All I Have Left of You

by Laura Daniels

  ‘What?’ I smiled.

  ‘When you kiss me there, and when you’re just… you,’ he said softly.

  ‘I suppose that’s why you’re marrying me,’ I said.

  ‘Oh, Lina, I’ll never be able to count the number of reasons I’m desperate to make you my wife. But, yes, that is one of them.’ Michael said, finally happy again. At least for now.

  ‘So, shall we go inside and hold onto each other for dear life until the night is over?’ I asked, still squeezing his hand in mine.

  He leaned across to press his lips against mine. His kiss was soft and lingering. ‘Deal,’ he said when he pulled away. ‘Let’s do this, Mrs Mills-to-be.’

  Lydia and Dave had put on a lovely spread of cheeses, wines, pastries, pies, and quiches. It was elegantly displayed on the dining room table upon fancy glass plates and trays. The wine was even stored in decanters.

  The hosts looked brilliant, too. Dave had put on a tuxedo, and Lydia wore an emerald green dress that fell to the floor, and she’d curled her light blonde hair. My parents looked equally as suave, with Dad sporting a tuxedo similar to Dave’s- I’m sure they thought they looked James Bond- and Mum looked fab in a mid-length dress of navy blue silk. Our aunts, uncles, and cousins had all made an effort to look their best too, and each handed us cards and congratulatory gifts and well wishes.

  But when Genevieve and Jez walked in, nobody took any notice of any of those things anymore. All eyes were on the runaway Mills daughter, and to say we were all surprised by her was an understatement.

  Genevieve looked fantastic.

  Her skin was bronzed, her lips plumped and full. Her brown eyes sparkled and were perfected with smoky eyeshadow and flicks of black eyeliner. She wore a mauve dress with thin straps beneath an expensive-looking leather jacket, and her ombré hair fell in soft waves to her shoulders. Her perfume was strong. Lady Million, by Paco Raban, I think it was. It followed her about the room.

  Jez looked suave too. His slick, navy suit looked designer, and his thick blonde locks were styled with gel to one side. His teeth were bright white, and like Genevieve, his skin was tanned. Blue eyes twinkled behind long lashes.

  It seemed that perhaps we’d been worried for no reason. And it wasn’t just the immediate family that had been concerned. The room let out a sigh of relief, stunned by how well she appeared to be doing. And it wasn’t just that she’d presented herself well; her eyes were beaming with happiness and confidence, something we’d never seen before. Her eyes had seethed with anger and resentment for so long.

  ‘So, what have you been doing for work?’ I asked Genevieve a little while later. Michael and I stood in the kitchen with her and Jez. We each had a champagne flute in hand. I was watching what I was drinking, though. I was planning on doing some research for an article the following day and needed all the energy I could muster. Hangovers had started to last about two days.

  ‘Jez got me a job at his club. I manage the bar,’ she answered with a smile. Wow. Management. She really had come a long way.

  Jez nodded and snaked his arm around her waist. ‘That’s right. She’s my number one girl.’ His smile was one of adoration.

  ‘Oh, cool,’ Michael said, and I could tell that his surprise was just as prominent as mine. ‘How long have you been doing that?’

  Genevieve pursed her lips. ‘About a year now. Is that right, babe?’

  Jez nodded with a grin. ‘That’s why this is our first visit up here. I bought the place eighteen months ago, and I’ve been doing it up ever since. Gen has been an absolute godsend!’

  ‘That’s brilliant,’ Michael said, still positively flabbergasted. ‘Do you enjoy it, Gen?’

  ‘She loves it. Don’t you?’ Jez responded. Genevieve nodded along.

  ‘It feels like I’ve finally found where I’m meant to be, you know?’ she said with a bright smile.

  ‘Well, we sure have missed you, sis. We’ve been really worried about you,’ he said tentatively.

  Genevieve nodded apologetically. ‘I know. I’m really sorry. I should have been in touch. The longer I left things, the harder it became to pick up the phone. I was going to come to Dad’s birthday party. I got ready and packed a case and everything, and then I just got scared and backed out the night before,’ she explained sadly.

  ‘We’re your family, Gen. Why would you be scared?’ Michael said, a little saddened by his sister’s revelation.

