Onyx: Truth

by J. S. Lee

  “Of course it’s not true!” Sungmin yelled. He flung the iPad down on the bed. “Kate, this is an idol group and I am their manager. Shit happens, but I can’t deal with that unless I know about it.” He looked at each member of Onyx, and Ina. “I am unbelievably disappointed in all of you right now. You all should have known better.” He turned to me. “I trusted you. That’s not going to happen again.”

  “Hyungnim,” JongB started.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, cutting him off too. “But this was my decision, my fault… I accept full responsibility here.”

  “All of you get out. Be ready to leave for the concert venue in an hour,” Sungmin snapped, the anger still radiating from him. “We’re leaving straight for Bangkok after the show, so make sure you are packed.”

  Dismissed, we were ushered out of the room with our cases. I couldn’t say anything to anyone: Sungmin was standing behind us, making sure we all returned to our rooms like naughty children who had been grounded.

  In my room, the first thing I did was apologize to Ina as best I could with my Korean skills. She ignored me and stormed straight into the bathroom. I didn’t object. I had gotten them all in trouble, even though I had been trying to do the right thing. I perched on the edge of my bed and flopped back.

  That was when my phone rang: it was Holly.

  I was already wincing when I answered it. “What the hell, Kate?” she demanded, missing off the pleasantries. “I thought I had explained to you how important it was to keep a clean and professional image with Onyx. The SNS is going mental over here and I’ve been answering all kinds of calls speculating what’s going on. What the hell happened?”

  I let out a long sigh. “The crowd booed at him,” I told her.

  There was a pause. “What?”

  “CX. In Shanghai. The crowd booed at him. That’s why we were getting an earlier flight.”

  “Sungmin told me that, but it doesn’t explain why the hell the two of you were snapped sleeping together on a plane with the others landing without you in Hong Kong!” she cried.

  Holly could go quite high-pitched when she was angry. I winced. “Holls, it does,” I said, slowly. “He was stressed and upset. He thought no one wanted him in the group, including the group…” I trailed off.

  She was silent again. I could almost see her brain putting the pieces together. “Damnit,” she eventually muttered.

  “I realize now that not saying anything was the wrong thing to do, but he was never going to get on that flight in the state he was in. He needed a timeout and some ramyun,” I told her. “And now he’s in Hong Kong, probably still feeling like shit. Please let me cop this one for him. He needs a break.”

  “I’ll speak to Sungmin,” she informed me, her tone softer. “But you can’t do things like this again.”

  “I won’t,” I promised her.

  Ina left the bathroom not long after that, continuing to ignore me. I decided to jump in the shower. She didn’t want to be around me, and I needed to wash the travel and sleep from me. When I left, I still had a pounding headache, but the room was empty. I dug some painkillers out of the bottom of my bag and took them with a handful of water from the bathroom sink.

  I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the world, but I didn’t have a choice. Dragging my bags, I went down to the lobby to make sure I wasn’t the last one there. I took a seat and pulled out my phone. I hadn’t thought to charge it, and I didn’t have much battery left, but I needed to see how bad that story had been.

  I was on one of the English K-pop tabloid sites and I found it easily. Surprisingly, I had been identified as Onyx’s photographer pretty quickly, with most people saying I was part of the team. Then I stumbled on another article. This one was reporting on the Chinese fans reactions and how hostile they had been. The article was full of Chinese tweets – or posts on Weibo, the Chinese almost equivalent – that had been translated into English. The general consensus was, although a lot of people sympathized with CX, fans were pissed.

  Then I stumbled upon the comment which made it all make sense. Something similar had happened with Bohyun before he had left. An ‘excuse’ had been made, he’d not attended a fan sign event, and then he had gone.

  Fans were terrified the same was going to happen to Xiao.

  I had just managed to pull the battery pack from my bag and gotten my phone on charge when Sungmin appeared with CX and MinMin. I had a feeling CX was going to be on lockdown for a while.

  “We need to go.”

