Needing Forever VOL 1: Part of The Rocker... Series Universe

by Terri Anne Browning

  She moved around a lot in her sleep, but I liked that. All night, she’d shifted from her side to her stomach to her back, but always cuddled into me like I was her lifeline, anchoring her to reality while she floated through dreamland.

  “House phone activated.” The soft female voice of the computer announced throughout the apartment. “Jade Oliver calling.”

  Mieke went still against me, and I looked down to find her blinking up at the ceiling. “That’s kind of creepy,” she mumbled.

  “Should have heard it before my dad made the voice more human. The original one was so robotic, it freaked my mom out.” Raising my voice slightly, I spoke to the computer. “Answer.”

  “Connecting.”

  Almost immediately, I heard Jade’s annoying giggle and knew she was probably still drunk from the night before. “Hey, Kade! Whatcha doing?”

  “Trying to sleep, Jade,” I told her grumpily.

  “Oh, damn. Sorry.” There was a pause before she lowered her voice. “Want some company?”

  Mieke froze in my arms, her face tightening with pain, while her beautiful eyes flashed with jealousy. “Knock it off, Jade,” I snapped at her, hating that look in my girl’s eyes. Jade was someone I’d hooked up with in our freshman year, once and only once. Afterward, we’d remained friends, but we weren’t that close. We had the same friends, so we hung out with the same people regularly.

  “Ah, come on. I’m horny as fuck this morning, and there’s no one here who can get me off like you can, Kade.”

  I felt Mieke pulling away before she even shifted physically, and I cursed Jade for her untimely call. Sitting up, Mieke tried to stand too quickly, only to land back on her ass, holding her head in her hands. “Shit,” she groaned.

  “Jade, don’t call me again.”

  “But, Kaden—”

  “Disconnect,” I commanded the computer. “Block Jade Oliver.” Moving across the bed, I positioned myself so Mieke was sitting between my legs. Rubbing both hands up and down her back, I kissed her shoulder. She stiffened at my touch, pulling away as much as she could from my mouth.

  I tightened my hands around her waist. “Please don’t,” I breathed against her exposed neck. “Jade is nothing to me. Just a friend I stupidly hooked up with when I was a freshman. It was one time, baby. A dumb mistake.”

  “You don’t need to explain yourself to me,” she said in a tight voice. “It’s not any of my business.” Her hands covered mine and I started to relax, but she pushed me off her and stood, much slower this time. “I need to use the bathroom.”

  I watched her disappear into my connecting bathroom. Seconds later, the door shut, and I heard the lock engage. Groaning, I fell back onto the mattress. Fuck. This morning had started off so good. Waking up with Mieke in my arms was the best way to start the day.

  Then Jade had to go and screw it all up.

  Scrubbing both hands over my face, I waited and listened as Mieke moved around in the bathroom, trying to hear if she needed any help. She was probably dizzy as hell this morning, and the pain meds they gave her at the ER last night must have been long gone now. No doubt, her head was splitting.

  When I heard the shower turn on, I jumped up and knocked on the door. “Baby, don’t try to shower on your own. You might fall.”

  “Go away, Kaden,” she yelled back. “I’m just rinsing off. Then I want to go back to my dorm.”

  Damn it. I wanted to spend the day with her.

  “Mieke—”

  “Fuck, I’m so not ready for this shit today, Michelle,” I thought I heard her mutter. “What am I going to do now?”

  “Baby?”

  She grumbled something I couldn’t hear before raising her voice. “I said, go away. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  Sighing, I leaned my back against the door and waited. I heard her groan long and loud in pleasure a minute later, and I knew she had stepped under the powerful jets of the shower. Knowing she was enjoying it, and that right that second, her entire body was dripping with water, made my cock throb. I palmed it through my pajama pants, trying to ease some of the pain. The tip dripped, coating my left thigh in the sticky substance.

  Two minutes later, the water was turned off, and I could picture her wrapping one of the towels around her amazing body. A body I hadn’t gotten to feast my eyes on fully yet. I beat the back of my head into the door, cursing my own stupidity. I never should have answered Jade’s call in the first place.

