Heartbreak And Past Mistakes

by Chenell Parker

  “Since we still don’t have any condoms, can I get a do over from earlier?” Javier asked as he smiled at Lyric.

  “Sure,” she replied without giving it a second thought.

  Javier loved that he never had to ask twice when it came to sex or anything sexual. Lyric was very comfortable in that area and not conservative like some of the women that he’d been with before. She walked over to him and dropped down to her knees, dropping his pants and boxers soon after. Javier threw his head back and moaned as Lyric took him to another world. The events of the day were forgotten and so was everything that his family said. He didn’t care who didn’t agree with his decision to make Lyric his wife. As soon as he and Mr. Malone came back from their trip, he was going to propose and pray that she said yes.

  Chapter 12

  “Shit baby, I’m gonna cum again,” Zina said as she rocked back and forth on top of Deuce. He had his hands planted firmly on her slender hips as she bounced faster. His bottom lip was caught in between his teeth and a light sheen of sweat coated his handsome face.

  “Fuck” Deuce grunted as he came inside of her for the second time.

  Zina wasn’t quite there yet, so she kept moving until she felt that all too familiar feeling building up in the pit of her belly. When she came, she collapsed on top of her husband and tried to regulate her breathing.

  “That was so damn good,” Zina panted as she kissed his lips. She rolled over and grabbed her blunt from the night stand and lit it. Deuce smoked a lot but he hated when his wife did it, especially inside of the house. He met her with a blunt dangling from her full pouty lips, so he couldn’t complain now. He always went outside in the yard to smoke, out of respect for her kids. Even when they weren’t home, he never smoked inside.

  “What’s on your agenda for the day?” Deuce asked her.

  “Nothing much. I’m going cook before the kids come home from school but that’s about it,” Zina replied.

  True to her word, Zina hadn’t seen the inside of Ace’s or any other club in over a month. She was serious about saving her marriage and things seemed to be looking up for her and Deuce. She made sure that there was a hot meal on the stove every day and he seemed to be happy about that. She was getting better with helping her kids with school work and making them go to bed on time. Zina didn’t always stay inside, but she wasn’t coming in as late as she did before. Some days she would go chill by her mother with her sister, but that was as exciting as it got.

  “I need to go hit up the liquor warehouse with Darnell. Shit is running low at Ace’s,” Deuce replied as he sat up.

  Darnell was his cousin and the bartender at Ace’s. He had been working at the bar for over five years and he was good at what he did. Darnell not only fixed the drinks, but he kept the place in working order. He didn’t mind cleaning the bathrooms or sweeping the floors if he had to. The way he saw it, Ace’s wasn’t only his job but it was his cousin’s money maker.

  “Bring me something back,” Zina requested, knowing that her husband already knew what she liked to drink.

  “I wonder if my grandma wants me to pick up a few bottles for the picnic next weekend,” Deuce wondered out loud.

  His grandmother, Melba, on his father’s side did a picnic every year for her kids and grandkids and it was coming up. Since Zina and his cousin Sanai had been into it, she wasn’t as excited about going as she usually was. Deuce told her that she didn’t have to go but she told him that she was okay with it. He didn’t want things to get awkward with her and his family because that would put him in the middle of it all. Sanai was like the leader of the pack and his other cousins always followed her lead. She and Zina were a lot alike and they always seemed to clash.

  “You want me to call her and ask?” Zina questioned.

  “Yeah and make a list of whatever she wants,” Deuce replied as he headed to the bathroom.

  He took a shower and got dressed to go handle some business. Once he was done, Zina handed him a list of what his grandmother needed and he left soon after. He picked up his cousin, Darnell, and they headed to the liquor warehouse soon after.

  “Bruh, I swear, if that nigga Warren wasn’t your uncle, I would have been knocked him on his ass. Freeloading broke muthafucka,” Darnell said with a frown.

  Just like his cousins, his uncle always wanted to drink for free. It was crazy how they would willingly pay somebody else but wanted a handout from him just because he was family.

