No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  Mark noted something down again, smiling. “We’ll definitely explore that more, then. Anything else you want to add, Josh?”

  Josh swallowed. Fuck, this got so personal. “Two things. One is that I have PTSD, and violence is a trigger.”

  Mark nodded. “I’m aware. Connor gave me the necessary info. We’ll make sure to stay away from anything that could trigger you. I work with multiple veterans with PTSD, and they’ve all seen improvement in their symptoms. The release and relaxation you find through your sub experience with Connor will help you find more balance elsewhere as well.”

  Josh's heart flooded with love all over again. He should’ve known Connor would think of it, would know his needs. He always did. “Thank you, baby,” he said, leaning in for a quick kiss.

  “What was the other thing?” Mark asked. “You said you had two things.”

  “Right. Well, it’s three, actually. I’ve discovered I like it when Connor uses me to get off. Like, when he fucks my mouth or my ass and forbids me to come. It gives me a rush to make him come, I guess.”

  Mark nodded. “That makes sense, considering your profile. You’re a sub with a deep need to please and pleasure, Josh. It’s important Connor learns to utilize that without feeling selfish. And the last thing?”

  Despite Mark’s friendly and casual attitude, Josh wasn’t sure about the last topic. Connor had shown more openness than he’d ever had before, but would he be okay with this? On the other hand, Mark would notice anyway as soon as they’d undress.

  “Connor here is…erm, well endowed.” He shot a quick look sideways, but Connor’s face was stuck in neutral. “Oh, fuck it. Look, his cock is huge, and I love it. I can take him, and it feels incredible, but it means prep is crucial. Whatever we do, we need to factor that in.”

  Mark’s eyes shifted to Connor. “You didn’t mark that on your online application. Any reason?”

  Connor’s jaw ticked. “It’s not something I like to talk about.”

  “You don’t like to talk about it, or you don’t like that your cock is big?”

  Josh almost held his breath. Mark was getting awfully personal. “It’s been nothing but a nuisance, so no, I don’t like it.” Connor’s voice was gruff, but he was talking, which Josh considered a major victory.

  “I love it,” he piped up.

  “You don’t see it as a problem?” Mark asked. “You can be honest.”

  “Hell, no. As Connor said, I love it when he takes me hard and deep, and with his cock, well, it’s always hard. The only downside is the time we need to take to loosen me up, but no, I don’t see it as a problem at all.”

  “If I hear you correctly, you’re seeing it as a good thing since you love the mix of pain and pleasure it brings you,” Mark said.

  Josh nodded. “Damn right.”

  “This isn’t sex therapy, Connor, but I want you to think about what Josh said. Maybe your size has resulted in some negative experiences before, but Josh loves your anatomy. It brings him exactly what he needs, so maybe you can learn to see yourself in a new way.”

  Mark looked at his notes. “You’re both physically healthy, correct? No physical injuries or limitations we should take into account? How’s your sexual stamina?”

  Josh let out a giggle, his mind wandering back to the night of their bet. “Connor has exceptional stamina,” he reported.

  Mark raised an eyebrow. “Wanna expand on that? This could be interesting to play with.”

  Josh didn’t dare look at Connor. “I made him come five times a few days ago. The first three times were easy, but after that, I had to work for it.”

  Mark whistled between his teeth. “That’s impressive. Definitely something to work with. Okay, we need to talk a little more about you, Connor. How do you see your role as a Dom with Josh?”

  Connor cleared his throat. “My goal is to bring pleasure and release to Josh. I like bossing him around, and I get a kick out of using him sexually or disciplining him, because he loves that. But I won’t do anything that could be harmful to him, physically or emotionally. So for me, the whole humiliating thing is a big no as well, and so are all the extremes.”

  “Sounds like you guys have figured out what you want from this. Connor, you filled out the extensive list of things you don’t want to do here. Did you talk about these with Josh?”

  “No. I didn’t tell him we were going here until we were in the car.”

  “Okay. In that case, Josh, I need you to approve what Connor filled out for your limits, okay?”

  Josh shrugged. “I don’t need to. I trust him.”

