‘I think he’d be really interested to hear about the otter Maria told me you saw, though.’
Brady didn’t look convinced. He just turned his head, and Jake could only categorise his expression as wary. It cut, deeper than Jake might have thought.
Over Brady’s head, Flávia was dipping her head, clearly suggesting he say something. Jake wasn’t certain what that something was, so he took a guess.
‘I really would like to hear,’ he managed, and her rewarding smile really shouldn’t have made him feel quite so proud. Like a kid in class getting a coveted gold star from the teacher. Nonetheless, it emboldened him. ‘Mate?’
Jake wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Whether he’d thought perhaps that Brady would see right through his feeble attempt to connect, and scorn him for it. Or had he just thought that Brady would refuse to respond?
Too little, too late.
Either way, it wasn’t the flash of pleasure which shot through the boy’s eyes, dissipating the first little bit of wariness.
‘Really?’
‘Sure.’ He made himself smile at his nephew. It wasn’t that hard.
‘Okay, we saw a neotropical otter—or lontra longicaudis.’
‘Wow.’ Jake nodded enthusiastically, hoping it was the appropriate response.
A triumphant grin pushed a little more of the wariness off Brady’s face.
‘It’s amazing, isn’t it? The neotropical otter is on the “threatened” list in the Red List of endangered Brazilian fauna.’
‘I did not know that,’ Jake answered, relieved that he hadn’t simply offered to take Jake to the zoo the moment they got home to see the otters there.
‘They usually avoid areas with high human traffic—it disturbs them.’ Brady was warming up to the topic now. ‘But they like high riverbanks to avoid floor issues, and lots of vegetation to provide coverage and protection.’
‘I see.’
Was his chest actually swelling at hearing the happiness in his nephew’s voice? The passion? The way that Flávia did when she talked about the rainforest. Or the way that he felt about his own career.
How had he missed this in Brady before? How had he dismissed the boy as a kid who had nothing really relevant to say? No wonder he hadn’t been able to connect with Brady.
If it hadn’t been for Flávia, he might never have seen a possible way to do so now.
If it wasn’t too late.
He could imagine his sister talking to Brady one to one. Taking him on her own version of Eduardo’s adventure trail. Helen had always been more like Flávia’s family than like their own detached parents. Than like himself.
‘Want to know what we saw in the jungle?’ Flávia opened her eyes wide, her voice already painting a picture that had Brady spinning around in anticipation.
‘What?’
And then his nephew’s gaze turned on him as Flávia glanced over Brady’s head expectantly, and Jake felt lost all over again.
‘What did you see?’ Brady repeated.
‘We saw a Brazilian wandering spider.’
‘Wow!’ Brady breathed, awestruck.
‘But there’s something even more incredible, isn’t there, Jake?’
Realisation hit him. Hard.
‘Oh, no,’ he balked. ‘I really don’t think a seven-year-old—’
‘I do,’ Flávia cut in firmly. ‘I really do. Trust me, he’s a boy. But first, Brady, can you tell me anything about the Brazilian wandering spider?’
‘Well.’ He frowned, deep in thought. ‘They’re quite big spiders. Brown and hairy, and they’re called wandering spiders because they don’t build webs like other spiders, but they hide under logs and stuff in the day, and then at night they come out and wander the jungle floor looking for prey.’
‘Do you know what they eat?’ she asked.
‘Um...insects? Mice? Maybe other spiders?’
‘Right.’ Flávia nodded. ‘Know what other insects come out at night? I’ll give you a clue—they build living fortresses, known as bivouacs.’
‘Army ants!’ Brady shouted out.
‘Well done, mate,’ Jake praised as Flávia gesticulated wildly over his head. ‘So, did you know that army ants send out thousands of ants at a time to hunt prey?’
‘Yes.’ Brady eyed him, unimpressed. ‘They’re called raids. And by the way, there are about two hundred subspecies of army ants.’
‘Well, we saw army ants and a wandering spider come face-to-face.’
‘Wow!’ Jake had hoped to capture Brady’s interest, but he hadn’t been prepared for the level of attention his nephew was now directing at him. ‘Did they battle? Who won? Was it incredible?’
‘Ultimately, the spider—’
‘We’d love to hear who you think might win a battle like that,’ Flávia cut in swiftly, and belatedly Jake realized he needed to prolong the moment, and get himself and Brady to engage with each other on a level that his nephew would love.
‘Hmm.’ Brady knitted his forehead together. ‘Well, I think that the army ants are fearless and fierce. They can inject venom to paralyse their prey using a stinger, and they have sharp mandibles which cut insects and crush them. They could tear the legs off the spider.’
‘Yeah, we saw how ruthless they are.’ Jake nodded, trusting that Flávia knew what she was doing and it wasn’t going to give Brady nightmares.
Then again, with everything he’d been learning about the boy lately, he was beginning to realise that whilst the human world may hold painful experiences for his nephew, Brady could cope far better with the concept of survival in the natural world.
‘The wandering spider has the most potent venom of any spider, though. It even kills humans. The spider would have to win over the ants, wouldn’t it?’
