by E. L. Todd
“Of course,” he said. “Not a big deal.”
“Thanks.”
“But I am going to play it while you’re gone,” he said with a grin.
“Hey, that’s not fair.”
“You thought I was going to sit there and resist the temptation?” he asked incredulously. “Do you know me at all?”
I rolled my eyes then approached the door to my apartment. “I’ll come by later.”
“Okay.” He leaned in and gave me a long kiss.
I didn’t like to share affection in public but the hall was deserted. There was no harm done. I pulled away. “I’ll see you then.”
He rubbed his nose against mine then walked away.
I watched him go, noting his ass in his slacks. Then I walked inside.
***
I spotted my dad while he lifted the bar and did his set. “I’m here, old man.”
He laughed after he did one rep. “Old? When I order a drink, they still ask for my ID.”
“They probably just want to see if you’re really Sean Preston.”
He laughed then finished the set. When he reached ten he locked his arms then returned the bar to the rack. Sweat was on his forehead. “Your turn, son.”
I switched places with him then did the set. He and I were about the same size so we could handle the same weight. Dad was in good shape but he wasn’t as big as Mike. He concentrated more on running and lighter weights. Dad was ripped but Mike just looked like a beast.
I finished the set then put the bar down. Then I caught my breath.
“Good job.”
I sat up then drank from my water bottle.
Dad eyed me for a long time.
I noticed he was staring at me. “What?”
“Nothing.” He averted his gaze and looked across the gym.
“Why were you staring at me?” I asked.
He turned his eyes back on me. “I’m sorry I haven’t spent more time with you lately. I see Skye every day but I haven’t made much of an effort with you.”
“It’s okay, Dad. I’ve been with Heath—I mean, I’ve been busy.”
He nodded. “Mike and Trinity are going through a hard time and when I think about losing you or Skye…it scares me a little bit.”
“Lose me?” I asked. “Don’t interfere with my personal life and you’re good.”
He smiled but it was forced. “I would hate to be my brother right now. He’s lower than I’ve ever seen him.”
“You’ve always been close with Skye, and there’s nothing you could do to scare me off.”
“Really?” he asked.
“Yeah, you’re my dad.”
He smiled then gripped my shoulder. “Thanks, son.”
I just hoped he felt the same way about me. If I told him who I really was, would he turn his back on me? Moments like this made me hope.
A girl in spandex shorts and a sports bra approached us. Her tits were huge and her stomach was toned and tight. She had long legs that were toned and tan. And her hair was styled like she hadn’t come to work out at all. She touched my dad on the bicep. “Keeping them in good shape, I see.” She flashed him a smile.
Dad was weird when he was hit on. He became extremely uncomfortable, almost rude. He didn’t even flirt with them. Most men I knew, single or not, liked the attention. He absolutely despised it. “My wife says the same thing.” He stared at her coldly, not enticed by the tiny outfit she wore.
I looked at her but she didn’t do anything for me.
Yeah, I was definitely gay. The only people I noticed in the gym were the guys lifting heavy weights. When they sweated and grunted, it caught my attention.
“My mistake.” She gently stepped away. “Is this your brother?”
“Son,” Dad said.
“Oh wow,” she said. “You must have had him when you were really young.”
“Dad, let’s go.” I stood up. “I’m starving.”
He gave me a suspicious look but didn’t say anything. We grabbed our bags from the locker room then walked to the taco shop next door.
“You weren’t into her?” he asked in surprise.
Oh shit. How would I explain that? “I’m not into women who hit on my dad. That’s just gross.”
He chuckled. “Gotcha.”
We ordered our food then sat down in a booth.
“What’s new with you?” he asked.
“Just work and stuff.”
“What’s and stuff’?”
“I hang out with the gang and Heath.” I tried to slip Heath’s name in there casually and act like I wasn’t sleeping with him every night. I was hardly at my own apartment anymore.
“You and Heath have become close, huh?”
Was I making it obvious? “We’re just friends…”
He laughed. “I know. I just wonder how Conrad feels about it.”
“He’s pretty busy with work and the studio. The times I do see him he’s pretty down. He’s actually been brushing me off for a while. I think he just wants to be alone.”
“That’s pretty common when someone goes through a break up.”
“But they’ve been broken up for a long time. I wish he would just get over it.”
He gave me a disapproving look. “That’s harsh.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant because I hate seeing him sad. And I really don’t like Beatrice anymore.”
He shrugged. “I try to stay out of the love lives of the young people.”
“Except Skye’s,” I jabbed.
“Guilty,” he said after he chewed his food. “But I’m glad I did. It worked out in the end.”
“Is it a soap opera with Mr. Dreamy over there?”
“Mr. Dreamy?” he asked with a cocked eyebrow.
Fuck, I was acting so gay right now. “You know, Ward. That’s what we call him. It’s a joke.”
“Oh.” He nodded his head. “Cayson is a little jealous but he’ll get over it. Fortunately, Skye’s office is on the other side of the floor so I don’t have to deal with the drama.”
