Season of Hope

by Lisa Jordan

  “Sorry. I overslept and didn’t hear my phone ring, then a bunch of things happened at once.”

  “Listen, Tor. I didn’t want to get into this over the phone, especially since I don’t have much time left, but my orders changed. I’m returning stateside. I’m coming home.”

  “That’s great. When?”

  “Could be as early as next week.”

  “Wow, I didn’t think the military moved that quickly.”

  “This has been in the works for a while.” Kendra paused. “Thing is, I reenlisted and I’ve picked up staff sergeant. I’ve received my first request for my next duty station.”

  “Congrats! That’s fantastic. Where are you headed?”

  “California.”

  Tori dropped on one of the breakfast bar stools. “California? Wow, that’s quite a distance from Pennsylvania. And isn’t that where...” Her voice trailed off.

  “Yes, it’s where Matthew lives.”

  “Oh, Kendra, please tell me you’re not—” Tori curled her nails into her palm.

  “I don’t want to get into this now.” Kendra used the same placating tone Tori had heard when Annabeth threw a fit.

  Tori schooled her voice. “He walked out on you. And Annabeth.”

  “He’s changed and wants a second chance. We’ve been talking for a while.”

  Tori paced in front of the breakfast bar, throwing a hand in the air. “How can you trust him after the pain he’s caused?”

  “Probably the same way you’re asking Jake to trust you again for a second chance.” Kendra’s words hit so hard that Tori rubbed her chest with her fist. “I gotta go, sis. Hug Annabeth for me. Love you.”

  The line went silent as Kendra’s parting words slid like ice through Tori’s veins. She dropped the phone on the counter and buried her face in her hands.

  Jake rested a hand on her back between her shoulder blades. “Everything okay?”

  She shook her head.

  Jake turned her gently and wrapped her in his arms. “Anything I can do?”

  Her arms slid around his waist. “You’re doing it.”

  His embrace offered her everything she’d always wanted—security and a sense of belonging.

  Jake kissed the top of her head, then tilted her chin for her eyes to meet his. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

  Tori pulled away and moved to the sink, where she rinsed out the milk-soaked dish towels. “My sister is returning stateside. She’s reenlisted and has been promoted to staff sergeant.”

  “Congrats to her. Where’s she headed?”

  “California.”

  “California? What does that mean for you?”

  “I don’t know. Kendra said she might be home as early as next week. Said we’d talk then.”

  “What does that mean for the fund-raiser? The house you’ve worked so hard on?” He paused and cleared his throat. “Us?”

  Tori slapped the last towel in the sink, spraying milk across the counter, and whirled around. “I don’t know.”

  She wanted to scream and stomp her feet and kick something, but she couldn’t do any of those. She dug her fingernails into her palms again and blinked back the wetness blurring her vision. “Annabeth’s father lives in California and is back in the picture. Kendra was devastated when Matthew walked out on them. I moved in to help care for Annabeth while Kendra had duty. When she received orders for overseas, she granted me temporary custody to care for Annabeth. We moved back to Pittsburgh and then ended up here after my dad died.”

  Her chest heaved as her voice rose. She waved a hand around the room. “So now I have a choice to make—leave everything I’ve been working toward here in Shelby Lake and be close to my family or stay here and leave my family behind. No matter what I choose, my heart is going to break. I just can’t believe he has the nerve to contact her again after what he’d done.”

  “Your sister is a grown woman who can make her own choices. I’m sure she’s given this a lot of thought.”

  “What if he hurts her again?” She gripped the edge of the breakfast bar and lifted her eyes to him.

  Jake scrubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I’ve been asking myself that same question.”

  Tori felt the color drain from her face. “You don’t trust me. Even after everything I’ve done to prove to you that I’ve changed, you’re still waiting for me to walk away again, aren’t you?”

  “Tori...” He held up a hand.

  She smacked it away. “I don’t know what else I can do to earn your love, Jake, but I’m done trying. I will finish what I started with the fund-raiser, then I’ll be out of your life for good. No more wondering. I’ll make it easier for you.” She brushed her hands together, then tossed them in the air.

  “Easier? Tori, would you let me—”

  “I have a million things to do today but first I need to check on Annabeth. You can see yourself out. We won’t be making it to church today.”

  Tori hurried out of the kitchen before she made a bigger fool of herself and headed for the living room, where some educational program blared from the TV.

  She wanted nothing more than to head upstairs and turn back time. She needed a do-over because in the hour she’d been awake, her life had fallen apart and she had no idea how to piece it back together.

  * * *

  How had everything fallen apart so quickly?

  Jake had knocked on Tori’s door hoping to talk and ended up losing everything...again.

  In the days since their fight—was it even a fight if he wasn’t given a chance to share his side?—Tori had resorted to clipped texts and brief emails to communicate with him about the fund-raiser.

  But all of her hard work was paying off.

  Holland Hill hadn’t seen this much traffic since the tornado. The cloudless blue sky with the gentle breeze had people wanting to be outside. And what better place than on a farm.

