Friends Without Benefits

by Dena Blake

  * * *

  “Let me know when you’re done with these, and I’ll bring in some more,” Bill said as he and Emma carried two huge stacks of boxes in from the garage. Glo directed them to put them next to the tree with the rest of the decorations. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and Emma had always spent the day with her mother decorating the tree and making the inside of the house beautiful in holiday style.

  “When did you get here?” Glo pulled Emma into a hug. “I expected that you’d be off doing something with Dex.” She crossed the room to the boxes. “Or at least have brought her with you. She seems like a really sweet girl, offering to help your dad with the outside lights and all.”

  “Right. That’s happening tomorrow.” Bill swung around toward the door to the garage. “I’ll get the lights down. You two have fun.”

  “Don’t go back up in the attic without Emma out there with you.”

  He waved her off. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Dex is sweet. Sometimes too sweet, I think.” Emma headed into the kitchen to get something to drink.

  “There’s champagne and orange juice in the fridge for mimosas.”

  “Good. I need that today.” She mixed the mimosas and brought out two champagne flutes full to the brim.

  “What’s going on with you?”

  Emma flopped onto the couch. “Dex and I had a date to go ice-skating last night, and her friend, Grace, showed up.”

  “Oh, the needy one from Thanksgiving.” There was no question in her mother’s voice as to whom she was talking about.

  “Mom, I don’t know if I can do this again.” She honestly thought she’d be happily married by now. Instead she was dealing with the same situation she was in with her last relationship. She had no idea how she’d gotten here once more. Women should come with hugely visible warning labels, especially ones with best friends.

  “Emma, honey.” She sat down on the arm of the couch next to her. “Just because she’s close with her friend doesn’t mean she’s in love with her.” She put her arm around Emma and kissed the top of her head. “Every relationship isn’t going to end like yours and Amy’s. Maybe you should call Amy and talk to her about it. I’m sure she has some insight she can share.”

  She stiffened at the mention of Amy’s name. “No. That’s not happening.” The wound was as fresh as the day they’d split. She took in a deep breath. “Asking my ex-fiancée why she chose Tammy over me isn’t on the top of my list, Mom.”

  “It really has nothing to do with you. It’s about the feelings she had for her best friend.”

  “Feelings that apparently I couldn’t erase.” And didn’t see until Amy and Tammy were well on their way to a blissful life together.

  “Do you still avoid your favorite Italian restaurant downtown because of her?”

  She nodded. “The food there is overrated.” It was the place where Emma had proposed to Amy. She’d said yes and had made Emma the happiest she’d been in her life. But that was short-lived. It seemed as though that proposal had been the catalyst for Tammy to profess her love to Amy. Their last conversation flashed through her head in vivid color, and her stomach knotted.

  “You can’t blame yourself for Amy and whatshername. It wasn’t obvious with her.”

  “Looking back, I think there were signs.”

  “Signs, I’m assuming, you’ve seen with Dex as well.” Glo tilted her head. “So with all that in your past, why were you so drawn to Dex?”

  “You should’ve seen her at Brent and Grace’s wedding. She was totally devastated.” Emma let out a huge sigh as she remembered the night. She’d been so sweet and funny. The banter had just poured out of her even though she was totally plastered. Only once or twice did she seem solemn, and that was when Grace had appeared in her vision. If she hadn’t been so fucking drunk, Emma would’ve slept with her that night and probably never seen her again. Then she wouldn’t be in this mess.

  “Yet you still took her home and cared for her.” Glo tilted her head and flattened her lips. “And then went out on a date with her.”

  “I did take care of her.” She’d brought this all on herself. “She’s just so perfect, Mom. If I weren’t already gay, I’d probably turn just for her.” Emma was sure that if Grace liked women at all and had ever kissed Dex, she would never have let her go. “Grace must be crazy.”

