Nobody’s Darling

by Nobody’s Darling (retail) (epub)

  It was dark and cold, and as he climbed into the carriage his mood matched the night well. When Thomas clicked the horses on and the carriage moved away, Luke settled back in the soft leather seat and began to reflect on the way his father had dismissed any idea of handing over more responsibility.

  Suddenly he was smiling to himself in the darkness, his mind running with mischievous thoughts. Wouldn’t it be something if he succeeded in acquiring the Banks foundry where his father had failed? Wouldn’t it show his father how he had wronged his only son in not trusting his ability? And wouldn’t it be wonderfully satisfying to set himself up against his father? ‘To ruin him once and for all,’ he muttered, laughing softly at the very idea. It could be done, he calculated. ‘It’s time to settle this between us, Father,’ he said grimly. ‘Perhaps then you’ll see that your “wayward” son is a better man than you are.’

  As he came boldly into the club, the sound of music permeated the air, and lewd laughter, and the unmistakable smell of fancy whores. ‘There’s a private party in the back room,’ the doorman explained with a knowing wink.

  Luke was reminded of another party. And he could hardly wait. Before Christmas Eve was over, Cicely Banks would be eating out of his hand. She was the means by which he could acquire not only the Banks foundry, but in time the absolute trust of his father; especially if she was to bear him a son. The thought amused him immensely. All women were fools, and Cicely Banks would be no exception.

  Chapter Five

  ‘I can’t say I like the idea of you sleeping over at the Bankses.’ Lizzie rocked back and forth in the rocking chair, growing more and more agitated. ‘I should have put a stop to it the minute you told me,’ she grumbled. Suddenly she brought the chair to a halt, a triumphant grin on her face as she stared at Ruby. It’s not too late even now. No! You’re not staying over, and that’s that. You can tell ’em yer poorly, or I can be poorly, it don’t matter what yer tell ’em. But you’re not sleeping in that house, not while I’ve a say in it, my girl.’

  Ruby couldn’t believe her ears. A minute ago her mother was seated at the table mending Da’s socks, but now she had rounded for a confrontation. Ruby knew her mam hadn’t liked the idea right from when she told her some weeks back, but there had been nothing said about her not being able to stay at Billenge House on the night of the party. ‘Oh, Mam, I can’t let Cicely down now,’ she pleaded, her heart sinking to her boots. ‘Besides, I’ve already promised.’

  ‘Well, yer can unpromise, ’cause yer not staying, and that’s an end to it. I must have been mad even to consider allowing it.’ The thought of Ruby sleeping under the same roof as the man who had fathered her all those years since, had haunted Lizzie since the girl told her about the Christmas Eve party. At first, she had tried hard not to let it cloud her judgement. After all, Ruby was a much-valued member of that household, and she would be paid good wages for her extra duties. What was more, neither Ruby nor Jeffrey Banks had any idea that they were father and daughter, so surely there was little harm in Ruby staying over?

  Lizzie had fought with all those arguments over the past weeks, but now that the time was almost on them, her courage had given out and she was all of a sweat about her secret somehow being found out. ‘You’d best make it clear when yer go in tomorrow… yer won’t be staying over. You tell ’em that… yer won’t be staying over.’ She wagged her finger and began rocking the chair again. ‘I should never have let yer think you could,’ she finished, crossing her arms and fiercely tipping the rocker back and forth.

  For the first time in weeks she felt more at ease with herself, although there was a murmur of regret about the way she had let the girl believe she could go, about how that nice Miss Cicely had already been promised and now would be disappointed that Ruby was going back on her word, and then there were the extra wages that she would have earned. All of these factors niggled at Lizzie, dampening her bubble of joy. But then, she reminded herself of two things: first that money could never be more important than her child, and second that her man was now in work and they were as comfortable as they were ever likely to be in this life.

  ‘Please, Mam, I can’t let Cicely down.’ Ruby felt sick with disappointment.

  ‘Hey!’ Lizzie brought the chair to a halt and fixed her hazel eyes on Ruby’s unhappy face. ‘Have yer forgotten what I’ve told yer, about properly addressing yer employer?’ she demanded crossly. ‘Yer not to be so familiar with the lady’s name.’ She daren’t even think about how Cicely Banks was Ruby’s half-sister. ‘It’s Miss Cicely. Allus keep that in mind, my girl.’