  “That’s exactly why I don’t come through there too much. I know I could never run shit and be hands on like my pops was. The way my temper is set up, I probably wouldn’t even have no customers. The only reason why I don’t want you to charge that nigga is because of my mama. Taking money from him is like taking it from her since that’s where he gets it from. Broke ass nigga got the nerve to have a girlfriend. Where they do that shit at?”

  “That nigga is a fucking bum. Always calling me nephew and shit,” Darnell fussed.

  Darnell’s father and Ace were brothers, so he and Warren weren’t related at all. He was thankful for that, especially since he didn’t like his lazy ass.

  “That nigga sad as fuck,” Deuce replied.

  “I see Zina ain’t been through there in a minute. What’s up with her?” Darnell asked.

  “She’s back on her good wife shit for a while.” Deuce shrugged.

  “Why you saying it like that? You should be happy since that’s what you always wanted,” Darnell pointed out.

  “Man, we’ve been through this shit I don’t know how many times. She’ll chill out for a while and get a nigga hopes up, only to turn around do the same shit all over again. Right about now, it’s whatever,” Deuce said.

  “She came through there with a big fine bitch a few weeks ago. I wanted to ask her who she was, but I didn’t need her going back telling my girl that I was asking about another woman.”

  “You shouldn’t want none of them hood rat hoes that she be with anyway,” Deuce said.

  “Nah man, she didn’t look like a hood rat. Baby girl ordered a fucking rum punch. Ain’t no hood rats doing no shit like that. They be on that hard liquor,” Darnell noted.

  “That must have been her cousin Kierra, then. She’s the only classy chick that she hangs with. I’m surprised she was at Ace’s though. That ain’t her type of crowd,” Deuce replied.

  “Cousin fine as fuck but I can’t go there. I don’t need your wife in my business like that. You know how they do. Mad day come and they tell everything. That’s why I don’t say shit to Sanai,” Darnell laughed while referring to his sister.

  “Man, people are always talking about females settling for niggas, but some of us be settling for their asses too,” Deuce said out of the blue.

  “Damn cuz. Shit must really be bad at home,” Darnell replied.

  “Real shit bruh, I feel like I’m just there. I know that Zina is trying and I promised her that I was going to meet her halfway. But truthfully, if shit don’t work out, I won’t even feel bad about it,” Deuce admitted.

  “You must have a bitch on the side to be saying some shit like that,” Darnell said while giving him the side eye.

  “Why muthafuckers think that every marriage falls apart because of infidelity? I’ve never cheated on my wife a day in my life. We have bigger problems than that,” Deuce noted.

  He still had love for Zina but he wasn’t in love with her anymore. It was no secret and they’d had that conversation several times before. Zina had been there for him more than any female that he’d ever been with. She was loyal and she didn’t mind getting down and dirty with him if she ever had to. That wasn’t what Deuce wanted in a woman though. He didn’t need a down bitch to ride with him. He wanted a wife to bear his kids and let him be the man and take care of her. Sometimes, Zina was just as gangster as he was and that drove him crazy. Still, Deuce felt guilty every time he thought about leaving her.

  “Damn cuzzo, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it gets better,” Darnell replied as the
y walked around the store.

  “It’s all good. It ain’t nothing that I can’t handle,” Deuce replied.

  Once he and his cousin got everything that they needed, they passed by their grandmother and dropped some items off to her. After putting all the liquor away at Ace’s, Deuce made a few more stops before he headed back home.

  ***

  “Look at my baby,” Wanda said when she saw Deuce and Zina walking over to where she was seated with some of his aunties.

  His grandmother’s annual picnic was in full swing and the park was packed with all his family members. His father was one of fourteen and all of them had kids and grandkids. Ace was the only one of his mother’s kids who only had one child and no grandkids. Although her husband was dead and gone, Wanda was still treated like a part of the family. Since her family was so small, she had formed a bond with them when she was younger. There wasn’t an event that they gave that she didn’t attend.

  “Hey ma,” Deuce spoke as he kissed her cheek. He went around the circle hugging and kissing his aunties as Zina did the same. Although she and Wanda didn’t always get along, Zina always spoke and respected her.

  “Zina, I know you coming over here and play cards!” one of Deuce’s cousin’s yelled from a table underneath the shelter.