  Now Mieke was jealous, maybe even hurting because of it. The thought of her in pain for any reason was enough to drive me over the edge.

  I heard her footsteps and turned to face her when the door opened. Her shirt was on, but her panties were balled up in her hand. With a yelp of surprise, she thrust the hand holding them behind her back.

  No fucking way was she keeping me from seeing them.

  Carefully, I took her elbow and pulled her hand back around. Covering her fist with my own hand, I gently pried her fingers from around the ball of soft cotton and took them from her. “These are mine now,” I told her as I lowered my head and nuzzled her neck with my lips.

  Her free hand clutched at my bicep to hold her balance, her breathing suddenly coming in soft little pants. “Kaden.”

  “Shh,” I breathed against her flesh, and I groaned when I couldn’t smell her sweet jasmine scent any longer. She smelled amazing without it, but I missed that soft floral aroma filling my nose. “What do you use that smells like jasmine? Lotion? Soap?”

  Mieke melted into me. “Just… Just a little body mist. But sometimes… God, Kaden, why do your lips feel so good?”

  “But sometimes?” I urged, grazing my teeth along the tender flesh under her ear and down to where her neck met her shoulder. I gently bit her and sucked, marking what was mine and mine alone.

  “S-Sometimes I use a lotion that is jasmine mixed with vanilla after I take a long bath,” she moaned, her short nails biting into my arm. “Kaden.”

  “I want you, Mieke. Only you.” I kissed back up her neck, across her jaw. Desperate to finally taste her mouth, I licked her full bottom lip. “I told you last night that I’m yours, and I mean that. Don’t give my past a second thought, I’m begging you. No one—not one damn person—mattered to me until my eyes landed on you.”

  “But—”

  “There are no ‘buts.’ Only me and you. Our now. Our future.”

  She leaned into me, the side of her face pressed to my chest. “You’re right. How can I hold your past against you when I have my own?”

  Every muscle in my body locked, jealousy clenching at my stomach and making my arms crush her against me. “Who touched you?” I gritted out.

  She lifted her head, brows pinching together. “You said the past didn’t matter. Don’t give it a second thought, Kaden.”

  Having her throw my words back in my face gave me whiplash. I grasped her ass in both hands, lifting her the few inches that separated our eyes. “Don’t play with me, Mieke. Tell me who fucking touched you.”

  She tapped me playfully on the nose. “That’s a big hell no, Doc.”

  I backed her into the wall, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. It wasn’t until her bare pussy was pressed flush against my cock, the only thing separating them from each other the thin material of my sleep pants, that I remembered I had her panties in my hand. Fuck, she was already wet, and her heat was making my balls ache to empty inside her sweet haven.

  But I wouldn’t be distracted from getting the answers I needed. “I’m telling you now, sweetheart. You’re going to give me the names of every motherfucker who has ever kissed these lips, touched this pussy, seen what is mine. Or I’ll find them on my own. But I can’t promise it will end well for them if I have to go searching for their names myself.”

  She rolled her eyes at that, and as punishment, I thrust against her core. Her eyes rolled again, but this time, back into her head as the room filled with her needy little moan.

  “I’m waiting,” I murm
ured against her neck, tasting her skin.

  “No one, okay?” she cried. “I was just trying to give you a little taste of what it was like for me when what’s her face called earlier.”

  Some of the red haze brought on by my jealousy began to clear, and I looked down at her. “Baby, the thought of anyone touching you…fuck, just looking at you, drives me crazy. I want all your firsts. I want everything. I’ve told you I’m yours, but you are very much mine in return.”

  “Kaden…” She swallowed hard, shaking her head. “I can’t give you what you want.”

  “All I want is you.” I kissed my way up her neck, my mouth hovering over her parted lips.

  “You can have me,” she vowed. “Every part of me.”

  I started to relax, knowing she was willingly giving herself to me filling me with peace and the kind of happiness I’d never felt in my entire life.

  “Except for my heart.”

  Chapter 5

  Mieke

  As I walked into my dorm room, my phone started blowing up. I didn’t even glance down at the screen. The damn thing had been noisy since I’d turned it back on earlier, but I wasn’t sure if this was Dad trying to call again, or if it was Kaden this time.