  ‘But I promised I’d be there,’ she protested. ‘Don’t make me a liar, our mam.’ She thought about Cicely, and the beautiful burgundy dress which had been altered to fit her like a glove. She thought about the way in which she had deceived her mam, and wondered whether she didn’t deserve to be punished. All the same, what harm had she done? Was it so wrong to want to wear a lovely gown for the first time in her life? Was it so wrong to feel like a princess? And who would it hurt? No one. It would hurt no one, she thought. If it did, she wouldn’t do it. She felt guilty though, guilty because she had not been able to confide the truth in her mam. Oh, how she would have loved to tell her about the things Cicely had said, about how she thought Ruby was made to wear fine things, and how every eye would be turned in her direction when she walked into the room.

  Ever since that day when she had tried the dress on, Ruby had longed to tell her mam, had ached to share her secret. But her mam’s fixed views about ‘mixing with the gentry’ had warned Ruby against it. Now it would be just another dream, a dream that would never come true. It was a cruel blow. And yet, though she was obliged to keep the whole truth from her mam, and though she was bitterly frustrated at her late change of mind, Ruby would never defy that darling woman.

  So when Lizzie asked her to confirm that she understood the way of things, Ruby answered with bowed head, ‘Yes, Mam. I understand.’ And from the look on her mam’s face, she knew from experience that the argument was lost.

  During this unhappy exchange between two people he dearly loved, Ted Miller sat hunched in the chair on the other side of the fireplace, for some time steeped in his own thoughts and contentedly wriggling his bare toes in the heat from the burning coals in the grate. Since being set on at Banks’s Foundry, he felt like a man again. It was good to bring home a wage and to know that you were taking care of your family. As a rule he would never interfere in Lizzie’s rulings over the children. Usually she was right, and he only exerted his own authority when there was a rebellious attitude to be dealt with; Lenny and Ralph were becoming a pair of handfuls, but then they were lads, and lads had a way of testing the measure of their parents. On the whole, they didn’t get much past Lizzie. None of the children did.

  As for Ruby, it was plain as the nose on your face that she would never do anything to hurt her mam, she idolised her too much. He turned his head to look on Ruby’s face. There were tears in her dark blue eyes, and in spite of the fact that her voice was remarkably calm, he sensed that she was crushed by Lizzie’s harsh words. Straightening himself in the chair, he looked at Lizzie. She was stony-faced, her neck stretched and a determined gleam in her pretty eyes. ‘I’ll not hear no more of it,’ she said in a hard voice. ‘I don’t want no daughter of mine sleeping in a strange house, especially on Christmas Eve when yer should be at home with yer own family.’

  ‘Happen you’d best go to bed, lass.’ Ted’s voice was little more than a whisper as he addressed Ruby, but it filled the room with a certain authority that made both women turn to look at him.

  ‘I’m not tired, Dad,’ she replied softly. ‘Besides, I promised Maureen I’d see her before I go to bed.’

  ‘You did, eh?’ Ted leaned on one elbow and viewed her fondly. ‘Well now, we don’t want you having to break two promises, do we?’ When Ruby glanced at Lizzie, he added, ‘If it’s all right with yer mam, you can get along and say goodnight to your friend.’

>   ‘Aye.’ Lizzie couldn’t deny her that. ‘But don’t be too late afore yer back.’ She hated having to hurt the girl about tomorrow night, but for once in her life Lizzie was going to be selfish.

  Ted didn’t say anything until Ruby’s footsteps had gone over the threshold and the sound of the front door being closed echoed down the passage. And then he told Lizzie, ‘You were a bit harsh, don’t yer think?’

  ‘Happen,’ she admitted.

  ‘What’s so bad about the lass staying over at Billenge? After all, it’s her place of work. If I was asked to work an extra night-shift you’d have no objections to that, would you now eh?’

  ‘That’s different.’

  ‘Oh? And how is it “different”?’

  ‘Because you’re paid to do a night-shift, and you work right through it. It ain’t the same as sleeping next door to the gentry, stretched out in a fancy bed with silk sheets against yer skin.’’

