Miles Apart

by A. L. Brooks

  “So, Simon,” she said, wiping at her mouth with a paper napkin, then smiling warmly at him across the table. “How did your move here go? Did you find it easy to find somewhere to live?”

  That set off a lively discussion around living in Montreal that lasted throughout the remainder of their forty-five-minute lunch break. It gained her some valuable information, as she’d hoped, and she scribbled copious notes as her colleagues battled with good-natured rivalry over the best—and worst—areas to live in metropolitan Montreal.

  I liked the area where Justine’s apartment is, close to the Gay Village.

  A small blush coated her cheeks as she recalled that night—the walk to Justine’s place hadn’t taken long from the bar, although she had no real idea which direction they’d gone. And when she’d left, doing the walk of shame, she’d wandered blindly until she found a cab. If they were to make something of their connection, if they were going to see what they could be, then maybe living near each other would be a help. Especially as Alex wouldn’t know anyone else in Montreal.

  At that thought, she mentally pulled up short. In the rapidly evolving situation, she hadn’t stopped to consider that. If she got the job, she’d be putting all her eggs in one basket in relying on Justine to be her one and only connection in the city. True, there was Sonia, but she wasn’t in Montreal all year. Although at least part of the year was better than nothing.

  Alex excused herself to the washroom at the end of the lunch break and sat for moment in the cubicle, pondering this latest train of thought. If she got the job and she and Justine didn’t work out, she’d be in a very lonely place until she built up a social network. And while she didn’t have a huge list of friends back in the UK, she could always rely on a good handful to be available when she needed. In Montreal, that would all change, and the thought of it unnerved her. Was she crazy to consider this move? Wouldn’t it be easier, and safer, to stay in the UK, forget this notion of exploring what she and Justine could have, and move her life on in a different way back on home soil?

  As she washed her hands, she looked at herself in the mirror. The confused face staring back at her wasn’t a surprise.

  Chapter 27

  The restaurant was probably beautifully decorated, but Alex barely took in her surroundings as her gaze swept the room. She was focused on only one thing—seeing Justine.

  “Bonsoir, Madame.” The woman at the desk smiled widely as Alex pulled her focus back to the welcoming face.

  “Hi, I’m here to meet Justine North. A table booked for two?”

  The woman ran her finger down the printed sheet in front of her, finally stopping about halfway.

  “Ah, oui. This way, please.”

  Alex followed her through the room to an empty table in the middle of the large dining area. She glanced at her watch; technically she was exactly on time, so she was a little surprised not to see Justine already at the table. Alex allowed the woman to pull out a chair for her, choosing the one facing the door.

  “Can I get you something to drink while you wait?”

  “Just some sparkling water, thank you.”

  A waiter brought the glass a couple of minutes later, and Alex took a few sips, simply to have something to do. She tried hard to breathe evenly, but her nerves were all over the place. And Justine being late wasn’t helping. Had she changed her mind? Got held up at work? Alex checked her phone once more; no messages.

  Fifteen minutes later Alex had almost talked herself into leaving, her heart close to breaking at thinking Justine had given up on them before they even got started. Then Justine pushed through the door.

  She was every bit as gorgeous as Alex remembered; a Skype screen hadn’t done her justice.

  Striding purposefully across the room, Justine looked serious and intent and…hot. Alex shifted in her seat, arousal darting through her. Justine’s face wore a frown of frustration and she gushed her apology as she pulled her chair back from the table.

  “Alex, I’m so sorry. I got held up at the last minute. Did you get my message?”

  Numbly shaking her head, completely in a daze at the glorious vision before her, Alex struggled to find her voice.

  “I… No,” she managed eventually.

  Justine’s frown deepened. “That’s odd, I sent it half an hour ago.” She sat and exhaled sharply. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what’s happened there.”

  Alex shrugged. “That’s okay. I was just getting worried, I’ll be honest. But you’re here now.”

  “Worried?”

  “That…that you’d changed your mind.” Alex’s voice was small.

  Justine closed her eyes briefly. When she reopened them, her gaze was intense. “I wouldn’t have left you sitting here, even if I had changed my mind. Please know that.”

  “Okay.” Alex smiled, and Justine’s face relaxed in relief. Alex took a moment to drink her in. Her beauty was still mesmerising.

  “I…I can’t believe you’re here,” Justine said quietly, her gaze roaming over Alex’s face.

  “I know.” Alex chuckled. “It’s actually surreal to be sitting here, looking at you. You…you look good.”

  Justine inclined her head slightly. “Thank you. So do you. Amazing, in fact.”

  Alex’s cheeks tinged with heat, and Justine grinned.

  The waiter appeared, offered Justine some water, and deposited menus in front of them.

  “How are you feeling?” Justine asked as he departed. “Have you been in meetings constantly?”

  Alex nodded. “I have. It’s been pretty draining, especially on top of the long travelling day on Tuesday.” She lifted one shoulder. “But it’s okay. We’ve got a lot done.”

  “You didn’t actually explain what you were doing over here, other than catching up with me around that testing mess. More training too?”

