Zero Regret

by Autumn Jones Lake

  “Anyone ever actually use that thing for pool?” I ask as I approach the bar.

  Hustler overhears my question and shrugs. “That table probably has more STDs than a truck-stop whore.”

  “Lovely,” Lilly murmurs so low only I hear her.

  I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back.

  “You two look miserable.” I lift my chin at Teller, then Murphy. “Why not head home? Things are cool here.”

  Murphy’s actually looking past me and I’m not sure he even heard my question. His jaw locks. “He’s such a fucking asshole.”

  Teller follows his line of sight. “Are you joking? What, are you jealous?”

  “Fuck no.” He shoves Teller. “Doesn’t mean I want him hurting any of the girls here, though.”

  We all glance over to where Murphy’s focused.

  “Oh, shit. You’re right,” Teller mutters.

  Yeah, Murphy has a point, all right.

  Shadow has one slab-sized hand wrapped around Serena’s forearm as he yanks her into the hallway. She digs her heels into the carpet and shakes her head. It only forces him to tug on her harder.

  When she curls her fingers around the corner of the wall, hanging on, I set down my beer.

  “Ow.” Her high whine rides over the noise in the clubhouse. People stare, but no one seems to want to do anything.

  In another MC, no one would think twice. An unpatched woman steps inside a clubhouse, she’s fair game. Serena’s been around here long enough that some of the guys feel entitled to use her as they see fit.

  That ends now.

  We don’t tolerate that bullshit in our clubhouse upstate. We don’t look the other way. No matter how precarious my situation is with downstate right now, I’m sure as fuck not standing by and watching any woman get hurt.

  “Z, what are you—”

  Lilly doesn’t even get her whole question out before I’m stalking across the room. It’s dark and the music’s loud enough that the only people who notice me are the ones I shove out of my way.

  “Shadow, stop. Please, no.” The distress in Serena’s voice propels me into action.

  “Let her go. Now.” My warning’s low, but I know he hears me by the way his body tenses.

  He doesn’t release her.

  I knew this wouldn’t go down easily. And that’s fine. I wrap my arm around Shadow’s throat and jerk him backwards into a choke hold until Serena’s able to free herself and stagger backwards.

  Turning, I lift my chin at Lilly and she reaches for Serena, pulling her away from us.

  Things are about to get ugly.

  “What the fuck you doing?” he mumbles with the last bit of air in his lungs.

  “She said no.”

  “So what?”

  Wrong answer.

  I spin him and slam his back against the wall. “Did she look eager to you?”

  “She always says no.” He snorts. “She likes it. Eventually.”

  I’m not stupid. I’m aware some couples enjoy playing that game with each other, but it’s pretty obvious that’s not the case in this situation.

  “Why isn’t she standing here defending you then?”

  “Huh? Who fucking cares?”

  “I care.”

  He twists and tries to free himself, but my hold on him can’t be broken.

  “That’s what she’s here for,” he whines like the weak little bitch he is. “Why are you making a big deal about a whore?”

  Christ, this motherfucker’s worse than I thought. I’ve run into plenty of guys over the years who think hurting a woman makes him a real man. Thinks it shows the world he’s in charge.

  A real man would rather cut off his own dick than hurt a woman. Any woman.

  “That’s not how I run things. If she’s not interested, find someone else who is.”

  “Fuck you. She ain’t patched by anyone.” He choke-laughs. “Ain’t ever gonna be patched by anyone.”

  As if being patched by this asshole would be some prize. “That’s not the point.”

  “You want her, have at her.” His gaze skips to the space behind me. “You already got a hot—”

  I cut him off by pressing my forearm against his windpipe even harder. “Don’t speak about my woman. Don’t even look at her.”

  “You got…no right…to interfere.” He gasps out each syllable.

  “No?” I tilt my head in Serena’s direction. “She’s under this club’s protection. I’m the president. That gives me the right. End of discussion.”

  By now, we’ve attracted a bit of attention. A couple guys form a half-circle around us. Lilly slowly backs up, taking Serena with her, and Teller moves them away from the scene.

