Text Wars: May the Text be With You ... (An Accidentally in Love Story Book 3)

by Whitney Dineen

  Subject: Segment Pitches

  * * *

  Dear Waltraut,

  * * *

  Dr. Williams and I had a productive meeting regarding the three segment pitches last night. The following three concepts will be weeks one through three:

  1) I’ll discuss decorating for your star sign and Dr. Williams will talk about the interiors of rockets. (We would both love to do this one first.)

  2) NASA’s use of radial velocity (gravitational pull/the tug of war between a planet and the star it orbits) will tie nicely into the upcoming dating feature on my app. I’ll use it to show how people with different star signs are often attracted to each other.

  3) NASA’s efforts in pioneering safe and efficient space travel while traversing electromagnetic waves. I’ll pair this with the best modes of transportation for your star sign.

  * * *

  All the best,

  Serafina

  Email from: Waltraut.Hemper@WakeUpAmerica.com

  To: Serafina.Lopez@StarSign.Com cc: Ben.Williams@GoddardInstitute.com

  * * *

  Subject: RE: Segment Pitches

  * * *

  Hi Serafina and Ben,

  * * *

  Sure, let’s start with #1. Our viewers always love a good decorating segment. See you Monday morning at 5 a.m. sharp.

  * * *

  Waltraut

  TEXT from ObiWan: Are you serious? You pitched her the idea I gave a hard no to?

  * * *

  StarNut: You’re the one who walked out on our dinner. I figured you didn’t want to be bothered making the final decision.

  * * *

  ObiWan: So this is some sort of petty revenge? I thought we’d decided on the traveling segment.

  * * *

  StarNut: I told you Waltraut wanted three pitches.

  * * *

  ObiWan: For someone who pretends she wants us to get along, you’re certainly doing everything possible to see that this is going to be a disaster.

  * * *

  StarNut: Is that some kind of implied threat?

  * * *

  ObiWan: I’m merely notifying you of the consequences of your actions in order to assist you in making better choices.

  I stare at our exchange, waiting for her to write back. Forget it, Ben. Get back to work. You’ve got the final frontier to explore and it’s not getting done while you spar with this woman. Your team is counting on you. Although, should I really feel bad for wasting time on something that is apparently part of my job? After all, I’m not the one who got myself into this mess. It’s Dev’s fault.

  Irritation courses through every cell in my body as it has since I walked out of the restaurant last night. I’m currently in the cafeteria, having a large coffee with extra cream and sugar to help get me through the afternoon. According to my smart watch, I only had fifteen minutes of deep sleep last night, which I’d say is accurate based on my level of exhaustion today.

  I laid awake until well after three a.m., replaying my dinner meeting with Serafina, specifically the part when I tossed the money on the table and walked out. I’ve never done something so rude in my life, but honestly, that woman brings out the worst in me. I mean, it would be one thing if she were a half-wit. Then I could almost forgive her for clinging to these ridiculous beliefs. But someone intelligent spouting zodiac nonsense? That’s just madness. “She has the mental capacity to know better. It’s just such a … waste,” I mutter.

  Alec sits down on the other side of the table, interrupting the mental tirade I’ve been repeating for the last eighteen hours. He breaks off a piece of his daily two p.m. cranberry-orange muffin and pops it in his mouth. Alec is nothing if not a creature of habit.

  “What’s up?”

  He grins. “I couldn’t help but notice you’re talking to yourself, so I thought I’d eavesdrop.”

  “It was a private conversation,” I tell him with a wry smile.

  “Serafina Lopez has really gotten under your skin, hasn’t she?”

  “Of course not,” I lie. “I just … didn’t sleep well.”

  “Riiight,” he says, “and the earth is flat …”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Throwing his hands into the air, he says, “Fine, I won’t push it.”

  I give a firm nod, then have another sip of my coffee. “It’s just frustrating because she could be doing so much more with her life. She’s bright. Really bright.”

  “Not to mention good-looking.”

  “That too,” I agree before I can stop myself.

  “I knew you liked her,” Alec says with a satisfied smile.

  “I could never be with someone like her,” I say, bouncing my right leg so quickly my whole body starts vibrating. “I’d sooner date Dev.”

  “He’s married, so …”

  “Ha-ha,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “She’s not what’s got me all agitated. I’m pissed I have to do these stupid morning show segments. I didn’t spend twenty-one years of my life in school just to be a performing monkey for a bunch of stay-at-home moms and retirees. I graduated at the top of my class at MIT, for God’s sake. The very top!” I hold my hand up as though measuring height. “If I’d known this was what the team leader job was all about, I wouldn’t have accepted it. It’s bad enough that Serafina is wasting her brain, but now mine is being dragged into this idiocy.”

  “Must be awful,” Alec says, pulling off another piece of his muffin.

  “It is.” It’s nice to know someone understands.

  “Spending time with a beautiful woman … all those ladies online calling you the Astro-hotty … What a nightmare,” he adds, tossing the piece in his mouth.

  “No one likes a smart-ass, Alec,” I tell him.

