Miles Apart

by A. L. Brooks

  Justine nodded and pushed her hands into her hair. Alex let out a small indecipherable sound.

  “What?” Justine asked.

  Alex ducked her head and mumbled, “Nothing.”

  Justine grinned. “Oh no, you have to tell me now.”

  Alex huffed out a big breath. “I…it’s just… Well, when you do that, push your hands through your hair like that? It’s just…sexy.” She breathed the last word and dipped her head again, and a low throb pulsed between Justine’s legs. In all their calls and e-mails, neither of them had yet referenced their physical attraction. Not having done so didn’t seem strange; they were trying to get to know each other beyond the physical, to understand each other without the distraction of their undeniable sexual pull toward each other. With that one word Alex had shifted their momentum again.

  “Was it okay to say that?” Alex had tilted her head, and a small frown creased her forehead.

  “Yeah,” Justine said, blushing. “It had…a nice effect.”

  Alex smiled, and Justine didn’t think she’d ever tire of Alex looking so adorable.

  “Do you…do you ever think about me? Like that?” Justine felt like she was fifteen again, stumbling over her words in a hormone-driven mess. She was aroused and had no immediate outlet for it, and the depth of it had her quaking.

  Alex nodded as she tightly grasped her knees. “A lot,” she whispered.

  Justine swallowed. “Me too.”

  They were silent for a while, staring at each other as if neither had any idea how to follow that. Justine had learned much about Alex these past couple of weeks, and her belief in Alex being a good person who’d fallen into an awful situation had only increased. She knew her feelings were heading in the right direction for something to happen between them, something more like an actual relationship. But did Alex feel the same way? Could they talk about that next week when they met in person?

  Eventually Alex cleared her throat and broke into Justine’s swirling thoughts.

  “So could I invite you out for dinner on Thursday night? Wednesday I know I will be too tired, and this, well, it’s too important for me not to give it my best.”

  Justine smiled. “I’m glad to hear you say that. That it’s important.”

  “It is,” Alex said firmly, and she leaned forwards slightly, bringing her beautiful face closer to the camera. “I know we haven’t spoken about the future much, but there’s some things I’d like, no, need to talk to you about. On Thursday, yes?”

  Justine nodded vigorously. “Definitely. I…I can’t wait to see you. Well, I know I’m seeing you now, but you know what I mean.”

  Alex laughed, and the sound was blissful to Justine’s ears.

  “I know what you mean. Me too.” Alex’s smile was wide.

  They hung up shortly after, and Justine didn’t know quite what to do with herself. It was six thirty, too early to eat, and besides, her mind was racing, which in turn had her blood racing.

  In less than a week, she’d be sitting opposite Alex, talking in person. Being able to reach out and hold her hand, if she wanted to. Or stroke her face, if the mood took her.

  Or kiss her.

  She shook with the desire that flooded through her at that thought. How would it feel to have that closeness again, or even just the option of it? She shook her head; the idea seemed so surreal all of a sudden.

  Were they crazy? How on earth could they make this work when they lived so far apart?

  “But you did not tell her about the possibility of living there?” Danielle reached for her wine and stared at Alex over the rim of the glass. The look held no judgement, simply curiosity.

  “No. I thought about it, but it’s still only a concept. Even if I apply I may not get it. There’s a fairly senior person in HR over there already—she might apply for it too. And with Justine, I’ll just have to see how things go with her on Thursday as to whether I even broach the possibility.” She sipped her wine. “And anyway, I didn’t think it was fair to do it over a Skype call. That sort of thing should be discussed in person, face to face. If I do apply it’s a pretty major step to take and it impacts both of us. Well, it could. Depending on how she feels about me.”

  Danielle snorted. “From what you have told me, Alex, I do not think you need to concern yourself about that,” she said with a smirk.

  Alex grinned. “Yeah, maybe.”

  “You said ‘if’ you apply for the role. Is there a chance you wouldn’t?”

  Alex sat back in her chair and sighed. “I have to be able to separate the job from the chance to be with Justine. If the job isn’t really something I want, should I apply for it anyway just to be near her? My sensible brain says that’s a bit risky.”

  Danielle frowned. “I suppose so. But given what Richard said, is it likely to be something you do not want?”

  “No,” Alex said, laughing. “Not at all. I guess…I guess I’m just panicking, a little. Suddenly everything I want could be handed to me on a plate, and it’s a little daunting.”

  “But exciting, yes?”

  Alex grinned. “Oh, yes.”

  Danielle leaned forwards and picked up Alex’s hand. “I am so happy for you.”

  “Really? Because, you know, you thought this was all bonkers.”

  “Very true. But that shows how little I really know, doesn’t it?” She smiled. “You never know what the universe is going to throw at you. And you are living proof of that. This time last year, where were you? And look at you now. I think you were correct all along. This was meant to be. I think by the end of the year you will be packing up and moving to Montreal, and Justine will be there waiting for you.”