  “Or just straight,” Glo said as she got up, opened one of the boxes, and took out a box of ornaments. “Have they ever…?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.” She’d thought about asking Dex a few times if she and Grace had ever had any kind of relationship other than friendship, but was afraid of what the answer might be. Despite being high maintenance, Grace was gorgeous and insanely sexy.

  Glo took out another box of ornaments and handed it to Emma. “After what you’ve been through with Amy, it’s only natural to be guarded about their friendship. Try not to let it get in the way.”

  “Too late.” Her voice rose into a fuck-me tone. “I left last night.” She took a gulp of her mimosa. “So I’m sure Grace had a wonderful time skating with Dex all by herself.”

  “What about Dex? Do you think she had a good time?” Glo gathered a few strands of garland and went across the room.

  “I don’t know.” She stood up and hung a couple of ornaments on the higher branches that her mother couldn’t reach. She seemed to be getting shorter in recent years. “She asked me to stay, but I just couldn’t. Not with Grace there. It was too much this time.”

  “Letting your pride get in the way again?”

  “If you want to call it that.” She let out a heavy breath. “This isn’t me, Mom. I don’t get so caught up in a woman that I can barely think, but I am with Dex. I’m flying into the curve with no brakes. I’d run away with her right now if she asked, and that would eventually be very bad for me. I was never like this with Amy.”

  “It sounds like you need to stand up for yourself and fight for her,” Glo said. She was good about making not-so-subtle suggestions.

  Her mother was probably right, but Grace fought dirty, and Emma had no idea how to go up against her. She’d been more than patient with the whole situation, and it hurt to know she wasn’t, and might never be, the most important person in Dex’s life.

  “Maybe so, but I shouldn’t have to beg her to want to be alone with me.”

  “I’m sure that’s not the case.” She hung scattered strings of garland across the tree. “She seemed genuinely happy to be here with you on Thanksgiving.”

  “That’s only because you took her phone and ran interference with Grace.”

  “Maybe she just needs time to let Grace go.”

  “I certainly hope so. If not, we’re done.”

  “Why don’t you go out with some of your friends or something to get your mind off her?”

  “Can’t. Amy took all my friends.”

  “What about work friends? You must have some of those.”

  “I have a few, but my best friend there is married to the problem.”

  “Oh, my. This is more complicated than I thought.”

  “Exactly.” Emma wished she could talk to Brent about it, but that might put a giant wedge between them. No one ever liked hearing the truth about their spouse, until it was too late.

  They hung the rest of the ornaments and decorated the living room with garland and lights. Glo had multiple Santa and angel statues, as well as a vintage manger scene they’d arranged throughout the main rooms of the house. The place appeared very festive, but Emma wasn’t feeling the spirit. The holiday season would be long and lonesome this year.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Dex chugged the last bit of coffee she’d picked up at McDonald’s on her way over to Emma’s parents’. She parked in front of the house and killed the engine. The holiday music that had been blaring through the speakers stopped, and the words to “Happy Holidays” rang in her head. She noted the lack of Emma’s car anywhere on the street. Happy fuck
ing holidays. The sinking feeling in her chest didn’t improve her mood, and the silence was suddenly deafening.

  She’d sent Emma a text yesterday, apologizing for the situation at the skating rink, but all she’d received in response were two words. I know. Dex’s day had been more than full yesterday, and she hadn’t had time to dwell on what Emma had meant. Everyone wanted their lights up now. Her workload was this way every holiday season, and Dex usually loved it, but so far this year she wasn’t feeling the Christmas cheer.

  Colored lights were flickering on and off in front of Bill as he sat on a stool in the garage behind his workbench. He seemed to be checking an enormous pile of light strings for dead bulbs, a task she never enjoyed. Dex glanced into the back seat of her SUV at the boxes she’d loaded this morning. She’d brought everything needed to decorate the house, including new LED lights, in case Emma’s dad wanted to update his display. She unfastened the ladder from the top of her SUV and carried it up the driveway, then leaned it against the house before stepping into the garage. The space was nice and toasty, thanks to the gas heater mounted on the outside wall. She noted the flat-screen TV and was sure this was Bill’s manctuary.

