by Jen Davis
Matt scratched the back of his head. “They never suspected?”
Robby hugged a pillow to his chest. “Who knows? My dad sure seemed shocked enough to find me kissing Luke Potter in the barn when I was sixteen. He threw me out on the spot. I had nothing but the clothes on my back and twenty-three dollars in my wallet.”
“Which is how you ended up alone in Atlanta.” Matt nodded like something had clicked in his head.
He didn’t even know the worst of it. None of his friends did.
They only saw the Robby he wanted them to see.
The sweet people pleaser was second nature. Seven years ago, in fact, it was the only way he knew to be. Loving, innocent, and earnest. That kid was the best version of himself. But unlike his sixteen-year-old self, the adult version had experienced every emotion on the flip side of the coin. He knew what hate felt like. Desolation. He’d been jaded before he turned eighteen.
The things he’d done—just to survive—would shock and horrify the people who knew him now, the people who loved him.
Those sides of Robby: the whore, the thief, the chameleon, the addict…and worse…those facets of him still lingered beneath the surface. But if he shoved them down hard enough, he could pretend like they weren’t there. Like they’d never had been.
Like he’d never committed the ultimate sin.
His father would have never been right about him.
“Things were hard. I don’t want to go into it all, but in the end, drugs helped me get through the worst of it.” Looking back, he hated himself for it. For the drugs and for so much more.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“No. I want to forget it all. I would, but all of a sudden, my past is right here, and it’s like it wants me back. I don’t want to go.” He wanted to grab onto Matt with both hands and hold on until everything else went away.
“Your ex seems like a bastard.”
Yeah, well, Robby’s threshold for bastards was pretty high. “I’ve known worse. I don’t want to talk about John. I don’t want to think about John or the person I was when we were together. I want to be better and stronger and to be able to deal with stress without wanting to drown in oblivion.”
Matt grabbed his hand. “You are better and stronger, because whether you wanted to or not, you didn’t choose oblivion. You chose me.”
If you were mine, I’d always choose you.
Robby looked down at their linked hands, squeezed, and pulled away. Matt wasn’t his, at least not in the way he wanted. He was here, though, which counted for a lot. “You want to check out those new map downloads?”
Matt swiped the controller from the coffee table. “Your account or mine?”
Chapter FIFTEEN
Robby
Shuffling from one foot to the other, Robby stood outside Brick’s door waiting for someone to answer his knock. Liv had texted him to come by after work, but she didn’t say why. If he was lucky, a plate of pasta waited for him in the kitchen.
Liv opened the door, grabbed him by the wrist, and pulled him inside.
He caught a whiff of a light, floral perfume.
“We,” she declared, “are all going out tonight.”
“We are?” On a random Wednesday?
She pursed her lips, drawing his attention to the shiny pink gloss there. Liv wasn’t usually one to wear makeup. She also had on a cute dress with a flared skirt and strappy shoes. Not her normal teacher attire.
“What’s the occasion?” And why was he here?
“Jonathan came home in a terrible mood Monday night and hasn’t come out of his funk since. He wouldn’t talk about it.” She smoothed her hair. “When I was talking to Amanda this afternoon, she told me the same thing was going on with Kane. I don’t suppose you know any reason why the two of them were set off?”
He stared at his shoes. Brick and Kane had seemed okay at work, but if he was being honest, they had kind of been walking on eggshells yesterday. He didn’t want to lie about what happened with John, but he had no intention of reliving the experience.
She hummed. “Well, whatever happened, I figured it would be nice for us all to go out and have a good time. Jonathan said you were working at another site today, so you didn’t see him, but he’s still wound up a little tight.” She ruffled his hair. “He loves you. If anyone can help me get him out of this funk, it’s you.”
How could he say no?
“Kane and Amanda are at the restaurant. Matt is meeting us there too.”
He perked up at the mention of Matt’s name. “Yeah?”
Brick scowled as he emerged from the bedroom. He tugged at the collar of the polo shirt straining across his broad chest. “You have anything to do with this, Robby?”
