That Girl: Bre

by Amber Monroe

  ∞∞∞

  Knock-Knock-Knock

  “Bout time fool, I thought you were just grabbing some papers and beers.” He said as he snatched open the door. He was surprised to see me, and I understood why since I ghosted him after trying to rekindle our relationship. I wasn't sure if that something I really wanted to pursue and didn't know to communicate that because I know he was tired of my games.

  “Hey, can I come in?”

  “Uh, yeah….” Roon said as if he wasn’t sure, but moved to the side to let me in. I walked in slowly, and as soon as he closed the door, I pushed him against the door.

  “Rah, what you doing?” He looked at me, dead in the eyes. Damn, he was so fine. How could I avoid these feelings for him all of these years?

  “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I want this.” I leaned in to kiss him. He didn’t initially kiss me back, but then damn near shoved his tongue down my throat. I missed this. This feeling. His feeling.

  “What we doing?” Roon asked as he broke away from our kiss. He seemed annoyed but aroused at the same time.

  “Whatever you want,” I smirked then grabbed the back of his head to restart our kiss. I was wrong to end things because of my own selfish reasons, but after seeing him starting to finally move on, I was hurt. I thought he would always chase me, but I was wrong, and I was missing this. However, I knew Roon wasn’t chasing me anymore, it was probably my turn to chase him. And I would no matter where it may lead me. I want him and everything that comes with him. I just hope I don’t end up regretting this.

  37. Jemar

  December 2015

  (Two years ago)

  “Hello. May I speak to Aretha...uhhh...What’s her last name?” Tia said as she covered the phone, whispering the last part.

  “Ummm...Moore...I told your ass, Aretha Moore.” I said. She rolled her eyes like she was annoyed with me. I was annoyed with her because I just gave her all of the information she needed.

  “Sorry….may I speak to Aretha Moore?” She asked. I motioned for her to put it on speakerphone.

  “Who’s calling?” The woman on the phone asked.

  “This Tanya from Unity Healthcare clinic.”

  “And how can I help you?”

  “You can help me by getting Aretha.” Tia snapped.

  “Excuse me?” The woman snapped back. I slapped Tia’s arm because she was about to fuck the plan up before we even got Aretha on the phone. She rubbed her arm and rolled them damn eyes again.

  “Focus!” I whispered.

  “Sorry, it’s been busy, and this is my last call for the day. I was just calling Aretha Moore to inform her that her daughter Ambrelle Allen is scheduled for a procedure with our clinic. We need to get Mrs.Moore’s signature on some documents since Bre is underage.”

  “Procedure?”

  “Yes, her abortion,” Tia smirked. I smiled because this was working out how I planned.

  “Abortion? For Bre, that doesn’t sound right.”

  “It’s correct. Ambrelle Deja Allen, age sixteen, daughter of Aretha Moore and Kingsley Allen. Resides off of Franklin and Rhode Island Ave”

  “Umm, Aretha is not here at the moment, is there a number where she can return your call?”

  “Yes, it’s….” I tuned Tia out as she gave the woman the clinic’s number and ended the call.

  “Happy?” Tia asked after she ended the call.

  “Man, you have no idea! Hopefully, her mother gets the message today and confronts Bre later on. I don’t know if she’s working or not, but the woman seemed to know of Bre so she’ll be concerned and call Aretha personally.” I said and relaxed in the driver’s seat of my car. This shit sounds so messy, but this was my last option to get out of being a father. I didn’t want to involve her mother, but Bre wouldn’t listen to me if I told her to get an abortion. I’m hoping that her mother will tell her father then her father would use some Jamaican potion on Bre’s ass, and she loses the baby. I heard Jamaicans can be ruthless and crafty as hell.

  “And what if it doesn’t work?” Tia asked.

  “I’ll push her down a flight of stairs myself,” I admitted. Tia looked at me like I was crazy at first, then she started laughing.