“You just stay in your office and practice your swing?”
He winked. “Exactly.”
“How’s Skye doing at work?”
“She’s a natural,” he said. “It’s exactly what I expected. I’ll be out of there in no time.”
“What will you do? You’re so young.”
“Earlier you called me an old man,” he noted.
“Well, you’re my old man.”
“I see,” he said. “Well, your mother and I will do some traveling.”
“But that’ll take, like, a year. Why don’t you just take a vacation and do that?”
He considered the suggestion. I’ve never particularly enjoyed working. I’d rather be at home with your mom all day.”
“You don’t get bored?” I asked seriously.
“When you fall in love, you’ll see what I mean.”
I immediately thought of Heath and understood. I spent all my time with him and never grew bored.
“Speaking of falling in love, are you seeing anyone?”
“Uh…” This would be the perfect time to tell him. We were alone in a public place. He couldn’t scream at me or murder me. And he brought it up. But it was too terrifying. I was starting to sweat just from thinking about it. “Not seriously.”
“Just a few girls here and there?” he asked.
“Yeah…it’s casual.”
He nodded. “You’re young so you have plenty of time to fool around.”
Heath and I weren’t fooling around.
“I did nothing but casual until I was much older than you are now.”
“That’s good to know,” I said.
“And when you find the right one, you’ll want to settle down.”
The idea of having an apartment with Heath in the city excited me. We could celebrate the holidays together and eventually adopt a few kids. We could have our own family. But I could never tell Dad what I was thinking.
I wondered how he felt about homosexuality. Did he despise it? Was he cool with it? Did he not care at all? Knowing how he felt would give me better direction in how to confess my secret. “I just found out some guy I went to high school with is gay…”
He sipped his soda. “Oh. Do I know him?”
“No…but I found out on social media.” I totally made that up. But I couldn’t directly ask him without making it obvious.
“Interesting.” He continued to eat.
That was all he was giving me? “Yeah…he’s got a long road ahead of him.”
“Why?” Dad asked.
“Uh…because a lot of people aren’t that accepting of it.”
“Did he move to the mid-west?”
“No…he lives in New York.”
“I’m sure he’s fine,” Dad said.
Okay, I wasn’t getting anything out of him. “So…are you cool with that?”
“Cool with what?” he asked after he wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“You know…gay people.”
“Yeah,” he said. “But I’ve never been close to a gay person. I can’t say I’m very educated on the topic.”
Well, that wasn’t the worst answer in the world. “So, you think gay people should be able to get married?”
He gave me an amused look. “Why are you so interested in gay culture all of a sudden?”
Quick. Think. How do I get out of this? He was getting suspicious. “I have an article for the magazine and it’s a little controversial. We aren’t sure if we should release it.”
“Well, homosexuality has been in the media for a long time. I don’t see how it can be any more controversial.”
“So you think it’s controversial?” I leaned forward.
“No,” he said. “I just think people against homosexuality will always be against it, and those who accept it will always accept it. It’s an argument that will exist as long as humankind is around.”
I went back to the initial question. “So…you think gay people should get married?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t affect me so I don’t see why it matters. People have the right to do what makes them happy. If society told me I couldn’t marry your mother, I would do it anyway and give them the bird.”
So, it seemed like he was accepting and indifferent toward homosexuality. That was much better than him being totally against it. There was hope that I could tell him the truth. But he might have a very different reaction if I was the one who liked men.
“Are you going to publish the article?”
“Huh? What article?”
He eyed me suspiciously. “The one about homosexuality.”
“Oh…yeah. I think so.”
“You should.” He finished his food then left his trash on his tray. “What are your plans for tonight?”
Spend it with Heath then have awesome sex before bed. “Not sure. Just hanging out.”
“Just because you don’t live at the house anymore doesn’t mean you can’t come by. Your mother and I miss you very much.”
Could he really turn his back on me when he’d been nothing but a loving father? It seemed unlikely. “I miss you too.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “What did you just say?”
“Sorry?” What happened? What did I do?
“You miss us?” He grinned from ear to ear. “I’ve never heard you say that in my life. Last time I checked, we were just your annoying parents.”
“I guess being on my own has given me a different perspective…” And the fact they might turn their backs on me once they knew I was gay. Now I appreciated my time with them, knowing it might disappear.
“I’m glad you’ve matured. Perhaps being in the work force and spending time with Heath has aged you.”
“Heath? What does he have to do with anything?” I tried not to seem panicked.
“He’s older than you and strikes me as the strong and silent type. He’s a good influence on you. I’m glad you’re branching out and hanging out with other people besides the gang.”
“Oh…yeah, I guess.”
He stood up and threw his trash away. “Come by the house. Your mother misses you like crazy.”
“Okay, I’ll come to dinner tomorrow.”
“Great.” His eyes shined in excitement. “Bring Heath if he isn’t doing anything.”