“Oh, hush,” Liv tutted. “Just get in the car. We haven’t been to Moe’s in ages.”
Moe’s was a small bar and grill just a few blocks away. He had only been there once before, when Brick and Liv first met. They had pool tables in the back. Unfortunately, pool was not his forte.
Still, if Liv thought it would make Brick happy, he considered it no hardship to go back. Especially if they still had cheese sticks on the menu.
Kane and Amanda were already seated at a table when they arrived.
Brick grumbled at his wife. “How come Kane gets to wear a T-shirt?”
Liv whispered something into his ear, and his cheeks turned a dusky pink. “I’m gonna hold you to that, Livie-mine.”
They joined their friends at the table and ordered an appetizer sampler to share. Normally, Kane and Brick would be cracking jokes or flirting with their wives like crazy by now. Instead, Kane picked at the label on his longneck, and Brick tugged on his collar again.
Robby sighed. “I’m sorry about what happened at the site the other day.”
“Don’t,” Brick growled. “Your brain is taking you places you don’t need to go.” He slashed his hand through the air before Robby could even argue. “You are not responsible for the shit other people do. I know you don’t think so much of yourself. I’ve been there. You’ve got to hear me, though. You’re better than that. Better than your fucktard ex thinks you are. Better than you think you are. And I’ll just have to keep telling you so as long as it takes for you to believe it. You did the same thing for me.”
“I did?”
“Damn right you did. You were the first person who ever wanted to be my friend. Not because I could do something for you or because you were scared of me. Just because…hell, I still don’t know why. You did, though, and it meant something to me. It still does. You feel me?”
Robby rubbed his chest. “Yeah. I’ll let it go if you will. I know you’re mad about what happened. I know you’ve got my back. What I need right now, though, is to have some fun with my friends. Besides, if the two of you stay like this, your wives are going to disown me.”
The waitress set the tray of food on the table, and Brick swiped a Buffalo chicken wing. “Nobody is going to disown you.”
Robby frowned as Kane, Amanda, and Liv each grabbed a cheese stick, leaving none left on the platter. “I know. The disowning part was a joke, but I meant the rest. Seriously, though, can you try, please, to let it go?”
“Whatever,” Kane grumbled, swiping one of the popcorn shrimps.
The women exchanged curious looks, but neither pressed the issue. Slowly, as the couples made their way through another round of drinks, laughter joined into the conversation, and by the third beer, Kane was extolling the virtues of how pregnancy enhanced his wife’s cup size.
Robby stuck with iced tea.
Matt arrived just as they finished eating and surprised the table by ordering two dozen Jell-O shots, a move met with great enthusiasm by Brick and Kane, since their wives had volunteered to be designated drivers. Halfway through, the party moved to the pool tables, where Brick and Liv faced off against Kane and Amanda.
Robby and Matt opted for a dart game on the other side of the room.
“Are you sure
it doesn’t bother you for us to drink around you?” Matt asked, pulling the darts from the board on the wall.
“I told you when you asked me last night, it doesn’t tempt me to see people drink. Sometimes, things just trigger me.” Robby took one of the darts from Matt’s hand and tossed it right into the bullseye. “Don’t worry. The more you drink, the worse you’ll play. Then, I’m practically guaranteed to win.”
“Robby? That you?” Chandler, the guy who did outreach for the Q-Center, approached him with a broad smile.
Robby grinned back as the man greeted him with an enthusiastic hug.
Chandler had sapphire blue eyes, all the more gorgeous when paired with his thick, black hair. The man could stop traffic, and he knew it. “Thanks again for all your help this weekend. I’ve been hoping you’d come back.”
Matt cleared his throat.
Crap. Robby didn’t mean to be rude. “I’m sorry. Matt, this is Chandler. Chandler, this is Matt. He’s, uh, a friend from work. Matt, Chandler’s—”
“It’s no problem.” Matt held up his hands and stepped back. “You guys catch up. I’m going to go order another round of shots.”
