Miles Apart

by A. L. Brooks

  Rose, however, clearly had other ideas. Quietly commanding Justine to leave the supper dishes on the table, she’d taken Justine’s hand and led her over to the couch. The lights were already low, and the sounds of gentle, romantic piano music came from the small speakers on the far side of the room. Rose’s eyes had glinted with passion as she’d swept Justine into her arms, and before Justine could engage her brain to stop her, Rose’s mouth was travelling a moist path along Justine’s jaw and down to her neck.

  Rose moaned as her hands swept upwards to cup Justine’s breasts through the silk of her shirt. Justine gave it a few moments and tried so hard to feel something. Anything. One last test. But it just wasn’t there.

  Slowly, carefully, she pulled away.

  Rose looked confused, and aroused, which clenched at Justine’s insides. Oh God, this was not going to be easy. Not now.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m just not… I really like you, Rose, I do, but—”

  Rose held a hand up. “Please, don’t finish that sentence.” She shuffled backwards on the couch until there was distance between them. She sighed. “I thought you just needed time, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

  Justine briefly closed her eyes. When she opened them, Rose was staring at her, her arms folded across her chest.

  “Just tell me. Please.”

  “I don’t actually know why myself,” Justine said, knowing she was lying but unable to share the truth. She was hurting Rose enough already without bringing Alex into it. “We connect so well in so many ways, but the…physical is just not happening for me. I’m so sorry.”

  Rose gritted her teeth, and Justine wouldn’t have blamed her if she let rip. She’d take it. She’d kept Rose waiting so long; the woman had the patience of a saint.

  “I haven’t ever meant to lead you on, or make you think there was more between us than there is. I honestly thought it would come, the more time we spent together. But it just…hasn’t.”

  Rose exhaled. “If it’s not there, it’s not there, I suppose. For me, it has been since the first time we met. You’re a very attractive woman, Justine. I was willing to take things slow and give you all the time you needed. But time isn’t the issue, is it?”

  Justine shook her head. “Thank you, for what it’s worth. Thank you for your patience, and for not pushing.”

  Rose stood. “I like being with you, Justine. And maybe that’s something we could do in the future. But…not for a while. I need time now. Time to get over you. I’m afraid you had quite an effect on me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Justine whispered.

  “I’m sure you are.” Rose’s tone was hard, but Justine wasn’t going to protest. “I think you’d better leave.”

  Nodding, and knowing there was nothing else to say, Justine retrieved her coat and bag, stepped into her boots, and pulled open the front door.

  She didn’t look back as she left.

  Chapter 21

  “Hi, Justine, it’s Alex.”

  “Oh, hey. What can I do for you?”

  Straight to business. As usual. Alex let out a silent sigh. She wished Justine would relax with her, just for a moment. Just to give her some clue that this…infatuation wasn’t one-sided. Something, maybe simply wishful thinking, told her it wasn’t.

  “Well, I just wanted to say thanks for sending over the draft testing schedule.”

  “No problem. I thought it made sense to start putting something together sooner rather than later. I know you still have to sort out resources at your end.”

  “Yeah, and I might need to firm up some of the dates once I’ve talked to people here, but I’ll work on that and send you some amendments back once I’m done, okay?”

  “Perfect.” Justine’s tone was still briskly polite. Alex was desperate to put a dent in it, to push the boundaries on this call just a little.

  “So, how have you been?” She held her breath as she waited to see how Justine would respond.

  “Um, fine, thanks. You?” Justine sounded confused and hesitant.

  “You know, I’m not so bad actually. I don’t think I told you, but I have my own place now. I’ve been there about a month. It’s close to some good friends of mine, so it’s nice to have a support network nearby.”

  “That…that sounds really good.” Justine paused. Just as Alex was about to jump in, Justine continued. “I live quite near Sylvie and Christina. It helped a lot when Nadia and I split up.”

  Alex punched the air. They were talking. About personal stuff. The joy that gave her made her tingle all over. Never mind the effect Justine’s more relaxed, casual voice had on her. Her professional persona was admirable, but when she dropped the harder edge to her voice that she used for business dealings, something warm and delicious spread throughout Alex’s body. She couldn’t have held it back if she tried.

  “Yeah, I don’t know what I would have done without Danielle and Beth,” she said. Excited by their interaction, she pushed on. “I also started an art class a few weeks ago, which I’m really enjoying.”

  “Oh? Is this something new or have you always painted?” Justine still sounded a tad nervous, but at least she was engaging. Keep it going, please, Alex begged silently.

  “I really loved art at school,” Alex continued, “but haven’t done much with it since my twenties. I’ve really enjoyed getting back into it.”

  “Are you any good?” Justine’s cheeky chuckle gave bloom to an enormously wide grin on Alex’s face.

  “I’m not terrible,” she replied, laughing. “But I won’t be giving up my day job, let’s put it that way.”

  Justine outright snorted, and Alex’s heart leapt with glee at the sound.

  “So, what about you? Have you been cooking much? I remember you saying how much you enjoyed it.”

