Think Like a Monk

by Jay Shetty

  “I will admit that I went mad, totally mad”: Chris Sullivan, “How Daniel Day-Lewis’s Notorious Role Preparation Has Yielded Another Oscar Contender,” Independent, February 1, 2008, https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/how-daniel-day-lewis-notoriously-rigorous-role-preparation-has-yielded-another-oscar-contender-776563.html.

  the words of Chaitanya: Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya, 20.21.

  The foundation of virtually all monastic traditions: “Social and Institutional Purposes: Conquest of the Spiritual Forces of Evil,” Encyclopaedia Britannica, accessed November 8, 2019, https://www.britannica.com/topic/monasticism/Social-and-institutional-purposes.

  Our inclination is to avoid silence: Timothy D. Wilson, David A. Reinhard, Erin C. Westgate, Daniel T. Gilbert, Nicole Ellerbeck, Cheryl Hahn, Casey L. Brown, and Adi Shaked, “Just Think: The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind,” Science 345, no. 6192 (July 4, 2014): 75–77, doi: 10.1126/science.1250830.

  spend thirty-three years in bed: Gemma Curtis, “Your Life in Numbers,” Creative Commons, accessed November 15, 2019, https://www.dreams.co.uk/sleep-matters-club/your-life-in-numbers-infographic/.

  looking at TV and social media: Ibid.

  According to the Gita, these are the higher values and qualities: Verses 16.1–5 from The Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 238–239.

  A twenty-year study of people living in a Massachusetts town: James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis, “Dynamic Spread of Happiness in a Large Social Network: Longitudinal Analysis over 20 Years in the Framingham Heart Study,” BMJ 337, no. a2338 (December 5, 2008), doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.a2338.

  TWO: NEGATIVITY

  As the Buddha advised: Verse 4.50 from The Dhammapada, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 118.

  Stanford psychologists took 104 subjects: Emily M. Zitek, Alexander H. Jordan, Benoît Monin, and Frederick R. Leach, “Victim Entitlement to Behave Selfishly,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 98, no. 2 (2010): 245–255, doi: 10.1037/a0017168.

  In the 1950s Solomon Asch: Eliot Aronson and Joshua Aronson, The Social Animal, 12th edition (New York: Worth Publishers, 2018).

  We’re wired to conform: Zhenyu Wei, Zhiying Zhao, and Yong Zheng, “Neural Mechanisms Underlying Social Conformity,” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 7 (2013): 896, doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2013.00896.

  even people who report feeling better after venting: Brad J. Bushman, “Does Venting Anger Feed or Extinguish the Flame? Catharsis, Rumination, Distraction, Anger, and Aggressive Responding,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (June 1, 2002), doi: 10.1177/0146167202289002.

  Studies also show that long-term stress: Robert M. Sapolsky, “Why Stress Is Bad for Your Brain,” Science 273, no. 5276 (August 9, 1996): 749–750, doi: 10.1126/science.273.5276.749.

  Catholic monk Father Thomas Keating said: Thomas Keating, Invitation to Love 20th Anniversary Edition: The Way of Christian Contemplation (London: Bloomsbury Continuum, 2012).

  “Letting go gives us freedom”: Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation (New York: Harmony, 1999).

  “Don’t count the teeth”: Arthur Jeon, City Dharma: Keeping Your Cool in the Chaos (New York: Crown Archetype, 2004), 120.

  Sister Christine Vladimiroff says: Hannah Ward and Jennifer Wild, eds., The Monastic Way: Ancient Wisdom for Contemporary Living: A Book of Daily Readings (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 2007), 183.

  Competition breeds envy: William Buck, Mahabharata (Delhi: Motilal Banarsidass Publishers, 2004), 341.

  The Vaca Sutta, from early Buddhist scriptures: Thanissaro Bhikku, trans., “Vaca Sutta: A Statement,” AccesstoInsight.org, accessed November 11, 2019, https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an05/an05.198.than.html.

  writing in a journal about upsetting events: Bridget Murray, “Writing to Heal: By Helping People Manage and Learn from Negative Experiences, Writing Strengthens Their Immune Systems as Well as Their Minds,” Monitor on Psychology 33, no. 6 (June 2002): 54.

  the Harvard Business Review lists nine more specific words: Susan David, “3 Ways to Better Understand Your Emotions,” Harvard Business Review, November 10, 2016, https://hbr.org/2016/11/3-ways-to-better-understand-your-emotions.

  Radhanath Swami is my spiritual teacher: Radanath Swami, interview by Jay Shetty, #FollowTheReader with Jay Shetty, HuffPost, November 7, 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW1Am81L0wc.

  The Bhagavad Gita describes three gunas: Verse 14.5–9 from The Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 224–225.

