Villa of Sun and Secrets

by Jennifer Bohnet

  She was starting to wonder too, if the decisions she’d taken earlier in her life had been thought through seriously at all. All those hours in her life she’d spent agonising over which way to go before she’d caved in and allowed frightening events to simply swallow her up and change her life.

  She knew instinctively, though, that getting together with Mario would signal the end of her relationship with Gordon. The thought of that happening didn’t bear thinking about. She couldn’t let Gordon go. It was time to jettison the past and truly live in the present. She’d write to Mario and try to explain how she felt and why it was impossible for the two of them to recreate what they’d once had. And pray that he would understand.

  Opening the kitchen bureau drawer, she found her writing pad and a pen underneath Mario’s letter and the original package that Carla brought with her. Maybe it was time to open the package. Taking everything out to the courtyard, she sat at the small table and thought about what she was going to say to Mario. First thing would be to emphasise the fact that going back rarely worked. There tends to be too much baggage on both sides and while the central figures can explain away, apologise and even understand the mistakes made, other people on the borders of the relationship often fail to hide their irritation and hurt.

  She’d tell him she wasn’t sure their shared history was strong enough to withstand the pressures of the present and the future. They’d both changed – it would be better to remember what they’d had, rather than try to recapture it. The years of separation had taken their toll. She’d try to phrase everything as diplomatically as she could.

  So many reasons to list, but as she made mental notes about them, she realised the most important one was the fact she was no longer enthralled with Mario. She’d be happy to be in his life as a loving friend but together again as a couple? No, that was impossible. Thoughtfully, she picked up his letter and re-read it. One sentence leapt out at her: But life goes on and one learns to accept that certain things were never meant to be. She’d quote those words back at him at the end of her letter.

  Ready to write to him now she had things straight in her head, she reached for the writing pad. Her hand knocked the ‘Private and Confidential’ packet Carla had brought with her at the beginning of summer. Hesitantly, she picked it up. If it contained, as she suspected, Carla’s original birth certificate, she would need to give it to Carla.

  It was, indeed, the certificate, but there was another envelope, with the words ‘The Truth”, followed by a large exclamation mark. Intrigued, Josette opened it and drew out two pieces of paper. A letter from Amelia. And an official looking certificate.

  Sitting there reading her last letter from Amelia, Josette, blinded by tears, her breath coming out in great rasping gasps, fought to stop herself from collapsing in a heap on the floor. She wished she’d done what she intended to do months ago and burnt the package without opening it. Too late now. The words she’d just read could never be forgotten – forgiveness never given. And she should never, never, NEVER have told Carla the truth about her birth.

  The letter slipped through her fingers to join the other piece of paper on the table as Josette stood up in a vain effort to try and calm herself, control her heart palpitations. Amelia’s letter had opened a Pandora’s box full of sad, unhappy thoughts that would stay forever in Josette’s mind, blotting out everything else. There was no way now the past could be pushed back and the box closed, ever again.

  Part III

  39

  Josette dialled Gordon’s number and prayed as it clicked through, ‘Please, please answer.’ But it went straight to voicemail. She took a deep breath. ‘I need to see you and talk to you desperately. Something awful has happened. Please come.’

  Two minutes later, a text pinged in:

  On my way.

  Josette heaved a deep sigh of relief. She spent the next half-hour alternating between pacing up and down, re-reading the letter and trying not to cry. Wishing Gordon would arrive. She sprang to answer the knock on the cottage front door the second she heard it.

  ‘I would have been here before, but I was in Villeneuve Loubet,’ Gordon said. ‘What’s happened? It’s not Carla, is it?’

  Josette shook her head. ‘No. I was about to write to Mario and give him various reasons why we couldn’t turn the clock back fifty years. That I couldn’t be in his life the way he wanted. And then,’ she took a deep breath. ‘I opened a package Carla had brought over for me after Amelia died. This is what I found,’ and she handed him the letter. ‘Read it and tell me what I do now please.’