  ‘Who says she’ll be sleeping in a fancy bed?’ He laughed good-naturedly. ‘I don’t reckon things have changed that much since you were a maid-servant at Billenge House, me beauty. Our Ruby will be put abed with the other servants at the back of the house, in a bed not too much different than the one upstairs.’

  ‘I wouldn’t put it past that Miss Cicely to treat her different. She’s already got Cook’s back up by taking the lass away from her duties when she sees fit.’ Ruby had always kept her mam in touch with what was going on.

  ‘Don’t go reading things into that,’ Ted gently warned. ‘Ruby works damned hard, it’s in her nature, you know that. Besides, she’s fond of Miss Cicely, and you said yourself, that young woman has a good heart.’ He paused when a certain memory flooded his thoughts, of how Jeffrey Banks had stood out to offer him a job when everyone else would turn him down. ‘She takes after her dad, I expect,’ he said warmly. ‘Oh, look lass it’s no secret that Jeffrey Banks’s only daughter has taken a liking to our lass, and where’s the harm in that, eh? It must be a lonely existence in that big house, with no brothers nor sisters, and if our Ruby lessens that loneliness, who are we to say it’s wrong?’

  ‘Well, it is wrong. No good can come of getting too close to the gentry.’

  ‘But, where’s the harm, Lizzie?’ he insisted, unaware how his words struck deep when he asked, ‘Are you frightened she might be stolen from you, is that it?’

  ‘Yer can say what yer like, but tomorrer night the lass comes home where she belongs.’ Lizzie’s heart was fluttering fearfully, but she made an effort to keep her voice calm. He mustn’t guess her fear. He must never, never guess.

  Ted was not about to give up. He had seen the unhappiness in Ruby’s face, and couldn’t understand why Lizzie was so unreasonable over this particular issue. ‘Be sensible,’ he pleaded. ‘You’ve told me yourself that these grand parties go on ’til all hours. Lord above, woman! Would you have the girl walking the streets in the dark early hours. There won’t be no trams, and if she’s to pay for a cab, then what’s the point of her working a late shift to earn a few extra shillings?’

  ‘She won’t be waiting on at the party neither.’

  ‘Oh, and why’s that?’

  ‘Because I say so.’

  ‘It’s her job, Lizzie. She’s been asked.’

  ‘No matter. She’ll just have to make up some excuse or other, because I’ll not have her sleeping in a strange bed.’

  He was curious then. In all the years he’d been wed to Lizzie, he could never remember her being so stubborn, ‘But, most maid-servants live in at these big houses, and when Ruby’s sixteen, I’ve no doubt she’ll be asked to do the same. Besides, didn’t you live in at Billenge House?’

  ‘We’re not talking about me.’

  He stared at her then, and suddenly he felt a shiver of something spread through his bones. ‘What are you afraid of?’ he asked

  Something in his quiet tone startled her. ‘What d’yer mean? I ain’t “afraid” of nothing.’ But she was. Every day that Ruby came nearer to her sixteenth birthday, Lizzie was afraid the girl would be obliged to live in at Billenge House. Lately, Lizzie had noticed something about her daughter, and it put the fear of God in her. The older Ruby got, the more like Jeffrey Banks she looked… the same sapphire blue eyes, the same thick dark brown hair, and that same proud way of entering a room. ‘What makes yer think I’m afraid?’ she asked light-heartedly, at the same time quietly regarding Ted’s kind homely features. Ruby had easily passed for his daughter these many years, and he must go to his grave believing she was his.

  He shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don’t know,’ he admitted, ‘It’s just that – well, to be honest, Lizzie, I can’t see no harm at all in Ruby sleeping at the Bankses’, not when she’s duty bound to work ’til late. And I for one don’t want the lass wandering the streets looking for transport home.’ There was curiosity in his voice as he went on, ‘Honest to God, Lizzie, there’s no rhyme or reason why you should be kicking up such a God almighty fuss.’

  Lizzie felt cornered. The last thing she wanted to do was to raise his suspicions. He was a good and simple man, but he had touched on something dangerous when he asked her what she was afraid of. Sighing, she fell back into the chair, ‘All right’ she reluctantly conceded, ‘I’ll think about it. But I’m not promising anything, mind.’