  I gave it to him straight earlier.

  He really could have every single part of me. If I were being honest, he already had it. But my heart wasn’t mine to give him, and I wasn’t about to promise it to him. That was for Michelle to decide.

  And right now, I wasn’t ready to ask her if he could have it.

  Things were moving too fast. He went from kind of my stalker, to my hero, to…everything. In just a matter of hours, I was cuddled up in bed with him, and I wasn’t sure it was just because I’d been disoriented from the concussion. Even if I hadn’t headbutted Josh the night before and ended up with the mother of all headaches, I might have ended up in Kaden’s bed, sleeping tucked in against him this morning.

  It felt so good to be held by him.

  Then that bitch Jade called and ruined it all. I’ve never felt so jealous in my life—and never over a guy. Jealous of Ben and Audrey, sure. Jealous of Jaco, that was a given. This was new territory for me.

  But it only showed me that I needed to protect Michelle’s heart that much more. I was given it to keep safe, and I would protect it to my last breath.

  After I told him he couldn’t have my heart, he kind of went quiet on me. All through breakfast, he didn’t talk much, just kept staring at me while I ate the eggs and bacon he’d made for us. I tried to make conversation, but the only replies I got to the questions I asked him were grunts and shrugs. I didn’t know if he was hurt or just pouting, but I wasn’t going to stick around and find out which.

  My head was throbbing, and I needed a real shower, with my own shampoo and conditioner. And panties. I really, really needed some panties since Kaden hadn’t given me my other pair back.

  The call finally went to voice mail, only for the damn thing to start ringing again. Swallowing a scream, I lifted it to see who was bothering me, part of me hoping it was Kaden.

  When I saw the selfie of Ben and me from a few weeks back at the beach, I found myself smiling and swiped my thumb over the screen. The oldest of my cousins was my best friend in the universe, closer to me than even Tara. Growing up, he was more like my brother.

  “Hey, dork,” I greeted as I flopped down on my bed, pulling my favorite pillow to my chest to cuddle. “What’s up?”

  “Just a heads-up. You are today's topic of discussion in the Cassidy house. Zander has been over here since breakfast, and he and Dad are worried about you. I was told to call you to see what I could find out, so this is me doing as I’m told. Z threatened to come up there to check on you if you don’t talk to me.”

  “Are you busy today?” I asked, feeling fresh tears burn my eyes for some reason. I wasn’t normally a crier, but this damn concussion was making me hypersensitive to everything. I probably should have been in bed and not moving around too much, as both the ER doctor the night before and Kaden had advised when he dropped me off earlier. But I couldn’t just sit there and agonize over all the crap trying to rot my brain.

  Ben must have heard something in my voice because I heard his keys jingling. “I had a date, but I’ll text her and tell her I can’t make it. See you soon.”

  “Drive carefully,” I whispered, trying to hide the fact that I was already crying and close to sobbing.

  “Mieke…” He groaned, and I heard the door to his truck slam shut. “Do I need to kill someone?”

  I knew he wasn’t joking. Ben was just as protective of me as Uncle Noah and Dad were. Maybe more. He might have been a year younger than me, but that didn’t matter. My cousin would always have my back, and I would always have his.

  “No,” I assured him, scrubbing a hand over my damp face.

  “Meet me in the lobby of your dorm. I’ll text you once I find a place to park.”

  Thirty minutes later, I was throwing my arms around his wide shoulders. My hair was still wet from the quick shower I’d taken, but I was dressed to go out.

  “Pizza?” he asked as he pulled back. “I’m starving…” His voice trailed off, his eyes flashing furiously when he finally saw the knot on my head and the bruise. “What the fuck happened to you?”

  I touched my forehead gingerly, flinching when I felt the knot. “I’ll explain everything over lunch,” I promised.

  Linking my arm through his, I steered him toward the other side of campus. There was a great pizza place just off the west side of campus that we’d found when he came with me for freshman orientation a few weeks before. I liked it because of the huge salad bar that had some kind of pizza pasta thing that was stuffed with pizza toppings and marinara—minus the cheese. Ben liked it because the largest pizza was just enough to satisfy his crazy hunger if he didn’t have to share one.