  Mark smiled. “I’m glad you do, but consent is the foundation of BDSM in any shape or form, and consent can never be implicit. I’ll give you guys a few minutes to read the list and sign it both, okay? When you’re done, strip and go through that door. We’ll start with a low-key session where we experiment with some discipline. Sounds good?”

  They both nodded.

  “One last thing. I’ll also need you to come up with a safe word, Josh. This is something you can use in a scene when you want to stop, or when you’re close to your limits. You can use green, yellow, and red to indicate being fine, getting close to your limits, and stop immediately. If you want to use different words, that’s fine, but make sure they’re not something you’re likely to use in everyday life.”

  Mark disappeared after handing Josh a set of stapled papers. It was a long list of all kinds of elements and sexual tools, Josh guessed, you could choose or choose not to do with Master Mark. Spanking, paddling, handcuffs, being gagged, cock rings, what the fuck was a humbler? And more importantly, how the hell was he supposed to choose when he didn’t know anything about this?

  Safe words. Limits. He had no limits when it came to Connor, only a blind trust Connor would take care of him. Maybe that was too naive when they started considering things like being gagged and cock rings.

  “I figured we’d start conservatively, go from there,” Connor said, his voice sounding as insecure as Josh felt inside. Somehow, that made Josh feel less of a wimp.

  He read through the list, saw which ones Connor had ticked off as ‘yes.’ Being blindfolded, that sounded like it could be fun. Spanking and paddling were a definitive yes. Handcuffs were fine, as were silk ropes. Cock rings and other restrictive devices…Well, he figured Mark knew his shit and wouldn’t do anything that caused permanent damage, so why the hell not?

  He noticed Connor had crossed out penis-enlarging devices. Yeah, good choice. The Beast would suffice. Reading through it all, he didn’t disagree with Connor on anything. He grabbed the pen, signed at the bottom and handed the paper to Connor, who studied him with a guarded expression.

  “What?” Josh asked.

  “I should’ve asked you if you wanted to do this, instead of deciding for you. It’s hard sometimes to distinguish between dominating you in the bedroom and in everyday life. I’m sorry I crossed that line.”

  Josh didn’t think, just did what came naturally and climbed on Connor’s lap. “We’re good, baby. Did you see I agreed with every single thing you checked on that list? I trust you because you know me well. I’ll let you know if you ever go too far, okay? You know I’m no pushover.”

  He leaned in and brought their mouths together. Connor’s mouth was hot and impatient, wanting more. When Josh pulled back, Connor’s hand came around him, dragging him close again.

  “Connor, we have to…” Josh managed before Connor plundered his mouth again.

  Josh gave up and dove in deep. When Connor scooted forward, he wrapped his legs around his waist, locking his arms tight around his neck. Connor stood up, two strong hands holding Josh's ass, pressing him close.

  “I need you,” Connor growled.

  “But Mark is…”

  “I don’t fucking care. All this sex talk has me horny as fuck. I’m about to explode, and I want to do that in your ass.”

  Connor put him down on the coffee table where Josh unwrapped his legs, somewhat dazed.
Connor yanked off his shoes and within seconds, had dragged Josh's jeans and boxers down. Without a word, he produced a package of lube from his back pocket, almost threw it on Josh, who was still wearing his shirt. Connor’s belt came off. Next, he popped his fly and reached for his cock, kneeling in front of Josh.

  Josh didn’t even think but scooted down toward Connor, pulling up his legs and opening wide. Fuck, yes, this was what he needed. Connor lubed up his cock, then his fingers. Josh pushed down at the first contact, allowing Connor entrance. This truly was the one downside to Connor’s size, their inability to do a quick fuck.

  He moaned loudly when Connor added a second finger and hit him deep, grazing his sweet spot. His hips moved, rocking back against Connor’s fingers. “Don’t you dare come, you hear me? You’re not coming until my cock is all the way in,” Connor ordered.

  Three fingers. How the hell had he gotten so horny so quick? All he could think of was that cock inside of him. Mark had to be wondering where they were, would probably come to check on them at some point, and yet Josh didn’t care. He needed Connor too much. All this because of his shitty excuse for a brother. Josh did a quick mental check. Fuck, he hadn’t come in two days. No wonder he was so fucking on edge. And Connor, too.