  Genevieve sighed, regret shining in her eyes. ‘I didn’t exactly leave on good terms. I was ashamed, and I thought you’d all be disappointed in me. I didn’t want to spoil the party.’

  Michael’s lips tightened and a thin smile formed. ‘Well, you’re here now. Don’t be a stranger, okay? I’d like to get to know my big sister again.’

  Chapter Twenty

  13th June 2015

  ‘What time is it?’ I asked Mum for about the fiftieth time. I was pacing up and down the living room at my parents’ house. Today was my hen do, and we were driving to Center Parcs for an afternoon spa. The only problem was that one of my hens was yet to arrive.

  ‘It’s almost eleven-thirty,’ Mum said with a long sigh as she looked at her silver watch. We should have set off half an hour ago.

  ‘Have you heard from her at all?’ Roanna asked.

  I shook my head. ‘Only a week ago when she said she was coming. I gave her all the dates and times and everything. Has she spoken to you, Lydia?’

  Michael’s mum shook her head. ‘No, love. I spoke to her last night, and she said she’d see us all today. Do you want me to give her a quick ring?’

  I nodded. ‘Yeah, if you can. Thanks.’

  Lydia disappeared from the living room.

  ‘I’m sure Gen will be here any second, Lina,’ Kit offered from where she sat on the sofa. ‘My cousin was an hour late for my hen, remember?’

  ‘Yeah, and she was off her face from her previous night

  out, remember?’ I retorted.

  Kit winced as the memory came back. ‘Oh yeah. She was sick in the car, wasn’t she?’

  I nodded, hoping this wasn’t going to be a repeat of that incident.

  ‘I also remember her flashing the workmen on the motorway!’ Roanna laughed.

  I laughed a little in spite of my worry. I’d never forgotten the look on the faces of those workmen. One had spat out his coffee, and another had dropped his bacon sandwich in a cement mixer.

  ‘What about when one of them flashed her his own pair of boobs?’ Kit said, struggling to get through her words as she giggled.

  We were in fits of laughter, and then Lydia came back into the living room.

  She looked a bit pale, but a smile was painted across her face.

  ‘Is she on her way?’ I asked, wiping tears of laughter from my eyes.

  ‘She can’t make it, I’m afraid. Someone has called in sick at work, and she has to cover,’ Lydia replied with a sad smile.

  It was odd, but I got the feeling that Lydia wasn’t telling the truth. I could see the tension in the lines on her face, and her body seemed stiffer as though an invisible weight had settled itself on her shoulders. Her smile was too wide, too forced.

  ‘Oh,’ I said, a little disappointed. I hadn’t exactly grown what I would call close to Genevieve in the past year, but I’d seen her a couple of times at family functions, and I wanted to get to know my future sister-in-law. ‘That’s a shame. I guess we’d better set off then?’

  Lydia’s behaviour bothered me.

  I hadn’t raised my suspicions about her lying; it was her business, and if she’d wanted to share it with us, she would have done. But all afternoon, she kept ducking out of the spa to check her phone and to make calls. Each time she’d returned she’d made an excuse, followed by a forced laugh. ‘Dave’s having trouble working the washing machine,’ ‘Dave wants to know what I’ve left him for tea,’ ‘Dave can’t find his blue shirt.’ ‘Men,’ she’d said, ‘they can’t survive even an afternoon without us can they, eh?’


  And I wasn’t the only one that had noticed the oddity of her actions.

  Roanna and Kit exchanged glances each time she left a steam room or sauna, and Mum averted my gaze whenever I tried to make eye contact with her. Did she know what was going on as well?

  I tried hard to enjoy the soothing aroma in the hot steam of the Japanese salt bath and the gentle music of the meditation room, but I couldn’t settle. Even my favourite Greek Herbal bath couldn’t get the cogs in my brain to stop turning or my toes to stop twitching.

  What had happened?

  Just how bad was it?

  We were sat in our fluffy white robes having a glass of prosecco in the spa cafe when I finally spoke up.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ I asked Lydia cautiously. ‘You don’t seem yourself.’

  Lydia looked a little shocked, as though surprised I’d managed to see through her cheery façade. ‘Everything is fine, Lina. Don’t worry about a thing,’ she replied after a few moments, painting her fake smile back on.