  “I’m coming!” Zina yelled back. “Do you want me to fix you something to eat baby?”

  “No, I’m good for now,” Deuce replied, right before she walked away to where the card game was taking place. Her kids were with their grandparents, so she didn’t have to worry about feeding them.

  “You better fill up while you’re here. Ain’t no telling when you’re gonna eat again,” Wanda said.

  “Don’t start ma. I’m really not in the mood right now,” Deuce replied with a frown.

  “Leave that boy alone Wanda. Deuce is a grown ass man. Stop trying to baby him all the time,” one of his auntie’s snapped.

  “The hell you mean? He is my baby!” Wanda yelled.

  Just like always, Wanda and his aunties went back and forth for a while. Deuce was already over being out there, so he walked away and joined his cousins in another area.

  “Aww shit, I quit,” Darnell said when he saw Deuce approaching them.

  He and a few of their other cousins were shooting dice and none of them liked to play with Deuce. He was a natural just like his father and he always took their money.

  “Stop acting like a lil bitch and drop some money nigga,” Deuce laughed as he gave his cousins dap.

  “Alright nigga, I been on my winning shit lately. I’m bout to punish your ass out here,” Darnell bragged.

  “Let’s get it then nigga!” Deuce yelled as he pulled a stack of money from his pocket.

  The game got started and they were loud as hell. Just like always, Deuce was killing it but Darnell was holding his own too. They stopped playing for a while to eat and drink, but they were right back at it a short time later. The picnic was in full swing as everyone huddled up in different areas to do various activities. Some of the kids were in the spacewalk and a few of them were playing volleyball.

  Hours had passed and Deuce was enjoying being with his family. For the first time in a while, he felt content and at peace. But, as always, all good things eventually had to end. When he and his cousins heard loud arguing coming from one of the shelter areas, they looked up to see what was going on. Deuce was pissed when he saw his wife in the middle of the bullshit, arguing with his cousin Sanai. He and Darnell wasted no time going over there, but a fight broke out before they made it. Zina was slim but she had some serious hands on her. She was doing his cousin dirty and no one even tried to break them up. Deuce was shocked that none of his other cousins jumped in, but he was happy that they didn’t. He wasn’t gonna let them jump his wife so that made his life a little easier. Sanai’s boyfriend was shooting dice with them, so he ran over there behind them.

  “Y’all chill out with this stupid shit!” Deuce yelled as he picked Zina up.

  Sanai’s boyfriend, Colby, grabbed her and held her back too.

  “We can’t even get together and have a good time without somebody always fighting. Pack all this shit up and let’s go. The picnic is over!” Deuce’s grandmother yelled angrily as she walked away shaking her head.

  He was pissed that his wife was out there acting a fool for his entire family to see. She was giving Wanda something else to say about her and she was standing right there watching it all unfold.

  “Let me go! That bitch want to play dirty and hit me when I wasn’t looking!” Sanai screamed as she struggled against Colby’s hold.

  “Ain’t no rules to fighting baby. Why you mad though? It ain’t like you would have won anyway,” Zina laughed while taunting the other woman.

  “Bitch, you got jokes but tell my cousin why you ain’t get pregnant yet. Bitch stopped taking her pills and started getting the depo shots. Laugh at that hoe,” Sanai said, making Deuce tense up in anger.

  He was a master at controlling his emotions. No one would ever know just how pissed off he really was after hearing what his cousin had just said. For months, Deuce had checked Zina’s birth control pills to make sure she hadn’t started back taking them. He was excited to know that she was finally ready to give him a baby. He often questioned why she hadn’t gotten pregnant yet, but now he knew.

  “That’s fucked up Sanai. You didn’t have to do it like that!” Darnell yelled angrily.

  “Fuck her. Fraud ass bitch,” Sanai replied as Colby carried her away.

  Deuce put Zina down since his cousin was no longer a problem. He didn’t even want to touch her or be around her at the moment.

  “Are you okay baby?” Wanda asked her son in concern.

  “Yeah, I’m good,” Deuce replied, even though it was a lie.

