No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  “No, because I’m twisted enough that it completely turns me on when you go all dominant male on me.”

  “I know,” Noah said, with the slightest hint of a smile.

  “What do you mean, you know?”

  Indy had been tense when Noah and Josh had started arguing. God, would he turn out to be the cause of a break of trust between them? But this was how they worked through issues, apparently. The fact that Josh was still solidly parked on Noah’s lap said enough, didn’t it?

  “When you’re on the edge, all I have to do to make you come is order you to.”

  “Do you have any idea how fucking embarrassing that is? Dammit, Noah, all you have to do is say my full name and I come. Sometimes I hate that you have that effect on me.”

  “I’m aware, which is why I would never abuse it. Two nights ago was the first time I told you to do something without you obeying me right away. I told you to spread your legs and you didn’t.”

  “Is that why you offered me yourself? Because I had earned it?”

  “No, but it did cross my mind to give you that as a reason when you asked.” Noah sighed. “God, you were sexy when you said ‘make me.’ Total turn on.”

  Josh smiled a slow, sensual smile. There must’ve been some nice memories playing through his head. “So why did you offer now?”

  “Because I wanted to. Yes, I reacted to Indy, and I still do. I haven’t been attracted to anyone since we started our thing, but I am to him. Hell, yes, I want to fuck him, and I’m not denying it. He did make me hard, and I was angry, because it felt like a betrayal to you. But I offered you top for two reasons: the first was to give you pleasure, because after that incredible fuck two days ago I wanted more of that for you. But the second reason was because I wanted to. I want to bottom for you, be fucked by you. I want to know what it feels like and share that with you before I’d even consider sharing it with anyone else.”

  Indy’s body, which had cooled off during the argument, heated up quickly when Noah’s words created a picture in his mind that was so wicked dirty and arousing, he had to bite his lip to keep a moan in. Never, ever had a guy turned him on so much with mere words. Then again, never had a guy admitted so honestly that he wanted Indy.

  Apparently, it had a similar effect on Josh, because he didn’t hesitate, but kissed Noah deeply. And with tongue, by the looks of it.

  “Please, Noah, fuck me,” Josh moaned, tearing his mouth away. Ignoring Indy, or maybe forgetting Indy was even there, he put his hand on Noah’s massive erection. “I need your thick cock to fill me, to fuck me hard. I want you so much.”

  Without even touching himself, Indy came.

  10

  Noah caught Indy’s deep tremble from the corner of his eyes, and he had a pretty good idea what had happened. But that was not his biggest concern right now. His problem was denying his own raging erection to keep the promise he’d made Josh.

  “No. You know what I said. I will not fuck you until you ask me to bottom for you.” His cock was cursing him as it was rock hard and dying to get some action. But he would not break his word. He hadn’t fucked Josh since he’d made the promise—they’d only given each other blow jobs—and he wasn’t going to fuck him now.

  Josh looked at him with big eyes, his hand still on Noah’s dick. “You can’t be serious.”

  “You know I never break a promise.”

  Josh squeezed Noah’s cock. The press sent a wave of pleasure through his balls and up the length of his erection. “For fuck’s sake, Noah, you’re as hard as I am. You want this.”

  Noah clamped down hard on his desires. Knowing Josh was willing, that all he had to do was say yes and he’d find release, it was maddening to deny himself that. Yet he had to. For Josh.

  “I do, but that doesn’t change a thing. You know what you have to do.”

  Josh got up from Noah’s lap, almost pushing himself off. “This is totally unfair. Every single time you ask for sex, I always say yes. The one time I ask you and you deny me.”

  Noah’s jaw tightened. “That’s a low blow, and you know it. I said no because you’re asking the wrong question. Ask me, Josh.”

  Josh whipped around. Indy was watching them in fascination. “He’s so hard it’s ridiculous,” Josh complained to Indy. “He’s being a stubborn asshole.”

  “I have a nice view of his…arousal,” Indy said, licking his lips in a way that shot straight to Noah’s cock, “And I agree. However, it seems the solution is straightforward. Ask him to let you top him.”

  “I can’t,” Josh said. Noah couldn’t see his face because Josh's back was turned to him, but the anguish in his voice was palpable.

