If Loving You Is Wrong

by E. L. Todd

  Trinity returned her attention to her magazine and flipped through the pages.

  I opened my textbooks and began to study.

  An hour of silence passed until I heard the chair move beside me. I turned, hoping to see Cayson. It wasn’t him.

  Zack was staring me down. His face was back to normal and no bruises lingered behind. Judging by the anger in his eyes, he wasn’t here to discuss ponies and rainbows. “So, you and lover boy, huh? I shouldn’t be surprised.”

  “Zack, go away.”

  He grabbed my wrist. “No. I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen.”

  Trinity glared at him. “Let go or I’ll break your dick.”

  He ignored her, still staring at me. “So, first your dad beats the shit out of me, then I find out you’re fucking the guy you spent all your time with when we were together. I’m not happy, Skye. You claim I played you but it’s the other way around.”

  “I said let her go,” Trinity threatened.

  I wasn’t scared of Zack and I refused to act like it. “I suggest you let go of me. Otherwise, you’re going to get your ass kicked by two girls.”

  He dropped his hand but didn’t move away. “You owe me.”

  What? “Owe you what?”

  “An apology. You totally played me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re so pathetic.”

  “Apologize to me or I’ll make your boyfriend pay for it.” His eyes held his mirth.

  “Did you just threaten Cayson?” Now I was pissed. Zack could do and say whatever he wanted to me and it didn’t make me blink twice. But threatening someone I cared about was another story.

  Trinity left her chair and came around the table, coming behind him. Then she grabbed him by the hair and yanked him to the ground.

  “Fucking bitch,” Zack mumbled.

  We were the only ones in the corner so no one noticed the disturbance. The Harvard library was enormous. We were practically alone.

  Trinity kicked him hard in the balls. “You think that makes me a bitch? I’m not even done.” She kicked him again.

  He curled in a ball and moaned.

  “Nobody threatens Cayson and gets away with it.” She kicked him again but Zack caught her leg. Then he pulled her foot out from under her, making her fall down.

  “Shut the hell up.” Zack moved on top of her and held her down. “As I was saying...”

  I stood up and kicked him hard in the arm.

  He pressed his lips together and took the hit. “If you don’t want me to hurt your friend, I suggest you knock it off.”

  “You’re psycho. I can’t believe I ever dated you,” I said.

  “Maybe I wasn’t so bad in bed, after all.”

  Trinity tried to wiggle free. “Get off of me, jackass!”

  The sound of approaching feet caught my attention. And Zack’s. I turned and grabbed my ethics textbook, preparing to slam it on Zack’s head.

  “What the fuck?” It was Slade. He took one look at Zack on top of Trinity and snapped. “Fucking piece of shit!” He rushed Zack then yanked him off, thrusting his head into the carpet while he did it. “You want to die? Because it seems like it.” Slade punched him hard in the jaw then rushed to Trinity. “Trin, are you okay?” He pulled her up so she was sitting. He kept his arm around her then grabbed her chin, examining her face.

  “I’m fine,” she said immediately. “He didn’t hurt me.”

  Relief filled his eyes.

  “But you better bust out that Krav Maga and kick his ass.”

  “You got it.” He stood, but Zack was gone. We were both concerned for Trinity and forgot him for a moment. Slade searched the aisles then came back when he couldn’t find him. “I’ll see him again. And when I do, he’ll have no teeth.” He came back to Trinity and helped her stand up. Then he looked at me. “Skye, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I answered.

  Slade pulled out a chair for Trinity and helped her sit down. “What the hell happened?”

  “Zack wanted to talk but Trinity tried to kick his ass instead,” I explained.

  “I kicked him in the balls a few times. I would have done more damage if it wasn’t so cramped,” Trinity said.

  Slade rested his hand on her back and rubbed her gently. “You sure you’re alright?” Concern was in his eyes.

  “He didn’t do anything except pin me down,” she said.

