Villa of Sun and Secrets

by Jennifer Bohnet

  ‘Would you like to dance with me?’ He held out his hands and gently pulled Carla to her feet when she took hold of them.

  Standing in the circle of Joel’s arms, her head resting on his shoulder, as they moved slowly together to the rhythm of the music, Carla’s only thought was, This is the perfect ending to my birthday, and she unconsciously snuggled in closer to Joel.

  37

  The next morning, Carla and Ed were having a late breakfast out on the terrace when David arrived to say goodbye before heading off to the airport.

  ‘Great party last night,’ he said. ‘Really enjoyed myself. Maddy not up yet? I was hoping to see her before I left.’

  Carla shook her head. ‘Afraid not.’

  ‘Any coffee left in the pot? Just got time for a quick one,’ he looked at Carla hopefully.

  ‘I’ll get an extra cup,’ Ed said, before Carla could offer.

  ‘Didn’t get a chance to ask you yesterday, but Maddy mentioned something about you having to deal with all the “Josette business”. No problems with this place I hope?’

  Carla shook her head. ‘No. Something else entirely.’

  ‘You going to tell me?’ David looked at her expectantly.

  Carla sighed. She had to tell David the truth sometime and, as he had a plane to catch soon, he wouldn’t be able to stay and plague her with questions. ‘Josette told me, she, not Amelia, was my mother,’ she said quietly.

  Speechless for once, David stared at her.

  ‘Which, as you can imagine, was a huge shock.’

  David still hadn’t spoken when Ed reappeared with a cup, poured a coffee and handed it to him. ‘Thanks.’ He took a long drink. ‘You told the twins and not me?’

  ‘I would have told you soon,’ Carla said. ‘But, to be honest, it’s taken me time to get my head around things. What with the divorce and settling in here, telling you about Josette slipped way down the list. And, really, it doesn’t affect you in the same way.’

  ‘Does she know who the father was? I mean, according to Amelia, Josette was always a bit of a hippy. Free love and all that in the sixties.’

  ‘You are totally out of order with that remark,’ Carla snapped at him. ‘I might have guessed you’d jump to conclusions and make some crass insinuation. Josette told me who my father was. It’s the man I called Dad all my life.’

  ‘Robert?’

  ‘Yes.’ Carla held up her hand. ‘There isn’t time today for me to tell you the full story, but Maddy and Ed know it and have my permission to tell you more. Right now you have a plane to catch.’ She stood up. ‘Have a safe trip home,’ and Carla picked up the remains of breakfast and made her way into the villa, leaving Ed to see his father off.

  She was busy wiping down kitchen surfaces when Ed came back.

  ‘Dad said to apologise. He’ll ring you later.’

  ‘He’s had to do a lot of apologising this weekend,’ Carla said. ‘And I really hope he forgets to ring.’

  ‘You probably don’t want to hear this, but yesterday he seemed really sad, admitting everything was his fault and saying he knows he totally screwed up things. He never wanted a divorce.’

  ‘Of course he didn’t. He wanted to have his cake and eat it. Hoped I would forgive him and the status quo would return.’

  ‘So no chance of the two of you getting back together again?’ Ed said. ‘Like Dad was hinting he wanted yesterday to me and Maddy.’

  ‘NO. That little episode this morning confirmed I’ve done the right thing for me. Going back to a marriage that in truth died many years ago would be a backward step in so many ways. Not least it would mean giving up the life I’m creating for myself here, and I’m not prepared to do that.’

  Josette was in the courtyard deadheading and generally tidying up the shrubs and the pots when there was a knock on the door.

  Opening the door, expecting it to be Gordon, she stared in shock at the man standing on the doorstep and held on to the door in an effort to steady herself.

  ‘May I come in please, Josie?’

  Silently, she stood to one side and for the first time in fifty years she and Mario Grimaud were within touching distance of each other. He followed her into the sitting room, where Josette looked at him, trying to take in the enormity of him and the situation. Why had he come? Silly question. She knew why he’d come. He wanted closure, to know the truth about the past, and she knew she owed him that at least.

