Craving Lily

by Nicole Jacquelyn

  “What’s Aunt Farrah going to do? Ground me?” she laughed, even though we both knew it was a possibility. Our parents had pretty much shared responsibility for punishing us since we were little. We were together so often and they trusted each other so much that usually if one of us was in trouble, they just punished both of us at the same time. The worst part about it was that Aunt Callie could take away TV at their house and my mom would enforce it at our house. It sucked.

  “Brent’s actually an okay guy,” I said, reaching around her for another stack of clothes. “I’m not sure why he stood me up, but I don’t think he wanted to.”

  “Dude had a pretty solid black eye when he came to school, so you could be right.”

  “Do you think he got jumped or something?” I asked, marking down the clothes I’d just packed. My mom liked to have exact numbers so she could write in the donations on her taxes.

  “Nah, not with only a black eye. He seemed fine otherwise. That’s how I knew that none of the guys got to him.”

  I laughed. “You actually thought that?”

  “I wondered,” she said. “Especially after Leo swooped in and spent the night cheering you up.”

  “Good grief.”

  “Well, he did magically show up to save the day,” she said, elbowing me in the side.

  “Coincidence.”

  “What’s going on with you two?”

  “Bravo,” I said, laughing.

  “What?”

  “You held out for an entire week before you asked about it.” I clapped like I was giving her a round of applause.

  “I was too busy letting you grovel to ask you about the gorgeous older man you’ve been lusting after for years.”

  “Not years,” I argued.

  “At least two years,” she countered.

  “Fine.”

  “Well?”

  I sighed and fell back onto my ass. I needed to take a break anyway. “We got into a fight.”

  “You’re not still fighting, I can tell,” she said knowingly.

  “Nope.” I grinned and rolled my eyes. “He said he’s going to stop seeing the blonde girl.”

  “Ashley?”

  “Is that her name? I didn’t ask,” I said, even though I was perfectly aware of her name.

  I started to fold more clothes, but stopped when Rose smacked a shirt out of my hands.

  “What does that mean?” she whispered, glancing at the closed door between the garage and the house. “Are you two a thing now?”

  “I don’t know,” I replied, shrugging. “We didn’t really work that part out.”

  “Well, what did he say?”

  “That I didn’t have to worry about seeing him with other people as long as I wasn’t with other people.”

  “Holy shit,” she breathed. “Leo’s the jealous type.”

  “Are you surprised?” I asked dryly.

  “Not at all. But still, that’s nuts. I mean, I knew you guys had a thing, but I didn’t realize it was going to be a thing.”

  “Why do you and my mom think that changing the tone of your voice changes the meaning of a word?” I asked.

  “Stop changing the subject. What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I haven’t talked to him since I’ve been on house arrest, but the ball is in his court.”

  “Uncle Casper is going to flip.”

  “I accidently told my dad about the kiss—”

  “Wait,” she yelled, her eyes wide. “Back up. What kiss?”

  * * *

  An hour later, Rose had finally worn my mom down enough that I could actually leave the house.

  “You can go with Rose to Tommy’s,” my mom said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Then straight home.”

  Rose raised her fist and knocked her knuckles against mine as we hurried out the front door. Her car was parked haphazardly in the driveway, and we scrambled to get inside before my mom changed her mind. In less than a minute, we were barreling down the highway.

  “I’m not sure who’s going to be there,” Rose warned. “You might want to fix your hair.”

  “Good call.” I reached up and tried to get my mop of black hair into some sort of a style. Thankfully, I’d had years to perfect styling it without looking in a mirror, so by the time we parked on Tommy’s street, I was reasonably sure that it looked okay.

  “Whoa,” I murmured as we stepped onto the sidewalk. “There’s a ton of people here.”

  “Yeah, I think it’s Hawk’s birthday. We’re having dinner at my house in a few days to celebrate.”

