by Amanda Tru
“But what if it is?”
They stared at each other, trying to find answers in the depths of each other’s eyes and only seeing the same mirrored confusion.
“I guess we need to pray then,” Carter said finally. Then he bowed his head and prayed right there in the lobby, not caring who watched or listened. He prayed for wisdom and leading, he prayed for Allie, and he prayed for peace in the decision they were about to make.
Then Geneva took a turn and prayed, echoing what Carter said, but doing it in her own words.
After the “Amen,” they opened their eyes, and Carter asked, “What do we do?”
Geneva swallowed and spoke, trying to voice the conviction in her heart. “I know you want to make sure to get me back for Kara and Allie, but I feel like we can’t go home without at least trying to follow this lead. We have to be home by Christmas Eve. That is non-negotiable and was always my intention. What if we take a few days and go to New Mexico? No matter what, whether or not we find him or get a new lead, we go home before Christmas Eve.”
“That gives us a few days,” Carter mused. “That’s probably enough time to hit both Santa Fe and Albuquerque. But we need to agree that if Allie takes a turn for the worse, we head home immediately.”
“Absolutely,” Geneva agreed, appreciating that Carter valued her opinion enough to put aside his reservations about continuing their search. “That’s what scares me the most. I don’t want to risk not being there when she needs me.”
“I know it’s scary,” Carter said, his tone changing from confused to confident. “However, we prayed about it, and I think we have a decision. Now we need to trust that God will honor our prayers and take care of Allie until we make it home. Sometimes ‘Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.’”
A laugh bubbled up in Geneva’s throat. “Carter, is that a John Wayne quote?”
“Maybe,” he said sheepishly. “I thought it appropriate considering the source of our current lead.”
Laughing, Geneva agreed. “Alright, then. Let’s saddle up and head to New Mexico!”
Unfortunately, at the time they made their decision, neither one of them knew they wouldn’t get a flight to Santa Fe until morning. Nor did they know that the flight would be delayed and take most of the day. They also didn’t know that they would have no luck whatsoever in their search for Jimmy in Santa Fe.
Now, with the knowledge that Allie wanted her, Geneva felt fully convinced that they’d made a terrible mistake. She should have gone home instead of continuing this hopeless chase. Carter had been right in his assessment. With all the assumptions they needed to make, it was unrealistic that they could expect to strike gold in a pile of sawdust.
A knock sounded at her hotel room door. Geneva rubbed her face and stood to let Carter come in.
Knowing she looked terrible, she preempted the question and immediately explained, “I spoke with Kara. If there was a flight out to Brighton Falls tonight, I’d leave right now. I’m afraid we made a horrible mistake coming to New Mexico.”
Carter folded his arms around her and drew her close, in spite of her stiff body.
She didn’t want to feel anymore. She wanted to power through her emotions, and yet she feared any comfort in Carter’s arms would cause her to lose her fragile composure.
However, he didn’t say a word. He just held her. After a few minutes, her body finally yielded, and her head rested against his shoulder in a momentary respite. For just a few seconds, she allowed herself to feel the comfort of his strength around her own weakness.
Finally, Carter spoke, his words coming softly to her ear. “I don’t know what Kara told you, but I also spoke to the hospice nurse and thoroughly reviewed her charts. Allie is holding her own. She won’t last long, but for the moment, she’s stable. We can’t get there any sooner anyway. Let’s stick to our original plan. Things have taken longer than we anticipated, but we said we’d be home for Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is the twenty-third. Let’s go to the River of Lights tonight and fly home tomorrow, no matter what.”
Geneva nodded and pulled back from his embrace. “It really feels like a waste of time. I don’t expect to get any different results than the dead ends we’ve encountered everywhere else. But you’re right. We can’t leave tonight anyway, so we might as well pass the time and go to one more pointless ‘light show.’”