  ‘It’s good to see you again,’ Mario said. ‘When Bruno told me he’d met you and was sure you were my long lost Josie, I couldn’t believe it. After all these years, to see you again is wonderful. You look…’

  ‘A lot older,’ Josette interrupted.

  ‘You still have those wonderful eyes. I know when you’re over the shock of me turning up and you finally smile at me again, your smile will gladden my heart as much as it ever did. And I love your white hair.’

  In spite of herself, Josette laughed and smiled at him. ‘You always could make me smile.’

  ‘I thought we’d planned to spend our lives together making each other smile,’ Mario said quietly. ‘So many years I’ve waited to ask you – why did you leave me?’

  Josette shook her head, close to tears at the intensity in his voice. ‘I had to leave. There was no choice.’

  Mario looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

  Josette closed her eyes. This was turning out to be harder than she could ever have anticipated. She took a deep breath, opened her eyes and, looking at Mario, said. ‘The truth is I was pregnant with another man’s child.’

  Her words fell into a silence that was heartbreaking in its intensity. Long seconds passed before Mario said. ‘Who’s baby was it?’

  Josette managed a gallic shrug before saying. ‘Does it matter?’

  ‘Yes, it does,’ Mario answered with an edge to his voice.

  ‘Robert, my brother-in-law.’

  Josette registered the shock in his body and the pain in his eyes as her words sunk in.

  ‘Shall I make us some coffee?’ Without waiting for an answer, she went into the kitchen. Spooning coffee into the cafetière, she called out, ‘Did you marry? Do you have children? Grandchildren?’ Questions she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answers to, if she were honest. They would only serve to tear the scars that had taken years to heal, wide open again. But she needed to turn the conversation back onto Mario, away from her own heartbreak. Stop him asking questions she dreaded having to answer.

  Mario followed her into the kitchen. ‘A year after you left, I met Concheta. Antoine was born a year later.’ He paused before continuing, ‘Now Antoine is married with a daughter, Stephanie, who is at university in Rome. And Concheta…’ he sighed. ‘She died a year ago.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Josette said. ‘I expect you must miss her.’

  Mario gave a slow nod as he looked at her. ‘Almost as much as I missed you in the beginning. You never married?’

  ‘No. Obviously not meant to be.’

  ‘What happened to Robert’s baby?’

  ‘Robert and Amelia adopted her.’

  ‘Is she the “niece” Bruno tells me who has come to live down here?’

  Josette nodded, watching as Mario ran his hand distractedly through his grey hair. He was still a handsome man who’d turned into a real silver fox.

  ‘So, for her whole life she’s thought of you – known you – as her aunt. Didn’t that make you unhappy and want to tell her the truth?’

  ‘It’s only since Amelia died that I’ve got to know Carla. I was never allowed access. Over the years, Amelia turned me into this rogue aunt.’ She poured the coffee and handed a cup to Mario. ‘Carla does know the truth now. I’d had a couple of glasses of champagne on my birthday and couldn’t stop myself. She’s still coming to terms with the shock of me being her mother.’

  Mario drank his coffee. ‘Did you have feelings for Robert?’ he asked, a tremor in his voice. ‘I’m sorry I have to ask, but I thought I was the on
ly one…’ He stopped and looked at her, an unexpected troubled look on his face. ‘Robert didn’t force himself on you, did he?’

  Josette shook her head. ‘No is the answer to both your questions. It was me being naive and trying to comfort him which made it all go wrong. Although my parents did accuse me of leading him on at one stage, I truly didn’t. It was them who came up with the adoption plan to help Amelia recover after Bobby’s death – you remember how ill she was – and to save the family name of course. The thought of any scandal attaching itself to them couldn’t be tolerated. Never mind the cost to me.’

  ‘I hated your parents for a long time,’ Mario said. ‘I think I still do, hearing all this. But after you’d had the baby, why didn’t you come back to Antibes? To me?’