  Connor loosened him up with little finesse, but Josh couldn’t care less. He was as impatient as Connor, wanted to get the fuck on with it. Finally Connor lined up his cock against Josh's hole, pressing gently as if asking permission to enter. As always, Josh cringed a little when the head pushed in.

  Connor’s hands circled his waist to drag him even lower. Josh didn’t need to be told to hold on to the edges of the table. He pushed down, inviting Connor in. Inch by inch Connor slid home until his entire dick created that indescribable sense of fullness. It felt different, without a condom. Nothing between them anymore. God, he loved it. Josh let out a long sigh that mingled with a low grunt from Connor.

  “I see you guys have gotten a head-start on things,” an amused voice commented. They both froze. “No worries, you’re not the first couple that gets their game on in here. I always consider it a good sign, means you’re excited for things to come. But let’s move it into the chamber, shall we?”

  15

  Connor was oh, so tempted to tell Mark to fuck off so he could finish. His cock still throbbing, buried to the hilt inside Josh, it was not only embarrassing to have to pull out but pretty damn impossible. They were both so close. One more minute and he could’ve made them both come. Damn.

  He looked at Josh, whose face was still frozen in shock. Then his eyes twinkled, and before Connor knew it, they were both grinning like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

  Connor pulled Josh close and pushed his legs down so he’d clamp them around Connor’s waist—which he did. He leaned back on his heels, found his balance and pushed himself up. It was a credit to the strength of his legs and his core that he managed to stand up while holding Josh, never pulling out. He’d listen to Mark but on his own fucking terms. He wanted to stay inside Josh just a little bit longer.

  Josh held on tight, dropping kisses on Connor’s neck and shoulder. “You know it makes me all weak inside when you carry me, right?”

  Yup, he made the right choice. He followed Mark, who was sporting a toned, tattooed body in tight leather pants, into what the man had dubbed the Chamber—and almost dropped Josh when he saw the impressive range of tools the guy had amassed there. Holy fuck, it was like a sexual-dungeon dream come true.

  Sturdy black metal rings in various sizes were screwed into the wall on one side while the other side was decorated—if you could call it that—with various benches that looked like mini-prisons. One cabinet held an assortment of paddles, crops, and whips, another every dildo, vibrator, and sex toy you could imagine, including at least two dozen Connor had no idea how to use. There was another glass-door cabinet with serious torture devices, from the looks of it intended to put on your cock and balls. He swallowed.

  “Connor, why don’t you put Josh down here.”

  Mark pointed toward a bench that would have Josh kneel on a soft, padded ledge, with his stomach on another padded part, at the perfect height to be fucked, legs spread wide and ass sticking backwards. Despite the alluring picture it put in Connor’s mind, it was hard to obey, Connor discovered. Had to be the Dom inside him. Every instinct he had told him to ignore the man, to keep on fucking Josh until they both came.

  Josh whimpered as Connor pulled out. Connor put him down gently, holding on to him till he knew for certain Josh had regrouped.

  “Connor, I will only talk to you this session, okay? You’ll have to tell Josh what to do. You are his Dom, not me.”

  Connor nodded as a strange sense of destiny settled over him. He wanted this to work, wanted to get good at this, for Josh.

  “What does Josh have to call you when you’re sexually engaged?”

  “He has to reply with 'Yes, Connor.'”

  Damn, even the thought of Josh submitting had his cock twitching. It was hard to focus on Mark when his eyes kept trailing to Josh, wanting to be buried in him all over again. He should’ve jacked off before they came here. He hadn’t been thinking, had figured he needed to be horny when in reality, it was impossible to think when his balls were itching to unload.

  “Make sure to discipline him every single time he forgets. And, more importantly, he has to earn the right to come. He can't orgasm without your permission, so if he does, discipline him. That’s also a great way of seducing him to break the rules. Tell him not to come and then keep doing what you know will make him come. He’ll hate and love you at the same time.”