The Albuquerque weather was quite different than what they’d experienced in California, and they’d both had to purchase more appropriate winter attire. Geneva now donned her full winter uniform of coat, hat, scarf, and gloves, and announced herself ready for what she was certain would be a miserable night ahead.
“Aren’t you going to ask them?” Geneva asked, following Carter away from the front gate.
They’d come to the BioPark River of Lights specifically to find Jimmy, and Carter hadn’t even asked the employees at the front the standard question they’d asked at every other stop in New Mexico.
“Those looked like college students working the front gate admissions,” Carter explained. “They are probably seasonal workers and have no idea who works here to set up the lights. We need to find someone else to ask about Jimmy—someone knowledgeable enough to give us an accurate answer.”
Geneva frowned, unsure where Carter intended to find this knowledgeable person, but she followed him anyway as he weaved in and out of the crowd toward some unknown destination.
The place was packed. During her research, Geneva had read that this was New Mexico’s largest holiday light show. She now felt the spectators closing in on all sides as she tried to follow Carter and earnestly believed the entire state must be visiting that night.
After they got through the front area, the people traffic spread out, and they could breathe a little easier. It didn’t take long before Geneva was caught up in the displays around her. The light sculptures ranged from a cluster of butterflies with moving wings to a thirty-foot tall brontosaurus completely decked out in thousands of green Christmas lights.
They wandered through the paths of the botanic garden, pointing and exclaiming over the displays, though never quite forgetting to be on the lookout for someone “knowledgeable.” Most of the displays were animal or plant related, and Geneva appreciated the focus of a theme rather than random displays. It seemed fitting that the life of Christmas lights came alive in the season while the garden's normal botanic inhabitants slept. This was no backyard light show. It all seemed so sophisticated and well-done. Obviously, those who put the show together and Albuquerque itself took great pride in the event.
“Wow, look at that!” Carter exclaimed, pointing to an elaborate sea life exhibit featuring everything from lighted seahorses, to a whale, to a scuba diver right in the middle.
Seeing a man in front of the display sweeping up popcorn from the sidewalk, Geneva asked, “Do you think he might know?”
“I doubt it, but we can give it a shot,” Carter said.
“We may as well start somewhere,” Geneva agreed. With this area less congested, at least they had a chance of approaching someone to have their question heard.
“Excuse me,” Carter said, approaching the park employee to ask the standard question. “Does a man named Jimmy Drew work here? He’s an electrician.”
Something flashed through the man’s eyes, catching the glint of Christmas lights around them. Then he recovered. His gaze went blank, his forehead smoothed, and he shrugged in an exaggerated attempt to be casual. “Nope. Sorry. Don’t know a Jimmy Drew.”
Geneva’s heart gave a mighty leap. He’s lying!
The man looked behind Carter and Geneva. “I gotta get back to work. Enjoy your night.”
Geneva tugged on Carter’s sleeve insistently. Her gaze bore into his as she wordlessly communicated that they had to do something!
Before they could figure out how to react, the man picked up his broom and dustpan and practically sprinted the opposite direction, leaving scattered popcorn in his wake.
“Well, that was strange,” Carter said, watching the man’s retreat.
Geneva tugged on his arm. “Come on. He obviously knows something. We need to go after him.”
“Geneva, the guy took off like we were infected with the plague. Short of torture, I don’t think we’re going to get anything out of him.”
“But we need to do something! We can’t just leave when we finally found someone who seems to know Jimmy!”
“We aren’t leaving,” Carter said firmly. “That reaction was the best news we’ve had since we started! It means we may have pricked a finger on our needle in the haystack. We need to find a manager or someone more likely to listen and less likely to assume we’re thugs out to take Jimmy down.”
“There were so many people when we came in. I didn’t get a good look around, but there should be a customer service or information counter near the entrance.”
Carter agreed, and they retraced their steps back to the front of the gardens. Fortunately, the crowd had dispersed slightly since the opening, and they could more easily maneuver around other patrons milling through the area.