  ‘I longed to do just that, but I knew it wasn’t possible. I couldn’t face seeing you and knowing it was all over between us. You know what it was like down here in the late sixties. I was second-hand goods and I convinced myself you wouldn’t want me. Besides, my parents weren’t keen on me coming back.‘

  ‘How did you survive? And where?’

  Josette looked at him before saying, ‘Come with me. I want to show you something.’ At the top of the stairs, she stopped and pointed to her framed photos. ‘I became a freelance photographer. I travelled the world. These are some of my more popular photographs.’

  ‘You were seriously good,’ Mario said. ‘I’m not surprised though, you always did have a camera in your hand.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Why have you come home after all the years away?’

  Josette shrugged. ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time. Antibes has always held a special place in my heart.’

  Mario reached out and took her hand. ‘Do I still have a special place in your heart too?’ he asked, looking searchingly at her.

  She bit her lip and nodded. ‘Yes. Always.’ She gently pulled her hand back and started downstairs. ‘What have you been doing for the past fifty years? Did you ever get those tourist boats? You were so right about the growing tourist industry down here. It’s unbelievably busy compared to way back when.’

  Mario followed her back downstairs. ‘No, I didn’t. I went into the family business. I know, I know, after all I said, but in the end I didn’t have much option. I managed to put my own stamp on things though. I eventually left Alexandro to run the pizza cafes and I opened a couple of ice cream parlours. You may have heard of them?’ and he named one of the most famous glacé outlets on the coast.

  ‘That’s yours? I love the ice cream from there.’

  ‘I sold it all last year to an international conglomerate,’ Mario said. ‘And I’ve finally got my dream boat. You must come out on it. We could go to Corsica. You’d love Corsica.’

  ‘Peut-être,’ Josette said.

  ‘Bruno tells me you have a friend, Gordon? Is it serious between you?’

  ‘I think it could be very serious, which is something I never expected to happen to me again,’ Josette said quietly. ‘But at our age…’ she shrugged. ‘New, and old, relationships can be equally difficult.’

  ‘If we were to begin a new relationship, it would be firmly anchored in the old Mario and Josie.’ Mario caught hold of her hand. ‘I’ve loved you forever. I was planning on trying to find you when Bruno said he’d thought he’d met my Josie.’

  Josette gazed at him. She felt as though she was dreaming. Was it possible after all this time, that she and Mario could be in each other’s lives again?

  ‘Were you going to reply to my letter?’ Mario asked.

  ‘Yes, when I found the courage. I was going to apologise for ruining your life and to say being friends again would be rather wonderful.’

  ‘Good. Let’s start by having lunch together today. Yes?’

  Josette smiled and nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

  ‘And, by the way, you don’t have to apologise for anything. You didn’t ruin my life,’ Mario said gently. ‘I’ve not had a bad life – I just lived a different one to the one I’d anticipated. If you ruined anyone’s life it was your own, but judging by those photographs upstairs your life wasn’t ruined either. Like me, you just didn’t live the one you thought you would.’

  Josette pulled a face. ‘I definitely lived a different life to the one I was expecting. Whether it was any worse than the one I longed for,’ she shrugged. ‘Who knows. I do regret not marrying and having a proper family.’ The words ‘with you’ hung unspoken in the air between them.

  ‘It’s too late for us to have children together, but we can enjoy our own families together. Maybe we are being given a second chance at happiness in our later years?’ Mario said. ‘You were my first love and seeing you, being with you, hoping to have you as a real presence in my life again as a friend if not a lover, is, my darling Josie, absolutely wonderful. I’m hoping you will feel the same now we are back in touch.’

  Josette stared at him in silence, not trusting herself to speak. Did he really think it would be that easy?

  38

  Josette could never remember the details of the lunch she ate that day with Mario, or even the restaurant he took her to. Details like that were driven from her mind by the events that happened afterwards.

  Over lunch, Mario told her again how happy he was to have her back in his life. Now the initial shock of him turning up at the cottage and the hit of euphoria she’d experienced at the sight of him had eased, Josette waited for the happy contentment she’d always felt in Mario’s company to arrive. But it didn’t. She was such a bundle of mixed emotions, with everything going round and round in her head. Looking at him, she realised this version of Mario was a very grown-up, sophisticated one. The boy she’d loved so wholeheartedly had disappeared.