  As Dex entered the garage, she couldn’t help but admire how impeccably organized everything was. Screwdrivers hung on pegboard, in size order, wrenches just above them, and various power tools were slid into what appeared to be a handmade charging station on the wall above the bench.

  Bill turned around and stood up. “Hey there, young lady.” He reached out and shook her hand. The buzz cut he sported had been cut even shorter since she’d seen him last. The wild white hairs sprouting from his eyebrows caused her to wonder if he’d rolled out of bed just ten minutes before.

  “Good morning,” she said, still staring at the charging station. “Did you make that?”

  He grinned and puffed his chest out slightly. “I did. In fact, I just hung it this morning.” He brushed a stray curl of wood shaving from the bench.

  Dex slid her hand across the smooth wood finish. “It’s awesome.”

  “Thank you. It keeps the tools off the bench.” He seemed to watch her for a moment before he said, “Let’s go inside, say hello to Glo, and get you something warm to drink.” He opened the door and motioned her to go ahead of him.

  “Thanks.” Dex stepped inside, and the comfort hit her immediately, just as it had a few days before on Thanksgiving. The house was decorated beautifully, yet it was warm and inviting, just what she’d expected from a house that seemed so full of love.

  “You’re here.” Glo rushed in from the living room and swept her into a hug. “Are you hungry? I have eggs, or I can make pancakes.” She twisted her wrist to check the time. “Maybe a sandwich instead.” She automatically started taking lunchmeat and other sandwich makings out of the refrigerator. “You can’t work out in the cold without something in your stomach.”

  Dex smiled at her smothering, something she’d really never experienced as a child. Her parents were always on the go, working to help some good cause for someone else. “Thanks, but I already ate.” She’d scarfed down an Egg McMuffin on the way over.

  Glo loaded everything back into the refrigerator. “Okay, then. You’ll stay for dinner. I’m going to fix a nice pot roast, unless you don’t eat red meat. Then I can roast a chicken.”

  “I’d love to.” Dex smiled and nodded. “Pot roast sounds great.” Emma had told her about her mother’s scrumptious Sunday meals. The thought of seeing her later at dinner swam through her head, and her heartbeat quickened.

  By the time Dex went back outside, the two crew members she’d been able to round up to assist had arrived and were already wrapping the two trees in the yard with LED lights. She wasn’t sure if they’d gotten approval from Bill, but he was still smiling, which was a plus.

  Once the trees were done, they started on the house. They’d slid the hooks under the shingles and were halfway done hanging the lights when they hit a snag. Bill had plugged in the old-style bulb lights he’d given them and decided they didn’t match the new LEDs on the trees. He wanted to go with the new lights all around. Dex grinned at her crew of two and then started taking the old ones down while they went to the SUV and got the LEDs. This wasn’t the first time a client had changed their mind midstream. Dex would owe her guys a nice dinner out sometime since they were doing this for free as a favor to her. She wouldn’t make any money off Emma’s parents like some other companies probably would have. That wasn’t the way she did business with her friends and family.

  Emma’s brothers showed up between football games, just as Emma had said they would, but Dex and her crew had everything under control, and they left soon after. They were impressed by the lights and the design on the trees and mentioned they’d be happy if Emma kept her around, so she could do this every year. Emma still hadn’t shown, and Dex was left having dinner, alone, with her parents.

  When Dex and Bill came into the house they were met with the delicious scent of comfort food. She took off her gloves and knit hat and stuffed them both inside the sleeve of her jacket before she hung it on the oak hall tree by the door. An open bottle of red wine and a bowl of rolls sat on the table, and Dex was surprised at how disappointed she was to see only three place settings. She wasn’t going to get the chance to see Emma today.

