The Soul of Time

by Jennifer Macaire

  Alexander mocked me gently as he swam in lazy circles. I found it difficult to swim with my missing hand; it was one of the rare times that I really felt its loss. So I only washed off and waded to shore. Then I dressed, lay back in the hammock, and stared at the children filling their baskets with berries, or looked towards the tranquil fjord where boats glided out to the open sea.

  I spoke little, but peace was creeping back into my soul. Gradually, I felt the knots loosen and ease, the tension in my muscles dissolved, and my smile came easier each day.

  I loved the knoll where my hammock was placed. The weird-woman chose it. She had insisted on moving me outside the village away from the noise and bustle.

  I was not far from the sauna and the lake and I could glimpse the sandy beach through the grove of birch and ash. The children had no fear of me. They offered me berries, chattering like sparrows as they filled their baskets, and they perched on the edge of my hammock to ask me hundreds of questions, questions I couldn’t understand or answer unless Paul was with me to translate.

  He was often at my side. He seemed to need the peace and quiet as much as I did. He sat on a mossy bank, surrounded by wildflowers, and whittled. Yovanix had taught him how to carve. Paul liked the feel of smooth wood. His pieces were not as detailed as Yovanix’s; he liked to make simple, polished things. Right now he was working on a bowl. It was cut from a chunk of maple, and the swirls and gnarls in the wood promised to make the bowl beautiful.

  We sat in companionable silence. There was not much to say. He’d come to accept that what he’d done was an accident. He was slower to forgive Plexis. I think he wanted to put the blame of what happened on someone else. Plexis would have taken all the blame if I’d have let him. However, I wouldn’t and Paul knew this. He would trust Plexis again. He was young and resilient. Already he confided to me that the whole thing seemed unreal.

  ‘If it weren’t for your hand and Yovanix, I would think that I’d just woken up after a bad dream,’ he’d said to me.

  The sun was a soft dapple on my body, warm where it touched my skin. I shifted in the hammock and closed my eyes. I was no longer afraid of sleep. Now when I shut my eyes I could often catch a glimpse of a green meadow and hear the faint sound of singing in the distance.

  I smiled as I slept.

  When I woke up the shadows had crept down to the water’s edge. Paul was gone, in his place sat Alexander. Of all of us, he was the one who had gained the most from the trip. He’d recovered his soul. His throat had healed admirably. Thanks to Plexis’s careful stitching, his scar would soon fade to nothing. Already it was just a faint pattern around the base of his neck.

  ‘Ah, finally!’ he said.

  ‘Were you waiting for me to wake?’ I asked, sitting up and chasing the last bit of sleep from my eyes.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Why didn’t you rouse me?’

  ‘And spoil the picture you made? No, I couldn’t. You looked so peaceful, as if you were in a marvellous world all by yourself.’ His voice held a faint note of jealousy in it. He wanted to share every second of my life. The idea that I could go somewhere wonderful without him obviously rankled. He was funny that way.

  I smiled at him. ‘I was in an enchanted place, and you were there with me. That’s why I was so slow waking.’

  ‘Ah.’ He beamed. ‘Well, that’s good. I’ve come to get you. There’s someone who wants to speak to you.’

  ‘Who?’ I got out of the hammock and unhooked it from the tree. I rolled it into a tight bundle and tucked it under my arm. ‘Where is this person? Is it the weird-woman again?’

  ‘No, not her.’ He flipped his hand, dismissing the weird-woman to the shadows. ‘You’ll see.’ He tried to look mysterious; he loved surprises. However, he couldn’t keep a secret. ‘It’s someone you’ve wanted to talk to for a long time.’

  ‘Is it Yovanix?’ I stopped. ‘Is he, did he, I mean …’

  Alexander gave my shoulders a fond squeeze. ‘He’s better, finally mending. He’s been asking for you for a couple days.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I asked.

  ‘Oh, it was the weird-woman, always by his side, always talking to him. But now she’s asked me to get you.’

  ‘So you waited until I woke up. How long ago did she tell you to fetch me?’

  He shrugged. ‘A few hours ago? I don’t know, but you were too peaceful to disturb. I love watching you sleep.’ His voice lowered and he grinned. ‘You looked so … harmless.’

