That Girl: Bre

by Amber Monroe

  “What’s up, Bre,” Ricky said sarcastically.

  “Hey, Ricky.” I smiled.

  “You need help?”

  “Sure,” I said then continued to put the food up. He grabbed a bag then started putting things away.

  “Have you dropped out of school?” He asked randomly.

  “That wasn’t the plan, but it seems like I have no other choice,” I admitted. I know that I missed a lot of days, and with the new DC laws, my mother could get into trouble. And I was a good student, so I know some of my teachers were probably concerned.

  “You know they have online classes now? You need to get your mother to give the school a call and start those courses so you won’t have to stay back.”

  “I didn’t know. Thanks for telling me, but I’m not really talking to my mom.” I said while putting my head down. It’s been months since I was kicked out, and I still wasn’t talking to her. I wasn’t even talking to my siblings. I only kept in contact with Chianne and Keisha.

  “Look at this, Mr. Clark ass nigga.” Day Day joked. The guys laughed, but Jemar looked over at us with a mug on his face.

  “Aye, Ricky. It’s time for you to go handle that.” Jemar said. I saw Ricky tense up a little then nodded his head towards Jemar. He finished helping me then went into the second bedroom.

  “What is he doing in there?” I asked. There was nothing but baby stuff in there since that was going to be our baby’s room. I was hoping that Jemar was stupid enough to store money or drugs in there.

  “None of your business.” Marco spat. I looked at him like he was crazy. I never knew what his problem was, and I wasn’t the only person in our family that he acted this way towards. Nobody really messed with him because he always seemed to have an attitude or problem.

  “What’s your problem, Marco? You always have something smart to say to me, and I’m your cousin!” I said.

  “Blood doesn’t make you family.” He stated.

  “Whatever!” I said then stormed away to our bedroom. I sat down on the bed with my phone in my hand. My hands started sweating because I was nervous about what I was about to do. My heart was beating as I heard the phone ring.

  “Hello?” She answered. She was skeptical because I was calling from a blocked number. I honestly wasn’t expecting her to answer, morelike hoping that she wouldn’t.

  “Ma.”

  “Bre?”

  “Yeah, it’s me. Look, I’m not going to hold you. I was calling because I know I haven’t been going to school and want to, but I haven’t had time to. Anywho, I heard about them having an online program, and I wanted to ask if you could enroll me into it, so I can complete this year. I don’t want to get you into trouble with the Department of Education about my absences, and I don’t want to stay back. Education is important ...still important to me, and I want to finish high school.” I said. It was silent, at first I thought she hung, but I heard her breathing.

  “I’ve already been to the school and withdrew you. I changed your address to your dad’s, so legally, you’re in his care. Give him a call and express your love to continue to your education like you told me. I know he would be happy to hear that.” She said sarcastically.

  “You know, I was hoping that your attitude would have changed by now, and you would’ve been happy to hear from me, but I was completely wrong. I’m glad I didn’t expect much from you. I am going to finish high school without your help or care. I am going to go to college and graduate. I am going to make my daughter so proud of me. Take care, Aretha.” I said then ended the call.

  “Stop cheating!” Jemar shouted. From my irritation with Jemar and his friends to my conversation with my mother, I was beyond pissed. I hopped up from the bed and stormed out into the living room. I went straight to the tv and unplugged the PS4 from it.

  “Bre what the fuck! We were in the middle of a game!” Jemar shouted.

  “I don’t give a fuck. I told you that y’all make too much noise and I’m tired of telling you that. And I told you that I bought stuff that needs to be in the freezer. You and your bum ass friends have yet to go get the rest of the groceries!” I screamed.

  “Man, you need to handle that,” Marco said.

  “What the fuck did you say?” I said and walked over to him. I was tired of his mouth and attitude; he acted like I did something to him.

  “You heard what the fuck I said. He needs to handle your ass. You got too much mouth like you’re the man in the relationship. You straight bitching my boy.” He said as he got up from his seat.

  “Why the fuck do you care about how I’m talking to my boyfriend? You want to treat him better or something? You want him or something?” I said.

  “Bruh, get your bitch before I really hurt her feelings.”

  “Bitch, you ain’t gon' do shit. Jemar runs y’all, it’s not the opposite way around. You come over to eat, sleep, and shit because he lets you. Out of everybody in here, you’re the only one who doesn’t have shit of your own.” I said and probably shouldn’t have since I knew his upbringing the most.

  “Bre, shut the fuck up!” Jemar said as he walked over and stood between Marco and me.

  “Or what? You’re going actually listen to this bitch?” I said, looking at Jemar.

  “Calm down. Shit going too far. That’s your cousin.” He said.

  “Blood doesn’t make you family,” I mocked as I looked at Marco, repeating what he said earlier.

  “You good, Bre?” I heard Ricky say from behind me. I forgot he was even here.

  “Fuck you asking her that for?” Jemar said.

  “I hear y’all arguing, and she’s pregnant, man. Look, I know that’s your girl, but we were friends before she even met you.”

  “And what is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that my priority is making sure she’s good before anything else,” Ricky said, poking his chest out. I’ve never seen this side of him before. It actually felt good to have somebody in my corner.

