Zero Regret

by Autumn Jones Lake

  “So far.”

  The front door opens and slams shut. Shadow strolls in, surveying the clubhouse for a few seconds before his gaze lands on Z.

  “Aw, bro,” he hollers as he strolls over. “Your girl Stella was visiting Sway again and asking ‘bout you.”

  I narrow my eyes at the one brother who gives me the creeps every time I’m in the same room with him. Unsure how much trouble it would cause, I didn’t tell Z about Shadow’s creepy comments or how he touched my ass.

  Z’s arm tightens around my shoulders. “This is my only girl, brother. So, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

  Shadow covers his mouth and laughs. “This ain’t no girl. This is a woman. Hello, again.” He holds out his hand.

  I glance at Z. Is this guy for real?

  “This is my old lady, Shadow. I’m pretty sure you’ve already met her several times.” Z’s venom-laced voice should send a shiver down the spine of anyone with a brain. Shadow apparently lacks any useful gray matter between his ears because he shrugs.

  Instead of taking his outstretched hand, I wiggle my fingers in hello. “Lilly.”

  “You do movies too?” he asks.

  “Are you fucking dense, bro?” Z sits forward, catching Shadow’s attention.

  “Our side-business.” Rooster leans over the arm of his chair to explain. “We bankroll a few independent movie studios.”

  “Porn,” Shadow clarifies, butting into our conversation. “Some of the filthiest fucking you can imagine.”

  I roll my eyes. “I doubt that. I have a pretty good imagination.”

  Z rumbles with laughter and squeezes my leg. I don’t bother looking at Shadow to gauge his reaction.

  “Is producing porn still lucrative?” I ask, because really, Z’s club produces pornos? Why not? Upstate owns a strip club. Producing pornography seems like the next logical business venture.

  “Depends on the talent,” Shadow says, leering at me again. “MILF porn is huge right now.” He shifts his smirky face in Z’s direction. “Prez, you’re sitting on a gold mine with this one.”

  Z stands and pushes into Shadow’s space. I can’t hear exactly what he says to his VP, but it’s definitely not friendly.

  Not sure if I should be insulted or flattered, I mull over the MILF comment while pulling my top a little higher to cover any exposed cleavage.

  “Shadow has that effect on a lot of ladies,” Jigsaw whispers to me. “I got a Hefty bag around here somewhere, if you want it.”

  Appreciating his attempt to lighten things up, I laugh at the offer. “Thanks.”

  Z succeeds in chasing Shadow away and takes his place next to me again.

  Murphy joins us. “What’s everyone doing hanging out here?”

  “Telling Lilly about our porn studio,” Rooster says helpfully.

  Murphy perches on the arm of the couch. “Lucky Lilly.”

  Jigsaw leans forward and taps Teller’s knee. “How you feeling, brother?”

  “Better.”

  Murphy nods at Teller, then leans over to nudge Z. “Since we’re already talking about it, do we have an issue with Stella visiting Sway this much?”

  Z glares at him. “No.”

  Something about the guys discussing this woman in my presence really seems to irritate Z. I blink and stare down at his hand, absently rubbing my leg. His phone vibrates and he pulls it out, checking the text before sticking it back in his pocket without answering.

  The movement reminds me of the girl who kept calling Z when he first moved into my house. The girl I saw him with in the parking lot of Crystal Ball. He said they were over.

  Are they?

  It hits me that she looked familiar. At the time, I was too jealous to worry about who she was, but now I finally put it together.

  “Wait a second. Your ex—”

  Z groans. “She’s not my ex.”

  Ignoring his attempt to avoid this subject, I press on. “The girl I saw you with is Stella. the porn star, author, and aerial artist? That Stella?” Why didn’t I figure that out sooner?

  By the way he glances to the side, I think Z might actually be embarrassed. Sure, dating a porn star is probably a fun story for his biker brothers. A totally different experience to tell your future wife.

  Lucky for Z, I’m not like most women. And I definitely see the irony of the situation.