  I stood and hurried after him, not wanting to piss him off anymore today. There had been enough of that, and my painkiller hadn’t set in.

  The atmosphere was weird again. Everyone was tired, and no one seemed to want to talk about what had happened. I could understand both, but Onyx’s stage run looked like shit. To make it worse, the lack of sleep was not helping with Youngbin or JongB’s ability to remember the changed routine.

  After a couple of soundchecks, the group retired to their green room. Most were ready to sit down and relax, but Youngbin refused to let them. “We completely messed up out there,” he barked at them. “We need to practice until we get it right.”

  Although none of them looked thrilled, they all stood up and took their positions. I watched them run through their debut song three times before I decided to butt in. I walked to the wall and turned their music player off.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Youngbin demanded.

  “Making you take a break,” I said, firmly.

  Youngbin snorted. “You’re not our manager. You’re just the photographer.”

  I shrugged. “Fine, then as your photographer, you look like shit, and I’m not getting paid enough to fix the photographs that much in Photoshop.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Youngbin, you guys are tired. Just rest for a little bit. You have a show in a couple of hours.”

  “Which is all the more reason to practice!” he folded his arms, squaring up against me.

  I didn’t back down. “Look at them,” I said, pointing at the rest of the group. “Just look at them!”

  All four members looked exhausted. They’d barely had any sleep, we’d missed breakfast, they hadn’t had a break to get something to drink, and they were all breathing heavily with sweat pouring down them.

  They were also watching the two of us intently. Realizing I’d overstepped the line, I took a literal step back, my hands in the air. “I’m sorry.”

  Youngbin exhaled heavily and shook his head. “You’re right. Everyone, take a break.” He walked away, grabbing a bottle of water from the table and drinking it. Holy shit, he turned into a Diet Coke ad and didn’t even need the Diet Coke to accomplish it.

  “You’re drooling,” JongB muttered in my ear, making me jump.

  My hand shot to my chin to check, and when my hand came away dry, I jabbed him in his ribs. He moved out of the way, giggling like a fool. I’d get him back on that one at some point.

  “I need fresh air,” Youngbin suddenly declared. Without needing or waiting for a response, he walked out of the room. As Onyx shared a look, I remembered what JongB had said about Youngbin. Before I could stop myself, I walked out after him.

  He was only a little way down the corridor, pacing back and forth. I approached him hesitantly. We had a tense relationship at best and considering his stress levels, I really didn’t want to piss him off. “Youngbin?” I called, carefully. “Are you OK?”

  He glowered at me, then shook his head. With a long breath, he leaned back against the wall and slid down it so that he was sitting on the floor. “I don’t know why I keep messing it up so badly,” he admitted.

  I walked over and then sat down opposite him, crossing my legs in front of me. “You want to get it right?” I offered.

  “I just don’t understand why they got so angry last night,” he blurted out. “We’re not replacing Xiao. He’s still one of Onyx. He just couldn’t be there.”

  I rubbed my palms up and down
my thighs, biting my tongue.

  “What?” he demanded.

  I shook my head.

  “No, you look like you want to say something. It’s not stopped you so far.”

  Well, he wasn’t wrong there. “I get that off my mother,” I told him, dryly. “After twenty-four years, I still can’t work out if it’s a good trait, or a bad trait.”

  “I could do with someone who doesn’t try to feed me bullshit,” Youngbin said, gesturing at me. “Please, tell me what you think.”

  I leaned my head back against the wall but continued to look at him. I was sure he had a rather attractive view up my nose. “I think you all are trying too hard,” I said with a shrug. “Your fans have just had to deal with you losing Bohyun, who you replaced with CX, and I get that, but now Xiao isn’t here and you’re closing the gap on him. Then you’re all getting stressed because you’ve had all of four days to relearn your routines on top of some of you taking on new lines. I say go back to your original routine, leave a gap for Xiao so everyone knows you think he should be there, and then they’ll stop thinking he’s being replaced too.” I lowered my head. “And maybe apologize for the misunderstanding in Shanghai, because otherwise your Shanghai fans will be pissy.”