  Rose strode toward the front door like she was meant to be there, when I knew for a fact that she hadn’t been invited. She’d overheard her brothers talking about it a couple days before, and as soon as I’d given her the story about Leo, she’d become convinced that we needed to go to the party and make sure he hadn’t brought his girlfriend.

  My cousin wasn’t exactly trusting of the male gender when it came to fidelity. We knew a lot of men who were faithful to their wives, but I couldn’t argue whenever she pointed out that wives were different than girlfriends… or whatever I was. We’d been around too often when her brothers and other guys from the club had been complete man-whores.

  “Dang,” she said quietly as we pushed our way into the house.

  The music was loud, and the people were even louder as we made our way toward the back of the house. I didn’t know anyone in the living room or the entryway, but they still gave us space to move between them as Rose navigated through the mass of people.

  When we finally reached the kitchen, we found everyone we’d come to see. They were standing around the counter laughing as they took shots of tequila. My sister-in-law Trix’s face screwed up in disgust, but she didn’t quickly chase the booze with something softer the way Hawk and Molly did.

  “The party can start,” Rose announced, getting everyone’s attention. “I’m here!”

  She was so much like my mother that I sometimes wondered if we’d been switched as infants.

  “The hell are you doing here?” Will growled, looking past Rose to scowl at me.

  “Hey, I’m just along for the ride,” I protested, trying not to laugh. He looked so pissed, and I’d always had a hard time keeping a straight face when the older boys got angry. They were all bark and absolutely zero bite when it came to me and Rose.

  “Baby sister,” Cam said, stepping around Trix. “Ma know you’re here?”

  “Actually, yes,” I answered as he pulled me under his arm.

  “Does she know there’s a party goin’ on?”

  “Well,” I hedged. “I’m not sure if Mom knows or not.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “You drinking?” Hawk asked, lifting the tequila bottle and shaking it from side to side.

  “No!” almost every voice in the kitchen answered.

  “Well, that’s not very hospitable,” Rose complained.

  “You’re lucky we’re not tossing your little asses out,” Tommy replied, pointing his beer bottle at her.

  “We can stay?” Rose asked, a huge grin on her face.

  Instead of answering her, he hopped on the counter and stood there with his head brushing the light. It was a good thing their ceilings were so high, or he would have knocked himself out.

  “Hey,” he yelled, grabbing everyone’s attention. “I see anyone givin’ either of these girls a drink or anythin’ else, you’ll deal with me.” He looked around the room, making eye contact with people. “And then I’ll hand you off to my brother.”

  “Oh, my God,” I mumbled in embarrassment as my brother’s body shook with laughter.

  “How’s all that hard labor been treatin’ ya?” Cam asked, giving my shoulder a little shake.

  “Sucks,” I replied as Trix handed me a soda and conversations started back up around us. “But I think she’s letting up.”

  “Honestly, I think she’s just been worried,” Cam said, kissing my head. “Groundi
ng you meant she could keep an eye on you.”

  “You think?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “Callie went off the deep end when they were younger, and I know Ma did, too. She’s just trying to make sure you don’t.”

  “I won’t.”

  “You’ve been moping around since you got your sight back,” Trix said, cocking her head to the side. “Seems like you’d be doing cartwheels.”

  “I’m happy about it,” I protested, looking around the room. “I’m just having a hard time with all the shit that comes with it.”

  “Big adjustment,” Trix agreed.

  “I’m just like everyone else now,” I said, saluting her with my soda. “But, not.”

  “That asshole have anything to do with your whining?” Cam asked, nodding toward Leo.

  “Oh, shut it.”

  “Cam,” Trix scoffed.

  “What? He keeps lookin’ over here. You think I don’t know what’s goin’ on? I see that Ashley’s missin’ tonight.”

  “She better be,” I mumbled.

  “What’s that, baby sister?”

  “Mind your own business.”

  “You are my business,” he said, wrapping his massive arm around my head in an annoying version of a headlock. “You’ll always be my business.”