  I’d never seen Slade be so affectionate with Trinity—or any girl.

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you girls are alright.”

  “We aren’t scared of him,” Trinity said. “He’s a fucking pussy.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed.

  Slade gave me a firm look. “I think it’s time to tell your dad, Skye.”

  “No.” That wasn’t an option.

  “He’s obviously not going to leave you alone,” Slade pressed.

  “I got myself into this mess and I’ll get myself out,” I said. “Zack isn’t dangerous. He’s annoying but not dangerous.”

  Slade wasn’t so sure. “What does he want?”

  “He keeps saying my dad put him in the hospital, which he didn’t.”

  Emotion moved into Slade’s eyes but he didn’t react in any other way.

  “And he thinks I had a thing with Cayson while we were together. He wants an apology.”

  “Weirdo,” Slade said.

  “He is,” Trinity said. “I can’t believe you were fucking him.”

  “Don’t remind me,” I said miserably.

  “Cayson isn’t going to be pleased when he finds out.” Slade shook his head.

  “I know…” I didn’t want to tell him.

  “He’ll be hovering around you every second of the day,” Slade said.

  That didn’t sound so bad.

  Slade continued to rub Trinity’s shoulder. “Can I get you something to eat?”

  “We aren’t supposed to eat in the library. Remember?” she teased.

  He smirked. “How could I forget?”

  What was going on? “I thought you hated each other?”

  Slade dropped his hand immediately. “We do. I just wanted to make sure she was okay…not that I care or anything.”

  They were the weirdest people I knew…

  ***

  Cayson came over that night with a vase of flowers. Green stems left the glass and erupted into beautiful red roses. There were a dozen and they smelled wonderful.

  I studied them for a moment before I grabbed them. “They are beautiful.”

  His eyes shined in adoration. He stepped inside then placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “I know your favorite flower is the lily, but I also know that’s your dad’s territory.”

  I smirked. “It is a tradition.”

  “Roses are more romantic anyway.”

  “They are.” I filled the vase with water then set it on the table. “But you shouldn’t be getting me anything. I should be the one kissing your ass.”

  He grinned. “It’s water under the bridge, Skye. Just forget about it.”

  “You let me off the hook so easily.”

  “Well…you gave me an incredible apology.” He came close to me and hooked his arms around my waist. His nose rubbed against mine gently.

  I felt redness move into my cheeks. “I guess I know what to do in the future.”

  He chuckled. “It looks like you do.”

  I rested my face against his chest, feeling it rise and fall. His scent came into my nose and I felt relaxed, comfortable. The cotton of his t-shirt felt good against my cheek.

  “How was your day?” he whispered.

  I immediately thought about Zack. I really didn’t want to get into it until after dinner. “Fine. How about yours?”

  “Pretty lame. But, then again, my life is always lame when you aren’t around.” His hand moved up my back and rested between my shoulder blades.

  “Mine too.” I felt warmth move through my body.

  He pressed his forehead against
mine. “Where did you want to eat?”

  I shrugged. “Pizza is good.”

  He laughed. “You always want pizza.”

  “It’s good,” I argued.

  “Whatever you want, baby.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door. His phone vibrated in his pocket so he pulled it out and checked it. Then he shoved it back inside.

  I grabbed my coat then we walked down the stairs.

  He sighed then pulled out his phone when it vibrated again. He looked at it with a sigh then put it back in his pocket. As soon as he returned it, it vibrated again.

  “Someone is popular.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Slade has called me five times in a row.”

  My heart skipped a beat. I knew why he was calling.

  “Damn, what does he want?” He pulled the phone out again.

  I snatched it away. “He probably wants you to head to a strip club with him or something.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “There’re no strip clubs around here.”

  “That we know of. But Slade would.” It kept vibrating in my hand.

  “I’ll just tell him to stop calling.” He held out his hand and waited for me to pass it to him.

  Uh…I took the call instead. “Cayson’s busy. Stop calling.”