Robby fought back a smile. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Matt was jealous. Though he had no reason to be. Chandler might be hot, but he was happily married. To a woman.
“It looks like the green-eyed monster is making an appearance tonight.” Chandler took a swig of the beer in his hand. “You sure that guy’s just a friend?”
Robby snuck a peek at the bar where Matt was holding up a twenty-dollar bill. Maybe his finances were finally turning around.
“Robby?”
“Oh. Sorry. Yeah, he put me square in the friend zone. Believe me, I wish it were otherwise.”
Chandler chuckled. “Give it time. I have a feeling you won’t have to wait too long and Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome will surprise you. In the meantime, I want to pick your brain about the trick you showed me with that Excel file.”
***
Matt
Matt stalked back to the table where they’d started the night, then sucked back five Jell-O shots in quick succession. Who the heck was Chandler anyway? Stupid name. Stupid muscles and tight jeans.
He wanted to wipe the smug smile off the man’s face. To plant a flag in the ground in front of Robby and proclaim him off limits to the rest of the world. To declare Robby his. Not Chandler’s or John’s.
Not even Brick’s or Kane’s.
Scowling, he swiped another filled, flimsy paper shot glass from the dwindling supply. The unfamiliar jealousy made him feel petty, but he couldn’t shake it off.
He swallowed more chilled gelatin without tasting it.
The scrape of the chair beside him drew his eye to Brick’s thick frame settling down at the table. He blinked slowly at his co-worker. “You’re too big to move so quietly.”
Brick snorted. “In my line of work—” He paused. “In my old line of work, sometimes a little stealth could save me a whole lot of problems.”
He knew Brick used to be associated with a drug kingpin, but Matt had never been tempted to ask for details. Apparently, not until now. He needed a distraction in the worst way. “What was your old line of work anyway?” Elbow propped on the table, he rested his chin in his hands.
The Budweiser longneck in Brick’s hand paused an inch from his lips. “You really want to know?”
Lifting another Jell-O shot, he tapped it against Brick’s beer in a silent toast.
The big guy took a long pull of his Bud and set the glass bottle on the table. “Let’s just say I broke things.” His hand clenched around the longneck. “I’m not proud of it, but it’s a skill you never forget. I’d do it again in a heartbeat to protect one of my own.”
Even with the hard buzz clanging around in his head, Matt understood Brick didn’t break things so much as people. The knowledge should’ve scared him, but instinctively, he knew Brick’s threat would extend to anyone who threatened Robby. “Good,” he murmured. “I’m glad Robby has people like you and Kane looking out for him.” When he wasn’t being a shallow, jealous twat. “Rob always sees the good in people.”
Nodding sagely, Brick released his tight hold on the beer and took a shallow sip. “Yeah, well, I always look for the worst. Keeps me from getting disappointed. It’s also kept me from getting dead.”
Matt absently lined up the crushed, empty paper cups on the table in front of him. “I don’t really think about all that too much, I guess. I kind of live in a bubble. It’s all about doing what’s necessary for my kid. Being the kind of dad I wish I would’ve had.”
Brick leaned back in his chair. “I think all of us have the same thing in common. No dad. Deadbeat dad. Asshole dad.” He circled the air with his finger to include Robby and Kane in his assessment. “We’ve all got different stories, but we’re all gonna have to figure out how to be decent parents without any firsthand exposure.”
“Yeah. My dad bailed when I was a kid, but I’ve got a good mom.”
“Then you’re better off than a lot of people.” Draining the rest of his beer, Brick set the bottle on the now-empty shot tray. “I’d better get back to my girl but let me know if you need a ride home, man. I think the booze is going to your head.” He grinned. “You’d never reveal actual facts about yourself sober.”
Was he drunk?
He chewed on his lower lip. For sure, he’d had more shots than he’d had at Nitro Monday night. How many exactly was anybody’s guess. How many had he ordered? Did Brick’s wife put more on the tray? This week, he’d probably swallowed more shots than in the rest of his life put together.