  Research at Luther College: Loren L. Toussaint, Amy D. Owen, and Alyssa Cheadle, “Forgive to Live: Forgiveness, Health, and Longevity,” Journal of Behavioral Medicine 35, no. 4 (August 2012), 375–386. doi: 10.1007/s10865-011-9632-4.

  Transformational forgiveness is linked: Kathleen A. Lawler, Jarred W. Younger, Rachel L. Piferi, Rebecca L. Jobe, Kimberly A. Edmondson, and Warren H. Jones, “The Unique Effects of Forgiveness on Health: An Exploration of Pathways,” Journal of Behavioral Medicine 28, no. 2 (April 2005): 157–167, doi: 10.1007/s10865-005-3665-2.

  sixty-eight married couples agreed: Peggy A. Hannon, Eli J. Finkel, Madoka Kumashiro, and Caryl E. Rusbult, “The Soothing Effects of Forgiveness on Victims’ and Perpetrators’ Blood Pressure,” Personal Relationships 19, no. 2 (June 2012): 279–289, doi: 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2011.01356.x.

  “I became a Buddhist because I hated my husband”: Pema Chödrön, “Why I Became a Buddhist,” Sounds True, February 14, 2008, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4slnjvGjP4&t=117s; Pema Chödrön, “How to Let Go and Accept Change,” interview by Oprah Winfrey, Super Soul Sunday, Oprah Winfrey Network, October 15, 2014. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgJ1xfhJneA.

  Ellen DeGeneres sees the line clearly: Anne-Marie O’Neill, “Ellen DeGeneres: ‘Making People Feel Good Is All I Ever Wanted to Do,’ ” Parade, October 27, 2011, https://parade.com/133518/annemarieoneill/ellen-degeneres-2/.

  THREE: FEAR

  his commencement address at Yale University: “Tom Hanks Addresses the Yale Class of 2011,” Yale University, May 22, 2011, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baIlinqoExQ.

  one of the world’s leading security experts: Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear (New York: Dell, 1998).

  Biosphere 2: Tara Brach, “Nourishing Heartwood: Two Pathways to Cultivating Intimacy,” Psychology Today, August 6, 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-true-refuge/201808/nourishing-heartwood.

  Alex Honnold stunned the world: Free Solo, directed by Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Little Monster Films and Itinerant Films, 2018.

  In the words of Śāntideva: Śāntideva, A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life, trans. Vesna A. Wallace and B. Alan Wallace (New York: Snow Lion, 1997).

  deep breathing activates: Christopher Bergland, “Diaphragmatic Breathing Exercises and Your Vagus Nerve,” Psychology Today, May 16, 2017, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201705/diaphragmatic-breathing-exercises-and-your-vagus-nerve.

  “What you run from”: Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters Remix (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2018).

  one of the largest producers: “Basic Information About Landfill Gas,” Landfill Methane Outreach Program, accessed November 12, 2019, https://www.epa.gov/lmop/basic-information-about-landfill-gas.

  FOUR: INTENTION

  “When there is harmony”: Some sources attribute this to commentaries on the Rig Veda.

  four fundamental motivations: Bhaktivinoda Thakura, “The Nectarean Instructions of Lord Caitanya,” Hari kírtan, June 12, 2010, https://kirtan.estranky.cz/clanky/philosophy---english/sri-sri-caitanya--siksamrta--the-nectarean-instructions-of-lord--caitanya.html.

  American spiritual luminary Tara Brach: Tara Brach, “Absolute Cooperation with the Inevitable: Aligning with wha
t is here is a way of practicing presence. It allows us to respond to our world with creativity and compassion,” HuffPost, November 4, 2013, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/happiness-tips_b_4213151.

  derived from a poem by Kabir: Kabir, “ ‘Of the Musk Deer’: 15th Century Hindi Poems,” Zócalo Poets, accessed November 11, 2019, https://zocalopoets.com/2012/04/11/kabir-of-the-musk-deer-15th-century-hindi-poems/.

  money does not buy happiness: Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton, “High Income Improves Evaluation of Life But Not Emotional Well-Being,” PNAS 107, no. 38 (September 21, 2010): 16489–16493, doi:10.1073/pnas.1011492107.

  happiness rates have consistently declined: Jean M. Twenge, “The Evidence for Generation Me and Against Generation We,” Emerging Adulthood 1, no. 1 (March 2, 2013): 11–16, doi: 10.1177/2167696812466548/.

  generally American incomes have risen since 2005: Brigid Schulte, “Why the U.S. Rating on the World Happiness Report Is Lower Than It Should Be—And How to Change It,” Washington Post, May 11, 2015, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/05/11/why-many-americans-are-unhappy-even-when-incomes-are-rising-and-how-we-can-change-that/.