  ‘You think on it, Lizzie, and you’ll see I’m right,’ he encouraged with a grin. When Lizzie nodded, he too settled back in his chair. ‘The lass’ll be all right, you’ll see. And we shall have her here for Christmas Day.’ He shook his head and tutted with amazement. ‘By! To think our Ruby is fifteen years old come Christmas Day.’ He turned and smiled on her. ‘Time flies Lizzie, lass.’

  She nodded. It was true. Time did fly. Nigh on fifteen years ago, at four o’clock on Christmas morning, she had the easiest birth ever. Ruby popped into the world like a cork from a bottle; she had always been a laughing good-natured baby, affectionate and delightful, and now here she was, almost grown up, fetching a wage to her mammy, and a handsome young man down the road looking at her for his wife. By rights it should be plain sailing from now on. Yet some deep troubled instinct told Lizzie that her daughter’s trials were only just beginning. And her own too.

  * * *

  ‘You will tell me all about the party, won’t you, Ruby?’ Maureen’s eyes shone as she looked at her friend who was standing by the window. Across the room, the tiny grate emitted a cheery glow, warming the room until the heat was almost unbearable. Beside the bed stood a narrow cupboard, littered with all manner of paraphernalia: bottles of medicine, stone jars containing body-rubs and little phials of pills. Right in the corner stood a large brass candlestick, containing a round white blob of tallow that burned brightly, the flickering flame sending weird shadows all round the walls.

  The smell in this room never changed – it was the smell of illness, a damp sweet smell that told Ruby she must cherish the times she and Maureen had together. Tonight the air was cloying, but as always Maureen had spent most of the day seated by the window. The curtains were still open and the moonlight poured in. Ruby looked out at the night sky, a vast expanse of ocean above, the same deep blue as her eyes, split here and there with trailing stars and etched in its middle was a bright yellow moon. The whole beautiful creation put Ruby in mind of the surface of Maureen’s little cupboard, although in truth, it could not have been more different.

  Invigorated by the sight of all that splendour, and feeling less confined because of it, she drew in a long deep sigh. Then, turning to Maureen, she said, ‘Of course I’ll tell you all about it. The very next morning I’ll come and tell you about the pretty ladies and the handsome gents, and I’ll remember the things they said and the clothes they wore, and the food on the table, and – oh it will be grand, I’m sure.’ She laughed then skipped to her friend’s side, where she fell to her knees, rolled her eyes heavenwards and sighed, ‘Oh, Maureen, whatever will I do if our mam doesn’t change her mind?’

  ‘She will. Didn’t you
say you thought your dad might persuade her?’

  ‘Well, he gave me a secret little look just now, so I’m hoping it will all come right.’ Taking Maureen’s slender fingers into her own, she tenderly stroked them ‘I haven’t told you everything though,’ she admitted with a wry little smile.

  ‘Oh?’ Maureen had guessed there was more. ‘Come on then, Ruby Miller… out with it,’ she laughed. ‘You’re up to something, aren’t you?’

  ‘Promise you won’t tell?’

  ‘Who would I tell?’

  ‘Johnny.’ The thought of him knowing how she was going to dress up like a lady and actually attend the gentry party was somehow disturbing to Ruby. In fact, for the very first time since she and Cicely had planned it, Ruby was ashamed. And then she was angry, irritated that he should raise such deep feelings in her. ‘I especially don’t want Johnny to know,’ she exclaimed stiffly.

  ‘Don’t worry. He won’t know from me,’ Maureen promised with her hand on her heart. ‘Go on then!’ she urged, prodding Ruby impatiently. ‘Tell me what you’ve been up to, you bad ’un.’

  Ruby took a deep breath, then launched into a full account of how Cicely had come up with this exciting idea of dressing Ruby like a lady and introducing her to all the guests as a friend. She described the beautiful burgundy dress, and the four sessions in Cicely’s quarters where the dressmaker had fitted it to her, cutting and trimming, sewing and shaping, until now it looked like it was made for her all along. She told of how Cicely’s own hairdresser was going to attend her an hour before the party got underway. And, so that Cook and the wretched girl would not find out, Cicely had arranged for them to have the evening off.