  Youngbin’s expression was one of incredulity.

  “You asked,” I reminded him.

  “Yeah,” he responded, slowly. “I did.” He stood up, then offered me a hand. I took it, allowing him to help me to my feet. “You’re not just a pretty face, are you?” he asked. He let go of me and walked back into the green room.

  I watched him go, waiting for my heart to stop pounding.

  제 16 장

  Give It To Me

  I’d gone back in the room just as the stylist and makeup artist arrived with Sungmin announcing it was time to get ready. I slipped in, grabbed my camera, then went out to the main area. Fans were already taking their seats or places in the pit.

  I paced up and down, monitoring the crowd. The same feeling in the air that had been in Shanghai was lingering here. I took some shots of the crowd like I had at the other venues, only this time, I was looking to see if there were any faces I recognized. As far as I could tell, there weren’t, but I’d compare photographs later if I needed to.

  Finally, the lights came down and the crowd erupted into screams of excitement. That was a good sign. As was the fact the area right in front of the stage didn’t have black areas from the lack of light sticks.

  Onyx ran onto the stage and the arena was full of music, singing, and bright lights. Although things seemed normal, the uneasy feeling in the bottom of my stomach wouldn’t go away. Trying to ignore it, to remain positive, I started focusing on the group, which was when I realized something was different.

  Youngbin had listened to me.

  They had gone back to the original routine for ‘Black Heart’, and they’d left the gap where Xiao would be. The one difference was that when it came to Xiao’s lines, Youngbin or Jiwon would take Xiao’s center stage position.

  Holy crap.

  Youngbin had listened to me…

  The song finished, and Onyx took to the middle of the stage for their introduction. And once more I spotted the difference. Onyx always lined up in age order. I’d noticed it in the pictures from Seoul and Osaka, so I had googled it. It was the same at every concert: Xiao, Youngbin, Bohyun (when he had been there), Jiwon, JongB, MinMin, and then, CX. Xiao, it turned out, was the oldest, but wasn’t the leader. I wasn’t sure why, but I’d never remembered to ask.

  This time, there was a noticeable gap between Youngbin and Jiwon, and when Youngbin introduced himself, before Jiwon spoke, he indicated to the space between them, apologizing for Xiao not being there, nor for not being acknowledged at Shanghai.

  Holy fuckballs, he had really listened to me!

  The crowd cheered.

  And then they started chanting Xiao’s name.

  Just when I thought I had given the worst advice known to man, Youngbin held up his hand, pulling his phone out of his pocket. The next thing I knew, he was FaceTiming Xiao, putting the microphone up to the iPhone’s speaker. I took photos, zooming in on the screen, certain that someone would doubt that it was live.

  Without any Korean preamble, Xiao burst into his native tongue, talking to the audience. Every so often, one of the members would ask something in Korean. It would be translated into Chinese by the translator for the audience, and Xiao would respond in Chinese.

  It was definitely live.

  There were a few minutes of conversation, then Xiao said goodbye, and Onyx continued with their introductions. By the time they got to CX, and I could tell he was nervous, he got cheers instead of boos.

  The dread left me. I think it left the others too, because I could see them all visibly relax on that stage.

  After that, the mood of the whole concert changed. Fans were happy, and so were Onyx. Best of all, because they’d gone back to the original routines, Youngbin and JongB were no longer making mistakes. All five of them had smiles on their faces for the whole time they were on the stage. In fact, I couldn’t even tell they were tired.

  This time, after the concert finished, we had to rush out of the venue for a different reason than wanting to avoid angry fans. The flights to Bangkok had been booked as soon after the end of the show as possible, which meant another middle of the night flight. It also meant that Onyx could be reunited with Xiao sooner.

  This time, we all left together. Even if we’d had to split up, I doubted that Sungmin would have sent me with Onyx anyway. As it was, I was in the second minibus with all the luggage and the rest of the team. I didn’t mind. I was busy staring at Hong Kong in the dark. I’d barely seen any of it, and I wouldn’t now, but I couldn’t help but stare upwards.

