn detail?

  I put the bottles in the refrigerator and kept one for myself. I used my lighter to pop open the cap.

  “I have a bottle opener.”

  I turned to see Trinity. Up close, I could see the light make up on her face. Gray eye shadow was over her eyes and black eye liner really made them noticeable. Her lips were red and shiny. “This works too.”

  “Yeah…but I don’t want you to set off the fire alarm.”

  “This is the cool way to open it.”

  “And the dangerous way,” she added.

  I leaned against the counter and drank my beer. “Are you asking me to stop?”

  “No. I’m just offering a better solution.”

  Our eyes met and a moment passed between us. I thought about our night fucking against a wall and I was pretty sure she did too. “Are you doing okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

  “Zack held you down in a library…that couldn’t have felt good.”

  “Oh, that.” She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t scared then and I’m not scared now.”

  “Has he bothered you or anything?” If he did, I’d kill him.

  “No. But I usually wear heels so I’ll give him a good kick in the nuts next time I see him.”

  “Leave him to me. I’ll kill him instead.”

  “I’m sure Cayson will beat you to the punch.”

  I eyed Cayson and Skye on the couch. They were close and cuddly. Just as in love as ever. “I guess he got over it.”

  “I’m sure she did something with her titties and Cayson completely forgot.”

  I glanced at Trinity’s breasts then looked away.

  “Did you just check out my chest?”

  She caught me? “No…”

  “Slade, I saw you.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “I was looking at you when you did it.”

  “Wow, you’re conceited.”

  “I’m not conceited,” she argued. “I know what I saw.”

  “You’re absolutely hideous.”

  “It didn’t seem that way when you were fucking my brains out,” she snarled.

  I glanced at everyone in the living room then turned back to her. “Shh! Keep your voice down.”

  She rolled her eyes. “They aren’t listening to us.”

  “You better hope not.”

  “I’m the one who has something to be embarrassed about. So just chill out.”

  “See?” I said. “Conceited.”

  “I just know my value.”

  “If you did, you wouldn’t let me screw you next to a dumpster.”

  “Maybe I like being screwed by a dumpster.”

  My cock hardened and twitched. What the fuck was wrong with me? “You’ve done it before?”

  “Just because I don’t talk about every sexual experience doesn’t mean I don’t have plenty.”

  “Sounds like you’re a whore.”

  “Sounds like you’re a sexist pig,” she countered. Trinity was the only woman who argued with me like this. All the other women in my life listened to what I said and let me get my way. She called me out on my shit and told me off more times than I could count. I didn’t realize it until that moment.

  I finished my beer then grabbed another.

  She held out the bottle opener.

  Being defiant, I took out the lighter and burned the lid.

  “You don’t even smoke. It makes more sense to carry around a bottle opener instead of a lighter.”

  “Not really. You can do a lot with a lighter.”

  “Like burn down trees?” she said sarcastically.

  “You’re such an annoying brat.”

  “And you’re a jerk. What’s new?”

  I stared her down, feeling annoyed all over again. “I’m going to walk away before I slap you across that pretty face.”

  “You think I have a pretty face?” she challenged.

  I walked away before I did something stupid. I sat beside Cayson on the couch.

  Cayson eyed me, seeing the annoyed look on my face. “So you and Trinity are back to normal?”

  “Something like that.” I drank my beer with a clenched jaw.

  “Twister!” Trinity pulled out the box and set it up. “Let’s do it.”

  “We aren’t five,” Conrad said.

  “Come on,” Trinity said. “It’ll be fun.”

  “Let’s do it.” Silke straightened out the game on the floor.

  “Whatever.” Conrad rolled his eyes. “But then we’re playing UNO.”

  They started the game but I didn’t participate. Trinity put her hands and feet on the right dots. As much as I tried not to look at specific parts of her body, I couldn’t help it. When her ass was directly in my face, I stared at it, remembering how good it felt in my hands.

  They played a few rounds before we moved on to UNO. I stayed far away from Trinity and tried not to look at her. She was distracting and it was really getting under my skin.

  Skye won three rounds in a row.

  “God, you’re annoying,” Roland said.

  “It’s not my fault you suck,” she countered.

  Cayson gave her a fond look then rubbed his nose against hers.