  “You’re crazy, but I love it. Nobody told her ass to trap you. She knew what she was doing, thinking she was about to be set for the rest of her life.” I didn’t say anything because I knew Bre didn’t trap me, that wasn’t her character. I just let Tia come up with that assumption because I didn’t want her to know that occasionally slept with Bre without a condom. I wasn’t trying to get her pregnant, shit just happened. Even though I just did some fucked up shit, I was missing her presence. I pulled my phone out and asked Bre to hang with me while I was in Tia’s company. I wasn’t tied down to anyone.

  Tia and I haven’t been dealing with each other not long, we met probably three weeks ago when I went to the mall to buy Bre something from Claire’s. Tia had her eyes set on me once I entered the store and wasted no time giving me her number. At first, I wasn’t going to bite the bait, but I needed someone else to chill with who wasn’t carrying my seed. Yeah, I had love Bre, but when she got pregnant so soon, that ruined everything for me. Bre was supposed to be the pretty young thing that I fucked and spoiled from time to time. I thought we could still be that, but she didn’t want to get an abortion. I felt terrible thinking about ways to convince her, so I never actually told her to. I thought she would think shit over and realize this baby would ruin everything for the both of us. I wasn’t caring about what my parents thought because they let me do whatever. I just wasn’t really for kids, especially with no bitch I just met and wasn’t really in love with. I had love for her, but I wasn’t in love with her—big difference.

  “So, what now?” Tia asked, taking me out of my thoughts.

  “Just wait and see,” I said, then started the car. I drove to Tia’s place because that’s where I kept most of my drugs and money. Even though I didn’t know Tia very long, I trusted her, and she was familiar with the lifestyle. She didn’t mind getting her hands dirty without me having to ask, and she even had a cousin that was looking for work. I couldn’t bring Bre into shit like this because she wasn’t raised around this lifestyle. Although I heard stories about her father, he wasn’t that man anymore, and I doubt he showed his kids how shit worked. I never told her anything, but she was smart and knew I sold weed. However, she didn’t know one of my uncles recently promoted me to more and new products. I wasn’t going to tell her because the less she knew, the better.

  ∞∞∞

  I dropped Tia off and went to chill with Bre. However, she runined the vibe with her morning sickness. I ended up back over to Tia's crib after dropping Bre back home. We were in the living room of Tia’s apartment, getting some products ready for the streets. I kept seeing my phone vibrate on the table. I didn’t like any distractions when I was in work mode, and usually cut my phone off, but I guess I forgot. I saw Bre calling back to back and wondered if her mother confronted her. I thought about ignoring her call, but I was hoping for some good news. I picked my phone up and stepped out of the room, and went into Tia’s bedroom.

  “What’s up?” I answered.

  “I need you to come to get me, it’s important. Like, ASAP.” She said, I could hear the panic in her voice.

  “What’s going on?” I remained calm.

  “It’s time for you to step up and take care of your child and me.” She said lowly. I don’t why, but the way she said that tugged on my heart, and I felt bad. I didn’t want to do this to her because she didn’t deserve it. Man, I don’t know what to do, but maybe I could woo her ass and still get her to get rid of the baby.

  “I’m on my way.” I said and ended the call. Yeah, I know if my intentions weren’t real, I could’ve just left her like that. I didn’t have to come running to her side, but like I said I’m not really the bad guy. Well, I’m not that bad.

  ∞∞∞

  Present Day....

&nbs
p; October 2017

  “I liked that picture you posted on Instagram. Nelle is starting to look like you a little, but she still has my whole face.”

  “Boy, bye!”

  “Nah, but she looks cute, and so do you…” I flirted. I was a fool to let Bre go because that "after the baby" glow really enhanced her already beautiful face. Yeah, she picked up a little weight, but it looked good on her. She now had auburn colored hair, and she looked so pretty, I can’t even front. However, Bre wasn’t falling for my shit, and straight-up ignored my compliments.

  “Is she asleep?” I asked.

  “She’s fighting her sleep, but she’s not going to hang.” She chuckled. I chuckled too.