  The buildings were so high – most of them skyscrapers which had to be at least 100 stories tall. Apartment lights lighting them up in the black sky. I would have loved to have seen them in daylight.

  Maybe next time.

  Fans were already at the airport to see Onyx off. I wasn’t sure if they had been at the concert, but if not, word had spread quickly, and they were greeted positively. We checked in and made our way through security to the gate. It was only a short wait and we were on the plane.

  This time, I was sitting in coach.

  It wasn’t sitting in coach that was the problem. Until travelling with Onyx, I’d never been in business or first class, so that was a treat for me. As part of the entourage, I had expected it anyway.

  Except for when I was the only one sitting back there.

  And it wasn’t even a good seat. This plane was one with two rows of three, and I was slap-bang in the middle seat.

  Sungmin was still pissed at me. Either Holly hadn’t called him, (or hadn’t had the chance), or he was still pissed at me anyway. What was worse, I didn’t feel like I could pull my laptop out and start work on the photographs.

  On the plus side, it was only a short flight to Bangkok and as it was some ungodly hour in the morning, the people either side of me were already asleep, so I didn’t need to have an awkward conversation with them. But it wasn’t a comfortable flight.

  I didn’t think it was possible to feel more tired than I did, but the plane ride proved that. I passed through the airport in a daze, feeling like a zombie. The best thing was that the next show wasn’t until Tuesday evening, and seeing as it was Sunday (just), that meant I would be able to get some sleep. I think everyone felt the same way.

  It wasn’t until we were in the hotel and Sungmin was giving out the room keycards that I even saw Onyx again. I caught the sympathetic look from JongB and CX, but otherwise, I didn’t care. I wanted my bed. I took the card Sungmin gave me and trudged over to the elevator, leaning against the wall as I tried to keep my eyes open.

  “Where did you go?” JongB asked, joining me with Jiwon and Youngbin.

  I yawned. “Other end of the plane,” I mumbled. “I couldn’t get any sleep.”

  “W
e can tell,” JongB declared.

  “Bite me.”

  The elevator pinged open and I dragged my cases in, followed by Jiwon. While Youngbin was distracted, he leaned over and bit the lobe of my ear. Hard. “Happily,” he murmured, straightening as Youngbin got in the elevator.

  That was not fair.

  The bite had hurt.

  Strangely I liked it.

  Sadly, I couldn’t do anything about it. The smirk plastered on his face told me he was well aware of that. We finally arrived at our floor and we left the elevator. I glanced at my keycard and sighed. No, this was their floor, not mine. I stepped back into the elevator and hammered the button for the floor below.

  When I found my room, after the experience on the plane and Sungmin’s current distrust of me, I was half expecting a cupboard. Instead, my jaw dropped open. It was like a damn palace. I had to check the number on my card against the one on the door to make sure I hadn’t made a mistake.

  Apparently, I hadn’t.

  I dragged my case in, quickly closing and locking the door before anyone could drag me out of it. The room… room was an understatement. It was like a damn apartment. An open plan bedroom with a couch and a dining table – not that there was a kitchen, but there was a four-seater table.

  In front of me were massive windows. No, wait, one was a sliding door to a balcony. Beyond that were incredible views of the city with the sun coming up behind it.

  I started walking towards it, past the wall with the television as big as me, and then my attention was caught by something else. The bathroom.

  Only it wasn’t a room – the wall with the television seemed to be a dividing wall, but there was no door. There was also no wall between the bathtub and the giant-ass window. Nor were there any blinds.

  I was a shower girl, but holy shit, I was trying out that bathtub.

  The place was immaculate. Maybe Sungmin didn’t hate me. I turned my attention back to the balcony, stepping out onto it. Although there was only a plate of glass between the bedroom and the outside, it did an amazing job of blocking out the sound of the traffic below.