Heath? Like, us together? Did that mean he wouldn’t care if we were romantically involved? A part of me wants to blurt it out and just get it over with. But another part of me was terrified. “I’m sure he’d like to tag along.”
Dad hugged me for a moment. “I’m so proud of you, Roland.”
I took a deep breath and felt the warmth spread through me.
“You’re the man I always hoped you would be.” He patted the back of my neck. “Keep it up.”
***
“My dad invited us over to the house for dinner,” I said as I walked inside.
He put down the video game controller and looked at me. Fondness shined in his eyes, and he looked at me like he was seeing me for the firs time. He stood up then came to me, his desire evident. We were both over six-feet and we had the same build. Heath was lean with muscle, and I was a little bigger in the arms. His broad shoulders and wide chest always got me thinking things that weren’t appropriate. His hand moved to the back of my neck, the place where he usually grabbed me. “It means a lot to me that you’re going to tell them.” He leaned in and kissed me.
Since I liked the touch, I didn’t correct him and let it linger. His lips moved against mine then his tongue touched mine. Slowly, he pulled away.
“Actually, he just invited us over for dinner. I wasn’t planning on saying anything to them.”
His eyes fell in disappointment. He released a sad sigh but didn’t say anything else.
“Just give me time, alright?”
“I didn’t say anything,” he said calmly.
“I asked his opinion about gay people just to feel him out.”
“And?”
“I couldn’t really tell. He doesn’t seem against it, but he’s also not an advocate for it. I really have no idea how he would react to my news.”
“I guess we’ll find out when it happens.”
The last thing I wanted to do was tell them but I didn’t say the thought out loud. I knew how Heath felt about it so I kept the thought to myself.
***
I drove to my parents’ house while Heath rested his hand on my thigh. I’d become accustomed to his touch, and when it wasn’t there I noticed it.
“You think they’ll like my kabobs?”
“I’m sure they will,” I said. “My mom and sister love to eat so they’ll be gone quickly.”
He smirked. “I like your sister. She’s cool.”
“Yeah…she’s alright.” She said she approved of Heath being gay but would she approve me? She and I argued a lot and we were never particularly close, but I would hate to lose her. The idea of losing my family made me appreciate them so much. They’d always been so supportive of me, and most of the time, I’d been a dick to them. Now I felt guilty.
I reached the driveway and noticed Cayson’s car. He’d come along for dinner too.
“So,” Heath said. “You aren’t going to tell them?”
“No.” Ashamed, I didn’t look at him.
“Because tonight would be the perfect time. Your family is here and I’m right beside you.”
“Heath, I’m not ready,” I snapped. “Stop pushing me. You’ve been out for years. Give me some time, okay?”
He sighed then looked out the window. “You’ll feel better once you’re honest about it. You’ll be free. No more sneaking around.”
“Heath, you’ve told me your stance on this and I get it. I understand. I really do. But give me some space, alright?”
“Fine.” His voice was full of irritation.
I didn’t want to go inside when we were fighting like this. I grabbed his hand. “I love you.”
“Now let’s eat.”
We walked inside then greeted my family. Mom looked at me like she hadn’t seen me in years. “You look so handsome, Ro. You’ve been working out?”
“Thanks, Mom. I try to go a few times a week.”
“It shows, honey.” She hugged me tightly with strength I didn’t know she had. She was a foot shorter than me and at least a hundred pounds lighter.
“You look nice, Mom.” I tried to say things I never mentioned before. This might be my last chance.
“Thank you.” She held up her apron. “Your father got this for me.”
Dad came to her side. “She looks cute, huh?”
“I didn’t know she liked pineapples so much,” I noted.
“Now she does.” Dad pulled me in for a hug. “Thanks for coming.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
He pulled away and regarded me seriously. “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head or something?”
I chuckled. “I’m sure. I guess I’ve realized how disrespectful I’ve been for the past few years. I took you guys for granted. I’m sorry for that.” I kept my emotion in my throat. The thought of losing them scared me to death. Now I felt horrible for some of the mean things I said.
Dad gripped my shoulder. “It’s water under the bridge, son.”
“Thanks…”
Mom gave me a fond look. “My baby is all grown up.”
I averted my gaze and remained quiet.
Heath stood beside me, watching our interaction. “I brought kabobs.”
Mom took the Tupperware from him. “Thank you, honey. That was so thoughtful of you.” She hugged him tightly then gave him a warm smile. “We’re so glad you’re here. You’ve become part of the family.”
“Thank you,” he said. “I feel like I’m part of the family.”
Dad shook his hand. “Ever since my son started hanging out with you, he’s become a better man. Keep rubbing off on him.”
I cringed at my interpretation of his words.
“I think Roland is doing that on his own. But thank you,” Heath replied.
Skye came into the entryway. She walked right past me and headed for Heath. “How are you?” She hugged him tightly.
“I’m wonderful. How are you?” he asked.
“Great. I’m so glad you’re here.”