Slightly out of breath, Geneva spotted a large building that housed the gift shop, first aid station, and other administration venues. They hurried to the information office next to the gift shop, and Geneva rubbed her gloved hands together, appreciating the tingles of warmth after stepping inside from the freezing night temperatures.
“Is there a manager we could speak to?” Geneva asked, stepping up to the counter and not wasting any time with beating around the bush.
“Is there a problem?” the woman behind the counter asked in concern. “Maybe it’s something I can help you with.”
“We need to find an employee who works here,” Carter explained. “We want to speak with a manager about locating him.”
At that moment, a voice sorted itself out from the rumble of noise around them, and Geneva heard an urgent rasp. “Hey, a couple was looking for you. I didn’t tell them anything but—”
Geneva felt Carter startle beside her, and her head whipped around to the corner where two men stood in the entrance to the employee area. One held a bucket of tools and looked like he’d just come in from outside. The other was the sweeper they’d seen earlier.
As if sensing their eyes on him, the man with the tools looked up. Geneva gasped, instantly recognizing Allie’s big, gray eyes.
“Jimmy!” she called.
Fear drew his eyes wide. He swung around, dropped his tools, and sprinted for the door.
Carter leaped after him. “Hey, wait! Jimmy, we just need to talk!”
Jimmy didn’t want to hear. He yanked open the door and took off through the crowd, careening around people as he headed to the entrance.
Geneva’s body reacted in panic. No! Please, no! He’s getting away!
Knowing this was their only chance, Geneva joined Carter in the chase.
“Excuse me! Excuse me!” she called, jostling others as she bumped and swerved around them.
She left grunts, startled exclamations, and rude, offended comments in her wake. The thousands of multi-colored Christmas lights swirled into a rainbow in her vision, practically blinding her as she careened through the maze of people.
She could hear Carter on a similar trail about ten feet to her left.
Up ahead, she caught the frantic movement of Jimmy’s dark figure tearing erratically toward the entrance like a frantic football player with his eye on the end zone, the game on the line, and the entire defense in his way.
Geneva maneuvered to the side, trying to cut him off before he made it through the gate. Carter closed in for the tackle.
Almost. So very close.
“Hey, what are you—”
Oomph!
Geneva ran straight into a woman, almost knocking her flat.
All breath escaped from her lungs, and Geneva gasped, realizing Carter’s fate mirrored her own. He stood beside her, panting and trying to offer assistance to the man he’d bowled over.
Feeling ill, Geneva looked up to see her last bit of hope slide through the front gate in between two kids with Santa hats.
“Hey, what gives?” a teen asked, glaring at Carter and Geneva.
From the way he looked at the woman in concern, Geneva guessed her to be his mother.
“We’re so sorry!” Geneva gasped. “Are you okay?”
Both the man and woman adjusted their beanies and assured their attackers that they would live. While they seemed startled more than angry, the three children flanking them glared Geneva and Carter’s way with reproach.
Carter stood on his tiptoes and scanned above the group’s beanies, still trying to catch a glimpse of their target. “We lost him,” Carter finally admitted, running a hand wearily through his hair in defeat.
“You were chasing that guy?” the man asked Carter, his tone more curious than angry.
“Yeah, we were.”
“And we stepped in the way.” It wasn’t really an apology. Just a statement of fact.
Carter shrugged. “We should have been more careful. We’ve looked all over the country for him. But it still isn’t worth someone getting hurt.” Carter said with obvious remorse. Then he turned to the teenage kid, and with a light-hearted tone, remarked, “Hey, cool beanie!”
The kid wore a red beanie with a yellow lightning bolt logo front and center. Unruly curls escaped the hat’s confines below, creating an especially charming picture when he grinned in response.