  Justine sighed quietly. “It comes and goes. I… Yeah, I just have to be in the mood, I guess. I like cooking for my friends. Cooking for one is sometimes too depressing.”

  “I know what you mean.” So she was still single. Alex parcelled that bit of information up and deposited it somewhere safe in the back of her mind.

  An uneasy silence crept between them.

  “Well, I’d better get back to it,” Justine said quietly. “Some of us still have a few hours left in the day.”

  Alex laughed, glancing at the clock on her laptop. It was only eleven in the morning for Justine. “Yeah, I’ll leave you to it. It…it was good to talk to you, Justine.” She tried hard to keep the emotion out of her voice, but it was difficult. Talking like this had given her an intense glow of happy satisfaction.

  “You too, Alex.” Justine’s voice sounded husky, hoarse almost. Alex quivered.

  “Catch up with you on the team call later this week.”

  “Sure will. Bye.” Justine hung up.

  Alex stared at the phone in her hand. While the end of the call had been abrupt, and she wasn’t sure what that was about, the previous few minutes had been…wonderful. And not only for the interaction with Justine. For Alex, to be that bold and free in pushing for something was uncharted territory. The changes she’d made in her life were giving her a confidence and courage to actively pursue the things she wanted, rather than the things she thought she ought to have. With the situation involving Justine, she had to acknowledge, that might not turn out to be the wisest move, but she didn’t care. It felt right, here and now, and she wasn’t going to hold back.

  She laughed at herself. She was acting like a teen with a silly crush. Shaking her head, she stood to walk to the break room. She felt like a teen with a silly crush.

  Justine stared at her phone as if it were a snake that might rise up and bite her. What the hell had just happened? How had they gone from super-professional to ultra-personal in the space of one phone call?

 
Not that she hadn’t enjoyed it. Quite the opposite, in fact. But it had just come out of the blue. And on the tails of the week she’d had—ending things with Rose—it had left her reeling. Although, she realised, not necessarily in a bad way. More like in a giddy, high-school, oh-my-God-I-think-she-likes-me kind of way.

  She snorted. This was crazy. Completely mad.

  But completely wonderful at the same time.

  Alex sounded as though she had really started to sort her life out since leaving her partner. That could only be a good thing. She sounded full of life and quietly excited about the opportunities it was presenting to her. Justine felt a warm glow on her behalf and smiled to herself. Good for her.

  The wave of sadness that swept over her in the next moment wiped the smile off her face. Alex was moving on, and as far as Justine could see, she had no way of accompanying Alex in that.

  She met Christina and Sylvie for dinner that night, back at Gabrielle’s, and filled them in on all that had transpired with Rose earlier in the week.

  “I am obviously not surprised, given what you told Christina on Sunday. But I am sad.” Sylvie rubbed a comforting hand down Justine’s arm.

  “I am too.” Justine puffed out a breath and slumped back in her seat. “Rose and I were so right in so many ways.”

  “But you weren’t, either, were you?” Christina said bluntly, eyebrows raised as if daring Justine to argue.

  Justine raised her hands. “I know, I know. Which is why I’m glad I ended it when I did. It was the right thing to do.”

  Sylvie nodded and drank from her wine. As she set her glass down, her lips pursed and her forehead creased into a gentle frown.

  “Go ahead,” Justine said, smirking half-heartedly. “Say what you need to say.”

  Her petite friend laughed and wagged a finger. “Okay, mind reader.” She took a deep breath. “I am worried you are now pinning all of your hopes on Alex. The long-distance option. And, therefore, the unlikely option.”

  Justine sat back in her chair. “What are you saying?”

  Sylvie shrugged. “That it is a very safe option to pine for someone who is unattainable, isn’t it? Love from afar is a clever way to avoid actually being involved.”

  “Ouch,” Justine said, staring at her. “Way to hit below the belt.”

  “I do not mean to hurt you, Justine. I am just expressing my concerns about what this latest turn of events means for the health of your heart.” Sylvie’s tone was firm but kind.

  “My heart,” Justine said, trying to rein in her frustration at life and not take it out on her friends, “is just fine, thank you.” She grabbed her glass and took a big swig of her wine. It burned the back of her throat in her haste, and she launched into a coughing fit.

  With Christina and Sylvie patting her wildly on the back, she scrabbled to reach her water glass, gratefully gulping down a few soothing mouthfuls.

  “You can stop hitting me now,” she mumbled as she cleared her throat one last time. “I’m okay.”

  Her friends chuckled as they pulled their hands away.

  “Are you really okay?” Sylvie asked. “And I do not mean the coughing.”

  Justine sighed. “Yes and no. Today Alex and I had a wonderful phone call. Out of the blue she turned it very personal, the first time she’s done that. And it was great.” She smiled in remembrance. “We laughed a little, shared some info about our lives. It felt…good. Real.” She looked at them, at the concern etched across their faces. “I know,” she said, smiling ruefully at them. “But I just can’t help it. I want her. And I don’t just mean sex. I want to be around her. Share things with her. Laugh with her. Really get to know her.”