  “You didn’t tell him, did you?” Annoyance was in his voice.

  Cayson stared at me with a suspicious look on his face.

  “He’ll call you later,” I said.

  “You had all day to tell him and it’s obvious you aren’t going to. Now hand him the damn phone.”

  “Okay, talk to you later.” I hung up and put the phone in my pocket.

  Cayson eyed me with a raised eyebrow. “What’s going on, Skye?”

  “I’m just making sure you don’t get a headache.” I walked to his car, feeling the phone vibrate in my pocket again and again.

  Cayson knew something was up. “Is there something you need to tell me?” He walked behind me then cornered me into the door of his car. He put his hands on either side of me, caging me in. A dark look came into his eyes.

  I stared up at him, seeing his breath escape as vapor. “No…”

  “We’ve known each other for a long time, Skye. I know when you’re lying. You can fool everyone else but you can’t fool me.” He brushed his lips passed mine, his mouth warm in the freezing night.

  I cupped his face and gave him a warm kiss. “I want to wait until after dinner.”

  “Why?” He stepped closer to me, pinning me against the car door.

  “I’m hungry.”

  “You’re always hungry.” His teasing nature was gone, replaced by seriousness.

  “Well, I’m really hungry.”

  “And I’m really curious.”

  I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t let up. “I’m not telling you until after dinner. And it’s not even that big of a deal. So drop it.”

  He studied my face, seeing the determination in my eyes. He lowered his hands. “Fine.”

  “Thank you.”

  He stepped back. “You better make this worth my while.”

  “I always do.”

  Cayson opened the door for me then helped me inside before he got into the driver’s seat. He was about to start the car when a vehicle slammed to a stop behind us and blocked us in.

  “What the…?” Cayson looked in the rearview mirror.

  I looked in the side mirror and my heart fell. Slade’s car had boxed us in. God, he was annoying.

  “What the hell is he doing?” Cayson got out and slammed the door.

  I rolled my eyes then left the car, joining Cayson in the rear.

  Slade left his car, the engine still on.

  Cayson’s eyes were wide. “Dude, what’s going on?”

  Slade gave me a long glare before he looked at Cayson again. “Your precious girlfriend refrained from telling you an important piece of information. And since she isn’t going to admit it, I have to say something.”

  “Slade, stay out of our relationship,” I snapped.

  “You had all day to tell him but you never did. He has the right to know! And not tomorrow or a week from now. He needs to know right this second.”

  “I was going to tell him after dinner,” I hissed.

  “Sure…” Slade wasn’t buying it. He looked back at Cayson. “So this is the story—”

  Cayson held up his hand. “I want to hear it from Skye.”

  Slade shut his mouth then looked at me.

  Cayson turned his eyes on me, and he didn’t look happy. “What is it?”

  I wanted to slap Slade right then. “Trinity and I were in the library this afternoon when Zack stopped by. He’s pissed I’m dating you and he wanted an apology. Trinity kicked him a few times then Zack pinned her down. Slade came in then and chased him off.”

  Cayson’s face was unreadable. He stared me down, his jaw clenched tight.

  “It wasn’t even a big deal. It was just annoying.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I was going to tell you but I wanted to wait until after dinner. It’s not even worth discussing.”

  “Not worth discussing?” Slade snapped. “He’s bothered you twice now. And he held Trinity down. That shit’s not okay in my book.”

  “Slade, go home.” Cayson didn’t look at him when he said it.

  Slade sighed then walked off. His footsteps were loud against the cold pavement. His engine revved as he hit the gas and drove away. When the sound of his tires was gone, I knew we were alone.

  Cayson hadn’t blinked once. “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “There wasn’t any time. And Slade was there.”

  “What does that matter?” His voice was low and calm, but the ferocity was evident in his tone. “I’m your boyfriend, not Slade.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t overreact.”

  “Don’t. Roll. Your. Eyes.” He stared me down, his anger flashing.