Geneva knew it was Carter’s way of trying to smooth things over, and he spent the next few minutes discussing the finer points of superhero culture. Rather educated on the topic herself, Geneva inserted a few comments as well, and soon the entire family was smiling. The brief exchange succeeded in getting the whole family to warm up to them, and Geneva felt all was forgiven. If only they hadn’t lost Jimmy!
“So, are you guys cops or something?” the older girl finally asked. “Why were you chasing that guy?”
“We know a little girl who has cancer,” Geneva explained. “That man is her dad, but he’s been gone for over two years and doesn’t know that she’s sick. It doesn’t look like she’s going to make it more than a few more days, and she wanted to see him before she passed. We’ve been searching all over for him. This is the first time we’ve found him, but he took off before we could even explain who we were. Now we have no idea where to find him, and we need to leave tomorrow.”
Geneva couldn’t keep the grief and desperation from her voice.
“Oh, no!” the woman and her daughters murmured softly.
“I know where he is.”
Geneva’s mouth dropped open, and she stared at the man, thinking she’d misheard.
“He’s my neighbor,” he continued confidently. “I don’t know him well, but that’s the reason I stepped in front of him. I saw him running and wanted to find out what the problem was.”
“You’ll give us his address?” Carter asked, his intense gaze on the other man.
“Sure,” he said, shrugging. “I’d wait until tomorrow morning to knock on his door, though. He works nights. There’s no guarantee that he headed back home. He’s always around in the mornings, though.”
Geneva took out her phone while the man rattled off the address and apartment number. She wrote it down and read it back to him twice, wanting to make sure she got it correct.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” Geneva said sincerely.
“We’ll be praying that it works out,” the woman said warmly.
“Can you let us know?” the younger girl asked. Then she turned to her mom. “I want to know if the little girl gets to see her daddy.”
Geneva’s throat felt raw. She desperately wanted to know the same thing, but now that they were so very close, they had to wait until tomorrow.
“If you give me your name and email address, I will be sure to let you know,” Geneva offered.
Geneva got contact information from both Ada and Kent, and they said
their goodbyes. Geneva and Carter wearily trudged toward the entrance once again, but this time at a much slower pace. Carter slipped his hand into hers and squeezed. “This will work out, Geneva. I know it. We just plowed over the only people who could tell us where to find Jimmy.”
“I hope so,” Geneva replied, unable to quite muster up the same certainty. Even though this was the most optimistic Carter had sounded the entire trip, she couldn’t help but remember what he’d said before. Sometimes God’s plans are not our plans. Our view of what we think is best is very limited compared to the whole picture God sees. Though Geneva could grant enough faith to know that in the long term there would be evidence of good in this situation, there was no guarantee that getting to the good would be pleasant, what she wanted, or even happen this side of heaven.
Right now, the only good she could imagine was that Allie got to see her dad on this side. It certainly looked like God might miraculously arrange to answer that prayer, but she somehow hesitated, wondering if the Almighty still planned a plot twist that completely countered all of Geneva’s definition of “good.”
Carter knocked firmly on the door.
Geneva held her breath waiting.
They heard movement inside, and Geneva felt a jolt of fear. “Is there a back door to this apartment?” she whispered. “What if he gets one look and takes off?”
Carter’s wide eyes returned her gaze, clearly saying he had no idea. They’d spent the night at a hotel, but neither one managed a good night’s sleep. They’d met for breakfast in the lobby as soon as they started serving, and then they made themselves wait, trying to time their arrival to an appropriate hour. In all that waiting, they’d never actually discussed a strategy or any “what if” scenarios. They didn’t have a plan other than to knock on the door at precisely eight o’clock and hope Jimmy opened it, welcoming them with open arms.
Now, Geneva panicked. The movement on the other side of the door stopped, and she had the distinct impression that an eye peered through the peephole directly at them.
He’s going to bolt again!
Sure that she would hear his frantic footsteps headed the opposite direction any second, she raised her voice, the words bursting out, “Jimmy, you aren’t in trouble! Your daughter, Allie, sent us!”