  ‘Are you sure?’ I pressed, as I ran my index finger along the rim of my glass. I decided that if she didn’t tell me this time, I’d drop it until the following day at least. ‘If something is bothering you, you can tell me. How long have you known me? Almost fifteen years.’

  She took a deep breath, and I saw her battle with herself, trying to decide whether or not to tell me. Her fake smile cracked like a delicate china cup. Creases of worry appeared on her face and her eyes grew dark. ‘It’s Genevieve,’ she said at last.

  My heart skipped a beat, although truth be told, I wasn’t as surprised as I’d like to have been. Maybe a part of me had still worried for my future sister-in-law, despite how well she had seemed lately.

  ‘What’s happened?’ I asked quietly.

  Mum looked down into her drink sadly, confirming my suspicions that she already knew what was going on.

  ‘Kit, shall we go and choose some cake for everyone?’ Roanna said, clearly wanting to give Lydia the time to talk about her family matters without their presence.

  Kit nodded, and the two of them left the table and headed to the counter to look at the desserts.

  Once they were out of earshot, Lydia took a deep breath. ‘She’s moving back home,’ she said, lifting her glass of prosecco and downing it in one. ‘For good.’

  A part of me thought that was a good thing, but the look on Lydia’s face told me it wasn’t. Not at all. ‘Why? What about Jez? Her job?’

  Tears started to shine in her blue eyes. ‘I didn’t want to spoil your day, Lina.’

  I reached across to take one of her hands in mine. ‘Don’t be silly. You’re not spoiling anything. You can tell me.’

  ‘Jez is why she’s moving back,’ she said, using her free hand to dab away her tears with a napkin. ‘He’s been arrested.’

  My jaw dropped. ‘Arrested? What for?’ My pulse started to race. Had he hurt her?

  ‘He’s been dealing drugs out of his club,’ she said. Her voice was so low I’d only just managed to hear her. ‘He thinks she was the one who told the police, but she swears she had no idea it was going on.’

  My mouth fell open. ‘Oh my god!’ I gasped.

  ‘Genevieve got the train back to Manchester this afternoon. She’ll be home when I get back,’ explained Lydia.

  ‘Jesus. You didn’t have to come today, you know? You could have stayed and waited for her,’ I told her. I hated the idea of Lydia coming to my hen do when her daughter was having a crisis like this.

  Lydia shook her head. ‘I wanted to, sweetheart. Genevieve told me to come. She didn’t want to ruin your day.’

  I shook my head slowly. ‘That’s very sweet of her, but this is huge. She needn’t have worried about that. We could have rearranged!’

  ‘No, darling. This is your day. We’re here to celebrate that you’re marrying my son and how happy you make each other. You’ll be my daughter too before long,’ Lydia finished with a smile. ‘Well, now that it’s out in the open, perhaps we can try and enjoy the rest of the day?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Maybe we should get back for Genevieve. She needs her family.’

  Lydia shook her head firmly. ‘No, Lina. Michael and her dad will be there, and I’ll be there tonight. Please, let’s celebrate your upcoming marriage to my son?’

  Hesitantly, I nodded.

  Lydia smiled. ‘Brilliant! Now let me get us another bottle of prosecco.’

  Chapter Twenty-One

  3rd August 2019

  Time without Michael: 1 Year, 7 Months, 18 Days

  Las Vegas blew me away.

  The hotels were huge, like mini-cities, with restaurants, clubs, and theme parks all within them. We arrived at night, and the lights sparkled, lighting up the strip with the promise of excitement and the lure of pleasure. We’d booked a room with two double beds so two of us would have to share one of them which was fine. They were massive anyway! We were only staying a few nights and couldn’t justify spending most of the budget on a bigger room when we had a lot to get through.

  ‘So, are we gonna get changed and head to a bar?’ Roanna said the second we’d put our cases down in our room.

  I laughed and turned from the large window, and the fantastic view, to meet her gaze. ‘Are you kidding? I’m absolutely shattered, and I don’t fancy riding that bloody roller coaster with a hangover. I’m nervous enough as it is!’

  ‘Oh, come on! We’ve never been to Vegas together before, and I really want to get wasted on the ridiculously expensive vodka they serve!’ Roanna moaned.

  ‘I’m in,’ Kit said happily.

  ‘You are?’ Roanna said excitedly.