  “God, I hope so,” Alex said fervently. “I think we’ve still got a way to go, but I think we’ve learned enough about each other recently that there’s a good foundation for trust there now, you know? It’s obvious she’s past that sleeping-around phase—she wouldn’t be putting so much effort into this with me if she wasn’t. And I hope I’ve done enough to convince her that cheating on Terri was a one-time aberration that I cannot imagine repeating under any circumstances.”

  Danielle nodded. “I hope so too, because I know you and I know that prospect is highly unlikely.”

  Alex squeezed Danielle’s hand, then released it, taking another sip of her wine. They were seated opposite each other at Danielle’s kitchen table, having long ago finished the simple meal Danielle had prepared for them. Beth had moved into her office to catch up on some work, leaving them alone to talk.

  “What is it like working together while all of this is occurring?” Danielle asked.

  “Thankfully, she’s as professional as I am. She’s very good at what she does, actually. So without even talking about it, we’ve both fallen into a good pattern of putting on a mask in front of our colleagues. I don’t think anyone would guess there’s anything between us.”

  “And would you have to maintain that if you were working in the same office?”

  Alex shrugged. She hadn’t thought that far ahead. Hadn’t dared to. “Maybe. She wouldn’t report into me, so it’s not like there would be an issue over influence around promotion or anything like that. But I don’t imagine we’d advertise it—I don’t know of anyone having an office romance at all, never mind a same-sex one. Come to think of it, I don’t even know if Justine is out at work.”

  “Well, although you are, you have never particularly paraded it, have you? So if she feels the need to be discrete, would it bother you?”

  “Nope, I would be okay with that.” She sighed. “There’s still so much I don’t know, and although we’ve been talking fairly freely, she’s still been pretty tentative with me. Not holding back, as such. Just…kind of reluctant sometimes. I know you said it’s obvious how she feels about me, but sometimes… I don’t know.
It’s as if she doesn’t want to give too much away. I think she feels the same way I do, but it’s not really been said out loud. By either of us.”

  “So what is your aim for your meeting with her on Thursday? Whatever this is between you has been bubbling along for so long now, I suppose I wonder just what your next step is, apart from more sharing about who you each are? Do you think you will sleep together?” Danielle flashed her a grin.

  Alex’s cheeks flamed. Just the thought of being sexual with Justine again had her body flushing hot and cold. Sometimes on their Skype calls, Alex had found herself drifting from the conversation as she stared at Justine’s face, the lips she remembered feeling so soft against her own, the body that had pinned her so deliciously against that door…

  Danielle chuckled. “I did not mean to make you blush.”

  “Sure you didn’t.” Alex smirked when Danielle guffawed. “I have no idea about Thursday.” She threw her hands up. “All I could think of when I asked her to meet was just to see her again, to talk to her.” She laughed. “It’s kind of bizarre to think about, that it’s going to finally happen after all this time.”

  “I can imagine. So perhaps that is a good thing, then. No preconceived notions about what the evening will bring, other than a chance to reconnect, in whatever form that takes.”

  Nodding, Alex smiled. “But I can’t lie—if there’s a chance of things progressing, I won’t say no.” She shivered at the thought. “Underneath all the drama and the talking and the getting to know each other, that spark is still there. With bells on.”

  Danielle threw back her head and laughed. “Look out, Justine,” she said, her eyes sparkling, “you have no idea what is going to hit you.”

  Chapter 26

  It was a mad dash to get out of the office on time to get to Heathrow as—typically—suddenly everyone wanted something from her right as she started to pack up her desk. Edward fielded as much as he could, but even so, Alex was still carrying on a conversation with one of the senior finance managers as she wheeled her case down the corridor towards the lifts.

  “E-mail me, Annie, and I’ll look at it as soon as I get to Heathrow. But I really have to go. Now,” she said, thumbing the button for the lift multiple times in the vain hope the action would make it arrive faster.

  Moments later she was cocooned alone in the lift as it descended, and she allowed herself a slow exhalation. Work wasn’t the only thing that was frantic; her thoughts were spinning and had been ever since she’d woken up far too early that morning. In just over forty-eight hours she would see Justine. They had arranged their dinner venue over e-mail; neither of them had been able to rearrange their Sunday plans to be able to have a Skype call, so they hadn’t actually spoken since Friday.

  Justine’s hesitancy at Alex’s news of her visit had been awkward to witness, but the rational part of Alex understood where Justine’s concerns lay. She herself was finding the whole concept utterly surreal and was expending a lot of energy trying to keep herself calm. Even meeting up on Thursday didn’t mean anything would be resolved between them—it was just another stage of this strange process they had found themselves in.

  She bundled her case into the waiting taxi and slouched back gratefully in its comfy seat as the driver swung them westwards towards the airport. While London shot by her window, Alex tried to organise her thoughts once more. She was nervous, there was no doubt about that. No matter how much she and Justine had shared these past two weeks, no matter how strongly she felt an attraction—and that was such a tame word for what she felt for Justine—the path they’d travelled to this point had been bumpy, to say the least. Too bumpy to continue? That was what they had to figure out. Would she still feel the same strong desire for Justine when in her presence again, or had she unwittingly built it up to be more than it was due to their distance? And would Justine be willing to give them a go, to take a chance? She had been so hurt by Nadia; Alex could see how gun-shy that would make her. But surely, Alex reasoned, before panic set in again, Justine had to try again sometime, didn’t she? And who better to try with than someone who wanted her as deeply as Alex did?