  “You think you can keep her up. I have to handle something, but I could be there in about twenty minutes.” I said as I parked my car.

  “It’s getting late, Jemar. Just try another time.” She let out a harsh breath of air. I knew she was annoyed and tired of my inconsistencies with Janelle.

  “I know you’re tired of me coming around whenever I want. I’m trying to change that. I mean, it would be easier if you actually let me get her and keep her for a couple days out of the week.”

  “Jemar….she doesn’t really have a relationship with you. And honestly, you really haven’t built up enough trust for me to trust you alone with her.”

  “Fuck you think I’m going to do to my own child?” I barked into the phone. I quickly looked at the phone because Bre was less tolerable with me nowadays, she didn’t mind hanging up and ignoring my calls. She was really over a nigga and that bothered me. Yeah, I know I didn’t treat her right and wasn’t really in love with her, but it made me a little jealous to know she would be moving on. I mean, she wasn’t even sweating me for a little dick now and then. I don’t even think she loved me like she said did because it was so easy for her to give up on us. I know I probably made it easy for her to move on, but damn she never acted like she even missed me. To be honest, I don’t care if she moved on.

  “Jemar, I told you I wouldn’t interfere with your relationship with Nelle, but I don’t think it’s healthy for you to come around whenever you want.”

  “I’m working, making sure y’all are good financially. I’m sorry that takes time away from our bonding, but I’m doing what’s best for her.” Bre was quiet, then she scoffed.

  “What’s best for her is actually having a relationship with her dad. I told you we were good financially. The money you give goes into her savings account. Her needs are met with my check.” She stated matter of factly—this smart bitch. I said to myself.

  “Look, I was waiting for the right time to tell you, but it’s never the right time, so I’m letting you know I’m thinking about moving to Atlanta.” She shared.

  “What?”

  “I want a new start, and I saved up enough money to leave next month.”

  “Sounds like you already made your mind up about it, fuck you telling me for?”

  “I just thought you should know.”

  “Atlanta, huh? Why Atlanta?”

  “That’s the place to be, and I heard it’s a nice city. I think it would be good for Nelle and me.”

  “Nah, it would be good for you and Ricky. You think I forgot that nigga stays there now. And let that nigga know I have hit on his head for stealing my money.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me! I know it was him who skimmed some money from my stash.” I noticed that after he moved, my money was off, and he was the only person beside Tia and me to have access to my secret stash in my apartment. I never really trusted him, but Marco and the other guys knew him, so I rocked with him. But always kept an eye out for him.

  “That doesn’t sound like something Ricardo will do.” She was calling him Ricardo on purpose to strike a nerve.

  “You don’t know that nigga like how I know him. You think he’s an upstanding citizen, but that nigga is just as bad as me if not worst.”

  “Sure. Well, I doubt the Ricardo I know would do that. His parents are paid, and he’s always worked hard, so why does he need to steal from you?”

  “You must be fucking that nigga, taking all up for him. Just remind him, I tasted that first.” I smirked.

  “Ricardo and I are just friends, trust me. He’s seen what you did to me, so I doubt if he would ever want somebody like me.”

  “Good.”

  “You know what!..... Nothing. Nah, fuck that. Fuck you! I will happily admit that you damaged me to the point that I don’t think I will ever be open to love again. Everything you did, you did with intention and hate. You pursued me! You made me give you my virginity by challenging my loyalty towards you! You lied, cheated, and beat my ass after you convinced me that you would be there for me. You also attacked me and made me almost lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. You did all of this shit, and somehow you still walk around like I owe you. You act like you still don't want Janelle or care that she even exists. I never forced you to be a father because regardless if you would’ve stayed or not, we would’ve been good. Hell, we are good without your presence.” She screamed.