He stood, and all the blood rushed to his head. Or from his head. Or whatever the hell made it feel like gravity was playing a special kind of joke on him tonight.
Stumbling back, he might have landed on his rear end, but a warm, lean body blocked his fall.
“Whoa, there,” Robby breathed, just behind his ear.
He lingered an extra moment before staggering fully upright. “Sorry. I guess I may have gone a little overboard with the Jell-O shots.” He twisted his mouth to the side. “Guess I qualify as a lightweight.”
Robby wrapped his arm around his waist. “Trust me. It beats the alternative.”
Matt scowled. “What happened to your friend?” He made air quotes around the word. Petty? Probably.
If it fazed Robby, he didn’t let it show. “C’mon. I left my car at Brick’s. Give me your keys, and I’ll get you home.”
Leaning heavily against Robby’s side, he fished the keys out of his pocket, and he must have rattled off the address, because somehow, in no time at all, Robby was tugging him out of the passenger seat of the car and leading him into the apartment.
Robby closed the front door with the back of his foot as he supported Matt’s weight. “Sofa or bed?”
Turning his body deeper into Robby’s hold, he caught a whiff of cologne, the same one the man was wearing when he’d stumbled into Closing Time. Then, he had fought the urge to lean into the scent. This time, though, he felt no such compunction to hold back.
He buried his face into Robby’s neck and breathed deeply. “God, you smell so good.”
Robby stiffened beneath him, and Matt lifted his head.
“Was I not supposed to say so?” He knew he ought to be fighting this, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why.
The line of Robby’s rigid shoulders relaxed. “It’s okay. I’m just not used to seeing you this way. So, uh, bold.”
Robby’s arm still curved around his side. It felt both foreign and familiar.
He rested his left hand on Robby’s bicep. “I’m not used to being seen.” He lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “This way or any way. At least, not until I met you.”
“Maybe you just didn’t know where to look.” Robby smiled. “You’re not alone, you know. You’ve got people who care about you. Kane, Brick—”
“You?” He tilted his face a little close
r to Robby’s, the intoxicating scent tickling his nose again.
Robby’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Yeah. Of course.”
Matt edged closer still, and from his new vantage point, could make out each of Robby’s individual eyelashes. The man’s brown eyes were deep pools of melted chocolate being swallowed by his pupils. “The guy at the bar tonight. I wanted to kick his ass.” The admission came out before he could stop it.
Robby grinned. “Really?”
“Stupid Chandler.” Matt put his right hand on the curve where Robby’s neck met his shoulder. “You’re not his. You’re mine.”
Robby gasped, and it was like someone had finally flipped on a light after he’d been sitting in the dark his whole life.
He leaned forward.
So close.
He could finally have what everyone else did. Passion. Desire. With someone he cared about. Robby wouldn’t just be his friend anymore.
Never in his life had he ever so desperately wanted to kiss someone. His heart pounded in his chest. His mouth watered, begging for a taste of Robby’s full lips, the pink tongue now sweeping over what he knew was pillowy softness.
Would it be as good as before? Could he finally have what everyone else took for granted? For the first time, he thought maybe he could. Maybe, with this growing ache could be the satisfaction always hovering just out of reach.
Closing the small remaining distance between them, he crushed his lips to Robby’s. It wasn’t a gentle or tentative kiss. It was fire and passion. A claiming. A goddamn revelation.
Robby’s mouth stayed frozen beneath his for a fraction of a second, but the fire was catching. Almost immediately, Robby was devouring him with the same intensity. Their tongues dueled against each other, sliding, twining, almost punishing.
As his dick hardened, he released Robby’s arm to clench his back and pull their bodies taut against each other.
This! This was how it was supposed to feel to have a hard body against you.
Because Robby’s body was hard.
Not just the surprising strength of his embrace, the grip of his hands, but the firmness of his torso pinned against Matt’s and the answering erection pushing relentlessly against his own.