  Stop looking for her; you know she’s in meetings.

  Justine’s silent admonition to herself pulled her gaze back to where it needed to be—directly in front of her so she didn’t trip over her own feet on her way to the coffee room. This was her third walk down the corridor in less than ninety minutes, and she shook her head. She knew what she was doing—hoping for a sighting, a brief greeting, anything. Pathetic. But it was tortuous, knowing that Alex was in the building now, probably on the very same floor, breathing the same conditioned air.

  Alex had messaged Justine the previous evening, just checking in after she’d arrived, making small talk about her flight but already planning an early night to get over her travels. Justine had respected her need for rest and held back the suggestion on the tip of her tongue to meet for a quick drink. She was glad she had, as a wave of uncertainty had swept over her shortly afterwards. Even now she was torn between wanting to lay eyes on Alex, and wanting to run a mile in the other direction.

  She was scared. Two years ago Nadia had handed Justine the biggest embarrassment of her life, and she wasn’t entirely sure the scars from that had completely mended. To discover she’d been living a lie for six months hurt like hell, and she was still making her way back to normal from that low point of her life. She knew Alex could help with that. If Justine let her. But that would require her to conquer her fear of being hurt that badly again, and she vacillated between thinking she could do just that and not remotely thinking it was possible.

  She had arranged to meet up with Sylvie for a drink after work, ostensibly to keep her mind off Alex, but she knew she would more than likely spend the entire evening talking of nothing but Alex.

  She reached the coffee room and stared at the machine. Why was she even pretending—two cups were her limit on most days. Sighing, she closed her eyes momentarily. This was crazy. Turning abruptly, she marched back to her office and shut the door. Immersing herself in reports, test plans, and resource scheduling, she willed her day to sprint to its end.

  By the time she joined Sylvie at Hugo’s, pulling out a tall stool at the bar and ordering a large glass of the Pinot Noir, she was exhausted. Her brain had been on overdrive, filling itself with anything and everything work-related to keep images and thoughts of Alex at bay. Now, sitting close to her friend with a glass of wine in her hand, she let everything she’d bottled up spill out into the air between them.

  “One minute I think I’m crazy to consider it,” she said, after filling Sylvie in on everything that had happened and what she thought about it. “The next I think I’d be crazy not to do this.” She hung her head and Sylvie rubbed comforting circles on her back.

  “You are getting ahead of yourself, Justine,” Sylvie said in her soft accent. “You are trying to figure it all out before you have even seen her. That is crazy.”

  Justine raised her head and couldn’t help smiling at Sylvie’s calm expression. “You’re right. As usual. God, this is just…so hard, Sylvie. So hard.”

  “I know you are scared,” Sylvie whispered, “and I do not blame you, not after what that…bitch did to you.”

  Sylvie rarely used profanity, and the sound of one falling from her lips had Justine giggling uncontrollably. Sylvie shrugged.

  “Eh, I made you laugh. This is progress.”

  “Yeah, I think I needed that. Merci, mon amie.”

  Sylvie touched her glass to Justine’s and sipped, her eyes sparkling.

  “We’ve ordered lunch in, if that’s okay with you, Alex?”

  “Lovely, thanks.” She wasn’t about to tell the global head of finance operations that she’d rather take a walk at lunchtime. She’d spent all of Wednesday, and now Thursday morning too, ensconced in a conference room with thre
e members of the executive committee, discussing the expansion plans and the restructuring that would follow. She was tired, but it had been worth it—the plans for the new directorship based in Montreal had considerably firmed up since her arrival, and it was clear the role was going to be as challenging and interesting as Richard had suggested. They had confirmed the terms too—a two-year contract if it went to anyone other than a Canadian resident. So she’d have two years to prove herself and see where her career took her after that. Or where her personal life took her in the same amount of time, because two years with Justine could decide the rest of their lives together… Setting aside all thoughts of Justine, as far as she could, she listened to the committee describe what they envisaged for the role and knew she wanted a crack at it.

  It was exciting and nerve-racking. Moving to another country would never have been something she thought she would seriously consider. Having no real commitments back in the UK meant she had the freedom to play with the idea. Although, having turned her life around one way in the last year because of a failed relationship, the rational part of her questioned why she’d want to turn it around another way for yet another relationship. Especially a relationship that hadn’t really even got off the ground.

  Baby steps. Just try and take it slow, see what tomorrow brings.

  Their lunch arrived, and laptops and piles of briefing notes were pushed to one side while they ate. She made small talk as best she could with the three other people who shared the table. These were people she would work closely with, if she got the role, and whether she liked them or not, she needed to get on with them.

  She racked her brain for an opening into a conversation she wanted to start, and suddenly remembered that one of the committee members had mentioned being from Toronto, and only moving to Montreal recently to take up his position here.