  “You right, you are, and maybe that makes me mad because you are holding things down without me. Maybe I’m using working as an excuse to not be around because when I am around, I see that I’m not missed or needed. You’ve been doing it all, and I’m not adding anything to Nelle’s life. Hell, she probably knows Ricky or your brothers better than she knows me. I know what I did to you, and it’s hard being around you because I always think of what I did to break you, didn’t work. Janelle was meant to be here, and I feel bad about the things I did to make sure she didn’t enter this world. And she’s walking around looking just like me. She doesn’t deserve to walk around looking like the very person who didn’t want her at some point.”

  “So what are you saying, Jemar?”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m serious about coming around more. I know you’re holding things down, but I do want her to know me and know that I care and love her. I know I have a long way to go before you can trust me, but I’m willing to put in the work to earn your trust back. I want Janelle to know me and love me, the real me. And one day I will tell her about all the things I did you and her and hope she can forgive me. I hope you can forgive me too.” It was quiet until I heard Bre sniffling.

  “Look, I’ll put off my move to Atlanta until next year, but you should really use this time to do right by Janelle because I’m not changing my mind about moving. I need this, and so does Nelle, I want better for her.”

  “Me too, and I will. I’m not giving you any details, but I’m about to make a move that would get me out this game with my family. My uncle approved my transition, and I’m ready to attempt to be a regular hardworking nigga. I’m doing this for Nelle.”

  “You should do it for yourself.”

  “I am. I will. I know it’s late, but I will still like to come over so Nelle can at least see me when she wakes up.”

  “Fine, but don’t take forever getting here. Do you really have to handle that tonight?”

  “Not really, it can wait, but I got some loose ends to tie.”

  “Okay, call me when you’re on your way.”

  “Alright, I will.”

  “Hey, Jemar!” Bre shouted as I took the phone away from my ear to end the call.

  “Yeah?” I said as I placed the phone back to my ear.

  “I forgive you. And you should try to forgive yourself too.”

  “Thanks. And I’m trying. There’s a lot of shit that I have to answer one day. I just hope I can be forgiven.” I said then ended the call. I got out of the car and headed up the walkway to the house that I was headed to. Before I could put my key in, it opened.

  “You’ve been waiting for me?” I smiled.

  “You have no idea,” Tia smirked.

  38. Bre

  “I’m so proud of you, you know?” God said to me. We were sitting on a bench at a beach just watching the waves in the distance. It was so
peaceful and beautiful.

  “I know. Thanks for not giving up on me.” I said and turned to face him. He was just like a regular old black man, but I knew who it was because nobody could speak to me like how He could.

  “How could I not? You forgot that you’re mine?”

  “I think I did, but I remember now.”

  “And that’s eternity. In life and after death.”

  “I know,” I said, then faced the waves again. It was silent...too silent. “What’s wrong?” I asked. He kinda looked sad.

  “You know I have to take him.”

  “Is that why we’re here?”

  “I wanted to bring you somewhere that gave you peace before the storm. There is more to come, but I want to show you that no matter what you may go through, peace will come, and I will always be there. Don’t lose your connection to me. I got you.”

  “Why?”

  “There is so much you don’t know, but in due time.” He said as he got up from the bench.

  “Who is it?” I asked before he walked away.

  “Get up and see.” He pointed to the opposite direction of the beach. There was a male’s silhouette standing with his feet in the sand, looking out into the ocean. I got up and walked over to him. However, as I got closer, there was a sudden bright light, so bright I couldn’t see.

  I jumped out of my sleep as I heard my phone vibrating on my nightstand. Janelle was sleeping next to me, but she wasn’t disturbed. I leaned over and grabbed my phone without paying attention to the Caller ID.

  “Hello?” I answered groggily.

  “Wait, what? Slow down, what happened?” I said. I threw the covers off my body and planted my feet on the floor. “Noooooooooooooo!” I cried. I didn’t even realize that Janelle had woken up until I felt her little head on my back. I pulled her into my lap and looked down at her. She didn’t have a clue as to what was going on, but it seemed she did because she laid her head on my chest and smiled, letting me know it was going to be okay.