  Smoke billowed from the industrial-sized grills sizzling with chicken and ribs Lena and her husband had set up and manned. People gathered under the oversize tents set up where the old barn had been to eat barbecue, fresh sweet corn, baked beans and apple pie made from Dad’s own apple orchards.

  Red, white and blue balloons tied on fence posts bobbed and weaved in the breeze that swept across the green fields.

  Chatter and laughter blended with the clomping of Westley’s and Buttercup’s hooves as they pulled the hay wagon full of people. Baaing and bleating sounded from the lambs and miniature goats on loan from the Matthews farm in the front pasture petting area.

  The country band that had played at Dad and Claudia’s wedding set up in the new barn, prepping for tonight’s barn dance as the auctioneer’s fast talking and consistent rapping of his gavel proved the community donations were bringing in money for the project. A cornhole tournament had been set up in the side yard between the farmhouse and barns.

  Being an introvert, Jake did what he could to avoid crowds, but today, he had to be front and center taking his turn under the information canopy to share the program’s vision and to answer questions, ensuring visitors were having a good time. All he wanted to do was retreat to the creek and lick his wounds.

  The more he ran their conversation over in his head, the more annoyed he’d become. Tori hadn’t even given him time to explain his remark. If she had, he would have assured her he had moved past that way of thinking. Instead she jumped to conclusions and did everything she could to avoid him today.

  Maybe she had the right idea. Maybe this relationship was more trouble than it was worth. She could leave and he could go back to tending the farm. Let things go back to the way they were.

  But he didn’t want that anymore.

  She was his last thought before his head hit the pillow and his first thought upon waking. He wanted her beside him. As his wife. His partner. He want
ed to start a family with her. He wanted to grow old together and create a legacy that could be passed down to their children.

  But that wasn’t going to happen if he couldn’t talk to her.

  “Hey, brother, looks like your fund-raiser’s a smashing success.” Tucker dropped in the empty chair behind the table and clinked his cup of lemonade against Jake’s iced tea.

  “Thanks to Tori’s hard work.”

  “Seems like you guys made a great team. Where is she anyway? I figured you two would be hanging out together.”

  “She’s busy making sure everything’s running smoothly.”

  Tuck watched the crowds, then faced him. “You know, Jake, I don’t say this often enough, but thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being you. When you see a need, you fill it. Working the farm may not have been your life’s ambition, but you’ve taken over after Dad got hurt to keep it going. After Rayne died, you stepped in to help with the twins. You’re doing right by Leo and Micah by starting this project. I’m proud of you, man.”

  “You growing soft on me, Tuck?”

  He laughed. “Don’t worry—that’s not going to happen. You’ve inspired me to make some changes, too.”

  “Yeah, like what?”

  He drained his lemonade, then set the empty cup on the table. “I’m going back to school to get my degree in grief counseling. Sadly, I’m way too familiar with the topic. If I can help others get through it, then that’s a good thing, right? With Dad and Claudia married, the twins starting kindergarten in the fall, I want to be a hands-on dad. Not a jaded, worn-out wreck who survives on caffeine. I’ve been hiding behind my paramedic uniform since Rayne died because I failed at saving my own wife, so maybe I could save someone else, you know?”

  “Her death was a freaky accident, man. You know that, right?”

  Tuck balanced his elbows on his knees and steepled his fingers. “I do, but a day doesn’t go by without me missing her. And though it’s going to be tough, it’s time for the kids and me to move back to our own place. Our crashing at the farmhouse was supposed to be temporary. Dad and C need their own space without the kids underfoot all the time.”

  “Don’t suppose you’d want to rent out a room?” Even asking that question made Jake’s heart sink deeper in his chest.

  Tuck shot him a puzzled look. “What about you and Tori? I figured you’d be making plans to be with her.”

  “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Somehow I put my foot in my mouth.”

  “What’d you do?”

  Jake shook his head. “I have no idea.”

  “Ask her.”

  “She’s avoiding me.”

  “You two...” Tucker chuckled and shook his head. “And people wonder why I don’t want to date.”

  Jake clapped his brother on the back. “Stay single, man. It’s so much easier.”

  “Says the bachelor moping over a girl.”

  “I’m not moping.”

  “Then go talk to her.”

  “And if she doesn’t want to listen?”

  Tuck rolled his eyes. “Do I have to tell you everything? If there are two things I’ve learned about women, it’s they want to be valued and to be heard. Tell her how you feel. Do whatever it takes to make her listen. If you’re willing to let her go without a fight, then you’re a fool who doesn’t deserve her anyway.”

  Jake downed the rest of his watered-down tea and pushed to his feet. “If this goes wrong...”

  “Way to go, Mr. Positivity.”

  Jake shook his head and strode across the yard to find Tori. Maybe she was in the barn watching the auction.

  He found her standing in a corner of the barn talking to a woman who appeared as out of place on the farm as he did in the city. The woman was dressed in a red blouse, black flowy pants, a long sheer gray jacket and crazy high heels on her feet, and her streaked dark hair had been twisted in some kind of fancy knot on her head.

  As he headed toward them, his gaze caught Tori’s and she gave him a startled deer-in-the-headlights look as she jerked her eyes back to the woman. What were they talking about? She slid a cool smile in place. “Jake.”