  “Come in and sit down,” Glo said as she filled three bowls with pot roast and vegetables. She slid them across the counter before rounding it and moving them to the table. Dex jumped up to help, but Glo put her hand on her shoulder and pushed her into her seat.

  “Are you sure your crew can’t stay for dinner? I have plenty.”

  “They said thanks, but they needed to get home to their wives.”

  “Must be nice to have someone to go home to, right?” Glo was obviously feeling her out. “Do your parents live around here?”

  Dex took a bite and chewed before she answered. “They have a house nearby, but they’re rarely there.” She’d been living in Mary and Craig’s house since she was a child. As soon as she’d become an adult, she’d become the caretaker of sorts for the place. She’d renovated, repainted, and made it her own, finally moving into the master bedroom a few years ago when her parents made it clear they didn’t call any one particular place home anymore. Now, when her parents happened to be in town for a day or two, they took the guest room downstairs. Her brother Ranny had chosen the same life track, and on the off times when he showed up at the same time, he got the basement.

  Glo lifted her eyebrows, prompting Dex to continue.

  “They do a lot of voluntourism.” She swiped her mouth with the napkin. “You know, volunteer, see-the-world kind of stuff. My brother as well.”

  “Oh. That must be hard on you, especially during the holidays.”

  “Not anymore. My sister and I have gotten used to being orphans during the holidays.” She took a sip of wine. “Sometimes we get together with others we’ve worked with on charitable events around town, and we make new friends.”

  “So you volunteer here in Chicago?”

  She nodded. “The Food Bank, Habitat for Humanity. I keep it local.”

  “That’s very altruistic.”

  “I do what I can.” She pushed a carrot around in her bowl. “I don’t have a lot of money, but time is sometimes just as valuable.”

  Glo smiled softly. “Well, I’m happy Emma has you for a friend.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that. Since she may not be at this moment.” She set down her spoon, her stomach lingering somewhere between shaky and starved.

  “Why do you say that?” She looked across the table at Bill and saw him glance at Glo and pull his brows together. “You two seemed to be getting along famously at Thanksgiving.”

  “Oh yeah. We had a great time at Thanksgiving. Thanks again for inviting me.”

  Glo picked up a roll, buttered it, handed it to Bill, and then did the same for Dex as she seemed to wait for Dex to explain more.

  “You remember my f
riend, Grace? The one you helped through dinner?”

  She nodded. “Smart girl. Seemed to get the hang of it pretty quickly.” She took a bite of her dinner.

  “Well, she’s been my best friend since we were kids, and she’s not very self-sufficient.” Dex broke off a piece of the roll. “She can be a little needy.” She popped the piece into her mouth and waited to see which way her stomach was going to go. It seemed to settle for now.

  “I saw.” Glo picked up her wine and relaxed in her chair. “So what does this have to do with Emma?”

  Dex took another bite of roll and then a gulp of wine to wash it down. This wasn’t the way she’d expected her night to turn out. “We had plans to go ice-skating, which is something Grace and I have always done together in the past. Anyway, long story short, Grace ended up going with us.” She took another sip of wine.

  “So, you invited her?” Glo took another bite of her dinner.

  “Actually, no.” She hesitated. “I told her we were going and she showed up.”

  “And when she did, you included her.” Glo took another drink of wine and seemed to process the information. It probably wasn’t the first time she’d heard this story. “That was nice of you.”

  Dex blew out a breath. “I thought so, but Emma wasn’t happy about it, and Grace wasn’t very nice to her.” She stared down at her bowl and pushed some of the vegetables around. “Grace means well, but she can be pretty selfish sometimes.”

  “Sounds like you may need to set some boundaries with Grace.”

  “I know. It’s just hard with someone who…”

  “Who has a special place in your heart?” Glo asked, seeming to know what Dex was talking about.

  Dex nodded. “Yes.” She didn’t know why, but it felt good to talk this out with Glo.