  “Money and mansions”: Some sources attribute this to commentaries on the Atharva Veda.

  “we can better handle discomfort”: Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress (New York: Avery, 2016).

  researchers asked seminary students: John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson, “From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 27, no. 1 (1973): 100–108, doi: 10.1037/h0034449.

  “everything you do is your spiritual life”: Laurence Freeman, Aspects of Love: On Retreat with Laurence Freeman (Singapore: Medio Media/Arthur James, 1997).

  “we want to be good without even trying”: Benedicta Ward, ed., The Desert Fathers: Sayings of the Early Christian Monks (New York: Penguin Classics, 2003).

  MEDITATION: BREATHE

  “As a fish hooked and left on the sand”: Verse 3.34 from The Dhammapada, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 115.

  “breath is the extension of our inmost life”: Rig Veda, 1.66.1, and for discussion Abbot George Burke, “The Hindu Tradition of Breath Meditation,” BreathMeditation.org, accessed November 8, 2019, https://breathmeditation.org/the-hindu-tradition-of-breath-meditation.

  the Buddha described ānāpānasati: Thanissaro Bhikku, trans., “Anapanasati Sutta: Mindfulness of Breathing,” AccesstoInsight.org, accessed November 8, 2019, https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.118.than.html.

  improving cardiovascular health, lowering overall stress, and even improving academic test performance: Tarun Sexana and Manjari Saxena, “The Effect of Various Breathing Exercises (Pranayama) in Patients with Bronchial Asthma of Mild to Moderate Severity,” International Journal of Yoga 2, no. 1 (January–June 2009): 22–25, doi: 10.4103/0973-6131.53838; Roopa B. Ankad, Anita Herur, Shailaja Patil, G. V. Shashikala, and Surekharani Chinagudi, “Effect of Short-Term Pranayama and Meditation on Cardiovascular Functions in Healthy Individuals,” Heart Views 12, no. 2 (April–June 2011): 58–62, doi: 10.4103/1995-705X.86016; Anant Narayan Sinha, Desh Deepak, and Vimal Singh Gusain, “Assessment of the Effects of Pranayama/Alternate Nostril Breathing on the Parasympathetic Nervous System in Young Adults,” Journal of Clinical & Diagnostic Research 7, no. 5 (May 2013): 821–823, doi: 10.7860/JCDR/2013/4750.2948; and Shreyashi Vaksh, Mukesh Pandey, and Rakesh Kumar, “Study of the Effect of Pranayama on Academic Performance of School Students of IX and XI Standard,” Scholars Journal of Applied Medical Sciences 4, no. 5D (2016): 1703–1705.

  FIVE: PURPOSE

  “When you protect your dharma”: The Manusmriti, Verse 8.15.

  the psychology of communication: Albert Mehrabian, Nonverbal Communication (London: Routledge, 1972).

  She first entered the wilds of Tanzania: “About Jane,” Jane Goodall Institute, accessed November 11, 2019, https://janegoodall.org/our-story/about-jane.

  don’t hit our stride quite so early: Rich Karlgaard, Late Bloomers: The Power of Patience in a World Obsessed with Early Achievement (New York: Currency, 2019).

  Andre Agassi dropped a bombshell: Andre Agassi, Open: An Autobiography (New York: Vintage, 2010).

  “It is trust in the limits of the self”: Joan D. Chittister, Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2005).

  studied hospital cleaning crews: Amy Wrzesniewski, Justin M. Berg, and Jane E. Dutton, “Managing Yourself: Turn the Job You Have into the Job You Want,” Harvard Business Review, June 2010, https://hbr.org/2010/06/managing-yourself-turn-the-job-you-have-into-the-job-you-want; “Amy Wrzesniewski on Creating Meaning in Your Own Work,” re:Work with Google, November 10, 2014, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_igfnctYjA.

  imposed their own rigid class system: Sanjoy Chakravorty, The Truth About Us: The Politics of Information from Manu to Modi (Hachette India, 2019).

  Joseph Campbell had no model of a career: Robert Segal, “Joseph Campbell: American Author,” Encyclopaedia Britannica, accessed November 11, 2019, https://www.britannica.com/biography/Joseph-Campbell-American-author; “Joseph Campbell: His Life and Contributions,” Center for Story and Symbol, accessed November 11, 2019, https://folkstory.com/campbell/psychology_online_joseph_campbell.html; Joseph Campbell with Bill Moyers, The Power of Myth (New York: Anchor, 1991).

  dharma protects those: The Mahabharata, Manusmriti verse 8.15.