  “She lives in London,” Christina deadpanned.

  Justine flopped in her chair, as if sucker-punched. “Yeah. I know.”

  “So do you own your apartment?” Alex’s voice was like silk caressing Justine’s ear.

  “Yes. Well, me and the bank. But it is mine to do with what I will. I love it.”

  “That’s great. I think it’ll take me a while to work out when and where I want to buy. I’ve still got stuff I need to sort out before I make that big a decision again.”

  “I can understand that.” Justine didn’t totally get what was happening between them, but she wasn’t going to stop it. Their calls—at least twice a week now—were rapidly becoming her drug of choice. Every time her phone rang, her heart rate spiked in anticipation of hearing Alex’s smooth tones. They had been talking like this for three weeks, sharing more, and laughing more, and Justine was struggling to remember there was no chance for them.

  God, how she wanted there to be.

  It was pure torture. Listening to Alex talk and joke and not being able to touch her, to kiss her, or simply to wrap her arms around her when she sounded a little low or unsure of herself, was making Justine ache in ways she’d never imagined. While they never spoke of that infamous week in November, and they never overtly flirted, what they did share somehow had more value because of that.

  “So it’s nearly the weekend,” Alex said. “What are you up to? Any hot dates lined up?”

  Whoa. Alex had never asked anything that direct before.

  “Um, no. Just dinner with Christina and Sylvie on Saturday.”

  “Are…are you seeing anyone, Justine?” Alex’s voice was barely above a whisper, but she may as well have shouted.

  Justine swallowed hard. “No. No one at the moment.”

  There was a brief silence. “Me neither.”

  “Well, I guess that would take some time for you, wouldn’t it? After everything that’s happened.”

  “Yeah. I guess.”

  Say it would be me, Justine thought. Tell me when you’re ready it will be me. She dropped her forehead into her hand. God, what was she thinking? She needed to end this call before she said anything like that out loud.

  “So I kinda need to get on with some things.” She tried not to sound too abrupt, but the panic running rampant in her body right now had taken control. “Sorry. You know how it is.”

  Alex cleared her throat. “Yes. Yes, of course. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you.”

  “Okay. Until next time.”

  “Bye, Justine.”

  God, even the way Alex said her name had her quivering with need. She dropped the phone back in its cradle and her head on the desk.

  This was utterly crazy.

  Chapter 22

  She’d wanted to tell Justine. She’d wanted to just get it out there, right out there. Justine, I can’t stop thinking about you, and I want—

  What? What did she think could happen if she said something like that? They couldn’t date; they lived three thousand miles apart. They couldn’t arrange to meet up for a drink one night and just see how things could be, like normal people could do.

  Stupid.

  Ridiculous.

  But oh God, how she wanted Justine. Every time they talked, her feelings consumed her. She listened to the nuances in Justine’s voice, took any opportunity to make Justine laugh because she loved the husky sound of it. And whenever Justine’s voice dropped a tad lower, it brought back memories of her holding Alex tight and saying, “I want to hear you come,” as her fingers pushed deliciously slowly inside Alex.

  She nearly moaned, and pushed herself out of her office chair. On the pretence of looking at a memo, just in case someone observed her, she paced the room, her mind in free fall. As bold as she had been these past few weeks, going that final step and really opening up to Justine had been one step too far. What if Justine didn’t reciprocate? Alex had always been useless at reading so-called signals, and trying to interpret them without being able to look at Justine was impossible. And yet… Something was definitely there, between them. Something that told her Justine might be struggl
ing with this as much as she was.

  She stopped dead in the centre of her office. Unless, of course, Justine was struggling because of what Alex did in having sex with her in the first place. Justine had been abundantly clear she had no time for someone who cheated. Was Alex making her uncomfortable in this silly pursuit, in continuing to force her into conversations that were nothing to do with work? But Justine didn’t sound like she was forcing answers out. Justine sounded like she was enjoying their chats as much as Alex was.

  She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. This was insane. Not for the first time in her life, she wished she owned a time machine. Then she could tell Justine how she felt, and if it went tits up, she could simply rewind time and pretend it never happened.

  If only.

  Throwing the memo onto her desk, she forced herself to sit back down in front of her laptop and focus on work. Two hours left in the day, then it was payday drinks for the team. She laughed to herself. Yeah, a very large gin and tonic would not go amiss right now. She puffed out a breath and got back to her e-mails.

  The pub was packed. Alex shoved her way through a large—and loud—group of men in suits until she spotted Edward, her assistant, and the rest of her team wedged into a corner near the other door.

  “Sorry I’m late!” She had to shout to be heard above the conversations around her. “Who’s ready for another drink?”

  Smiling faces and raised empty glasses told her all she needed to know, and she grinned as she took everyone’s order. Fifteen minutes later, after a monumental journey back through the crowd, she emerged with a tray covered in drinks and smirked as her team descended like vultures. The first sip of her gin hit the spot perfectly and she sighed in satisfaction.