  Kit nodded with defiance. ‘Absolutely. I haven’t been wasted since I had the twins and I could definitely do with letting my hair down.’

  I raised my brows. Kit was the most reserved of all of us, and since we’d left uni, she’d barely been drunk at all. ‘Who are you and what have you done with Kit?’

  Kit huffed. ‘Look, I’m facing a potential divorce because the love of my life cheated on me. I’m in Las Vegas. I want to get drunk!’

  Roanna clapped her hands together. ‘Yes!’

  ‘Is the couple’s therapy not going well?’ I asked Kit delicately.

  Kit groaned. ‘I don’t want to talk about it, Lina. All I want to do is get drunk, and forget who I am for a few hours. Are you coming?’

  I looked at my watch. It was just after four in the morning UK time. ‘I don’t think so. I’m just gonna unpack and have a bubble bath.’

  ‘Ugh, you suck,’ Roanna groaned. ‘Fine. But you’re coming out tomorrow night after we’ve been on that roller coaster.’

  An hour and a half later, once I’d unpacked and enjoyed a

  ridiculously expensive glass of mini-bar merlot in the tub, I settled into bed with my phone. I unlocked the screen and was surprised to see I’d had a missed FaceTime call from Max only twenty minutes ago. I frowned and quickly called him back, hoping there was nothing wrong with Indie.

  He answered after a couple of rings, but the picture took a few seconds to right itself, and it was frozen on my kitchen worktop. The sound, however, worked perfectly. ‘Hey!’ he said brightly.

  ‘Hey, is everything okay?’ I asked a little urgently.

  ‘Yeah, of course,’ he said happily. ‘Indie and I are getting ready for an early morning run, and we just wanted to see how Vegas was.’

  ‘Wow,’ I said when the picture cleared. Max was topless. I’d seen him without a top on before but his time in Thailand had toned him. More than I’d previously noticed. Smooth, dark skin stretched over muscle, and it was hard to look away.

  ‘Huh?’ he said, confused.

  ‘Uhm, wow, that’s early. It’s not even six yet. Are you insane?’ I said, trying to cover my slight embarrassment.

  Max laughed. ‘I guess a bit. I prefer to run before everyone else gets out there. It’s nice to have a whole city to yourself.’

  ‘I bet,’ I said, glancing
out of the window and wondering what it would be like to have Las Vegas all to yourself. ‘How has Indie been?’

  Max nodded. ‘She’s good. She misses you though, so I let her sleep on your bed last night.’

  ‘She always does, anyway. I don’t even know why I bothered buying her a bed of her own.’ It sat by the window in the lounge and had been slept in less than a handful of times.

  ‘What have you been up to?’ he asked as he set his phone down in my kitchen and started chopping up some fruit.

  ‘Well, we only got to the hotel a couple of hours ago, so I’ve just been unpacking and then I had a nice long bath to get fourteen hours of travelling off me. The girls have gone out, but I couldn’t be bothered,’ I finished with a yawn.

  ‘I’m not surprised. You’ve almost been up a whole day,’ Max said, reminding me how tired I was.

  ‘I have.’ I yawned again. ‘In fact, I should probably get some sleep,’ I told him.

  Max nodded, smiling. ‘Yes. You should. Let me know how the Stratosphere is tomorrow, or, today, or whenever it is.’

  I laughed. ‘It’s today your time, tomorrow mine. I think. And I will. Enjoy your run and give Indie a kiss from me.’

  Max grinned. ‘Will do.’

  I woke after nine hours of uninterrupted sleep to find Roanna already up and sipping a cup of coffee on the other bed. Kit was nowhere to be seen.

  ‘Morning sleepyhead,’ Roanna said with a smile. ‘Coffee?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said, sitting up. ‘Thanks.’

  Roanna set down her own coffee on the bedside table and skipped across the room to pour one for me. She was wearing one of the hotel’s fluffy white robes, and her long black hair was wet and smelled like fruity shampoo. It didn’t entirely mask the smell of alcohol, though, and when she came close to hand me the coffee, I picked up the scent of red wine lingering behind her minty breath.

  ‘Where’s Kit?’ I asked as I took a sip of coffee.

  Roanna laughed as she sat down on the edge of my bed. ‘She got hammered last night.’