  “Get off of me,” I screeched, pulling at his arm.

  “Make me.”

  “Oh, good. We’ve reverted back to grade school,” Trix said in annoyance. “Leave her alone, Cam.”

  “Such a baby,” Cam complained as he let me go.

  “I’m sorry, your brother’s a pain in the ass when he’s drinking.”

  “Yeah, no shit.”

  “I’m a pain in the ass, huh?” Cam asked, taking a step toward Trix. “You poor thing.”

  “Don’t do it,” Trix warned, laughing as she stepped backward. “Cameron, I’m not joking.”

  “You’re not?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “You sure?”

  I slipped away as Cam threw Trix over his shoulder and strode out of the room, her screams getting lost in the music and people.

  The rest of the group was still standing around the counter talking as I found a spot between Leo and Molly. Will was telling a story about something that happened in the garage that week, but I barely paid attention as Leo’s eyes found mine.

  “Hey, Dandelion,” he said quietly, a small smile making his eyes crinkle at the corners. “They finally let you out, huh?”

  “Yeah.” I leaned a little closer until our arms were barely touching.

  “Everything good?”

  “You’re here alone?”

  “Yeah.” He gave a decisive nod.

  “Then everything’s good.”

  He chuckled under his breath and winked at me, and it was like the freaking sun had come out for the first time in months.

  “Hey, now,” Tommy said, pointing at us. “What I said goes for you, too.”

  “Shut up, Tommy,” I ground out.

  “I’m not gonna be givin’ her anythin’,” Leo said in disgust.

  “Better not be,” Will said.

  “Oh, whatever,” Rose piped in. “Hey, where’s that hot blonde guy that was hanging around the club for a while?”

  “Say what?” Will asked, glaring at his sister.

  “Think she means Copper,” Leo answered, his lips twitching.

  “Oh, fuck no,” Tommy yelled.

  “What?” Rose asked innocently, meeting my eyes for just a second in solidarity. “He’s one hot piece of male meat.”

  “Word,” Hawk agreed, nodding.

  “You’ll stay the fuck away from him,” Tommy ordered.

  “Eh, we’ll see.” Rose shrugged.

  As they argued, I felt Leo’s hand tangle with mine, giving it a squeeze before he rested it back on the counter. A few minutes later, I slipped away and outside onto the small back porch. Tommy’s house looked brand new, but his huge yard was still an overgrown mess. He was planning on working on it next summer, and I was pretty sure by the time he was done with it, it would look like something out of a magazine. My cousin never did anything half-assed.

  “I wondered where you’d snuck off to,” I heard behind me after just a few minutes.

  I smiled as Leo came up beside me and rested his elbows on the railing next to mine.

  “Having fun?” I asked, glancing up at him.

  “Night’s better now that you showed up.”

  “Of course it is. I’m awesome.”

  “You sound like Farrah.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “I meant it as one.”

  We went silent then, and I had no idea what to say. Things had always been so easy between us, but now it was as if we had all of these unsaid things making it impossible to chatter about nothing.

  “How have you been?” he asked quietly, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette.

  “Better.” I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he lit up and took a deep drag. “My dad thinks that I should go back to therapy.”

  “Might not be a bad idea,” he pointed out. “What do you think?”

  “I think I’ve had enough therapy to last my entire life.”

  “Could help, though.”

  “Maybe.”

  He was quiet for a minute, then turned his head to look at me. “You can talk to me, Dandelion. You know that, right?”

  “I know.”

  “About anythin’, any time.”

  “I know.”

  “So what’s new, then? You get into all the colleges you applied to?”

  “Most of them,” I answered quietly, my stomach clenching at the thought of going anywhere. “Now I just need to figure out who will give the best scholarship.”

  “Gettin’ scholarships, too?” He whistled quietly like he was impressed.

  “Of course,” I grinned proudly. “I applied for every one I could think of. Grants, too.”