  “None of that,” Conrad said. “It’s gross.”

  “You’re gross,” Silke said. “Cayson and Skye are adorable.”

  Conrad rolled his eyes. “Girls…”

  When we were tired of the board games, we watched TV. I leaned back in the chair and didn’t finish my third beer. I didn’t eat enough and they were going to my head. The last time I was around Trinity when I was drunk, it was a disaster.

  My phone rang in my pocket and I saw the name on the screen. It was my dad. Why was he calling me? I walked out the backdoor and stood in Trinity’s back yard. Then I took the call. “Yo.”

  “Yo,” he said back. “What’s going on?”

  “You tell me. You called.”

  “I haven’t talked to you in a while. Wanted to see what you were up to.”

  “You never check up on me,” I countered.

  “I know. I’m a horrible father,” he said with a laugh.

  “No. You’re an awesome father.”

  My dad didn’t have a response to that.

  “Why are you calling so late?”

  “Late? Aren’t you a night owl?” my dad asked.

  “Yeah.” He had a point.

  “So, what’s new?”

  “Nothing. Just school.”

  “There’s got to be something else,” he pressed.

  “I’ve been getting pretty good with the guitar. I should drop out of school and join a band.”

  “Your mother would love that,” he said sarcastically.

  “And my artwork is getting better. I drew this piece of a tiger moving through stalks of grass. I want you to ink it on me.”

  “I’ll take a look at it when you come down for a visit.”

  “So, what’s new with you, Dad?”

  “Nothing. The shop is doing well. Your mother has been busy with work, but that’s not surprising.”

  “Why don’t you guys retire?” I asked. “You’re like a hundred.”

  “Do hundred-year-old guys get hit on left and right?”

  “Rich ones do.”

  “Well, I’m not rich. So it’s obviously just my looks and sex appeal.”

  “I’m going to tell Mom you said that.”

  He laughed. “You think she doesn’t know this already?”

  “I guess you’re right,” I said with a laugh.

  “Well, I’ll let you go. I’m sure you’re up to no good and I’m interrupting.”

  I smirked. “You know me so well, Dad.”

  “I do,” he said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Okay.”

  “I love you, kid.”

  “I love you too.”

  He hung up.

  I put my phone back in my pocket then stepped inside.

>   Everyone was gone. Empty beer bottles were on the coffee tables and counters. The games were piled on the floor. Snacks and plates were littered everywhere.

  How long was I on the phone?

  I closed the door and stepped inside.

  Trinity was piling garbage into a bag. “You’re still here?”

  “I was talking to my dad,” I explained.

  “What’s he up to?”

  “Nothing new.” I watched her bend over and grab an empty beer bottle. “Everyone left?”

  “You think they’re all in the bathroom?” she said sarcastically.

  “You know, I’m a jerk to you because you’re a bitch to me.”

  She laughed. “Cut the shit, Slade.” She threw the plates and napkins away then left the bag against the wall. “Well, thanks for coming over.”

  “Sure…”

  She put her hands on her hips and stared at me.

  “I guess I should go…” It was awkward being alone with her…in a house…with a bed.

  “Yeah.” She walked toward the door and I followed her.

  She opened it. “I’ll see you around.”

  “Yeah.” I stopped and looked at her. “Thanks for having me over…” I wasn’t sure why I said that. I was never polite.

  Surprise moved into her eyes but she didn’t say anything.

  I didn’t cross the threshold. I stayed on this side of the door, unsure what was keeping me there. I kept thinking about her long legs under her dress. When they were wrapped around my waist, it felt so good. I remembered how good it felt to be inside her. All the girls I’d been screwing didn’t compare to her—at all.

  She studied my face, her eyes guarded.

  I needed to leave…

  Trinity said nothing, just waiting.

  Whatever. I was horny and I was going for it.

  I pushed her against the wall then sealed my mouth over hers. The door was still open and the nighttime air came in but I ignored it. I gripped her hips then moved my lips against hers aggressively.

  She didn’t respond initially. Her mouth was immobile. She was probably in shock, unsure what was going on.

  I kept kissing her, hoping for the best. I pressed my body against hers, my erection noticeable in my jeans. I felt her breasts against my chest and I wanted to feel them again. I wanted to taste them this time.