‘Yeah, I thought that, too,’ Jake agreed. ‘But actually, when we watched, we saw the sheer number of ants overcome the spider, and they ended up taking it down within minutes.’
‘That’s so cool,’ Brady enthused. ‘I wish I could have seen that. Can you take me into the jungle next time, Uncle Jake? Please? I know Flávia will look after us.’
Jake hesitated. He wanted to agree, especially because he was starting to understand why it meant so much to the kid. But he needed time. He wouldn’t be rushed into it. The objective was to bond with Brady, true; it had to be the responsible thing to do. And right now, he couldn’t be certain that agreeing wasn’t just him leaping at the opportunity to spend more time with Flávia.
With each day that passed, his return to London got closer, and yet with each moment spent with Flávia, it was getting harder and harder to imagine his old life back in the UK.
He didn’t want to imagine it. And he knew, without Brady even having to say a word, that his nephew felt the same. Which was, ironically, some sort of progress.
But Jake couldn’t shake the ridiculous notion that progress meant nothing without that one, unique woman.
He felt tied up in one of her friction hitch knots. He knew there was an easy release, but if he pulled the wrong way he’d end up bound tighter than ever.
‘I honestly don’t know, mate,’ he answered, and this time, it didn’t feel so odd using the nickname. ‘I can’t promise you that we will, but I can promise you that I will seriously think about it.’
And even though Brady sulked, he realised that he didn’t feel as guilty, or as lost, as he might have done in the past. He was setting appropriate boundaries and he was sticking with them, the way Flávia had told him he ought to do.
He noticed that Flávia was deliberately staying out of it, and he was grateful for her tact, even if a part of him wondered if she would have handled it differently.
But then, to Jake’s surprise, Brady’s sulk lasted only a few seconds before he bit his lip and seemed to pull himself together.
‘I’m
sorry, Uncle Jake,’ he managed, delving into his bag and pulling out a sheet of paper. ‘Vovô Eduardo says he doesn’t like sulking. And Julianna says that I look like a baby. So I want to give you this.’
He looked down and saw the bird picture and it was as though someone had sat on his chest. It felt tight. Or full. Or both. Brady had never given him anything before, let alone one of his precious wildlife drawings.
This one was yellow and black, and whilst it might not be artist quality, it was nonetheless an impressive representation.
‘It’s a saffron-cowled blackbird,’ Brady qualified.
‘It’s really...very beautiful,’ Jake managed.
He tried to add something more but suddenly found it was impossible. His chest was swelling even more, and there was an unfamiliar ball lodged in his throat. It was almost a relief that Brady was turning to Flávia, his cheeks suddenly flushed, looking apologetic.
‘I was going to draw it for you,’ he mumbled an apology. ‘But I just thought that Uncle Jake might like it... Maybe for his office?’
‘I think it’s a really lovely gesture,’ she assured him, taking Brady’s chin in her hand and dazzling him with her brightest, most beautiful smile.
And Jake thought he was the only one who heard the slight thickness to her voice.
‘I’ll hang it on the wall for all my patients to see,’ Jake managed brightly at last, his chest now constricted, as though it couldn’t make up its mind how to feel.
Whatever he’d expected from this summer programme in Brazil, however he’d imagined it going medical-wise, he had never, in his wildest dreams, thought that it might improve his fractured relationship with his nephew. And he knew he had Flávia to thank for that.
‘Come out with me,’ he announced abruptly, the moment Brady had left to look for something—Jake realised belatedly that he hadn’t even been paying attention.
‘Sorry?’
Startled amber eyes flickered to his and something deep inside Jake shifted, and burned.
He had no idea what he was doing. In a couple of weeks, he and Brady would be gone. Back to England. Back to normal life. And yet here he was, proposing dates as though any relationship between him and Flávia actually had a future.
It was nonsensical. And still, he waited impatiently for her answer.
* * *
‘You’re taking me to the Theatro Municipal de São Paulo?’ she guessed the moment he ushered her off the subway.
‘I am,’ he confirmed. ‘You were born in this city, yet Maria told me that you haven’t been since you were about six.’
‘It wasn’t the rainforest,’ she quipped. ‘So you can hold your shock.’
She hadn’t intended to sound so sharp, but it was almost touching that he’d planned this out. Certainly, it was more than she’d been expecting, as if this...non-thing between them was more than just sex, and more than just Brady.
Just like yesterday morning, sitting in that café sharing breakfast with Jake and Brady. He was sharing more and more with her, first offering her glimpses of the secrets he held inside his head, and then almost inviting her in.
It was intoxicating to feel as though she was some kind of confidante to him. The only confidante he’d ever had. And it all felt so remarkably right. So easy.
Yet, wasn’t that what made it all the more dangerous?
It made her let her own guard down, and let him in. It made her forget that he would be leaving soon, but when she remembered, pain slammed into her, hard and painful. And given that she’d known the situation from the start, it had no right to do so.
No right whatsoever, a voice shouted loudly inside her head.
Only, it didn’t sound as angry as it was trying to. It just sounded frightened and lost, which made no sense. Everything should just go back to the way it had been before they met. Except that a part of her couldn’t even remember what that had been.