  The rest of the brothers stop and stare, waiting, I think, to see if I’m going to blow up.

  Uncontrollable laughter bubbles up inside of me instead and I slap my hand over my mouth in an effort to hold it back.

  “Why are you laughing?” Z frowns.

  When my breathing finally evens out and I think I can talk without bursting into more giggles, I answer, “It makes perfect sense.”

  Nope, I’m not done laughing.

  His jaw ticks as he waits for me to settle down. “How so?”

  “Well,” I say slowly, drawing out the word to mess with him, “You have a porn-sized dick so of course you’d date a porn star.”

  The expression on his face is too much. I fall back against the couch, laughing until my eyes water.

  The guys groan.

  “You could’ve kept that to yourself,” Rooster says.

  Ignoring everyone else, Z braces his hands against the back of the couch and leans down over me, staring into my eyes. “I thought you’d be mad,” he says in a low voice. “Maybe disgusted. I did not think you’d find it so funny.”

  I reach up and press my palms to his cheeks, pulling him down for a kiss. “I’m not mad,” I whisper.

  “Obviously.”

  Maybe he’s miffed by my outburst? But come on. It’s ridiculous. Do I love thinking about Z with some porn star? Not at all. From what I remember, she’s gorgeous. Younger than me. Probably cellulite and stretchmark-free. Flexible.

  Okay, that’s enough.

  Whatever she and Z were doing before I moved back to New York wasn’t significant. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have dropped everything to be with me.

  So, no, I’m not going to waste a lot of effort worrying about his ex.

  The porn star.

  I snort-giggle again and Z brushes his lips against my forehead.

  “Guys,” Jigsaw says. “We don’t need visual proof of Z’s giant porn-sized dick. We’ll take your word for it.”

  “Uncomfortable,” Rooster sings.

  Without taking his eyes off me, Z shows them his middle finger.

  “I never.” He meets my eyes again. “I didn’t make any films with her. You don’t have to worry about our kids being embarrassed in school one day or something.”

  My heart squeezes. Porn star exes or not, this sweet, sweet man is too good to be true sometimes. “It wouldn’t matter to me if you did.” I lean up and kiss him again. “Are you with me now? Are you and your porn-sized dick one hundred percent mine? That’s all I care about.”

  “You’re the only woman I want.” His mouth twitches. “I don’t know why since you enjoy poking fun at me so damn much.”

  “I don’t care about her or anyone else you were with before. As long as you’re mine now.”

  “Now.” He kisses my cheek, trailing down my neck. His rough hands skim up my legs. “And forever. Don’t forget that part,” he murmurs.

  “I won’t.”

  “Awww, are they couple goals or what?” Jigsaw shouts.

  “If couple goals means absolutely nauseating, then yes,” Teller says.

  Jigsaw snorts. “Look who’s talking. The one with the smoking hot redhead who comes down almost every weekend to fawn over him.”

  Teller glares at him. “Her name is Charlotte, dickface. You know what? Never mind. Don’t ever look at my old lady again.”

  “Hey, that’s an improvement.” Rooster reaches over and slaps Jigsaw on the back. “Usually he calls her ‘that chick who’s way out of Teller’s league.’”

  “I call her that too,” Murphy adds.

  I can’t help laughing harder. “We
ll, from what I hear, Charlotte calls him her platinum-tongued sex god.”

  The guys groan, then howl with laughter while I catch Teller’s eye and wink at him. He leans over and gives me a fist-bump.

  “Speaking of girls out of your league,” Jigsaw turns his mischief-making face on Murphy.

  “Don’t do it,” Teller warns. “His old lady is my baby sister.”

  Murphy grins and shrugs. “I love her anyway.”

  “So,” I interrupt before they continue picking on each other. “Why are two eligible, single bikers hanging out with a bunch of spoken-for brothers?”

  “Good wingmen.” Jigsaw nods at Z. “Our prez’s pretty boy face lures in the ladies.” He shifts his finger in my direction. “Then you can get out your claws and scare them right into my lap.”

  “I thought I was your wingman?” Rooster says.