  I hit him on the arm. ‘Harmless?’

  He chuckled, ducking away. ‘That’s what I said, my volcano princess. Do you remember I called you that once? You nearly drowned me. I still laugh when I think of it.’

  I eyed him sourly. ‘You called me a “volcano princess”?’

  ‘Yes, it was in a river. We were swimming, and you told me that you were called the Ice Queen.’

  ‘That was just something some horrible boy once wrote on the bathroom wall in high school!’ I cried.

  He put his finger across my lips. ‘Hush. Then we made love. Do you remember the first time we made love?’ We stopped beneath the sweeping branches of a willow tree. ‘We were in my tent. You were drunk, I think, on unwatered wine. You threw yourself on me.’

  ‘I what?’

  ‘Well, we sort of threw ourselves on each other.’ He sighed and I heard a shiver in his voice. ‘And then we made love. You were crying and saying all sorts of silly things, like how much you wanted to stay, and how you hated to leave me. Then we went swimming in the river and you put your face in the hollow of my throat, right here.’

  I moved towards him as if in a dream. Our lips touched, so softly, then I pressed my cheek against his throat. I traced his collarbones with my finger, then closed my eyes and breathed in his warm scent. My face did fit perfectly into the hollow of his neck. ‘I remember everything except being called a “volcano princess”,’ I said.

  ‘When you sleep, your face is so soft you look like a young girl. There is something almost painful about the joy I feel when I watch over you, knowing you’re carrying a baby inside your belly, knowing that you’re mine. I took you from the Time-Senders, and I’ll never let you go.’ He trembled as he spoke, holding me so tightly my bones cracked.

  ‘What is the matter?’ I asked. Something about him was frightening me.

  ‘It’s Paul.’ He stepped backwards and looked down at me. ‘I want to be the one to tell you, I don’t want him to have to.’

  ‘What is it?’ My heart started to pound. Alexander was looking at me so seriously

  ‘The villagers want Paul to stay here. Here in Orce.’

  There was a pause. Then his words sank in. ‘No,’ I whispered, ‘No! He can’t, I won’t let him. Alex! Why?’ I dropped my hammock and clung to him. My heart was breaking. He looked at me and his eyes were bleak.

  ‘Because it’s his home,’ he said slowly. ‘You know that. Search your heart. Isn’t this truly the land of your ancestors?’

  I felt my knees giving away and I sagged against my husband. He held me easily; his arms were strong. ‘Alex, I can’t. I can’t leave him here. I won’t. If he stays, I will stay with him.’

  ‘What about Chiron and Cleopatra? They need you. They have been waiting now for nine months. Will you abandon them?’

  ‘No, of course not! They can come here; we can all stay here. Alex, what are you trying to tell me?’

  ‘It’s the wise woman, she made a prophecy. She says he will found a dynasty here. She said his people will be called Vikings. They will travel as far as a new world to leave their mark.’

  ‘And Paul listened to her.’ I closed my eyes. ‘Why must life be so difficult? All I want is to live in peace with my whole family. I want to grow old and bounce my grandchildren on my knees. Why is this happening to me?’ My voice broke.

  ‘I suppose we could stay,’ Alexander sounded doubtful.

  I looked up at him and nearly laughed. ‘You have already accepted h
er words as fact,’ I said.

  ‘Well, yes.’

  ‘Paul is a child,’ I said, drawing myself up straight and brushing the tears out of my eyes. ‘He will come with us now. We’ll make sure he gets back here on his twenty-first birthday, when he’s old enough to found a dynasty.’

  ‘Well, I started when I was sixteen …’ Alexander scratched his head and grinned.

  ‘Don’t you dare say another word,’ I sputtered. ‘I’ll handle this.’

  ‘I knew you were going to say that.’ He smiled tenderly at me. ‘A mother wolf would be less dangerous than you when you feel your children are threatened.’

  ‘I think it’s a wonderful thing that Paul will live here and found a dynasty. But until he’s a man, he stays with us.’ I straightened my shoulders and sighed. ‘You’re going to have to tell the wise woman that we’ll make sure he gets back here in time to accomplish her prediction, all right?’

  ‘All right.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Shall we hurry? I was supposed to bring you back before sunset.’