  “Suck it up, Princess. Your life’s not that bad.” He swallows before adding, “You know who else graduated at the top of his class at MIT? Me. And I did it three years before you. And I’ve been on this team for four years longer than you, but I still lost the team leader position to you which totally blows because if I were you, I’d be making the most of my fifteen minutes.”

  Guilt gives me a good whack on the back of my head. I shouldn’t be complaining to Alec about this. “Sorry.”

  “What are you going to do?” he says with a shrug.

  Scratching the back of my neck, I ask, “What would you do with your fifteen minutes if you were me?”

  “Get women,” he says, with an expression that says I should have graduated at the bottom of the class at flower arranging school for not realizing this on my own.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “Why not? If Einstein could be a ladies’ man, surely you can. This might be your only chance to be a bonafide player. I think you should go for it. I for one just signed up to help your co-host test her new dating app.”

  “Oh, my God. You’ve either completely lost your mind or you’re joking,” I say, in utter disbelief that one of the smartest people I know is going to try dating according to his star sign.

  “Every nerd that ever got shoved into a locker dreams of being the object of adoration, pal. You may not think you need this now, but you should relish the attention if for no other reason than to seek retribution for your younger self. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.”

  “Now you’re quoting Pierre Choderlos de Laclos to me?”

  “Remember how you once told me about that girl who turned down your offer to take her to senior prom?”

  I nod my head in shame. I shared that story one night while he and I were tossing back a few. We were bemoaning the fact that nerds never seemed to get the girl in high school.

  “Get up there and show her what she missed out on,” Alec tells me.

  He’s got a point. I’d love for every person who hurt me when I was a kid to know that I’m not that guy anymore. I just don’t want to have to go on national television to prove it.

  Thirteen

  Serafina

  “
He’s such a turd!” I yell at my brother Zay. “I have never had another person talk down to me the way he does.”

  “You did make him wear those ridiculous pants on national television.”

  “Whose side are you on?” My decibel level keeps creeping higher.

  “Look at me, Ser. I’m your four-foot, eleven-inch, fully-grown older brother. Sue me for being empathetic to other people’s humiliation.”

  I decided to stop by Zay’s apartment today for some sibling commiseration. “You have a pituitary gland issue. That’s so much bigger than being embarrassed about wearing some tight pants on TV.”

  I plop down on the couch next to him while he says, “I’m sensitive to cruel nicknames, and the whole country is calling that guy Dr. Banana Pants. I assure you, the man did not spend all that time at university to have his hard-earned title reduced to a joke.”

  “Point taken,” I say, somewhat annoyed that my brother isn’t immediately taking my side. “But he’s the one who put them on and joined in the fashion show. He should have said something so that the whole fiasco never happened.”

  “What happened to the real male model you hired? Did he ever turn up?” my brother asks.

  “Yeah, he did. They put him in Ben’s dressing room but didn’t find out he wasn’t the astrophysicist from NASA until it was time to send him out. At that point Ben was already on set, strutting his stuff.”

  “Well, it looks like it’s all turned out for the best if Wake Up America! wants you guys on every week. The question is, how are the two of you going to keep from tearing each other’s heads off?”

  That is the question, especially if we can’t even have a civil meal together when there are no cameras around. Pulling the afghan off the back of Zay’s couch and wrapping it around my legs, I tell him, “I’m going to be lovely and delightful and stay on point. Ben can sink himself with his rude behavior for all I care.”

  “I’m willing to bet the man isn’t half as bad as you portray him to be.” My brother, the traitor!

  “And how did you come to that conclusion?”

  “Look, Ser, you’re a flirt by nature. You flirt with men, women, dogs, pigeons in the park …” The nasty look I send his way has him hurrying to add, “It’s not a bad thing. In fact, according to you, it’s a Libra thing. I’m just saying that whenever someone doesn’t respond to your innate charm, or doesn’t like you, you get really mad.”

  Ignoring a truth about myself I’d rather not address, I demand, “Who doesn’t like me?”

  My brother rubs his eyes before staring at the ceiling. “Oh, I don’t know, there was that girl Tiffany Taylor from high school, and then there was that guy Stanford Wellington in college …”

  He pauses for dramatic effect.

  “Big whoop. Two idiots from my past didn’t like me,” I try to act like I’m not bothered by it, but I totally still am.

  “You agonized about them both for years,” he reminds me. “In fact, I bet you’ve started up again after meeting Ben Williams.”

  As if. The truth is, I’ve been so busy being mad at Ben that I haven’t even thought of the miscreants from my formative years — but I will now. Thanks so much, Zay. “You act like I’m some kind of egomaniac or something.” I can’t help my pouting tone.

  Zay gets up and walks to his kitchen counter to pick up a box of gingersnaps, which he tosses in my direction. “All I’m saying is that you like to be liked. And as much as it pains me to tell you this, not all people are going to like you.”

  “Why?” I hear the pathetic whine in my voice, and I hate it.

  “Because not all people are smart enough to like you.” I know my brother is placating me, but that’s okay. As much as I enjoy people’s adoration, I’m also amenable to appeasement when needed to maintain my emotional balance.