  Josette,

  Sorry, I’m not going to address you as My Dear Sister, because quite honestly I’ve not thought of you in that way for a number of years.

  I was so happy when you gave us Carla to adopt and we became a real family again for several years. I loved her dearly, as did Robert (ironically, Robert never lost that love). As she grew up though, we started arguing over when to tell her she was adopted and that you were her true mother, like we originally promised you. Robert argued against it for years, saying she’d only ask who her father was and he was reluctant for that to happen, saying we didn’t know the answer. Only he did, didn’t he? The rows increased and finally Robert yelled the truth at me one horrendous night, that he was Carla’s father because you and he had slept together just the once.

  I didn’t believe him at first. I swore at him my sister would never betray me in that way. He said he’d never intended it to happen, but when you fell pregnant it seemed providential as I couldn’t have any more children and you were in no position to keep a baby. Carla being Robert’s meant that we’d at least have a child who was blood related. I slowly accepted the wisdom behind his reasoning but could never bring myself to forgive either of you. The betrayal gnawed away at me for years until I decided I wanted proof and I organised a DNA test. The result of which I’ve never disclosed to anyone until now.

  The naked truth is this (see what I did there?), Robert may have slept with you, but he was not Carla’s father. I have no idea who her father is but would guess at the Italian you were infatuated with at that time, Mario somebody or other, I’ve forgotten his surname.

  You, my husband and, I guess, our parents connived in the decision to ruin my life by plotting together to make me bring up a child that wasn’t Robert’s so you could preserve your reputation. I know you loved Carla from the moment you gave birth, in the same way I loved Bobby. By breaking off your ‘aunt’ contact and depriving you of involvement in our lives, I wanted you to feel something of the pain felt when a child you love dies.

  I have never forgiven you for the deception and leaving this letter for you to read after my death is deliberate – you finally get to deal with the consequences of your action when you tell Carla the truth that neither of the people she believes to be her parents are and that her whole life has been based on a lie. I wonder how she’ll react. I hope she hates you as much as I did.

  Amelia.

  Gordon looked at Josette. ‘That was one bitter and twisted woman,’ he said, putting the letter down on the table and drawing Josette close to hold her in a tight hug.

  ‘Carla told me when we talked about me being her mother that at least the one constant in her life now was the fact that Robert, who she adored, was still her father. And now I have to tell her he isn’t. She’ll be shattered.’

  Josette closed her eyes and struggled to stop shaking. Amelia was right, of course. Mario had to be Carla’s father – he was the only other man she’d slept with at the time. An image of a young Mario flitted into her mind. How could she not let the older Mario back into her life now? Not only had she walked away from him, she’d unknowingly deprived him of his child.

  ‘Did you ever think Mario could be the baby’s father?’ Gordon asked gently.

  ‘No.’ Josette shook her head. It had never occurred to her that the baby could possibly be Mario’s – they’d always taken precautions because she’d been determined she wouldn�
��t end up like Amelia, pregnant before she married. At the time, she’d taken for granted that Robert had to be the father of the baby because of that one brief unprotected mistake. Learning the truth after all these years, knowing that she could have kept the baby, secure in the knowledge that Mario would have stood by her, was heartbreaking. For everyone concerned.

  ‘Not only am I going to have to tell Carla that Robert wasn’t her father after all, but I’m also going to have to tell Mario about her. And knowing Mario, he’s sure to want to meet her.’

  ‘Carla will have to agree to that. Maybe she’ll decide she doesn’t want to,’ Gordon said. ‘The first thing you do is tell Carla, then, depending on her reaction, you either tell Mario or you don’t. At least for the time being.’

  ‘Don’t you think he has the same right to know that Carla has?’