  “Why not?” Indy’s voice was warm and understanding.

  “You don’t understand. I’m not that guy…It’s not me. And it’s not him. Noah is the alpha, that’s how this works. I want to top him, but I can’t.”

  Noah forced himself to stay quiet.

  “What do you mean?” Indy asked.

  “It’s when he goes all alpha on me that I feel safest, most confident. Shit, every time he calls me Joshua I erupt. But he needs it, too. He loves being dominant, taking charge. That night of the robbery, when he was fucking me more intensely than ever before, he came so hard. It was such a deep satisfaction to know I could give him that pleasure.”

  “You’re afraid you can’t give him that same pleasure when you top.”

  Noah gasped softly. How had he missed this? Josh was always so eager to please him, to do whatever brought Noah satisfaction. Noah did get off on fucking Josh, there was no denying it. Being the one on top, slamming his cock into that tight heat—it was an incredible turn on. He’d never realized how it would feel to Josh emotionally, since Josh loved being fucked. Shit, the guy could come by sheer fucking, without ever touching his dick. How had he missed the depth of Josh's insecurity about his ability to bring Noah satisfaction if the roles were reversed?

  “Yeah,” Josh whispered. “I don’t think it would work. He gets off on being in charge, and even if he didn’t, I don’t have what it takes to be the guy on top. At least, not with him.”

  Noah opened his mouth. This was bullshit. Indy raised a finger, and Noah shut his mouth again, leaned back to watch. Indy sat up slowly, avoiding putting pressure on his ribs, and extended two hands to Josh. He grabbed Indy’s hands, and Indy pulled him down on the floor in front of him. Indy’s touch was loving as he lifted a finger under Josh's chin and made Josh look him straight in the eyes.

  “Noah told me how you faced his dad when he caught you two,” Indy said, his tone kind but firm. “You didn’t back down, even though his dad was furious. And I saw you defending me against the cashier when he made those derogatory remarks. I heard you shouting at Noah that first night. Josh, you have as much of a backbone as Noah does, you just don’t show it as easily. But it’s there. And remember what Noah said? He said it was a big turn on when you defied him in bed. I calculate you’re going at this all wrong. You should allow yourself to be the dominant one every now and then with Noah. He needs it, and he wants it. Don’t ask him for permission to fuck him. He’s given you permission. Take him.”

  Indy’s words shot a jolt of electricity through Noah’s body, straight to his cock. The damn thing had been hard the whole time anyway, and it wasn’t letting up. Fuck, how could he want them both so much at the same time? Was Josh right? Was he transferring his desire for Indy onto Josh because he couldn’t fuck Indy, what with his injuries?

  Then why was he craving Josh and not merely the release? It wasn't the idea of fucking that made him so hard. It was the thought of being impaled by Josh's long cock. He wanted Josh to fuck him, wanted to share this with him. And yet he wanted Indy at the same time. Fuck, he was making this so complicated and messy.

  Josh rose a little and gently embraced Indy. He whispered something in Indy’s ear, but it was too soft for Noah to make out. Josh let go of Indy, and the boy’s expressive face lit up with emotions. Joy, excitement, an
d something that looked a lot like want.

  “I’d love that,” Indy said, kissing Josh on the mouth. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

  What were they talking about? It couldn’t be, could it?

  “I’m fine, and as for Noah… He doesn’t have a choice, now does he?”

  What was going on here? Much to Noah’s astonishment, Josh sat down sideways on the couch, his back leaning against the armrest. He extended a hand to Indy, who kept his upper body straight as he climbed on Josh's lap, facing him.

  “Are you comfortable?” Josh asked, gently pulling Indy’s ass forward until that gorgeous round butt was snug against his crotch. Noah’s breath about stopped. Josh had positioned the two of them in a way that allowed Noah to see everything. It was the sweetest torture.

  Indy didn’t say anything, but raised his mouth to Josh and kissed him. Noah thought it would be a short peck, a quick kiss on the lips, but it wasn’t. They sank into each other, and the soft sucking sounds made Noah’s balls tingle. If this was how they had kissed during the robbery, no wonder Josh had gotten hard.