  “No, you’re a distraction. The ladies always want to pet your dumbass beard.”

  Rooster pats his fluffy cheeks. “My beard is awesome. Ladies love riding it.”

  Everyone groans.

  My gaze swings between Jigsaw and Rooster. “I don’t think either of you need help drawing in the ladies.”

  Z raises an eyebrow at me, but I ignore it.

  Jigsaw traces a diagonal line from the top of his forehead to his right eyebrow. “The scar scares ‘em away.”

  I sit forward and study the faint, jagged line he’s pointing out. “I wouldn’t have noticed if you didn’t point it out.”

  “See, it’s like I keep saying. It’s your annoying personality that scares women away. Not your ugly face,” Rooster says.

  “You look like a badass. Girls like that,” I assure him.

  Jigsaw grins. “I guess I’ve had plenty want to kiss my booboos better.”

  “All right. That’s enough of that,” Z says, standing and taking my hand to pull me up off the couch with him. “My old lady doesn’t need to hear this.”

  “But we do?” Teller says.

  Z presses up tight against my back, slipping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. “I want to do a lot of filthy things to you tonight.”

  Worried his brothers can hear us, I let out a nervous laugh. “Why?”

  “Are you looking for a more complex answer than ‘you make my dick hard every time I look at you?’” he whispers against my ear.

  The timbre of his voice as he admits the level of control I have over him releases a wave a desire. Every inch of my skin hums with anticipation.

  “I thought you were mad about me laughing at your wild love life?”

  He snorts. “I can never stay mad at you for long, Siren.”

  The other guys continue harassing each other and Z eases me closer to the bar so we’re alone.

  All teasing fades from his expression “I should’ve said something sooner.”

  My heart skips. What exactly is he trying to confess? “About what?” I croak.

  “Jesus, nothing bad.” He leans in and runs his hands up and down my arms. “Yes, I was seeing her for a while.”

  “Stella?”

  His face twists as if he hates hearing the name. “Yes. We were never serious or anything.”

  “Okay.”

  “I wasn’t lying. When you came back, I ended it with her.”

  “Why? We weren’t really together.”

  “Come on, Lilly. I warned you I wouldn’t let you get away again. Anyway, she was pissed at me.”

  “So, she had feelings for you?”

  His eyes widen and he holds up his hands. “Not that I ever knew of. Trust me.”

  “So, you had feelings for her?”

  “Nothing real.” He looks me in the eye. “I know the difference now.”

  How can he make my heart squeeze at the same time he’s telling me about his ex?

  “What are you trying to say, Z?”

  He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Like they said, she works with the club. Her company is more Sway’s pet project—”

  “And he let you date her?” I ask with wide eyes.

  “I’m sure he wasn’t thrilled. Can I finish?”

  “Please do.”

  He shakes his head and I have a twinge of guilt for messing with him when he’s trying so hard to tell me whatever it is he thinks I need to know. “I’ve run into her at the hospital when she’s visiting Sway. I’ll probably have to deal with her at some point while I’m in charge down here.”

  I shrug. “Okay?”

  “Once Sway’s out of the hospital, hell, maybe before then, I don’t know, it’s possible she’ll be here for some parties or whatever. I don’t want you—”

  “Z, I appreciate the warning. But—and don’t take this the wrong way—”

  “Jesus,” he mutters and shakes his head.

  I place my hand on his arm to soften my words. I’m really not trying to be a bitch about this. “I’m going to guess that more than a few bunnies who hang out here have enjoyed your company at one time or another?”

  He grits his teeth. “It’s possible,” he concedes.

  “Stella was more than just a bunny to you, though?”

  “Sort of.”

  “We’ve talked about this stuff before. I meant what I said. My own past is plenty colorful.”

  He narrows his eyes, a spark of possessiveness gleaming in their dark blue depths, but I continue anyway. “I honestly never expected to want to settle down and be with one guy, but you changed that for me.”

  One corner of his mouth lifts. “Keep going.”