  He saw his people packing up to leave and he offered to assist them. Zina stayed off to herself and didn’t bother saying anything. Once the park was cleaned up, Deuce saw his mother off before he and Zina left.

  “Can I at least explain?” Zina pleaded as they drove away from the park.

  “No need to explain, we’re good,” Deuce replied.

  “I’m sorry Deuce, but I wasn’t ready to have another baby at first. I’m ready now and I decided to stop taking the shots,” Zina noted.

  “You decided?” Deuce asked her with a frown. “So, just fuck whatever I have to say.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that baby. I should have told you how I felt, but I know how bad you wanted to start a family,” Zina said as the tears fell from her eyes.

  Deuce was done talking. It didn’t even make sense for him to say anything else. It wasn’t like Zina was listening to him anyway. When they pulled up in front of the house, he parked and waited for her to get out. Deuce needed some time to himself before he did something that he would later regret.

  “Why are you just sitting here? Aren’t you coming inside?” Zina asked.

  “No, I’m going take a ride,” he replied as he looked straight ahead.

  “Okay, well, I’m coming with you,” Zina replied.

  “Nah, you’re the one who I’m trying to get away from,” Deuce replied honestly.

  “This is why we can never resolve our issues. You never want to talk!” Zina yelled angrily.

  “I’m really trying my best not to knock fire from your stupid ass right now. Get the fuck out of my car and let me be,” Deuce fumed.

  “I don’t want you to stay away. You know that shit drives me crazy,” Zina said as she cried harder.

  She pretended like it didn’t bother her when Deuce stayed by his grandmother but that shit killed her inside. She was barely able to sleep if Deuce wasn’t in bed with her and he knew that. He stayed away to punish her and it worked every time.

  “Just go Zina, please, I’m begging you,” Deuce said as his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter.

  He wanted to hit her, but he would never be able to live with himself if he did. His father was right and walkin
g away was the best thing to do. The sound of her voice was aggravating him and he was ready to get from around her.

  “Are you coming back tonight?” Zina asked almost desperately.

  “Get the fuck out of my car before I hurt you, Zina!” Deuce yelled, causing her to flinch.

  He didn’t have to say it again. Zina unhooked her seat belt and hopped out of the car like it was on fire. As soon as she closed the door, Deuce sped off and burned rubber as he drove away. Zina’s tears didn’t move him like they did in the past. Crying was how she always got her way and it didn’t take him long to figure that out. Deuce didn’t care about her feelings being hurt because his were hurt as well. Zina was selfish and he was pissed with himself for not realizing that sooner. He had to get away from her because his first mind was telling him to knock her the fuck out. Deuce didn’t even have to think about where he was going. He needed to talk and his grandmother was one of the only people who he trusted talking to.

  Chapter 13

  “Don’t lie to me, Spencer! Are you fucking her again?” Jena cried as she looked to him for an answer.

  “You better keep your fucking voice down in my office. We’re at our place of business, just in case you forgot,” Spencer replied.

  Unlike the board rooms, none of their offices were sound proof. He was happy that it was still early and most of the employees hadn’t arrived to work yet. The radio that he kept on his desk probably drowned out most of the sounds anyway but that wasn’t the point. Jena had been on some bullshit lately and he was over it. She was okay to keep around at first, but the shit was getting old now. Jena was always a good backup when he didn’t have anyone else. The relationship thing just wasn’t for him anymore though.

  “I see the way y’all flirt with each other. I know that something is going on so don’t lie to me,” Jena sniffled.

  She was barely able to function and do her work lately, thanks to Spencer and Lyric. The constant flirting and eye contact didn’t go unnoticed by her and she let them both know it. She was always walking up on them engaged in a hushed conversation, but they got quiet whenever they saw her approaching. Since Javier and Mr. Malone had been out of town for the past week, things only seemed to get worse. Jena was happy that they were due back to work in the morning because she needed someone to help her keep an eye on things. Javier usually watched Lyric and Spencer like a hawk but she was doing it by herself since he’d been gone. Spencer still stayed at the office after hours and, now, Lyric was starting to stay later too. She had never done that before and she didn’t have a reason to start. Jena was driving herself crazy and they were helping her do it.