  I looked at the long shadows lying on the ground and shook my head. ‘We might make it back before sunrise if we hurry.’

  Chapter Twenty

  Yovanix was recuperating. He was sitting by the hearth, drinking from a wooden bowl. I recognized the one Paul had made. He heard us coming and turned to face us. He wore a linen bandage over his eyes. Around his throat was a bandage as well, but the wound was healing at last.

  ‘My Lady?’ he asked, tilting his head to the side. He kept trying to see.

  I sighed. I kept trying to reach for things. We would get over it, I supposed. ‘I’m here. Call me Ashley, will you? It’s my name.’ I tried to keep the sorrow out of my voice but I couldn’t.

  He put the bowl down carefully and reached his hands towards me. I took them and held them to my cheek. He didn’t know I’d lost a hand, so when he touched the bandage he jerked in surprise. ‘What happened?’ he asked.

  ‘It was an accident,’ I said. ‘You look better. How are you feeling?’

  ‘Much better, I assure you.’ His voice was not very strong. His throat still hurt. He took a deep breath then pulled me into his arms.

  I put my face on his shoulder and started to weep. I cried and cried, tears wetting his tunic and dripping down his chest while he patted my back awkwardly and murmured in my ear.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to blame you. I’m sorry if I hurt you.’

  ‘You didn’t hurt me, you saved my life. You did it although you thought I’d come to kill you. Don’t you understand? You’re the hero of this tale. You were a prisoner of the Eaters of the Dead. They meant to sacrifice you, and I nearly killed you. I was so frightened that I didn’t dare look at the people I was slaying,’ I sobbed.

  ‘Don’t cry. You killed the monsters of the night and set me free.’ His voice broke. ‘Voltarrix captured me, he wanted to make me one of them. I was fed nothing but raw flesh. I refused to eat, but sometimes my thirst was so great I couldn’t help but drink the blood.’

  I held my breath. His voice was little more than a whisper in my ear. ‘Go on,’ I said.

  ‘I had given up hope when they brought the child into the cave. I was dying of thirst and hunger. They were going to kill him and feed him to me, to make me one of them. I knew that if they gave me one morsel of his flesh, I would eat it. I would become like them. I think my mind snapped then, like a dried branch with too much weight upon it. I couldn’t bear the pain or the terror any longer. Then you and Paul came, gliding through the frozen darkness, shimmering like wraiths. I saw a knife flash, and I think I prayed you would kill me then. I waited for the end to come. It was just different from what I expected, that’s all.’ He was silent.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ It was all I could say.

  ‘Don’t be. I’m not, at least not any more. At first I was out of my mind with terror, and then I started to see a light. Now, sometimes, I find myself in a meadow and it is the most beautiful place I ever saw. When I need it most, it appears to me.’

  ‘Do you see anyone there?’ I asked, hesitantly.

  ‘The first time I saw the meadow my brother Anoramix was there,’ he said quietly. ‘He was walking through knee-deep grass, his head down, like he used to when he was thinking about something. Then he raised his head and saw me. He was surprised at first. He looked closer and smiled, although tears came to his eyes. He spoke to me, but I don’t remember what he said. All I can recall is an immense feeling of peace and tranquillity. He walked right up to me and touched my face. I told him he looked well, and he laughed. Since then, I am always alone in the meadow, but I know he is watching me. I feel his presence all the time. It comforts me.’

  I nodded. ‘I’ve seen it too. And when I’m there I have both my hands.’

  ‘Perhaps it’s the paradise the gods promised us,’ said Yovanix.

  ‘If it is, then it’s a place we have inside our minds, all of us,’ I said.

  He was quiet, thinking. ‘If that is true, it is the greatest comfort I will ever know.’ He rested his head on my shoulder and we stayed like that until the fire burned low and Paul came in to bring us to dinner.

  After that, Yovanix and I were often together. His hammock swayed next to mine, and we talked most of the day. His Greek was excellent and he started to teach me some Celtic, although I still thought it sounded more like clay pots breaking than a language. He started to whittle again. He couldn’t see, but he could feel, and the animals he made were just as beautiful as before. He even started to play chess with Paul, using the peg-board he’d made on the ship. We talked about what we wanted to do and where we wanted to go.