  “No means no.” I raise my voice to make sure I’m heard by the other brothers. “Anyone who has a problem with that can leave their cut on the way out the door.”

  Rooster steps up beside me, arms folded over his chest, and stares Shadow down. “As it should be, Prez.” His deep, rumbling voice doesn’t invite discussion or disagreement.

  Shadow’s eyes widen. “What the fuck am I supposed to do? Have a bitch sign a form every time I want my dick sucked?”

  I slam his back into the wall. “I expect you to not act like a scumbag.”

  Again, I raise my voice. “This is a club for grown-ass men. Not a hideout for weak little boys. Real men do not hurt women. Period. Am I clear?”

  “With all due respect, Prez, she’s a clubwhore.”

  Scowling, I search the crowd for who uttered that bullshit. A younger brother, Tiny, I think, backs away under my glare.

  “She’s a friend of this club. No one under our protection loses the right to say no because they walk in our front door.” I look around the room. “If anyone has trouble grasping that simple concept, you’re not fit to wear Lost Kings colors. Leave your cut on my desk and get out. Now.”

  Jigsaw steps slightly away from the other brothers, the girl he was with earlier clinging to his arm behind him. “This shouldn’t even need to be said.” He glares at Tiny. “Why you looking so shocked, bro? You want to behave that way, go join the Vipers or a dozen other shitty MCs.”

  Tiny shrugs and glances away. “Sorry, Prez,” he mutters.

  Murmurs of agreement spread through the crowd, but I also note scowls on a few brothers’ faces. Maybe this wasn’t the best time for this demonstration, but fuck it. Waiting for a more convenient time, when I know a girl’s being taken advantage of, makes me as guilty as the rest of them.

  I shove Shadow once more. “Don’t make me have this talk with you again.”

  “Sure, Prez. Whatever you say goes.”

  Why don’t I feel convinced?

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lilly

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Serena keeps whispering as I take her down the hall.

  “Shh.” I push the door to one of the quieter lounges open. It appears to be empty and I close the door behind us. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Z didn’t have to do that for me. Shadow’s only going to be more pissed and take it out on me later.”

  I don’t bother asking why she keeps coming to the clubhouse or any of the dozens of other shitty questions I’ve had thrown at me in the past. Instead, I put my arm around her and offer support. “Did you want to be with Shadow?”

  “No.” She shakes her head. “He’s never really concerned with my wants. I mean, sometimes he can be nice. But that seems to be less and less often lately.”

  He’s never struck me as nice before, but I nod and ask if she wants something to drink instead.

  “Please.” She rubs her arm where a dark bruise is already forming. It matches one around her neck that’s visible when she pulls her hair back.

  This life…club life is so complicated.

  Teller opens the door and shuts it behind him. “Everything all right? You want Charlotte and me to give you a ride home, Serena?”

  “Will she mind?”

  “Not at all.�
��

  “Okay.” She stands and brushes off her jeans with shaky hands. Without warning, she pitches forward and hugs me tight. “Thank you, Lilly.”

  “Sure.” I squeeze her back. “Thank you for all your help this week.”

  The door opens again and Charlotte smiles brightly. “Are we staying or going?”

  “I’m going,” Serena says.

  Teller frowns. “You don’t have to. No one’s kicking you out.”

  “Oh.” Serena stops and stares at him, then me. “It’s probably better…I can help you clean up tomorrow, Lilly.”

  “Whatever you want. You have my number. Text me if you want to come over.” So I can make sure Shadow’s nowhere around. But I don’t say that. I’m not sure what Z’s going to do and I understand what an awkward situation this is for him.

  “I will.”

  Teller motions me forward and leans down. “Z doesn’t want you anywhere by yourself tonight. Let me take you to him before we go.”

  “Okay.”

  Charlotte and Serena wait by a side door while Teller and I return to the main room. Things are calmer now. Everyone’s gone back to having a good time. Shadow’s nowhere to be seen. Z’s in the middle of the room, surrounded by brothers and he lifts his hand when he sees me, calling me over. Teller pats my back. “Tell him I’ll be back as soon as I drop Serena off.”