  “Enough about Ben,” I say. “I came by for a much more important reason. I was wondering if you could talk to Shelby about having her mother write an article for The Post about Charley.”

  “Charley, your child prodigy employee?” he asks.

  “Do you know of another Charley?” Before he can answer, I say, “She recently got accepted into Yale, at fifteen no less, and she made her national modeling debut on Wake Up America! I thought she might be an inspirational person to write about.”

  He shrugs his shoulders. “I guess.”

  “Please ask her, Zay. As I may have mentioned, Charley had a tough time in school. It’s hard to relate to people when you’re so much smarter than they are, and, if you’ll recall, high school students are not generally tolerant of those who stand out from the pack in ways they don’t approve of or understand.”

  “Don’t I know it.” Poor Zay had a horrible time in high school. It wasn’t bad enough that he never grew beyond a grade school height, but he’s also genius-level smart which earned him a host of nasty nicknames like “Brain Dwarf” and “Pint-sized Poindexter.”

  “You do know it,” I tell him. “So please help me help Charley exact her revenge.”

  “When you put it that way, of course I’m in. But you know Shelby, she can be a bit touchy when she thinks people are using her.”

  The truth is, my brother’s girlfriend is not the most likable person on the planet. In fact, she was Zay’s office tormentor before they got together. Shelby didn’t tease him about his height or anything, rather, she complained that Zay got to work from home while everyone else had to go into the office. Eventually, she got her way and Zay had to quit hiding out and join the real world. While it was painfully hard on him, it all worked out for the best. After thirty-two years, my brother has learned to accept himself for who he is. Not to mention, he finally has a girlfriend who is really into him.

  “How are things going with you and Shelby anyway?” I ask. “Have you thought about introducing her to Mom and Dad?”

  An actual blush washes over Zay’s face. “If things keep going so well, I’ll take her back to Miami over the Christmas holiday. There’s no place like Miami when you’re freezing your butt off in New York.”

  “God help her. She and Mom are both Capricorns who like to be in charge of everything. They’ll either love each other or hate each other.”

  “Can you imagine Mom hating the woman who loves her son? A Cuban mother’s sun rises and sets in the happiness of her children.”

  “Shelby loves you?” I’m so happy I feel tears of joy prickle behind my eyes. “Do you love her?”

  Zay nods his head. “I do. She’s so great, Ser. When we go out together, it’s like she’s actually proud to be with me, which I never in my life thought would happen. She’s given me the push I needed to realize there’s nothing wrong with being me.”

  “Thank God!” I tell him. “Although, it’s not like your own family hasn’t been telling you that forever.”

  “Yeah, but you guys are family. You have to love me. Shelby hardly likes anyone, so her love feels like a real prize, you know?”

  I scoot over on the couch close enough to my brother so that I can hug him. “You are a real prize and I’m glad you’re finally accepting yourself. Now, ask Shelby to talk to her mom, okay? I really want to give Charley a self-esteem boost. If she can stay out of trouble, her parents will let her go to Yale next year.”

  Zay looks pensive. “It’s funny how the kids who peak in high school often don’t make big successes of their lives as adults, but the ones who struggle can really fly.”

  “It all boils down to how hard you’re willing to work,” I tell him. “When things come easy for you young, the real world can come as a bit of a shock. But when you learn how to weather the storm of human interaction in your youth, you’ve already learned how to surf some of the tougher waves.”

  “In other words, not everyone is going to like you and as soon as you figure out that’s just life, the better off you’ll be.”

  “Exactly!” I tell him.

  Zay laughs out loud before pointing out, “So in your case, the sooner you realize that Ben W
illiams doesn’t need to like you, the better off you’ll be?”

  I stepped into the trap before I even saw it was there. “Shut up, Zay.”

  “I’m just saying …”

  “I know what you’re saying,” I tell him. “Now leave it be, okay?”

  In and of itself, I don’t care what people think of me. I’m a secure enough person not to let the Tiffany Taylors and Stanford Wellingtons of the world shake my foundation. It’s just that for some reason I’m really bothered by the fact that Ben Williams doesn’t like me.

  Fourteen

  Ben

  “Welcome back to Wake Up America! It’s going to be a hot one today, isn’t it, Hal?” Lacey says with a wide grin.

  “So hot! It’s already run-through-the-sprinkler weather and it’s only eight a.m.,” Hal says with a chuckle.

  “Speaking of things heating up,” Lacey says. “We’ve got our two favorite experts in all things space and astrology-related, Dr. Ben Williams from NASA and Serafina Lopez from Live for Your Star Sign, here to duke it out again.”

  Hal laughs and gives Lacey’s shoulder a bit of a shove. “I cannot wait. These two were on last Monday and they’re like the original oil and water — you just can’t mix ’em!”

  Lacey, clearly annoyed at the shove, gives Hal a smile that resembles more of a snarl, then says, “Take it easy on my shoulder there, Hal. I’d hate to have to charge you with assault.”