  “It’s time for y’all to bounce,” Jemar said to his friends.

  “You really siding with this bitch?” Marco said. I was about to punch his ass, but Ricky grabbed my wrist. I saw ta look on Jemar’s face and feared for Ricky's life. I didn’t want him to be in my drama even though he was trying to help.

  “I’m good, Ricky,” I said then stomped away to the bedroom. I heard Jemar talking to the guys then I heard the door slam. I was hoping that everyone left and would be gone for a couple of days. I needed a break, even from Jemar. I was his girl and the mother of his child, but Ricky stood up for me. Jemar allowed my own cousin to disrespect me. What kind of man was he? He wasn’t a man; he was a boy.

  I decided to take a shower to relax a little because my nerves were all over the place. As I was preparing for my shower, the bedroom door opened and slammed, startling me.

  “Why you slam the door?” I said to Jemar.

  “Shut the fuck up!” He yelled as he walked over to me.

  “Excuse me?” I said.

  “You heard what I said. You talk too much and never listen to anything that I say. You’re always disrespecting me in front of my boys like I’m the bitch in this relationship.” He said, he was so close that spit from his mouth was landing on my face.

  “What?” I said. He backed me up in a corner.

  “You fucking Ricky?”

  “What?!”

  “You fucking him, huh? That’s his baby?”

  “You’re delusional. As long as I’ve known Ricardo, if we were messing around, I think I would’ve been with him long before I met you.”

  “What you trying to say? You like that nigga? You want to be with him or something?”

  “Did I say that?”

  “You didn’t have to say shit. I see how you look at him and shit.”

  “You’re tripping. Ricardo and I are only friends- you’re-” I said before I felt Jemar’s fist connect to my lip. I instantly felt it bleeding and swell up. I put my hand over my mouth, looked down
, and saw blood.

  “That got your ass quiet! I’m being what?” He yelled in my face.

  “Insecure!” I said before he took his fist again and punched me in my eye. I slid down to the floor, crossed my arms over my head, and cried.

  “Keep talking!” Jemar said as I felt another blow hit my head. I can’t believe this, Jemar hit me. I can’t believe this is who I fell in love with. I can’t believe this is who I was about to have a child with. I can’t believe this was my life.

  May

  2016

  16. Bre

  *Trigger Warning Chapter*

  “Can y’all keep it down a little,” I asked when Jemar walked into the room. I was in our bedroom, lying down in complete darkness, trying to rest because my back was hurting me. He and his friends were playing the game as usual, and I was over it. I just wanted some sleep and a peaceful night, but I knew that was too much to ask for. It had been about two weeks since Jemar put hands on me, and so far, I been keeping my distance. I don’t know if he was remorseful or not since he never apologized and kept his distance too. We didn’t talk about it, and I honestly wanted to forget all about it.

  “I got it!” He yelled as he walked back out into the living room and slammed the door behind him. I rolled my eyes and turned over to my other side. I’ve been hiding in this room lately because my bruises were still healing, they looked way better after the first week, but you could still see them. I did not want any of his friends to see me like that, especially Ricky. He actually hasn’t been around much, and I was happy because I knew he would probably be so disappointed. And he was protective of me, but I didn’t want Jemar to possibly hurt him because of me. He didn’t need that drama in his life. Neither did I, but here I was.

  “Let me get the other one!” Jemar shouted again as he walked back into the room. He grabbed what he needed, then left out without closing the door behind him. I wasn’t in the mood to get up with a big belly, but I wasn’t trying to hear his friends. I got up slowly and made my way to the door.

  “Asshole,” I mumbled, then slammed the bedroom door, and before I got back to the bed, Jemar damn near raced in behind me. His presence of being so close behind made me scared and fearful.

  “Fuck you slamming the door for!” He shouted with the door left wide open.

  “You left the door open, and you see I’m trying to sleep.”

  “I don’t see shit. Your lazy ass is always in bed. That’s all you do.”

  “My back hurts.”

  “I can’t wait until you have that baby. All you do is complain.”

  “I’ll be glad to, and I can leave your ass,” I mumbled.

  “What?!” He shouted. I didn’t say anything. He roughly snatched my arm to make me face him.

  “Let me go!” I said.

  “Or what?”

  “I’m not in this mood for this today.”

  “I don’t give a fuck what you’re not in the mood for.”

  “Jemar-”

  “I guess you still haven’t learned shit about talking to me any kind of way, huh?”

  “I didn’t even-”

  “Huh?” He shouted in my face. I didn’t say anything.

  “That’s what I thought.” He said with a smirk then shoved me. For some reason, I pushed him back, and that really enraged him. He backhand slapped me. And I screamed.

  “You want to fight back?” He said then slammed the bedroom door. I tried to back away from him, but he came after me. Between my screaming and Jemar’s shouting, I was sure that his friends heard me, but it wasn’t like anyone was going to come in and save me.