  ‘Yes, eventually, but right now Carla is the vulnerable one. She’s had a tough year already. The woman she thought for fifty years was her mother dies, her marriage falls apart, her aunt turns out to be her natural mother, and she’s also moved countries,’ Gordon said softly. ‘She needs more time to adjust and acclimatise to the new order of things. Don’t forget the twins in all this either.’

  ‘I could, of course, keep quiet about everything,’ Josette said. ‘Write my own letter and leave it for them to find when I’m gone. Or would that make me a coward?’

  ‘Yes, it would and you know it’s not the answer. Talking of letters, did you say you were writing to Mario to tell him there was no going back?’

  Josette nodded. ‘Mario did ask me if I thought things between you and me were serious and I told him they could be. I realised I didn’t want to jeopardise what you and I have for the sake of a resurrected dream that might or might not be true. I’m definitely living in the present with this. Even if it’s all a big nightmare at the moment.’ She glanced at him, still secure in the circle of his arms. ‘I honestly can’t imagine living the rest of my life without you in it.’

  ‘You don’t have to. I fully intend to be at your side.’

  ‘Will you come with me when I talk to Carla?’

  ‘If you want me to,’ Gordon said without hesitation. ‘When d’you want to go?’

  Josette bit her lip and said. ‘No time like the present.’

  40

  The weekend of her birthday had thrown up some confusing emotions in Carla regarding Joel. Since ‘that dance’, she’d seen very little of him as he’d been busy working, but he’d said he’d be home early tonight and she was looking forward to having supper on the terrace with him. She was pleased that he was picking up more clients for his gardening business now that he had decided to go it alone but missed him when he worked late.

  He’d become such an integral part of her new beginning in France, slipping into her life unobtrusively. She knew life without Joel living in the villa would have been a lot lonelier over the past few months. Visualising the place in the future without his presence in the garden, in the kitchen, was impossible. Selfishly, she found herself hoping it would be a long time before he found a place of his own and moved out.

  Carla had poured herself a glass of rosé to enjoy sitting on the terrace before starting to prepare supper, when Josette and Gordon arrived. The look on Josette’s face told her this was no ordinary social visit and she jumped to her feet.

  ‘What’s happened? Are you ill? You look terrible,’ she said, pulling out a chair for Josette. ‘Sit down. Tell me what’s wrong.’ She threw a worried glance at Gordon. ‘As long as nobody’s died, we can deal with it.’

  ‘Mario Grimaud came to see me today. He wanted to know why I hadn’t answered the letter you delivered?’

  Carla nodded. ‘I remember.’

  ‘I had lunch with him. We did a lot of catching up. When I got home, I knew what I was going to say to him. Basically, that there was no going back and the reasons. But then…’ Josette took a deep breath before taking an envelope out of her bag and holding it out to Carla. ‘Remember the package you brought me? I finally opened it today and there was a last letter from Amelia inside. I’m so sorry,’ she choked on her words. ‘It’s a horrible letter, but you need to read it.’

  Carla took the envelope and pulled out the letter. And once again felt her whole world shift on its axis as she read. Swallowing the nauseous feeling at the back of her throat, the colour drained from her face and her hand shook as she handed the letter back to Josette.

  She picked up her wine and downed it in one. ‘So, tell me – was she right? Is Mario Grimaud my father? Or was it someone else?’ Carla asked, shaking her head slowly in despair at Josette.

  ‘Mario was my first love. There was no other man in my life at that time.’ Josette could barely get the words out. ‘He and I were in love and planning to marry.’

  ‘And he doesn’t know?’

  ‘No. We thought you had the right to be told first.’

  ‘We?’

  ‘Gordon and I,’ Josette said. ‘We don’t have to tell Mario if you don’t want to.’

  ‘Why not? Is he likely to deny everything?’

  Josette shook her head. ‘No, he is more than likely to demand to meet you, and his grandchildren. To be part of your life from now on.’

  ‘What if I don’t want them involved?’

  ‘I doubt that will be an option if Mario learns of your relationship to him. He’ll insist on meeting you and the twins.’