  The world suddenly became silent. The snow fell around us, masking us in a winter wonderland.

  “Skye, I was annoyed that Zack bothered you before. But the fact he’s done it again makes me uneasy. Really uneasy.”

  “He’s annoying but not dangerous.”

  “It doesn’t seem like it. Holding Trinity down is unacceptable.”

  “I’m not saying what he did was right. But he wouldn’t actually hurt me or Trinity.”

  “You don’t know that,” he snapped.

  “In a few weeks, he’ll be over it and move on.”

  “And I’m just supposed to patiently wait until he’s ready to move on?” he snapped.

  “There’s no other option. It’s not like I can call the police. What would I even say? What evidence do I have?”

  “We don’t need the police,” he snarled. “We need someone with the power to get rid of someone—no questions asked.”

  I knew what he was implying. “Don’t you dare tell my father.”

  “I’m running out of options, Skye. I’d gladly kill him with my bare hands but I have a feeling you wouldn’t like that very much.”

  “No one is going to kill anybody,” I snapped. “Why is that the first thing you think of?”

  “Because it’s the best option.”

  “No, it’s not! Zack isn’t a threat. I can handle him.”

  “And what would you have done if Slade hadn’t showed up?” Cayson asked.

  “I was about to slam my ethics book right on his skull. I’m sure that would have knocked him out.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair, flustered.

  “Leave my father out of this. I mean it, Cayson.”

  He stared into the distance.

  “Cayson.”

  He turned his gaze back on me. “I’m not letting you out of my sight. I don’t care if it pisses you off. If he thinks he can harass you again, he’s in for a surprise.”

  This was the reaction I expected so I guess I couldn’t be upset. “Fine.”

  “I’m glad we’re on the same page.” His jaw was s
till clenched.

  “Cayson, I can take care of myself.”

  “I know you can. But you don’t have to.”

  I kept my arms across my chest. “Now what?”

  “I’m not in the mood to sit in a restaurant and pretend I’m fine. Let’s order in.” He walked toward the apartment.

  I stayed in my spot before I trailed behind him and walked up the stairs.

  When he reached the door he held out his hand. “Can I have my phone back?”

  I handed it to him.

  “Just for the record, I don’t like hearing this shit from my friends. I want to hear it from you.” Anger still lingered in his voice.

  “I wanted to wait until after dinner. I already said that.”

  He walked inside then pulled off his coat. “I think that’s more important than a meal.”

  “I just didn’t want to watch you brood all night long.”

  “That’s too damn bad. You’re everything to me, Skye. I’m not going to let some guy harass you. The fact you’re my girlfriend is irrelevant. I will not let some jackass treat you that way.”

  “Like I said, I can handle him.”

  Cayson was struggling to still his emotion. He turned away from me then headed to the couch, his shoulders stiff with tension.

  I opened the drawer of take-out menus then found my favorite pizza place. I pulled out my phone and made the call. When I was done, the silence stretched in my apartment. Cayson still sat on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen.

  I didn’t want to spend our night like this. Cayson wasn’t angry very often, and I hated feeling his fury linger in the air like the moisture after a heavy rain. I sat beside him on the couch then scooted close to him. I hooked my arm around his stomach and leaned close to him. My lips brushed his neck before I planted a kiss on the warm skin. Cayson didn’t react to my touch. I continued to kiss him, tasting him. When my hand moved up his chest, I guided him against the back of the couch, forcing him to relax. He sighed but didn’t push me away.

  I moved into his lap then straddled his hips. I flipped my hair over one shoulder as I undid my scarf.

  Anger still thudded in his eyes.

  I pressed my chest against his then sought his neck with my lips, kissing him the way he liked.

  He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. But his hands were idle by his sides, not touching me.

  My hands massaged his shoulders and I gave him my best moves. I knew it would take awhile to loosen him up. When a quiet moan, almost unnoticeable, came from his lips, I knew I was getting somewhere.