  “Will do.”

  I blow out a breath and try to appear as confident and unruffled as possible as I make my way to Z. Weakness won’t cut it tonight.

  I force my lips into a calm smile as I approach Z and take his hand. Instead of sitting next to him, I plant my ass firmly in his lap and he slips his arms around my waist without stopping his conversation.

  Tension lingers in the air, but there’s also a feeling of relief.

  The party’s almost gone back to normal when Shadow storms through the room.

  The look he throws our way sends ice spiraling down my spine.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Lilly

  Normally, I’d spend the hour-long drive to Empire thinking over everything going on in my life. Today, I find singing along to the radio with Chance more entertaining.

  My GPS guides me to Furious Fitness and I’m a little surprised to see Hope made it here before me. She and Trinity are hanging out in the parking lot talking.

  “I’m so happy you’re here!” Hope shouts as she jump-tackle-hugs me.

  I can’t help laughing. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m happy to see you.”

  I wait while she pulls Grace out of the car. Chance sways back and forth, trying to get a peek at her.

  Grace lets out a hearty scream at being woken up.

  “I’m sorry, baby,” Hope coos to her.

  “Oh, boy. I don’t miss the screaming months,” I say.

  “She’s actually not that bad,” Hope says. “Just doesn’t like being woken up. Like me.”

  Trinity holds her arms out. “Let me see her. Hey, Gracie.”

  Mara pulls in next to my car and joins us. “Why are you all out here? Are we ditching the exercise thing to get drinks? Because there’s a really nice bar like two miles down the road.”

  Trinity laughs and shakes her head. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

  Mara fusses over Grace and bends down to say hi to Chance. Finally, we’re ready to go inside.

  Mara bumps Hope with her shoulder. “You just had to mention this to Damon, didn’t you? He’s so worried about me since I’ve been working longer hours.”

  Hope slings her arms around Mara’s shoulders and guides her inside.

  If I’m honest with myself, I should have done something like this years ago.

  “Hi ladies,” Wrath greets us at the front door. All polite and professional. I mean, he’s still a scary-ass, tattooed giant, but in this setting, he doesn’t seem as intimidating. Almost approachable. I suppose terrifying his customers would be bad for business.

  After greeting Trinity with a searing kiss, he messes with Hope, ruffling her hair in a familiar way, like she’s a five-year-old. She slaps his hands away and he laughs. It’s an odd sort of brother-sisterly scene. Unexpected, because of how mean she used to say he was when she first started dating Rock.

  Wrath holds his arms out for Grace. “You here to test out the new baby daycare room your uncle Murphy talked me into?” he asks, holding her up over his head.

  Hope snickers into her hand. “Murphy’s brilliant,” she mutters.

  “That’s a great idea, Mr. Wrath.” Mara gives him a sly smile. “Every mom in our neighborhood complains they can’t go to the gym because they have no one to watch the kids.”

  “I heard all about it.” He rolls his eyes. “Murphy hammered me when we were re-building. Problem is, I don’t want to hire some random college kid to watch the kids. It’s been a real pain finding someone qualified.” He turns and searches the room. “Murphy swears it will pay off eventually.”

  “Yeah, when he needs childcare for the baseball team of kids he plans to have,” Trinity says under her breath and grins.

  “Come on, let me show you around.” Wrath grins down at Hope. “I know you’re intimately acquainted with the locker room, but I’m going to give your friends a tour.”

  Hope’s cheeks turn red and she smack’s Wrath’s arm.

  Ignoring her, he hefts Grace up and kisses her cheek. “Did your mom tell you how you were almost born here?” His gaze lands on Chance and he lifts his chin. “You hiding out, little man? You remember me, don’t ya?”

  Chance looks up at me before answering, “Yes.”

  He holds out his hand to Chance. “Come on. You and Gracie can have a front row seat for the tour.”