  ‘Homer was blind,’ said Yovanix, ‘yet he voyaged extensively. I always wanted to travel.’

  ‘I want you to stay with us,’ said Paul. ‘You’re part of our family now.’

  Yovanix grinned, ‘Your family is big enough already.’

  ‘And getting bigger,’ Paul agreed, reaching over and patting my tummy fondly. He was in my hammock lying next to me, one foot on the ground to make us swing.

  ‘Demos and Phaleria are talking about getting married,’ I told them.

  ‘I know,’ Yovanix answered. ‘They want to live on the dragon boat and trade up and down the coast. Demos wants to make a trip to Alexandria first.’

  I smiled, my face in the sun. ‘Phaleria is going to take us all back home on her boat.’

  ‘Are we going to sail all the way back?’ Paul’s voice was high with excitement. ‘Will we go to Iberia? And Carthage? Will we? Oh, may we, Mother?’

  ‘I thought you were supposed to stay here and found a dynasty,’ I teased.

  ‘Your idea sounds much better,’ said Paul. ‘I’ll sail home with you and we’ll travel, visiting Rome and Pompeii, just like you said. Then when I’m grown, I’ll return to Orce.’ He scratched his chin. ‘I’m not in any hurry to grow up. I think I’d rather travel, like Yovanix. Besides, I promised Yovanix that I’d describe everything I saw to him, so he could see it too. Mother, I promised I’d be his eyes. Can I go? Can Yovanix come with us?’

  ‘I wouldn’t leave you two behind for the world,’ I said, hugging him tightly. ‘Now stop swinging, my stomach is feeling queasy again.’

  ‘You and father are going to have a rough trip,’ said Paul.

  ‘I’ve never been seasick in my life,’ I laughed.

  I was horribly seasick.

  The boat rolled and heeled, and I moaned and clutched my stomach. Pregnancy made me ill. It was dreadful. For the first time I could really sympathize with my husband who was lying next to me. He was seasick, I was ill, and we both moaned in unison when the boat slewed sideways over a huge wave. Above us on deck, I heard Paul’s excited shouts, Demos’s deeper voice, and Nearchus laughing delightedly at something. The boat rolled again, and I closed my eyes tightly and tried not to feel so dreadfully ill. My bed was soft and comfortable, if only it would stop moving back and forth. I huddled into my cover
s and tried to take my mind off my nausea.

  The voyage had started three days ago. We’d left after the village gave a huge feast in our honour. Paul was presented to all the neighbouring tribes who’d come to see us off. He celebrated his eleventh birthday and was renamed in a ceremony by the old wise woman, who was also the chieftain of the valley. Now they called him Finder of Souls, and they would wait for him to return and take his place in their clan. He would live in the longhouse and marry a Valerian girl and, according the wise woman, his children’s children would sail to a new world and bring renown to his tribe.

  I was getting used to prophecies and soothsaying, although I can’t say I believed in them. Paul was coming with us, and if he wanted to return to Scandinavia when he was grown, fine, he could. It was true he fit in well with the people of Orce. He spoke their language already, learning with the ease of a child. Physically he resembled them, and they obviously adored him. For his birthday they gave him many gifts: two blankets woven in bright colours; bracelets of amber; a helmet – too big for him, but he’d grow into it; a short sword- Alexander winced when he saw it, but Paul promised to be careful; a sacred rock – a whole meteorite, about ten centimetres in diameter and fascinating; a narwhal’s horn; a beautiful belt carefully worked in leather and copper; and a puppy.

  Paul was speechless with delight. Ever since losing Cerberus he’d taken great pains not to look at the many dogs that populated the village, but I’d seen his sorrowful glances. He missed his hound, so Alexander and I had found him a puppy.

  Paul stared at the pointed nose, the round eyes, and the triangular ears standing straight up on his head. ‘He’s wonderful,’ he breathed. ‘What kind is it?’

  ‘I think it’s a sort of Spitz,’ I said doubtfully. ‘Look at his tail, it curls like a corkscrew over his back.’ The puppy was only two months old and very small and wiggly. He had soft, dark grey fur on his back, a cream-coloured belly and chest, and four white socks.