  Emma Slade, lived in Hong Kong: Emma Slade, “My Path to Becoming a Buddhist,” TEDx Talks, February 6, 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnJIjEAE41w; “Meet the British Banker Who Turned Buddhist Nun in Bhutan,” Economic Times, August 28, 2017, https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/international/world-news/meet-the-british-banker-who-turned-buddhist-nun-in-bhutan/being-taken-hostage/slideshow/60254680.cms; “Charity Work,” EmmaSlade.com, accessed November 11, 2019, https://www.emmaslade.com/charity-work.

  “Just like a red, blue, or white lotus”: The Dona Sutta, Anguttara Nikaya verse 4.36.

  SIX: ROUTINE

  85 percent of us need an alarm clock: Til Roenneberg, Internal Time: Chronotypes, Social Jet Lag, and Why You’re So Tired (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2012).

  “a profound failure of self-respect”: Maria Popova, “10 Learnings from 10 Years of Brain Pickings,” Brain Pickings, accessed November 11, 2019, https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/10/23/10-years-of-brain-pickings/.

  checking messages within ten minutes: RootMetrics, “Survey Insights: The Lifestyles of Mobile Consumers,” October 24, 2018, http://rootmetrics.com/en-US/content/rootmetrics-survey-results-are-in-mobile-consumer-lifestyles.

  There are only six cars: “Fastest Cars 0 to 60 Times,” accessed November 11, 2019, https://www.zeroto60times.com/fastest-cars-0-60-mph-times/.

  Tim Cook starts his day: Lev Grossman, “Runner-Up: Tim Cook, the Technologist,” TIME, December 19, 2012, http://poy.time.com/2012/12/19/runner-up-tim-cook-the-technologist/; Michelle Obama, “Oprah Talks to Michelle Obama,” interview by Oprah Winfrey, O, The Oprah Magazine, April 2000, https://www.oprah.com/omagazine/michelle-obamas-oprah-interview-o-magazine-cover-with-obama/all#ixzz5qYixltgS.

  earlier sleep time can put you in a better mood: Jacob A. Nota and Meredith E. Coles, “Duration and Timing of Sleep Are Associated with Repetitive Negative Thinking,” Cognitive Therapy and Research 39, no. 2 (April 2015): 253–261, doi: 10.1007/s10608-014-9651-7.

  As much as 75 percent of the HGH: M. L. Moline, T. H. Monk, D. R. Wagner, C. P. Pollak, J. Kream, J. E. Fookson, E. D. Weitzman, and C. A. Czeisler, “Human Growth Hormone Release Is Decreased During Sleep in Temporal Isolation (Free-Running),” Chronobiologia 13, no. 1 (January–March 1986): 13–19.

  Kevin O’Leary said that before he goes to sleep: Ali Montag, “These Are Kevin O’Leary’s Top 3 Productivity Hacks—and Anyone Can Use Them,” CNBC, July 23, 2018, https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/19/kevin-olearys-top-prod
uctivity-tips-that-anyone-can-use.html.

  each decision is an opportunity to stray from their path: Christopher Sommer, “How One Decision Can Change Everything,” interview by Brian Rose, London Real, October 2, 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgJ3xHyOzsA.

  “People living in the cities and suburbs”: Hannah Ward and Jennifer Wild, eds., The Monastic Way: Ancient Wisdom for Contemporary Living: A Book of Daily Readings (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 2007), 75–76.

  not the same as noticing it: Alan D. Castel, Michael Vendetti, and Keith J. Holyoak, “Fire Drill: Inattentional Blindness and Amnesia for the Location of Fire Extinguishers,” Attention, Perception, & Psychophysics 74 (2012): 1391–1396, doi: 10.3758/s13414-012-0355-3.

  Kobe Bryant was onto this: Kobe Bryant, “Kobe Bryant: On How to Be Strategic & Obsessive to Find Your Purpose,” interview by Jay Shetty, On Purpose, September 9, 2019, https://jayshetty.me/kobe-bryant-on-how-to-be-strategic-obsessive-to-find-your-purpose/.

  “doing dishes is unpleasant”: Thich Nhat Hanh, At Home in the World: Stories and Essential Teachings from a Monk’s Life (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2019).

  “Yesterday is but a dream”: Kālidāsa, The Works of Kālidāsa, trans. Arthur W. Ryder (CreateSpace, 2015).

  2 percent of us can multitask: Garth Sundem, “This Is Your Brain on Multitasking: Brains of Multitaskers Are Structurally Different Than Brains of Monotaskers,” Psychology Today, February 24, 2012, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-trust/201202/is-your-brain-multitasking.

  erodes our ability to focus: Cal Newport, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 2016).

  took a group of students: Eyal Ophir, Clifford Nass, and Anthony D. Wagner, “Cognitive Control in Media Multitaskers,” PNAS 106, no. 37 (September 15, 2009): 15583–15587, doi: 10.1073/pnas.0903620106.