  Eager to get near Grace, my son scampers forward to accept the invitation.

  “Swoon,” Mara sings, rolling her puppy eyes Trinity’s way.

  After the quick tour, Wrath leaves us in one of the larger classrooms covered with thick, squishy gym mats. Heidi and Charlotte pop in a few minutes later. We’re busy talking and catching up when a man joins us.

  “Hi, Jake,” Heidi calls out to the dark-haired stranger.

  “All right, ladies. Settle down.” Jake paces at the front of the classroom for a few beats, then stops and gives us a smile that probably drops panties for him every day of the week.

  “Wait, why isn’t Wrath teaching us?” I ask.

  “Because he’ll end up groping Trinity and we’ll have to watch. It’s better this way,” Hope says.

  “Shut up.” Trinity laughs and shoves Hope. “One time.”

  “Every time,” Hope mutters under her breath.

  I flick my gaze toward Jake, who’s watching us with an amused expression. He has player written all over him, but if Wrath trusts him with Trinity, then I guess the rest of us are safe.

  “Thanks for letting me try this class out on you, ladies. We’re going to work on escaping from various kinds of choke holds. If someone is choking you against your will—”

  Mara giggles.

  Jake zeroes in on her. “Ah, I see who the troublemaker is today. I figured it would be Heidi.”

  Heidi laughs and shakes her head. “Nope, I’m all ears.”

  “If someone’s choking you,” he continues after he has our full attention, “it doesn’t take long to knock you unconscious. After that…”

  Right. He doesn’t need to finish.

  “I want you to fight back.” He slams his fist into his open palm. “Do whatever you have to, get free and find help.”

  “How are we realistically supposed to get away from someone, say your size?” Hope asks.

  “Size isn’t the only thing that matters. And this is self-defense, so it doesn’t have to be pretty. Whatever you need to do to get away.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “I’m not going to go easy on you.” Jake seems to shed his fun, flirty guy exterior and gets down to business. “I don’t believe that benefits anyone. It’s a waste of both of our tim
e.”

  “Oh, shit,” Mara mutters. She pokes Hope. “What’d you get me into?”

  Jake curls his finger and calls Trinity up front. “I’ve worked with Trinity before, so she knows what to expect.” He jerks his head to the side and searches what he can see of the gym beyond this room. “And I think Wrath went out so he won’t kill me.”

  Trinity chuckles. “Bring it on, Wallace.”

  “So, we’ll start with something simple, a forward two-armed choke hold.” Jake strikes fast, wrapping his hands around Trinity’s neck. Instinctively, she grabs his forearms.

  “Now, Trinity’s a strong girl, right?” He releases her neck for a second and pats her triceps. That has to be a joke. His arms are the size of her head, muscles flex and bulge just standing there. He gives her a subtle nod as he places his hand back around her neck.

  She immediately grabs at his arms, trying to pull them away. Exactly what I wanted to do the minute he touched her.

  “This is your normal response,” Jake says. “Your first instinct—pull the attacker’s arms away, claw at them, pry them off.” He pauses. “She’s never going to overpower me this way. Nothing against, Trin, but she can’t do it in time.”

  “Kick him in the balls!” Heidi shouts.

  Jake squeezes his eyes shut and shakes with laughter. “She beat me to the next part.” He straightens up and is all business again. “Now, you’re probably thinking she should knee me in the groin, right?” He gives Trinity a warning look that makes us laugh.

  She grins at him. “I won’t this time.”

  I didn’t realize how fast my heart was racing until Trinity smiled and spoke. He’s not actually hurting her.

  “You can try that,” he says. “But you’re already at a disadvantage. If you miss, you might end up getting hurt worse.”

  Something similar had actually happened to me when I was a dancer. The long-forgotten memory makes me shiver. Back then, I shook it off. Figured working as a stripper, what did I expect to happen to me?

  “Instead,” Jake’s strong voice pulls me back into the lesson, “there are two things you can try. I prefer one over the other, but both can be effective and are targeting the same weakness.”