  Indy lifted a hand, caressed Josh's hair, then pulled his head even closer. Noah fought for control as he watched his lover kiss the guy he wanted with such erotic passion.

  Finally, Josh lifted his head. “You really are a great kisser,” he told Indy in a dreamy voice.

  Indy laughed, the happy sound reverberating deep in Noah’s balls. “So are you.”

  Noah wanted him. Them. Both. Fuck, enough with this crap. If Josh didn’t get his act together soon, Noah would make him. He was about to explode and couldn’t take much more.

  “Josh…” he said, his voice menacing.

  Josh glanced sideways with a look that made Noah swallow. Holy fuck, Josh had found his balls, and they were impressive. “Shut the fuck up, Noah. You didn’t want to fuck me, so now you get to watch.”

  Watch? Josh wouldn’t…would he? He wouldn’t make him watch, for fuck’s sake.

  “Is it okay if I take your pants off?”

  Indy nodded, and Noah clenched his fists. Josh rolled Indy off his lap and back on the couch on his back, supporting him with several pillows until he was raised and comfortable. Josh’s hands were steady as he dragged the capris off Indy’s slim legs. Indy was wearing red boxers that were stained in the front with wetness, and Noah breathed in deeply.

  “You smell different from me or Noah,” Josh said almost reverently. He kneeled between Indy’s legs on the couch, as if worshiping Indy’s body. He trailed a finger up Indy’s left leg, stopping at the edge of his boxers, then went down the other leg. Indy didn’t even seem to notice Noah, as his eyes never left Josh's face.

  Indy spread his legs farther, allowing Noah to see how soaking wet his boxers were. Fuck, the guy must have unloaded months’ worth of cum.

  “You can touch,” Indy whispered. “But maybe you could lose some clothes as well?”

  Noah clamped his hands down on the armrests, fighting to stay seated. All he wanted was to jump up and position himself between them.

  Josh got up from the couch, whipped his shirt over his shoulders, then dropped his shorts, leaving him in his usual black boxers that fit so snugly around his toned ass. He turned to face Noah for a second, and Josh's bulging erection was hard to miss. Without thinking, Noah grabbed his own cock, squeezing it.

  Josh's eyes flared. “Enjoying the show from there?” he said, his voice rough.

  Noah wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but that was exactly what Josh was aiming for. Josh's goal was for him to suffer and fucking hell, he was doing a great job of tormenting him. Time to level the playing field. Noah pulled his shirt over his head, then raised his hips and dragged down his underwear that was stained with his precum. He’d been leaking like crazy since those two had started making out.

  Indy inhaled sharply, his eyes on Noah’s cock, which sprang free. Noah leaned back again in his chair and fisted himself a couple of times, dragging his look from Indy to Josh and back. Both guys had their eyes glued to Noah’s dick. Josh visibly swallowed.

  Noah smiled. “Enjoying the show?” he shot back.

  Josh's eyes narrowed, and he straightened himself, tearing his eyes away from Noah. He turned, faced Indy again.

  “Want me to take those off for you?” he asked, pointing at Indy’s boxers and making Indy smile.

  “Yes, please. My top, too.”

  Josh unbuttoned the blouse Indy was wearing. It was the same one he’d worn during the robbery, and it was still crumpled and stained.

  Noah’s fist stopped stroking himself as Josh revealed Indy’s cock. Like everything else on Indy’s body, it was slender and boyish, though he was undeniably hard again. He had little body hair, which Noah had already noticed when he’d examined him in the hospital.

  Indy groaned when Josh pulled the boxers down all the way, then kneeled between Indy’s legs again. Noah’s heart about stopped when Josh looked at Indy one last time and after receiving a trembling nod, dropped little kisses on Indy’s legs, all the way from his calves to his upper thighs. He was such a tender lover. Josh held back so much when he was with Noah, not wanting to go too far, be too gay, but now with Indy, he revealed that soft side.

  Indy moaned. “You’re a tease,” he said between clenched teeth.

  Josh smiled. “I’m nothing if not thorough.” He yanked off his own boxers and lowered himself on Indy, seeking his mouth again.