  “Stoppppppppp!” I screamed. Somehow I ended up on the floor, near the bed. I had one hand on my stomach, protecting my baby, and the other was around my face trying to block his punches. I honestly don’t know why Jemar just went off like this. It was like he was waiting for me to just say anything to trigger him. I don’t understand how someone I thought was so sweet once upon a time ended up becoming a monster I hated now. I ruined my life for him, for us, and this is how he treated me.

  “Shut up!” He said while somehow landing a punch to my lip. I wasn’t about to sit here and allow him to put my child in danger.

  “Stop!” I said and just swung on him. My fist connected to his eye.

  “Bitch, did you just hit me back?” He yelled. I swear my heart stopped for a minute. I didn’t know what to expect, but I just wanted him to stop.

  “Please stoppppppp. The baby.” I cried out, hoping he would at least think about the baby.

  “You learned your lesson, huh?” He shouted. I just cried. “Huh?” He said while choking me. It wasn’t too hard, but still enough to cut my breathing.

  “Yes!” I screamed, just wanting him to stop. I crouched down, wrapped myself in my arms, just crying out. The house was quiet, I was sure his friends muted the tv to listen to their friend abuse his pregnant girlfriend. I know Marco was probably smiling, he always encouraged him to put me in my place. I wouldn’t be surprised if he told him to do this to me.

  “Let’s go,” Jemar said to his friends once he opened to the door and went out to the living room. Nobody said anything, but I heard many feet moving then I listened to the front door slam. I didn’t move because my body was sore, and I was traumatized, so I stayed in the same position, just trying to cry softly.

  ∞∞∞

  Knock-Knock

  I heard soft knocks, but I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, so I didn’t say anything.

  “Bre?” I heard a voice, softly speaking. I still remained quiet, just crying into my arms. I heard the creaking of the door opening, then footsteps came close to me. “Ambrelle.” I heard Ricky say. I definitely wasn’t going to face him, so I cried even harder. I heard him walk out, then shortly come back and sit next to me. I wanted to look up, but I was scared.

  “I got a rag for your face. Let me wipe it.” He said, stern, but gentle. I thought about it then leaned up to accept the rag. However, once I got up, Ricky placed the cloth on my face. I didn’t know how bad the damage was, but I knew my lip was busted, and probably my eye was blackened. I bruised easily, so I know I looked like shit.

  “Ouch!” I winced when the warm rag touched my lip. It was super sore and probably a swollen too.

  “Sorry, just trying to clean the blood off a little.” He said.

  “You don’t have to do this,” I said, feeling embarrassed.

  “I want to. Why didn’t you tell me he was beating on you?”

  “It just started. It’s only the second time.”

  “And it shouldn’t be anymore. Don’t let him put hands on you, Bre.”

  “I don’t let him do anything.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying, don’t let- allow someone like him to treat you like this.”

  “I know. I just don’t….I don’t know what went wrong.” I started to cry. Ricky put his arm around me, and I felt so safe.

  “Bre, you know I care for you. I’ll do anything for you, you know that, right? Anything.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’m not going into details, but I'm not as much as a good guy that you probably think I am. If you need me to take care of Jemar, I will.” He looked me in the eyes. I didn’t feel afraid of him by looking in his eyes, but actually saw the will to protect me.

  “As much as I want to say okay, I can’t because that’s my daughter’s father,” I said.

  “Do you think he’s going to really be there for her?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m doing everything that I can to make sure she’s straight, whether he’s here or not. I just need some more time.”

  “How much time, Bre? How long are you going to deal with this?”

  “Not long, I swear. It’s just for my baby.” I grabbed the rag from him and held it myself.

  “What if he hurts you while you’re carrying his seed? What if that leads to potentially hurting the baby?”

  “It’s not. I promise. I
won’t let him do that.”

  “Look, I can’t tell you what to do in your situation, but the Ambrelle I grew up with was-”

  “She’s not here anymore. I’m not as good as you think I am either. I’ve changed Ricky. Life changed me. My stupid choices and mistakes changed me.” I said. It was silent.

  “Oh my gosh!” I screamed. Just then, I felt my baby kick for the first time ever. I figured she was being stubborn, but she finally kicked for me. I just got my ass kicked, but I was excited about her first kick.

  “What? What’s wrong?” Ricky asked, concerned.

  “She just kicked for the first time,” I said, trying to smile, but my lip was sore. “Feel,” I said, then grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach.

  “Wow! I never knew what it felt like to feel a baby kick.” He said, smiling.

  “I know. Me, either.” For the first time ever, I felt butterflies in my stomach, and it wasn’t from my baby, but my newly developed feelings for Ricky.

  “Why couldn’t I have picked a better boyfriend and father for my child?” I blurted out.

  “You could have.” He said, grabbing my hand.

  “You don’t like me like that,” I said, putting my head down. He lifted my head and looked into my eyes.

  “Nah, you didn’t like me like that. You overlooked me.” He said, and he was right. I did overlook his good boy image and went for the bad boy who I thought was right. Honestly, my life probably would’ve been better- much better if I would’ve avoided Jemar. He wasn’t who I thought he was, and that was my fault. I was damaged goods now. Nobody would want me even if they did. I didn’t deserve a second chance at love since I fucked up my first one. How can I trust myself to not do it again?