  “Smart.”

  “I just don’t want my parents going into debt so that I can go to some fancy school.” I shrugged.

  “You know they’ll do whatever they have to. Ain’t every day that you raise a genius. You gotta nurture that.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I’d been hearing different versions of that my entire life. I knew my family was proud of me, but honestly, I’d never really felt any different than my siblings and cousins. I had my parents to thank for that.

  “So, what schools are at the top of your list?” Leo asked, looking away.

  “U of O, of course.”

  “Of course,” he said with a smile.

  “But, the University of Washington, too. And Yale. Did you know my dad went to Yale? He’s pushing for that, even though the tuition is ridiculous.”

  “Yale.” Leo shook his head. “What a trip.”

  “I got in to three Ivy League schools,” I confessed with a sigh. “But even if I got the scholarships I applied for, I’d still have massive amounts of tuition to cover.”

  “Worth it, though.”

  “I’d also be across the country.” The thought of that made my chest ache.

  “Only for a few years.”

  “Only?”

  “You could do it,” he said seriously, elbowing me gently. “You’d have the whole damn world at your feet with a diploma from a school like that.”

  “What if I don’t want the world at my feet?”

  “Can’t imagine why you wouldn’t.”

  “Maybe I just want you,” I said quietly. I was watching him so closely that I knew the second he stopped breathing.

  He turned to me, the light from the windows illuminating the scarred side of his face, and I tipped up my chin as he leaned forward until our noses were nearly touching.

  “You’ve got me,” he said, his hand sliding across my belly until it reached my hip. “Don’t matter where you are, beautiful.”

  “Leo,” I groaned into his mouth as his lips finally met mine. His hands stayed where they were,
one gripping the railing and the other wrapped around my hip, but the kiss was just as overwhelming as our first. I inhaled the scent of him, my hands resting on the sides of his cut, and I let the feeling of his mouth on mine seep into every pore of my body. The kiss was a promise, it was reassurance and possession all at once.

  It was everything I’d been waiting for and something I hadn’t even known existed.

  “Hate to break up the party,” Rose called quietly from the back door, breaking the spell. “But Cam and Trix must be done bumping uglies because he’s searching the house for you, Lil.”

  I pulled my lips from Leo’s and made a noise of disgust. I didn’t want to ever hear about my brother bumping anything.

  “Thanks, Rose,” I mumbled, dropping my head against Leo’s chest.

  “I’ll just hang out here until you decide to go in,” she said, closing the door behind her. “No need for blood to spill.”

  “It’s all good,” Leo replied, kissing the top of my head before pulling away. “I’m gonna head out.”

  “What, no,” I protested.

  “Yeah.” He leaned down and gave me a quick peck on the lips. “We can finish this conversation later.”

  I stood there dumbly as he hopped over the railing and made his way around the side of the house.

  “Damn, that guy is hot,” Rose said, wrapping her arm around my shoulder as we stared at where Leo had disappeared. “I mean, I always thought he was, but the way he looks at you makes him a thousand times hotter.”

  “I think,” I said roughly, clearing my throat. “I think that was the beginning.”

  “Of what?”

  “Of everything.”

  Chapter 13

  Leo

  Every time Lily smiled, I felt it in my chest. The feeling reminded me of the few times I’d had the wind knocked out of me. That split second of almost panic before I’d realize that I just had to give my body a second to adjust.

  I’d seen her a lot in the last month, and I swear whenever people saw us together, they watched us like animals in a zoo. The boys couldn’t believe that Casper was letting his baby spend time with me. Hell, I couldn’t believe it either.

  I also couldn’t believe how innocent our time together was. We went for rides. She sat next to me while I worked. We listened to music in my room, with the door open. I took her out to eat, took her to the pumpkin patch and let myself get lost in a corn maze with her. I even picked her up from school a few times and took her home when I knew that I wouldn’t be able to see her otherwise.