  When Mario actually suggested she might think about coming to Italy to make it easier for them to see each other with the words, ‘Be easier for you to move with no real family,’ she protested quickly.

  ‘No, I can’t do that. Carla’s my family now. The twins are my grandchildren. I need to get to know them all. Besides, Antibes is my home.’

  ‘It was just an idea,’ Mario said. ‘We can always discuss it again later. When we’re more established as a couple.’

  Josette had sipped her wine thoughtfully. Mario was taking it as a foregone conclusion that they would soon slip back into their old relationship. Had he always been this bossy? Or had she been so enthralled before that she’d always fallen in with his plans? Fifty years of independent living had changed that though. The meek, pliant young girl no longer existed.

  When Mario walked her home, Gordon was knocking on the cottage door. Josette, surprised at how pleased she was to see him, quickly introduced him to Mario. The two men exchanged polite handshakes and muttered greetings at each other before Mario turned to Josette.

  ‘Thank you for today. Give me a call later? You’ve got my number now.’

  Josette nodded. ‘Will do. And thank you for lunch.’

  Mario turned to Gordon. ‘Good to meet you.’ And he left them both standing on the doorstep of the cottage.

  Silently, Josette unlocked the door and pushed it open.

  ‘You didn’t say you were having lunch with Mario,’ Gordon said.

  ‘I didn’t know I was. He just turned up here this morning, wanting to talk and suggested lunch,’ Josette explained. ‘We do have a lot of catching up to do.’

  ‘Is he married?’

  ‘He’s a widower – his wife died a year ago. He has a son and a granddaughter.’

  She shook her head and sighed. ‘It was really strange. I’ve spent years dreaming about what might have been, blaming myself for ruining his life by leaving him. Turns out I didn’t ruin his life and now he wants me back in it. Having met him again, I have no idea whether I want that or not. I mean, I think I can sense underneath he’s still the same kind Mario that I knew, but we’ve both been changed by the stuff life has thrown our way. My head is telling me one thing and my heart another. Je
ne sais pas – I have no idea what to do.’

  It was Gordon’s turn to sigh. ‘Josette, I don’t think I’m the best person to give you relationship advice. Conflict of interest, as the saying goes.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I’ve got so used to you being my go-to friend for advice, I didn’t think,’ Josette said. ‘Consider the subject closed.’

  ‘Before I can do that, I have to say something,’ Gordon said. ‘I’m sure you know how I feel about you – about us. But you have to decide what you want for the rest of your life. With whom you want to spend it. I know what I think you should do – and what I want you to do – but it’s a decision only you can make. Let me know when you’ve decided. Ciao.’ And, to Josette’s dismay, he opened the front door and left, the door closing behind him with a definite click.

  Josette squeezed her eyes closed in an effort to stop the tears that were close. The last thing she’d intended to do was to hurt Gordon. He was more than her best friend these days. He was her rock. Shakily, she made her way to the kitchen and sat down.

  She’d carried the belief inside her for so many years that the only thing that would give her true happiness would be to be reunited with Mario. Now they’d found each other again, she was full of doubts. To learn he’d married a mere year after she’d left and started a family almost instantly had hurt. Surely that had been too quick if he’d truly loved her? She, fool that she was, had clung to the memory of her lost love all her life. If they’d married as they’d planned to do, would they still have been together now in their later years?

  Meeting Mario today, there had been no instant flaring of pent-up feelings on her part, not even when he’d told her how much he’d loved her. Instead, the wonderful feeling of closeness she’d experienced the other evening dancing with Gordon at the party, the overwhelming sense of belonging in his arms, crept into her mind and dominated her thoughts, whispering that’s what true love felt like. Not childish dreams of long ago. Josette sighed. Sometimes, even at seventy-four, she didn’t feel capable of making grown-up decisions.