  Alex reached for her water and took a healthy gulp. Technically she couldn’t tell Justine anything about the restructuring, as much of it was still confidential. She’d gone back and forth about this earlier, as she dressed for the evening, and decided all she could do was couch it in terms of the change in her role, but not the reason it was happening.

  “Well, there are some changes being made to our team, and I needed to meet with some people to go through that.” She knew it sounded vague, but she wasn’t ready, so early in the evening, to talk about the possibility of moving here. “What about you?” she continued. “Had a busy week?”

  If Justine noticed the swift turnaround, she didn’t comment. “Average for me. I know we have the team meeting tomorrow on your upgrade, but I can tell you I think I’ve made progress today on that block in the test program.”

  “That’s great!”

  They talked more about the project either side of ordering their meals and a glass of wine each. Alex wanted to watch her alcohol intake carefully—she didn’t need any hint of drunkenness colouring their conversation.

  Their main courses arrived; neither had bothered with a starter. For Alex, even being able to make it through one course was going to be a struggle with her stomach in knots, and she wondered if it was the same for Justine. Small talk fell easily from their lips while they ate, but she could definitely feel tension building up between them as the meal progressed. With hindsight, and ever-increasing discomfort, Alex wondered if dinner had been such a good idea, especially in public. Might they have been better off meeting in her hotel room, where they could talk freely? Here in the restaurant, she was aware of the other patrons within earshot, the music that forced them to talk just a little louder than normal to be heard, and the background hum of other conversations.

  “Are you okay?” Justine asked suddenly.

  “What? Oh, yes.” Alex flushed, realising she had drifted from their conversation. “I’m sorry. I… It’s just I’m finding t
his a little difficult.”

  “Being here with me?” Justine’s voice cracked.

  “No, not that. No,” Alex said, reaching out a hand without thinking, then pausing just before it came to rest on top of Justine’s. She stared at her hovering hand. It had been pure instinct to want to reach out and comfort Justine, to show, in some physical way, that she wanted to be with her. Glancing up, she saw Justine staring at her hand too, a longing in her eyes that sent a shiver down Alex’s spine. She lowered her hand onto Justine’s and held back the gasp of pleasure that tried to escape her throat at the simple touch.

  Justine’s smile seared through her. It lifted Justine’s natural beauty into another realm, and left Alex breathless and aching in ways she’d never experienced, yet always yearned for.

  She found her voice again, despite her throat closing up from the piercing emotion of the moment. “Being somewhere so public, I’m struggling to be able to talk to you about what really matters.” She waved her free hand. “There are too many people, too much noise…”

  Justine nodded and turned her hand to hold Alex’s in her palm, her thumb rubbing tantalising circles over Alex’s knuckles. The softness of the touch, and the warmth of her fingers, set off a quivering deep down in Alex’s belly.

  “Then let’s get out of here. Find somewhere quieter.” Justine smiled and squeezed Alex’s hand.

  Chapter 28

  They stepped out into a delightfully mild June evening. A soft breeze wafted their hair away from their faces as Justine gestured them across the street. The restaurant they’d just left was near Notre-Dame, and Justine led them back in the direction of Alex’s hotel.

  “How about a quiet bar in a cute hotel not far from here?” Justine asked as they wove their way through the many pedestrians enjoying the night air. It was still relatively early, only eight thirty. “It’s tucked away down one of the side streets here, so it doesn’t tend to get packed out.”

  Alex smiled at her. “Sounds perfect.” She knew the bar back at the W, where she was staying again, was normally busy and loud. The last thing they needed right now. And somehow, with this hesitancy between them, inviting Justine back to her hotel room seemed far too presumptuous.

  They walked in silence, zigzagging through the narrow streets until Justine took the two steps up to the ornate entrance of the boutique hotel. The bar was just off the lobby, and they were soon settled in two small armchairs alongside one of the windows.

  “Wine?” Justine asked. Alex caught the nervous tremor in her voice and knew her own voice would sound the same when she spoke.

  “Yes, but just a small one, please. Red.”

  Justine nodded and caught the attention of the bartender. Having placed their order, by unspoken agreement they waited until their drinks had been served before speaking again.

  “So,” Alex began, knowing she had to be the one to take the lead, even though it sent her stomach free-falling yet again. She sat forwards slightly; the importance of what they were about to discuss made a relaxed posture next to impossible. “I wanted to talk about us. Well, about the possibility of us.” She shook her head. “God, I’m not sure that came out right.”

  Justine smiled. “It did. Just because we’ve kind of started talking about how we feel about each other, it’s…well, it’s never been anything particularly solid, has it? Kind of theoretical, really.”

  “Yes!” Alex nodded, glad they seemed to be on the same wavelength about that, at least. “As much as those Skype calls gave us a better way to communicate, it still felt a bit odd trying to figure this all out without actually being in the same room as each other. I guess that’s what I hoped we could do on this trip. Tonight.”

  “We can certainly start,” Justine said quietly.