  Carla looked from Josette to Gordon and back to Josette. ‘I think I’d like to be alone now. Would you leave please?’

  ‘Carla, please, we do need to talk about things,’ Josette protested, as Gordon took her arm.

  ‘I think Carla needs time to get her head around this,’ he said gently. ‘You can talk another day. Come on, let’s do as Carla asks.’

  Josette sighed. ‘D’accord, I will leave you, but please believe me when I say how deeply sorry I am for all the pain I’ve caused and am causing. Believe me, if I’d known Mario was my baby’s father all those years ago, the lives of everyone concerned would have been so different. So different.’

  Gordon silently handed her a handkerchief as the tears fell before putting his arm around her shoulders. The look he gave Carla was full of sympathetic compassion for her as he gently led Josette away.

  Carla watched them go before her primeval scream of sheer despair rang through the air and she collapsed in a flood of tears. Her marriage was finished, the people she’d known as her parents were dead, her aunt was her mother and now some unknown Italian turned out to be her father. The twins were the only people she knew with absolute certainty she could claim as her own family. Everything else she’d held dear for so many years had been destroyed.

  She was still sitting on the terrace absently stroking Leroy, who had curled up uninvited on her lap, when Joel came running out onto the terrace some twenty minutes later.

  ‘Carla, are you okay? Josette rang me.’

  Carla jumped. ‘I wasn’t expecting you home so early.’ Gently, she lifted Leroy up and held him in her arms as she stood up. ‘What d’you mean, Josette rang you?’

  ‘She said you’d had some devastating news and she was worried about you.’

  ‘She told you the truth there then,’ Carla said, placing the cat on the ground and starting to walk into the villa. Joel caught hold of her. ‘I haven’t started supper yet.’

  ‘Supper can wait.’ Joel hugged her tightly. ‘What’s happened? Talk to me.’

  ‘I will. But I need to be doing something. And I need another drink.’ Carla moved out of his arms and carried on walking.

  Joel followed her into the kitchen, watched her pour another glass of rosé and shook his head when she offered him one.

  Carla took a long drink and felt the alcoholic kick. Carefully, she placed the glass down on the work surface. Taking a couple of onions and green peppers out of the vegetable basket, she picked up a knife and began to attack them.

  ‘Pasta and vegetable sauce okay? I forgot to
take the mince out of the freezer.’ As Joel nodded, she said, ‘Amelia left a vile letter to Josette, which she read for the first time today. I can’t believe I delivered the bloody thing months ago when I first came over.’ She sighed. ‘You already know Josette is my mother, not Amelia. Now it turns out that Robert wasn’t my real father either, which, according to the letter, is why Amelia was so vile to Josette. And to me actually, for most of my life.’

  ‘So who is your biological father?’

  ‘Bruno’s uncle. Mario Grimaud. But he doesn’t know.’

  ‘Josette’s first love?’

  Carla nodded. ‘Yes. He came to see her today, which prompted her to open the letter from Amelia. Pass me a couple of carrots will you please.’

  ‘How is Josette?’ Joel asked quietly as he handed the carrots over.

  ‘Shocked and upset.’ Carla shrugged. ‘How can she be any other way? She knows the problem is all down to her behaviour fifty years ago when she did something that changed the course of several peoples’ lives. Plus the fact that everyone banished the truth from their memories – until now. Talk about the past coming back to haunt her.’

  ‘Des souvenirs chuchotés,’ Joel murmured.

  ‘Sorry, my French isn’t up to that. What does it mean?’ Carla asked, looking at him.

  ‘Whispered souvenirs. Whispered memories from the past, if you like.’

  Carla nodded. ‘Ones that would have been better staying hidden if you ask me.’ As she hacked the carrots into small pieces, Carla said. ‘For years I considered my family to be the most boring unit on earth. And now look at us. We’re like a derelict building where the foundations have crumbled and all the faults are being exposed.’