  The sucking noises were killing Noah, and he gripped his cock hard. What the fuck were these two doing to him? He didn’t know whether to be angry at Josh's payback, or impressed. But he would give anything, everything, to be between them right now and fuck either one of them.

  Not that Indy was ready for that, not even close. In that sense, Josh's approach was so much better for Indy than Noah’s could’ve ever been. Sweet, non-threatening Josh was exactly what Indy needed, not Noah’s bossy MO.

  What was happening was about more than payback from Josh. Something was taking place that he couldn’t interrupt. Josh and Indy, they didn't need him to be involved right now. They need each other, and they needed him to watch and be okay with it. Noah let out a deep trembling breath and made his peace with being on the sidelines. For now.

  * * *

  Indy’s sensations were on overload. Josh seemed determined to drive him absolutely fucking crazy with want. He was now rubbing his cock against Indy’s, gyrating against his crotch. Meanwhile, his mouth was still devouring Indy’s, until he finally pulled back. Josh's eyes were as glazed as Indy suspected his own to be.

  “I could kiss you for hours,” Indy whispered.

  “Same here. Fuck, your mouth is addictive. You’re so sweet and tender. I love kissing you,” Josh replied, brushing a curl from Indy’s face.

  Josh slid down, trailing his hands over Indy’s smooth chest, and found his nipple that tightened immediately. Josh followed his fingers with his mouth and tongue, kissing and licking Indy’s pecs and nipples.

  Indy responded with a continuous stream of soft moans and groans.

  “You like that, huh?” Josh teased, sucking on Indy’s nipple again. It sent lightning bolts to his cock.

  “Hell, yeah.”

  Josh lowered his mouth even farther, following the dusting of blond hairs down to Indy’s cock, licking and sucking and kissing every inch of skin he encountered. He slid down the couch, letting his knees lower to the floor.

  “Your cock is beautiful,” Josh said, lifting Indy’s dick and studying it from every side.

  “It’s too small,” Indy said gruffly.

  “It’s perfect.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s too small to bring a guy pleasure.”

  Josh's head shot up. “Whoever told you that didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. Size isn’t important.”

  Indy bit his lip. He should’ve kept his big mouth shut. Josh had just been nice to him, and he had to go and ruin it with his pity party.

  Josh sat up on his knees, sou
ght Noah’s eyes. “Noah, stand up for a sec, would you?” Josh asked.

  Noah obeyed without protest, turning slightly. His big, fat cock was rock hard, jutting forward. How was Indy’s not a fucking crayon compared to that? That dick was a thing of beauty while his was…disappointing.

  “Noah is smaller than me, do you see that? My cock is about two inches longer. But it doesn’t matter, since he’s not only thicker, but he has that perfect curve. When he fucks me, that curve helps him hit my prostate every single time, and he can make me come without me ever touching myself. Well, that, and I love being fucked. Now look at your cock, do you see you have that same curve?”

  Indy nodded, studying the three bare cocks in the room, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip. Josh had a point about the curve, but surely that couldn’t be all you needed to satisfy a guy, right?

  “Have you ever topped? Fucked another guy?” Josh asked.

  Indy shook his head. As if. It hadn’t even been an option, not with Duncan. He did the fucking, and that was it. “No. He said my dick was too small, that I couldn’t satisfy him with this…crayon.”

  A wave of sadness washed over him. He’d ruined it all now. If Josh still wanted him after this, it would be out of pity, right? He lifted his eyes but didn’t encounter the pity he’d expected. Instead, Josh's eyes were blazing. He was…mad?

  “Fuck that asshole,” Josh spit out. “Seriously, fuck him. He didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about.” Josh's anger dissipated when Indy barely responded. “You don’t believe me, do you? Do you honestly believe you can’t bring someone pleasure?”

  “I don’t know. He fucked hundreds of people, guys and girls both, so I figured he knew what he was talking about.”

  “He didn’t,” Josh assured him. “He must have been insecure as fuck and a major asshole.”

  “The latter we can agree on,” Indy said. Asshole was too mild a word for Duncan Fitzpatrick.

  “Listen, Indy, I know you’re not ready for this, but when you are, I’ll prove it to you.”