  “Hey, Tori. Who’s your friend?”

  “Sophie, this is Jake Holland. His family owns this farm.” She glanced at Jake. “This is Sophie Mays, my former boss.”

  Jake extended his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

  She shook his hand but didn’t release it as her eyes looked him over. “Well, now, aren’t you a tall drink of water.”

  “Welcome to Holland Family Farm. Please let us know if we can help you with anything.”

  “You could convince this young lady to consider my offer.”

  Jake caught the subtle shake of her head Tori had given Sophie. Why? What was going on?

  Tori’s eyes widened as she cleared her throat. “Sophie, I...uh...haven’t had a chance to talk to Jake about anything yet. We’ve been so busy with getting ready for the fund-raiser and all.”

  Sophie tapped her lips with a manicured finger. “So you’re the one Tori’s been talking about. I hope my faux pas doesn’t cause any trouble.”

  “What’s going on?” He touched Tori’s elbow. “Do you have a minute?”

  She shifted slightly so her arm was out of his touch. “Can it wait? Sophie just arrived from Pittsburgh, and I don’t want to be rude.”

  Jake shoved his fingers in the front pockets of his cargo shorts and ground his jaw. “Sure thing. Whatever.” He nodded to Sophie. “Nice meeting you. Thank you for coming to the fund-raiser.”

  “My late husband was former military. Career navy. Twenty years. This is a program I’d love to support in his name. Do you have information I could review?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Jake pulled one of the program brochures out of his back pocket and handed it to her. “This offers information about the program, including the link to our secure website where you can make donations or sign up as a monthly sponsor.”

  Sophie took the brochure and slid the glasses hanging from a beaded chain around her neck onto her nose. “Thank you. I think I will refill my lemonade and look this over. Tori, darling, I’ll catch up with you in a bit. Jake, I’m sure I’ll see you soon.” She breezed out of the barn, leaving behind a trail of expensive perfume.

  Jake leaned a shoulder against the wall. “What was that about?”

  “What was what about?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Come on, Tori. Stop playing games.”

  Several people gathered for the auction glanced in their direction at Jake’s raised voice.

  Tori shot him a desperate look, then slid a smile in place. “Shh, keep your voice down.”

  “I haven’t seen you in a few days. You’re ignoring me, and I want to know why.”

  Tori waved a hand around the barn. “Take a look around, Jake. I’ve been a little busy finishing up details about the fund-raiser. My sister’s flying in tonight. She and Annabeth are flying to California early tomorrow. I’ve been trying to get her ready to go. And I haven’t ignored you. I’ve responded to your texts and emails.”

  “It’s not the same.” He rubbed a thumb over her cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

  Tori caught his hand and moved it away from her face. “Don’t. Please. I can’t do this.”

  “What’s going on, Tori? What was Sophie talking about?”

  “Can we talk about this later?”

  “No, you keep putting me off, and it’s twisting me in knots.”

  Tori bit her bottom lip as she lowered her gaze and picked at the side of her thumb. She lifted her face, and tears shimmered in her eyes. “I’m leaving Shelby Lake, Jake.”

  Those five words punched him in the gut, stealing his breath. He swallowed. Hard. “What do you mean you’re leaving? What are you
talking about?”

  “Kendra called the other day and said she doesn’t want me to go to California with her and Annabeth. She and Matthew are reconciling and want to start fresh as a family. I’ve been crying for three days. Staying here in Shelby Lake...it’s just not going to work. I was fooling myself in thinking I’d be enough for you.” Tori drew in a shuddering breath. “Sophie offered me partnership in her PR company, and I’m going to take it.”

  “You’ve decided all of this and I don’t get a say?”

  “It’s my life, Jake. And as you reminded me weeks ago, I’m not your wife. I don’t belong here, remember? I’m nothing but a distraction to you.”

  “Sure, maybe at first, but things have changed. I’ve changed. You’ve changed.”

  She shook her head. “But I haven’t. I still want the same things. I want to be with someone who loves me. Who values me. Who wants to be distracted by me. I want to be someone’s first priority. And I don’t feel that with you.”

  “You’re not being fair. You’ve made up your mind without even hearing what I have to say. You shut me out. I do love you, Tori, and I want to make this work, but the minute things get tough, you run.” He grabbed her hand. “Stay. Here with me. Let’s work this out.”

  “Leave the farm and come with me.”

  “And do what? My life is on the farm. It’s all I know.”

  “Learn something new.”

  “What about the Fatigues to Farming program? I can’t walk away from that.”

  “But you can walk away from me? Aren’t your dad and brothers a part of it, too?”

  “All of these people here today are supporting us. And the veterans like Leo and Micah—where will their hope come from?”

  “God. Jake, you’re trying to atone for something that was beyond your control. You want to fix something only God can do.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “You go through the motions but the truth is you’re so angry at God for the past six years that it’s clouding your thinking. You shut Him out and try to do things on your own. When was the last time you prayed? Real, authentic, transparent prayers? You keep saying you want to offer hope to these veterans, but what about hope for yourself?”