  Arrogant man. I blow out a breath. “I want you. I understand that you come with all of this.” I circle my hand in the air, indicating the club. “The only way I’m going to be pissed about Stella, or any other bedmate of yours, is if it’s not in the past. My son will not be raised by a weak woman who lets her man humiliate her over and over.”

  “There’s no one but you.”

  “Good, because you should know I am not one of those women who will blame the other woman and start fights over you.” I move in closer and brush my hand against his crotch. “I am the kind of woman who will straight-up cut your dick off if you ever cheat on me.”

  I’m kidding, of course. Sort of. I do feel a tad murderous when I think of him with Stella or anyone else, though.

  Z stares at me.

  I smile up at him.

  He stares at me some more.

  I pat his cheek. “Good talk, Z. I’m glad we got all this out in the open.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Lilly

  Inside our room, Z strips me of my top and tosses it to the side. “Get those jeans off.”

  I work them down over my hips slowly and he groans. He’d requested tight jeans before, so I found a pair of skinny jeans I hadn’t worn yet. Now I remember why. They’re like a damn second skin. I’m trapped and getting them off the rest of the way isn’t remotely sexy.

  Z pushes me back against the mattress and tugs the material down my legs. “Need some help, Siren?”

  “I guess so.”

  I sit up and he tries pushing me back down. But I slide out of his grasp and off the bed, landing on my knees.

  He stares down at me with a smile playing over his lips. “What are you doing down there?”

  “Whatever I want.”

  In a swift move, he slides his hands in front of his groin, shielding himself from me. “I don’t know if I want you so close to my dick. You threatened to cut it off a few minutes ago.”

  I play with the button of his jeans, tugging it out from under his iron grip. “Only if you cheated on me.”

  “That’s not happening.”

  “Then you’re perfectly safe.”

  He moves his hands and I flick the button loose, and carefully ease his zipper down.

  I kneel up and wrap one hand around his monster of a cock. “So damn hard. Impressive.” I hold his gaze while I swoop in and circle the head with my tongue.

  He hisses in a sharp breath. “I’m always co
cked and loaded around you.”

  I chuckle and flick my tongue over the tip.

  “Fuck. Do that again. Jesus, that’s amazing.”

  “Well, I’m no porn star, but—”

  “Uh-uh.” His serious tone stops my hand mid-stroke. He leans down and presses a finger to my lips. “No jokes about that. Not here. This is just us now.”

  Z

  I swear my legs still won’t work right. “You broke me, woman,” I tease Lilly as she gets dressed.

  She grins over her shoulder.

  “Come back here.”

  “Are you planning to get dressed or do you want to show off your porn-sized dick to everyone tonight?”

  I rub my hand over my face and try not to laugh. “Thanks for that. I’ll never live it down.”

  She fake-pouts at me. “Oh, poor Z. The other boys are gonna make fun of you for having a big dick.”

  “Get over here.” I grab her hand and yank her down on top of me.

  My fingers tangle in her hair and I drag her down for a long kiss. She pulls away and stares down at me. “Come on. The club needs to see more of their president’s face tonight.”

  “Their president needs his woman.”

  “You just had me.”

  “You think I’m an asshole because I’d rather be in here with you than out there running my club?”

  “What? No. Christ, Z. You’re pretty much running the club twenty-four seven. Of course, you need time to yourself.”

  I lean up and kiss her again. “Thank you.”

  She sits up and trails kisses down my chest, over my abs, a little lower, then she stops and kneels next to my legs. “You’ll get more of that later.”

  I groan and roll out of bed, snagging my jeans off the floor. She glides over to the closet and pokes through the few dresses and things she keeps stored here. “You planning to wear something else?”

  She shrugs.

  “Everyone will think we came down here to fuck.”

  “Like they don’t already know.”

  Maybe fifteen minutes later, we’re heading back to the party. It’s definitely gotten louder and rowdier since we left.

  Murphy and Teller are over by the bar so I head to them first. Not before noticing Jigsaw and Suds tag-teaming an eager club girl over the pool table.