Didn’t want to.
‘I’m sorry,’ she apologised. ‘I didn’t mean it like that. It’s a lovely thought for a date. Really.’
Jake didn’t answer; instead he brushed a stray hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Excruciatingly tenderly. It was all she could do not to tilt her head and lean her cheek into the warmth of his palm.
‘I think you’ll love it, so trust me, okay?’
She nodded wordlessly. The insane part was that she did trust him.
Then, taking her hand in what felt like a ridiculously intimate gesture, he pulled her body into his and they walked along the street together until they turned the corner and the stone steps and glorious pillars of the theatro came into view.
They stood for a moment, drinking in the stunning architecture, until Flávia turned and realised he had been studying her instead.
‘Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?’
‘Thank you.’
She lowered her head, knowing she was blushing, but hardly even caring. With any other man, she might have been wary that it was a line. A thing to say. But she was quickly realising that, with Jake, he was too serious and too direct to feed a person lines.
If he told her she looked beautiful, it was because he thought she did. And because he said it, she didn’t let herself worry that she looked like some wild jungle creature. She simply believed him.
It should have rung an orchestra of alarm bells in her head. The summer programme was nearly over and he would be leaving soon. Letting herself get attached could only end in heartache. And yet, she was letting herself do precisely that.
Just as if a part of her hoped she might be able to change the inevitable by sheer power of thought.
If she had any sense, she would turn around and tell Jake Cooper that she was happy to be his colleague, his friend, but that this date could never lead anywhere.
Better still, she would make her excuses, turn around and leave. Back to her family, and her career, and all the things she could depend on.
‘Ready?’ he asked, holding out his arm.
And then, because she’d always been drawn to the most dangerous flames, Flávia turned her head to cast him her brightest smile, and she took his arm.
* * *
‘I loved that,’ Flávia exclaimed a couple of hours later as they exited their floor of the theatro and headed down one side of the sweeping, double staircase. ‘I didn’t think I would, but I did. So thank you.’
‘Such faith.’ Jake shook his head. ‘This way.’
‘Where are we going now?’
‘Another surprise,’ he told her. ‘I’m glad you liked the theatre. Maria told me you used to love this place when you all came here as a family. I guess I hoped it would bring back those happy memories.’
‘I don’t know about that, but I know it has created new happy memories, which stand strong all on their own.’
‘Are they that sad?’ he asked abruptly, the odd expression on her face gnawing into him. ‘Is that how you knew I needed to create positive memories with Brady so that he had some which didn’t all involve Helen?’
‘It’s slightly different.’ She shot him a smile, but it was too bright, too brittle, for Jake’s liking. ‘His mum died.’
‘As did yours.’ He frowned.
Flávia stopped. She twisted her head around to look at him.
‘What made you think that?’
‘You told me you understood exactly how he felt. You said that.’
‘I said I understood how he felt with regards to his passion for nature, and science. I never said my mum died.’
‘But she did, didn’t she?’
The silence was so leaden, so oppressive, that Jake was sure he’d stopped even breathing.
‘My mum didn’t die,’ Flávia gritted out when he’d almost given up hope of her speaking. ‘She walked out. Leaving my father to pick up the pieces for two d
evastated little girls.’
A complication of emotions twisted their way across her lovely face at that moment, and Jake wished he could take back every word. To have never reminded her of such pain. For the conversation never to have started.
But it had, and he needed to find a way through it.
‘Do you want to talk?’
‘No.’ Then, ‘Maybe.
‘My mother had never wanted to be a mother. She was a nurse, but I think she’d always wished she could have been a doctor.’
‘Why wasn’t she?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t think she ever wanted to have children, but then she met my father, fell pregnant and got married. She became a wife and mother and that was what her family expected of her. And as long as she moulded to those rules, everything was acceptable. The fact that she made a terrible mother seemed to be something everyone was prepared to overlook.’
He couldn’t explain what it was that made him want to...to be there for her.
‘Terrible, how?’
She wrinkled her nose and pulled her lips together as though she didn’t want to be telling him any of this, and yet somehow couldn’t help herself.
‘You once told me that your parents didn’t neglect you. They gave you time—as long as it was the topics they deemed important—but they didn’t show you emotion. Well, my mother did neglect us.’
‘You and Maria?’ Jake asked gently as Flávia swallowed.
‘Right. My...our...mother only ever really acknowledged us if it gave her a way to blow off some steam, you know, vent her frustrations? And I gave her plenty of excuses to do so.’
‘You?’
Flávia shrugged, as though trying to ward off the terrible memories.
‘My sister told you I got into fights in school, right? Ironically, I hated the fights at home so I would constantly sneak out of the house. I’d just creep into the edges of the forest so that I could see the animals, and I’d stay there for hours watching them. It infuriated my mother.’
‘Could she perhaps have been concerned?’ Jake asked carefully. He, of all people, knew better than to sit in judgement. ‘Frightened for you?’
Falling For The Single Dad Surgeon (A Summer In São Paulo Book 2) Page 13