  Connor resigned himself to confessing the embarrassing truth to Mark. There was no way he could do this, not in the state he was in.

  “I need to come first. I’m sorry, I should’ve jerked off before we came. I’m too on edge right now, can’t think.” If Connor had been anything like Josh, he would have been beet red at this confession. But Mark wasn’t irritated or even surprised in the least.

  “Don’t tell me, tell Josh.”

  Josh stood still, eyes fixed on Connor as if he was waiting for orders. He was, Connor realized. He breathed in. Despite Mark’s presence, which took some getting used to, they were still Connor and Josh. If he played it right, Josh would come too, and would thus earn punishment. He would have to do it fast so Josh could take a second round. He didn’t want to have to prep Josh again, though. Maybe Mark had…?

  “Do you have a butt plug, one that approximates my cock size?”

  Mark smiled. “I sure do. Good choice.” He walked over to a cabinet, pulled something out. “This should do the trick.”

  Connor took the black silicone plug that was thick with a pronounced flared end to prevent it from being sucked in. He held it next to his cock, saw it was shorter but even thicker than the Beast and shot Josh a kinky smile. “Think it’s about the right size?”

  Josh's eyes grew big. “Holy crap, I can’t take that in.”

  “Strike one,” Connor said, not able to keep the satisfaction out of his voice.

  “But Connor,” Josh stuttered.

  “Strike two.”

  Josh visibly swallowed. “Yes, Connor.”

  Damn, those words reached deep in him. He let out a satisfied sigh. “On your knees on the bench and spread wide.”

  It took two seconds before Josh complied. “Yes, Connor.”

  He kneeled clumsily but spread wide open. Mark handed Connor a big bottle of lube, and Connor lubed up the plug liberally, then put it aside for now. Connor noticed the bench had rings to tie someone down, but he didn’t think that would be necessary now.

  Connor didn’t think about it but took a solid stance behind the bench and plunged his cock inside Josh's ass as soon as Josh had found a good hold on the bench. Fuck, yes, this felt good. Josh yelped, probably as much in surprise as in discomfort. Connor sunk in all the way, bent over to bring his mouth close to Josh's ear. “You heard the man: you c
annot come until I say so. And I say no. Do not come, Joshua, you hear me?”

  “Yes, Connor.”

  He pulled out, ignoring Josh's whimper as he did. “Fuck, you’re beautiful like this, all spread out for me.” He kneaded Josh's ass with his right hand, slapped it playfully. “Your ass, baby, it never fails to entice me.”

  Josh's hole twitched, winking at him, and Connor let out an appreciative groan. He lined up again, pushed back in, making sure to hit Josh's prostate. Josh's moan confirmed he’d aimed correctly. He gave five, six thrusts, only pulling out a bit before slamming back in, nailing the perfect spot every time. His body hummed in pleasure. No, he wouldn’t last long, but that was okay.

  Josh let out a muffled curse, and Connor smiled. “You okay, baby?” he teased.

  There was a muttered expletive before Josh obeyed. “Yes, Connor.”

  He leaned back without pulling out, teasing Josh's sensitive crack with his index finger. “You know what I was thinking, baby?” He stroked both ass cheeks with a feather light touch, reveling in the goose bumps that appeared. “I’m gonna fill you with my cum and then plug you. That way, you stay nice and wide with all of my juices inside you. And then when I want to fuck you again, I can yank the plug out and fuck you senseless. What do you think?”

  Josh shivered. “Yes, Connor.”

  By his calculations, Josh had to be as close as he was. There was no way he was not coming now, which was exactly the plan. Connor pulled out almost entirely, then slid in deep. Fuck, he was almost there. One, two, three more thrusts and with a low growl, he unloaded what felt like a mother load of cum in Josh's ass. As he did, Josh's ass contracted around Connor’s dick, his muscles spasming with Josh's own release.

  Connor shook his head to clear it. Man, that had felt good—though he was nowhere near finished yet. He pulled out, slid in the butt plug without hesitation, closing Josh's hole completely. His cock was still half-hard, ready for more.

  “Did you come by any chance, Josh?” he asked casually.