  There it was again, Justine being…reticent. Maybe she was still unsure, but maybe she just needed more from Alex to know where she stood. Which meant Alex had to be brave and get it all out there. The thought was frightening, but she hadn’t spent the last nine months re-evaluating her life, her desires, and her own nature not to do this now. Not when the woman who stirred more in her than anyone had ever done was sitting so close to her, potentially only one conversation away from being in her arms. In her life.

  “I know we, and maybe our friends too, think this is a little crazy.” She shrugged. “We had one amazing evening that ended very badly, and since then, this weird rollercoaster of events that conspired to bring us together again.” She gazed into Justine’s eyes, held them captive. “But I meant what I said on that silly call a few weeks ago. I cannot stop thinking about you. And that’s only increased with all the calls we’ve shared since. I love talking to you, sharing details of our lives with each other. And the physical attraction… Let’s just say the memories—” she cleared her throat at the rush of desire that swept through her “—of being pressed up against your door, with you kissing me…touching me, have kept me awake so many nights.”

  The flush that pinked Justine’s cheeks told her those sleepless nights had been mutual.

  “Sitting here now,” Alex continued, leaning further forwards, “looking at you, all I want to do is know you. Be with you.” She paused, took a deep breath. She felt bold and terrified all at once. “I know you have trust issues from what Nadia did, and you’re going to be hesitant about getting involved with someone like me, who did cheat on her partner.” Her voice cracked. “But all I can do is repeat what I said on one of our calls. I cannot imagine ever being in that position again. I’d like you to give me a chance to prove that. Because I think what you and I have has the potential, already, to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  It was her best pitch. She had to know if Justine reciprocated at this depth before she brought up the possibility of being here on a more permanent basis. She reached for her wine and took a slow mouthful, waiting.

  Justine watched her, her gaze travelling over Alex’s face, down to Alex’s hands wrapped around her wine glass.

  “You don’t hold back, do you, when you need to get it out there?” Justine’s voice was husky, and her hand quivered slightly as she reached for her own wine.

  “It’s too important,” Alex said, tilting her head. “Why, now, would I not be honest with you? Isn’t that what this is all about?” She sighed, her frustration at Justine’s slowness to respond threatening to spill over.

  Justine held up a placating hand. “It wasn’t a criticism. I’m simply in awe. After all you’ve been through, I guess I didn’t expect you to be so…bold.”

  “I’ve had a lot of time to think. About me, about my relationships. About what I do and don’t want. And working with my therapist has made me realise how my past timidity had led me into situations that weren’t good for me at all. Doesn’t mean this is easy. You have no idea how many knots are currently tying up my stomach.”

  Justine smiled warmly and reached out to stroke Alex’s hand. The touch thrilled her.

  “Then I can only try and match your bravery,” Justine said as she continued to play with Alex’s hand. “It would be grossly unfair of me not to. But understand that this isn’t easy for me either.”

  “I know.”

  Justine looked away for a moment, dropping Alex’s hand, then looked back at her again. “Nadia doing what she did, it…it just about killed me, Alex. I didn’t know who I was for quite some time after that. And I said it gave me trust issues, but it did more than that. It made me scared. Scared to let anyone else in, just in case. Scared to risk my heart again, because I don’t think I could take being that hurt again. So it’s easier, right, not to get involved in anything serious?” She paused. “At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. Then we had those two wonderful evenings, and with you it was all different again. For a while I forgot I was supposed to be scared, and not interested in knowing someone further. I don’t know how you did
it, in such a short space of time, but that’s what you gave me that week.”

  She took a quick sip of her wine and Alex stayed silent, knowing there was more to come.

  “But learning that you had a partner back home… God, Alex, that was just too much. Everything came back. All the embarrassment, the bitter memories. The fear. And yes, I’ve clawed back from that since then, and I’ve also done my own thinking. But—” she swung her gaze up to meet Alex’s “—I still have my doubts. Not necessarily about you. I think I do believe you when you say that was a one-off. Maybe the doubts are more about myself. About whether I think I can truly commit to someone. The fear is still there, and it’s holding me back. I know that. But I can’t seem to stop it.”

  Alex swallowed, knowing she had to tell her it all now. Last throw of the dice.

  “There is something else I need to tell you, that may make a difference. I hope.”

  Justine’s eyebrows quirked. “Yes?”

  “It’s difficult to give you details because it’s still confidential. But one of the main reasons I’m here to meet with the executives is because there are some changes being proposed to my role. Specifically, there is a high possibility a new directorship will be opened up here in the Montreal office. It would be a two-year contract if it went to someone not from Canada.” She took a deep breath. “And Richard has made it very clear to me that he would be happy for me to apply for it, if I was interested.” When Justine didn’t visibly react, she added, driving home the point, “If I got it, I’d be living here, Justine.”

  Justine stared at her, her face giving nothing away. Then she huffed out an extended breath and sat back in her chair, her eyes wide.

  “I…I don’t know what to say.” She shook her head. “That’s… Alex, that’s huge. Are you interested in the role?”

  Alex nodded slowly. “Yes, I am. It’s a great opportunity.”