  Taller than me by almost half a foot, Ben was huge in the muscle department. To look at him, no one would be able to tell I was the older of the two of us. He looked like he was a senior in college, not in high school. His blond hair and blue eyes made him look like Uncle Noah’s clone at times, and my mom by default. I’d always kind of hated that he and his sister looked so much like my mom, while I looked nothing like any of the people in my family growing up.

  Ben had everything out of me before we even reached the pizza place. He was quiet once I started talking, giving me the chance to explain how I got the knot. I felt him turn to stone when I told him about Josh, but he relaxed a little when I mentioned Kaden saving me and taking me to the ER.

  “So he’s the guy you’ve been telling me about? The one you’ve been seeing all over campus?” he asked as he opened the door to the restaurant.

  “Yes.”

  “I thought he was a creeper, stalking you or some shit.”

  I shook my head. “No. I told you, I liked feeling his eyes on me.” I looked up at him, letting him see everything I was feeling where Kaden was concerned. “I like him a lot, actually.”

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  I didn’t answer because the hostess stepped forward. Ben asked for a booth for the two of us, and she led us through the dining room to the back. The place was starting to get crowded. Most of the tables were already occupied and there weren’t many booths left, but there wasn’t a wait yet. I didn’t glance around to see if there was anyone I knew eating, not wanting to bring more attention to us than I needed to.

  “Where’s Tara?” Ben asked after the waitress went to get our drinks.

  “She was gone when I got back earlier. Left a note saying she was at the library studying.” I played with my menu, already knowing I was just going to get the salad bar again, but Ben was already scanning the toppings.

  “Want to share a basket of onion rings?” he asked without lifting his gaze.

  “Sure.”

  Once our drinks were in front of us and Ben had ordered his extra-large pizza smothered in meat and a few veggies along with t
he onion rings, he sat back and studied me. “This Kaden guy. He saved you, took care of you, and said he wants to be with you. But, what? You don’t want to be with him?”

  “No, I want to be with him,” I told him truthfully. “I’m just…”

  “Scared shitless?” he offered, reading me so damn easily.

  I shrugged.

  “Mieke, Mieke, Mieke,” he said, shaking his head. “You are one of the strongest, bravest women I know. You jumped on a plane and flew across the country all by yourself when you were sixteen. All to see your dad for the first time. That took balls, baby girl. So why is having a relationship with this guy so scary?”

  I blew out a tired sigh. “The relationship part isn’t scary. It’s what goes with it. I don’t want to give him Michelle’s heart and then have him stomp all over it. You think I’m so brave, but the truth is, I’m a scared little girl. I don’t want to be hurt like my mom, Ben. Dad just walked away, and you see how much he loves her. If he could feel that and still just abandon her…” Tears blinded me, and I quickly blinked them away. “No. I won’t let that happen. Michelle’s heart is too valuable to let anyone hurt it.”

  “Is that why you’re mad at Zander all of a sudden? You want to love this guy, but you’re scared, so you are finally pissed at Z?”

  “No, that’s not why.” I picked up my straw and tore the paper off one end. Putting the bare end in my mouth, I blew into it, shooting the paper at him. It hit him in the face, making me giggle.

  But Ben wasn’t going to be distracted. “I’m serious here, Mieke. What is going on with you? Why are you mad at your dad? And don’t lie to me, because I’ll know. He was really upset this morning.”

  My heart clenched. I didn’t want Dad to be upset because of me.

  Lowering my gaze to the table, I told him the truth. “This concussion thing is making me really emotional. Everything is so damn intense, and I can’t stop the jumble of thoughts going through my head. Last night, I kept telling myself I can’t let myself love Kaden because I can’t risk Michelle’s heart. Then I started thinking of how sad Mom always was when I was growing up, how much she needed Dad, and he was never there. Which got me thinking of Jaco and how lucky he is to have had our father there from day one. That made me jealous of my own baby brother, Ben. Which is crazy. But I couldn’t turn it off. It made me realize how jealous of you and Audrey I’ve been because you had a dad who loved you so much.”